YBOP Articles on Porn Addiction & Porn-Induced Problems

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Most of these articles were written for other websites, and follow a format of neuroscience combined with anecdotes—generally from porn users (a few were written by other authors). The articles were published between 2009-2013, before most of the recent brain studies on porn users were published. While accurate, they read as though there is little brain research on the effects of porn. To date every neurological study offers support for the porn addiction model. All support the premise that internet porn use can cause addiction-related brain changes, as do recent neuroscience-based reviews of the literature. For a short overview of key concepts, with lots of citations, read this article

The core concepts of how Internet porn is unique and how use can cause addiction are explained in this series of articles, and video (I suggest reading in sequence):


Section One: You Evolved to be Hooked on Porn

Section Two: What's Driving Your Addiction?

Section Three: The Effects of Porn on the User

Section Four: The Porn Debate (also see: Questionable & Misleading Studies)

Section Five: Relationships and Porn

Section Six: Masturbation & Ejaculation Articles

Section Seven: Sexuality and the Brain

Section Eight: Intimate Relationships and the Brain

Section Nine: Articles of Special Interest to Women

Chapter Six: The Road to Excess is a chapter from our book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. It's an easy read, and explains what we knew about the brain and porn addiction circa 2008.

Comments

Should I wait longerto start hooking up with people? I was with someone the other day and as I was performing oral on them I was able to have an orgasm by masturbating. Which was good. Yesterday I almost had an orgasm while with someone twice but it didnt happen. Should I still wait longer? I'm still not able to have a 100% erection. Am I trying too soon? I still haven't been watching porn so that's good.

I don't give advice on sex or masturbation. It really depends on your goals and condition. Some guys like to be hard as a rock and sure they are ready, and others don't mind if they can't get a full erection.

Older guys tend to get away with more orgasms and progress, while younger guys do not. I guess you want to consider if "failing" will reinforce any performance anxiety

Okay, so from when I was about 10 I found out about porn. I was in an unfortunate place because I found out about prone masterbation and not the regular way and Masterbated like that for about 4-5 years with porn. recently I came over that and can Now Masterbate the normal way. but lately it's been very hard getting up with my girlfriend and it sucks. I'm on day 3 of no porn or masterbation. last night I went to a party and drank and got with a girl(I cheated I know) but I only got half hard but it went away in like a minute. will I ever get better? I'm 15 and nervous

You may have started early, but you are quitting early, so you will heal just fine. Stay away from porn and fantasizing about porn and everything will eventually normalize.

 

...and it feels glorious! It's been hard (literally and figuratively), but its such a personal achievement for an addict like me whose been masterbating since adolescence. My erections are frequent and way more solid now than what they were before I stopped PMO-ing. Just a few days ago, I had my first wet dream in fucking years! Morining wood is there EVERY single day when I wake up. The urges are still there, but knowing what and why those urges arise gives me the personal power to not relapse.

I fantasize about real life girls that I know or have seen instead of pornstars. My need for genuine female contact is growing to the point where I'm initiating conversations. Guess my confidence level in gradually increasing. Anxiety is still there, but I don't fear the consequences of rejection as much as I did when I was hooked on porn.

This new sense, or long forgotten sense, of self-confidence is really helping me push myself harder into the direction of the man I've always imagined I could be, but that was hindered from the vicious cycle of porn addiction.

I just want to tell all the other recovering guys (or gals) to stay strong and believe that positive changes are on the horizons ... if you want it bad enough.

See ya again on Day 60!!!

;D

I recently came out to my wife regarding my addiction. It might be too late to save my marriage but I want to try. I am looking for a good, SECULAR, resource for her to check out. When you google 'wife of a porn addict' every single page returned is faith based. The problem is that my wife, like myself, is not particularly religious. Actually we are not religious at all. I am surprised that I have not been able to find a good link on this site. Thanks in advance for any help!

a different kind of support than users, and we found we couldn't do both. Partners often need to emote and rant as part of their healing.

In contrast, users need to look past feelings of guilt and shame to heal. One book she might like is Love You, Hate the Porn. It does a good job of showing both partners what the other one is dealing with, and it emphasizes daily bonding behaviors. Those are especially important in restoring trust at a deep level. See The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

If she's not particularly upset, then she can do a lot to help you through the recovery if she wishes:

Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips

And if you two want to try something totally unfamiliar that sometimes helps guys during their reboot:

Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack: Karezza More here: Karezza is for addicts (too)

As for basic education, the TEDx talk is a good place to start. So is my synopsis of the site. Both can be found on the frontpage of this site.

