Tips on how to get a good start with NoFap
To celebrate my 20th day without PMO I'm going to share some things I did when I started this journey and I must say that they have been extremely effective since this is my first time I even try this. I cannot guarantee that these will help everyone but I hope that someone will find them useful.
In my opinion, it's very important to know why you do this and how you're going to do this. This may be why so many people relapse after a day or two; people don't know what they are doing. So here are some things to do in the very same day you decide to go nofap:
1) Admit that you have a problem. Say it aloud or write it on a post-it. But because the fact that you're reading this gives me an impression that you have already done this I won't talk about it more than this.
2) Write about your problem. We all have got negative things from PMO why we are doing this: wrecked relationships, anxiety, ED...the list goes on. Write about these negative aspects as vividly and honestly as possible. This thing will remind you why you're doing this even though you have urges. Here is an extract from mine: I kept going on so long that my legs hurt because I had been sitting in front of my computer so long. I was exhausted because I had been up so late watching porn. But after the ejaculation the reality always hit me: I hadn't brushed my teeth, I hadn't washed my face or taken a shower. [...] But mostly I felt guilty because I had spent hours of my life basically doing nothing even if I had homework or other stuff. I got to bed depressed and saying to myself that I would fix everything the following day. Almost always I did but the same thing repeated over and over again making me feel like a total failure
3) List your triggers. It really helps you to identify situations you're about to relapse and it's easier to avoid these kind of situations. I myself listed e.g. Instagram because in the summer it was full of hot beach pictures and it would have been too great a temptation to browse these photos in my urges.
4) Set your goal. It's really REALLY important to have a realistic goal. Even though you are about to go 90 days in it's better to have smaller waypoints than one huge goal. After every milestone it's good to assess your progress: Did you relapse or was it close? Was it easy or hard? This way it's easy to set your next goal. If the latest milestone was almost impossible to reach make your next goal smaller and if it was a piece of cake take a bigger bite. For example my first goal was 14 days. I got there fairly easily but at that time I started to feel some serious urges so I made 20 days my next waypoint (so from 14 days to only 6 days) and now I'm here!
5) Make yourself a lifeline. This lifeline is basically a list of things you will do when you're about to relapse (turn to your lifeline if you are opening an icognito window or a new tab for you-know-what). But instead of some everyday activities the lifeline should include chores that you don't do everyday but have to be done from time to time like cleaning a fridge (cleaning is always a great lifeline) or service your bike or whatever. Everyday, choose one or two things from your lifeline that you will do that day if you're on the edge. It's good to have something to turn to when the urges hit hard.
6) Never give in. If you relapse, keep calm. There's always the next day. All you have to do is reassess your goals and your lifeline and make the changes needed and someday you will succeed. Stay strong my fellow frapstronauts!