Tip 2 from a Long Term Fapstronaut: Toplines

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Tip 2 from a Long Term Fapstronaut: Toplines 

So Tip 1 was define your Bottom Lines (things you will no longer do) and Slippery Slope Behaviors (things you do that lead to you violating your Bottom Lines.)

A good start but I can't live a life of not doing something nor can I replace something as fun and exciting as fapping and porn with nothing. That is where Toplines come in. I have two kinds of Toplines.

The first is like an emergency protocol. When the idea of porn/fapping has me in its Will-O-Wisp spell I have a number of simple things I do instead. These are mechanical things I work out in advance that require no thinking, make me feel good about me and also make me feel empowered. So I make my bed, brush my teeth, do the dishes, go for a walk, vacuum, 30 push-ups, play guitar, etc. I work these out when I am not triggered because approaching the event horizon of porn/fapping is not a good place for me to improvise or think. I become dazed, obsessed and everything seems like a bad idea except violating my bottom-line. I need simple things to do to snap me out of it. I don't know why this works but it does and it works well.

I encourage you to experiment and see what works for you. Don't take my word for it. Try it and learn what works for you. Make a list, keep it in your wallet or on your refrigerator. As soon as the temptation starts and the pulse starts pounding in anticipation get to work on the list and the spell will be broken. That is my experience at least.

A word of warning: I have found that replacing my addictive behavior with something else I struggle being compulsive about does not work. Replacing porn with speed chess on-line led to disaster for me, as did other video games.

The second kind of Topline is more of a Big Picture thing. What can you do for you that is good to you? Call friends? Be on Budget? Exercise? Weight Watchers? Go to Church? Play Frisbee? Learn to Paint? Photography? So there is the stuff that is dragging you down (Bottom Lines) but there needs to be a growing list of things that build you up. This is a place that is very difficult for me to make progress. It has taken a lot of time and energy to come up with stuff that is fun instead of drudgery that I do so I don't feel bad anymore.

Porn/Drugs/Fapping took the place of every hobby and fun thing in my life. It has been a struggle to rediscover these Topline things but that is part of the Journey. Avoiding Bottomlines leads to a life without shame and constant self-destruction. Toplines lead to a life full of success, pride, self-respect and joy.

Hope this helps