 

Hello everybody..

Im going to get right into it without to much details about my "porn history" as right now it won't help with anything. The thing is ...I have been struggeling to give up and fail right back into it and so on ...for years!! Recently I found out that always it happens this scenario: I fail -> feel guilty, dissapointed, disgusted ...like I want to go back in time and have again the oportunity to choos: fail or not fail -> start quiting again -> couple of days it goes easy, I am proud, I feel strong, motivated -> THE BAD DAY CAME AGAIN: THE DAY WHEN I HAVE TO CHOOSE ...It always happens the same ...I have a specific picture or a specific video in my mind. I tell myself that Im not going to watch it but ..it bothers me so much...for so long time (without being able to concentrate or focus on other things) that I finally say myself "I'll only watch this". But obviously it never happens like that because of various reasons ...and then I eventually finish up to spend 6-7 hours straight looking and searching for porn. And again the cycle is on "repeat".

Now Im in day 11 and Im struggeling with "a picture" that I have in my mind. Struggeling not to think and not to fail again. Because I know what will happend and that it will not be as "I plan" (I'll check that and Im done).

Please help me. How should I approach the situation? It will eventually go away if I don't give in?! The think is ...Im also unable to concentrate or do something else. But I know that anyways if it will be to fail I would be even worse. (Plus that, I somehow feel that my "inability to concentrate" is just a reason that my mind tries to find so I can "fail peacefully").

I hope somebody will read this and I will receive a reply.

Thank you in advance!

That is, you give your picture complete power over your actions because your brain wants the neurochemical rush of a relapse. You honestly believe you are helpless as soon as you select one of these "pictures." And this is happening because of sensitized pathways in your brain, combined with weak executive control. Both are hallmarks of addiction.

Take time to remember, or learn, how addiction works. It's not the picture that has power over you. What you're experiencing is just a brain loop firing up related to your addiction.

That may not sound like an important distinction, but it's critical, because you built that bothersome brain pathway (the picture didn't) and only you can (slowly) dismantle it. Start by watching these videos (again, if you have already seen them):

The Science Of Porn Addiction - Gabes Story - YouTube

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

http://yourbrainonporn.com/adolescent-brain-meets-highspeed-internet-porn

You can also do some things to help yourself, simultaneously:

Strengthen your executive control. Exercise, daily cold showers, meditation all help with this and you can find details about them on this page (as well as many other suggestions from site members): http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/solo-tools This helps put you back in the driver's seat...in place of your addiction brain loop.

Second, block all porn from your devices. In fact, stay offline if at all possible for a couple of months. If you must go online, do it only in a public place where you cannot watch porn or masturbate. Your brain needs time to return to normal sensitivity, and it can't do that if you stay in your binge cycle.

Finally, here are some tips for dealing with those powerful cravings (which can be really bad for a few weeks): I relapsed or am in danger of relapse. (EMERGENCY MEASURES) This always works: Cold water technique So if you're not willing to do it, you're not willing to recover at some deep level. And nothing works completely at first, so don't expect miracles.

Control of your mind returns gradually. Learn to accept those "pictures" and just let them be. You don't have to act on them. Just keep turning your attention elsewhere. Eventually, your addicted brain will give up.

Remember, if you don't give in to The Big Urge, you will see that all urges pass (usually in 10-15 minutes), and that they pass more easily with time (as your executive control gets stronger). Instead of trying to scratch your itch, let it die of being ignored.

For more on sensitized pathways: Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than A Partner?

Also, understand that a nasty withdrawal could lie between you and recovery, so learn more about it so you won't use your misery as a justification for relapsing. What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like?

Good luck. More advice here: Rebooting Advice & Observations But the most important thing is probably to stay away from online and active in the real world. That way it's easier to ignore the "pictures" when they show up.

And if you need to masturbate, do it without porn or porn fantasy. If you can't, then you don't really need to; you're just allowing your sensitized cravings for visuals to control you...again.

Be gentle with yourself. This is tough. Keep a sense of humor and persist no matter what.

