Tip 1 from a Long Term Fapstronaut: Define your Bottom Lines

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Tip 1 from a Long Term Fapstronaut: Define your Bottom Lines 

by cwolfe1458 days

Someone suggested I share some of the things that have worked for me over the last four years so I thought I'd give it a shot and see if there was interest in the community. So here 'tis:

Get rid of ambiguity. What are you trying to accomplish and what are the 'slippery slope' behaviors that lead you to engaging in the behavior? So for me No Masturbation, Porn, Drugs and alcohol are my bottom lines. My slippery slope involves isolating from friends and family, telling lies, arguing, browsing the internet aimlessly, working too much, playing video games too often, overspending, overeating, too much TV and more. In short anything that leads me to numb out or forget who I am and what I am about needs to be watched closely and checked in with my recovery buddies.

This gives me a potential heads up for when things are going to get rough. 'Been playing video games for too long, gonna be dazed and confused and maybe a little ashamed of what I haven't accomplished when I stop. Be Ready.' This lets me recognize what pushes me to my violate my bottom lines and gets rid of the BS 'I don't know what happened. All the sudden I was looking at porn and tapping' voice in my head that like to play helpless in the face of my addictions.

Make a list: Bottom Lines (those things you will not do anymore) and Slippery Slope (Behaviors that are red flags and lead to you violating your Bottom Lines.) Until it is written down my addict brain will pretend it doesn't really exist. I have to write it down.

TL/DR: Ambiguity is the enemy. Write down the specific behaviors you are not accepting in your life anymore and list the behaviors that lead you to do what you are trying to stop.