My success is all yours YBOP guys ...
I always wished to write my success story and here you go....
How can i thank you Gary Wilson and his wife and offcourse the team of this angel website........My gratitude towards you wil be for many lives.
Today, I can say proudly >>> I had sex - a powerful sex in my 25 years for the first time, with a powerful boner
Yes, for sure it was not a cake walk , but i did it and i am so delighted that i could achieve what i wanted.
I cannot tell you how happy I am, Back in September 2012 i realised my Porn ED problem, when i failed (as i was addicted to porn form the age of 13 till september 2012..
After i understood the problem, i decided to take control on porn, and then my journey began, It was a blend of all emotions, challenges and endevour
but eventually it all was worth it.
Yes, my success story is combined with relapses, sadness, small victories and achievements at some point of time, but i never gave up to start again to reach my goal and to live upto this day to tell my success story to the world
Today I have no issues with erection and my early ejaculation has also healed.....My Brain rewired and my ED Healed I love you guys for helping humanity and saving the generatons......Three Cheers for YBOP and My Success
May all succeed in their journey, its possible don't give
Its easy to give up, tough to keep going - if you give up you loose everything and if you keep going "You become Everything" Cheers.
If you really wanna give up anything give up porn and see how nature opens the door of unexplored happiness, peace and life full of celebration. I wish you all the very best for your success.
Breakfree

Breakfree

I quit porn one year ago after reading articles in this website. I go by no PMO about 8 months. But my masturbation habit started again (without porn). Mostly it happen when I am in bed at night in sleepy mood then I lost my discrimination power and fall as a victim to masturbation. Once I relapsed I become upset and my self-esteem sinks then I evantually do more masturbations conciously. I masturebate even 9 times in one day. It continues everyday untill I take some strong steps to resist it. Once I am successful to resist it for 5-7 days my self esteem rise and I successfully quit masturbation. But after some months I relapsed in sleepy condition. Thats my problem. How can I stop to relapsing permanently. (I am 21 year old virgin)

We don't consider masturbation a relapse. My general advice is that if you want to cut down, because 9 times a day may be affecting you, you need to focus on replacing masturbation with other healthy activities = Whether its sports, socializing, dating, hobbies reading, etc.

In other words compulsive masturbation may be related to other things in your life.

I have another question. I stopped masturbation and today is my 3rd day started from 23 October 2014. First day was full of anxiety. But today I feel fresh. I totally stopped porn (which I started 10 year ago) about one year ago as I said before. I don't feel any craving for images now but feel craving for real one. But I neither have any girlfriend nor had to whom I can ask help for rewire. So I am unable to rewire. If I thing to plan rewiring and plan for get a gf then my mind become full of lust, I become restless and eventually masturbate. And a I said before if I masturbated one time because of actual craving then I feel fastration, anger about my failure then I masturbate once more some times later forcefully with the help of fantasizing about real one. And some days the rate become 5-9 times a day. But I stopped and today is my 3rd day. I feel so good. Hope my abstinence never break time. I thank to the creator of this website. Its helped me a lot to learn about biochemistry of porn and masturbation addiction. If I not found this website I never know about he massive harm of porn watching and masturbation although I know the harm of semen loss. I think its better to me to fully abstain from sexual matters including real one. Because thinking to have a gf make me restless, and lustful and vulnerable to masturbation that's make me sad. So I remain calm in complete abstention. Is this okay that I am not rewiring. I am practicing complete abstination without rewiring my past porn addiction which I have defeated. Is that okay?

Hey guys, i am a 25 male suffering from porn induced ed. i have been watching porn and masturbating for over 3 years. i had a relationship with this one girl with whom i had very hard to maintain erection. slowly our relation broke down. Since last november, its been almost 3 months i have not watched porn. for last 23 days i have stopped masturbating too. But last night i couldn't resist more so ended up with a masturbation with a fantasy (no porn, just memories with my ex). I am pretty confident that i will never watch porn again but the deal is with masturbation. Is masturbating during reboot called relapse? so far my progress in these few months are amazing. being social, no anxiety, no lower back pain. i am planning to control my masturbation habit too or limit it to once a month if it is really necessary. But there is some problem, and it is R rated movie. Some 20-30 second erotic scene. It is very hard to get off this thing. You just cant just walk away if there is a nude scene in a movie. I really want to be a man again. So far i am doing great staying away from porn and controlling my masturbation habit.

ppp

Hi, I'm a 20 year old college student suffering from PIED. After stumbling upon this site about a year ago I've been trying to reboot but keep messing up every time. I usually last 2-3 weeks and then relapse. Once over the summer I made it to a month and felt pretty accomplished. I remember having sex and being able to lose myself in it. Just being able to focus on sex and not whether my dick was going to stay hard, it was awesome. But of course I relapsed because not that I couldn't control but I think I choose to jerk cause I thought I was fixed. Anywho reading a lot of these articles I see most ppl were able to get over there addiction through some type of help from somebody. I'm not looking to get in a relationship just to get over my addiction, it would feel much more rewarding if I could solve my addiction myself.

Going through my reboot process I learned to not be on apps that would induce sexual arousal. Working out helps my brain get another type of dopamine. Hooking up during the reboot process will definitely backfire because of the chaser effect and not having my laptop anymore gets rid of temptation all together. But what stumps me every time is the urge to get off or the urge for dopamine! I always take a peak when ever I use my schools computer for hw (Cause I have to) and then I just relapse there (luckily its private computers but still really bad). I know I will never give up on this because I know I can reach it I just want to be able to beat it already! I also know I'm gonna fail sometimes because Im human but I feel as though I'm not going anywhere its just like 2 weeks then relapse 2 weeks then relapse barely 2 weeks than relapse. >:/

So this is a long post. So grab a drink, kick back and relax. I have had the urge over the past few days to share my story, in the hope that it may help someone who needs tips or just some encouragement from someone in the same struggle. This is an account of my journey so far.

So I started watching porn and masturbating when I was 12 years old, and unfortunately for me, I started off with just my hand and no lubricant, which eventually caught up with me. I was a compulsive porn watcher and masturbator for ten years, just hacking away at the most crucial period of time in any male's life-puberty. I really didn't think there were any harms or negative effects of porn usage and masturbation till I turned 22...then logic finally kicked in.

At around age 20, I had my first encounter with PE, and freaked the hell out. Then problems with keeping it up came up. I was in a long term relationship at the time, and just thank God that I had an understanding girlfriend. Neither she nor anyone else knew about my porn and masturbation problem, and I did not open up to anyone out of shame and guilt

At 22, I only BEGAN to realize I had a problem when I noticed that my head was perpetually filled with porn and sex. I was obsessed with it, couldn't seem to connect with real life females like I used to, and my fears of PE and ED haunted me. At work all I thought about was sex, what scene I would wank off to, and what new category fascinated me to research later on at home. I got more interested in my hardcore genres of porn, and didn't see anything wrong with it. In march of 2015 (post-relationship), I hooked up with a woman over craigslist, all the while convincing myself that I knew enough about BDSM to "act" as her "slave"....what a terrible experience that was. Then I knew for sure that I was not thinking normally. I researched stories about porn addiction and its physiological effects and was surprised to find so many other males experiencing the same thing. There were so many search results that I felt some level of encouragement knowing that I was not alone. I found hope in reading about Kirk Franklin's battle with porn addiction and his success story (which was made widely public) and sites like YBOP and "Feed the right wolf." Then my journey began...

I reasoned that it would be wise to first read up on what exactly i was experiencing and understand what physiological and psychological effects porn had had on me. I was shocked to find a pdf which documented a hearing by the US senate of Judith Reisman, an academic and author, on the effects of porn usage on the mind. I have included a link here ( http://www.ccv.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Judith_Reisman_Senate_Test...) for anyone who is thinking about doing a reboot or is skeptical about whether there are negative effects of porn or not. This article was mind opening and I recommend it to anyone who's in the struggle like we all are!

So I read as much as I could on YBOP and feed the right wolf, and decided to do a reboot. What really stuck to me was the quote by socrates on the home page of YBOP..." The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." I took that very seriously. I knew from my fight with quitting smoking that: (1) It is just as possible to break a habit as it is to pick it up, and (2) It is always easier to substitute a bad habit with a good one. I decided to work on my body, feed my mind and improve my faith. I crafted a comprehensive plan and thought I was ready for the impending doom of the flatline, but boy was I not! That time was miserable. I felt so detached from the world, like I was in a corner in a cold room with no motivation to do anything. I felt so drained and lackluster that I was convinced I was going through hell. But just as there is a night, there is also day. More on this later.

My plan was two-fold, tear down the bad and build the good. Tearing down the bad consisted of:
1. Deleting my stash of porn
2. Deleting my second email which I used for live cams, and craigslist shenanigans
3. Total abstinence from porn
4. Total abstinence from masturbating for as long as I could
5. Abstinence from fanaticizing, especially about hot chicks on social media or the internet
6. Reducing sex talk as best as I could

I included "TOTAL abstinence from masturbating" because I reasoned that letting my body heal was just as important as letting my mind heal. Also, since porn usage was so intertwined with masturbating, I didn't want to put myself in a situation where I would be fantasizing while masturbating.

My "build up" plan included:
1. Working on my faith. For me that meant praying and meditating.
2. Feeding my mind the right things, which included reading books, listening to motivational speeches, and consciously making myself more positive
3. Exercise, especially cardio and dead lifts. This is good for your circulation and your testosterone levels respectively.
4. Eating healthy. In order to get the blood pumping down there as it should, don't clog up those arteries. No smoking and no junk food. Eating aphrodisiac foods really helped me, such as dark chocolate (82% cocoa or more), green leafy veggies, fruits (all of them), nuts (all of them), red wine, fatty fish and all seafood and oatmeal.
5. Reconnecting with things that once gave me fulfillment, but became shadowed by my porn usage. For me it was drawing and art. For others, it may be hiking, kayaking or whatever hobby they once had.
6. Consciously improving my social skills. I noticed I had to relearn many things about the art of conversation, body language and being social again, especially with girls.
7. Enjoying everyday things, such as cooking, spending time with family, a good book, discovering new music, reconnecting with old friends...it could really be anything, just as long as you are totally present in the moment and not caught up in your thoughts. Fully invest yourself in what is going on now and you will notice you have a fuller experience in all you do.
8. Reminding myself of why I was doing a reboot. That no matter what temptation to watch porn arose, I would not give in. The long term reward is worth MUCH more that whatever short term reward I would get.

The amount of effort required to build up the new is greater than that required to tear down the old. It requires a lot of determination, discipline and effort. It is hard but it is POSSIBLE, not to mention WORTH IT! I want to also stress staving off masturbation as long as possible, to regain your sexual energy and let your body heal. This energy could tempt you to look at porn and masturbate for some kind of release but I would advise against that. It is wiser to channel that energy into something productive such as working out or feeding your mind, and you will see the benefits for yourself.

Something that also worked for me, in conjunction with meditation, was breathing exercises. When I felt that I just couldn't focus on anything, especially during my flatline, that really helped to calm me down and have more control over my body and restless energy.
I also started using Man1 man oil. What I love about this product was not only does it heal your skin but it improves blood flow. For other guys, like myself, who masturbated multiple times a day or without lubricant, this will help. I have read reviews that this doesn't work for everyone, but it is definitely worth the try. If it does you will be very pleased. Actual sex helped boost my confidence in bed, and I think it would help others too. Seeing yourself perform better than usual is a good boost to keep you on your path, especially if you suffer(ed) from PIED, and keep you dedicated to the objective at hand.

After getting past my flatline, I noticed that I got back regular erections and they were harder than they had ever been. So hard that they sometimes kept me up at night. My erections also came very unconsciously, and sometimes unwantedly. I took this as a sign that I was making progress and didn't mind, because I knew that even though I may be up at night because I felt like my penis would explode, I was healing and regaining my sexual energy/libido. I was regaining focus, becoming more present in the moment, connecting with people like never before, becoming more motivated/ ambitious, and developing a more positive perspective on life and more outgoing. At about 40 days without masturbation or porn, I masturbated and it was the best orgasm I probably every had. I realized I had been masturbating wrong my whole life! A lot of liquid based lube and a light grasp is all you need. No more of that Darth Vader chokehold, but a sensual touch.
I cannot stress how beneficial this reboot is, and what a transformation it has been! I feel like a new person, and am more confident than ever. The urge to watch porn is basically gone, but I still struggle with fantasizing. I'm trying to get some more control on that and I would recommend that to everyone. I want to especially thank YBOP for this amazing resource, I am sure it has touched millions of lives, including mine.

Final words:
1. Keep going
2. Don't stop or settle for what you are trying to leave.
3. The long term benefits far supercede the short term high of relapsing
4. Keep the faith that you will overcome whatever stands in your way!

KB4

Hey guys,

I needed to get this off my chest once and for all. I hope it will resonate with some of you who probably went through similar experiences as a result of serious serious pmo addiction. I'm a 33 y.o straight male and this is day 13 pmo free. My goal is pmo free for 60 days. I will try my best to keep the story short but I also need to paint the picture for you and I’m telling you a life story worth 26 years of events that place summarized in 4 pages only so please bear with me. Who knows my agony might resonate with you so much that we get in touch and conquer together, it’s a win-win. I look forward to those who suffered like me and I want to learn from your experiences and read your stories as well. I also would like to know what gave you hope to drastically change 180 degrees like I have so I could improve and in turn share my input with you. Anyway here goes.

Part 1: Childhood and Highschool

Before I ever knew porn existed I would look at women right left and center and masturbate. Sometimes I would masturbate to my teachers in highschool inside the classroom because they had their high heels off, cross legged and the scenery blew my mind away. I guess I’ve always had a foot fetish but I adored women. While waiting for the school bus to arrive I would kill time by peaking inside cars as they pass by to see if women inside were wearing miniskirts to look at their legs and thighs, etc. At 16 I got hooked on pmo, 17 years ago. Things started spiraling downwards since. I’ve lost my best childhood friends and that was very painful for me, to this day. Keep in mind I was sexually molested when I was 7 by my older cousin, he was 9, but might as well felt he was 15 as he was very overpowering and as if he frikken reached puberty right when he was born. Nothing major took place except he lied on top of me I still remember vividly and placed his dry lip on top of my dry lip for a minute and then I bit his lip and he was bleeding, done. Then within less than a year a pervert guy was sitting in public while I was playing with the kids outside and he flashed his tool to me and was playing with it and told me touch it, I didn’t and then I left. When I turned 13 that same cousin of mine taught me and introduced to me fellatio and because I loved him as a cousin and trusted him I fell under his web and we did mutual fellatio but that was it. It didn’t affect my heterosexuality. I still had friends and I was a macho guy at highschool and used to bully the bullies who messed with the timid guys. I was like a marshal or the one who puts things in order. I’ve developed a unique personality in highschool, most likely the byproduct of my sexual molestation at age 7 and due to the emotional complex I was suffering I’m assuming where I was fearless and nobody messed with me and I commanded respect from any guy any grade. Moving on..

Part 2: University

In college I had a successful journey both academically and women wise. By college I had put everything behind as if nothing happened, that chapter was closed permanently. I still had a problem with pmo ofcourse but I was highly active function pmo user. Mind you later I came to realize how pmo had taken from me without realizing. Will get to it. So I had a long term relationship with a gorgeous blue eyed blonde and she fulfilled my every sexual fantasy of mine and I was without a doubt 100% sure of my heterosexuality. But I only had one best male friend and her but that was all I needed and I felt I had the world and what’s in it. I was highly sociable yet solitary (that’s what pmo did to me, this is years of analysis). I was highly sexual yet had a quick brain and the looks to open doors for me anytime anywhere. So while I thought I had things under control from over usage of pmo I was actually drowning without realizing and I fell into the traps of pmo illusion that it was a great asset for me and didn’t interfere with my productivity. Senior year arrives and I’m at the verge of graduating, 2005. It then hits me. I wake up from my fantasy as I had to prepare from the real world, a job and a career and no more excess free time like in college days, now it’s an everyday 8-5pm routine and I have to be mentally sharp everyday. The brain fog took over. I became between jobs and lost a total of 4 jobs. How I lost them? Addiction to pmo and pmo’ing right before going to bed and waking up mentally and physically drained and couldn’t keep a straight face at work. It hit me that I didn’t have friends but one best friend and he was busy all the time so that left me with nothing. It hit me harder when I broke up with my gf after graduation from college because she was my only real dopamine provider and so I lost her as well, leaving with zero people in my life for any type of moral support. PMO had won. When I lost her and was unemployed then lost my best friend due to his busy schedule and me losing face to him due to pmo addiction I became desperate for dopamine. Now the turning point..

Part 3: Graduation in 2005 and the events from Grad. Until 2007

PMO escalated from straight porn to gay to transsexual genres. I started acting on my new porn themes and fantasies and desperate for dopamine .I started fucking anything I can get my hand on. I fucked so many escort girls from craigslist I lost count. Then I fucked two transsexual escorts. Then I started fucking guys. Then I started picking up random escort girls from the streets and having sex with them in the car. Then I’d hit fetish clubs to indulge in my foot fetish thing.Then I grew tired from all this, as it wasn’t doing it for me. I needed more dopamine. So once I was cruising in my car looking for hookers and I stumbled on this funky looking building that everything about it looked wrong. Parked my car. Saw a guy coming out and I asked him what’s inside and he hesitantly said, a gay bathhouse. My dopamine rpms revved up so high as if it was something I never knew even existed let alone gay so the anxiety and anticipation for more dopamine took over me and I entered. I engaged in mutual fellatio with guys, I was what is called top only..this took place in year 2006. Then I was introduced to poppers and that further heightened my sexual experiences. So then I made a sex membership with a fancy swingers club and would have sex with couples or the bf would be watching me fuck his girl or a sandwich. Then I started going to strip clubs. I had such dopamine-related pmo and sex addiction that I would visit all three places: swingers club, bathhouse, and strip club and rotate between the 3 all in one day. I’m sure by now your heart is racing reading all this. So take a deep breath have a sip of water and get ready for next:

By 2007, I went broke, remember I was unemployed when I was going on this sexual frenzy of mine from 2005-2007. So I move to the state my family lives in and go cold turkey. Had to see a psychiatrist and went on pills and now I was slowly coming back to my senses Literally had lost it. I start doing kick boxing and lift weights and I’m strong again physically. But I lost 4 jobs again, I wouldn’t last for more than 5 months tops, ofcourse due to pmo . Mind you by that time I still didn’t know that pmo was the root cause of my destruction, oh my God how blind was I. Anyway, I finally started to shine, jobs wise - doing freelancing consultation work for many companies. But still I had no real job and the money obviously was not constant.

Part 4: 2008-2011 The light at the end of the tunnel

So in 2008 I started keeping track of my pmo and doing marathon and lifting weights. I fell in love with a girl and for one year we were in a relationship. Every year I grew stronger and my confidence went up. Mind you I still didn’t have friends. I was only relying on my creative mind and consulting and my workout. Tough life eh, no friends, I must be a superman or something. No I’m not, just a pmo victim trying to survive.

Finally, by 2011, I had managed to run several marathons, built a healthy portfolio of many hours of consultation while freelancing with other companies, secured enough recommendation letters from different companies, got so many proposals to work full time but declined those offers because I worked better as a freelancer and alone, lifted heavier weights and dropped 16 lbs, I was the leanest in my life with a muscular body and same weight when I was in highschool 11 years earlier, re-solidifed my heterosexuality – I was reborn and ready for a real job!

Part 5: 2011-now

For the first time in my life I keep a real job this long. I did it all by myself guys and no one friend gave me a push because I had none. It was my will power, confidence in my capabilities and resilience that paid off. From 2011-2013 I fell in love again with a girl and had embarked on a love journey like no other. For the first time I felt happy. The best part was that I loved her not just sexually but wholeheartedly and changed bad habits about myself for her. PMO never left the building by the way but it was under control. But you could say at least the major dopamine was coming from bonding with her and making love to her. But the downside was that I was very solitary and not sociable outside work, and that was due to pmo in general, the residual effects from 17 years of pmo changed me from someone before pmo who was extremely social and had a big group of male friends to a loner. I was blessed with a beautiful brain and looks that getting any girl was like a breeze to me. But making normal human connections and having friends was out of the question because pmo consumed my energies and my spare time. I’ve had gazillion proposals to hangout but I always turned them down. Going back to my gf, she is a happy person and full of joy and I am complex with my emotional roller coasters from past traumas and broken life as you read above so I couldn’t indulge her much as far as socializing and having mutual friends and she felt trapped in my solitary world which radiated pessimism and depression maybe to her as she is social and I always turned down her friends or meeting anybody she knew, she couldn’t take it any longer and she left me. Again I was abandoned. The cycle repeats itself again and I find myself with nobody in my life again and so what happens, I relapse way worse than before.

Part 6: Worst Relapse and noFap

So since my breakup and for the last two years my pmo worsens and I start viewing transsexual and gay porn again and it worsens again. I lose the grip I had on myself and over pmo usage and the addiction comes back to haunt me. So the past two years I go through another sexual frenzy and have sex with so many girls I lost count, to forget the pain and void I was left with from the breakup. Then ED kicks in and I grow tired from pmo and girls again and search for other means of sexual stimulation to fill up my desperate dopamine cravings. Mind you this time I’m experienced and so I manage to balance work and sexual frenzy. So finally last year and out of desperation and excessive use of pmo I search for anything I haven’t tried. And that only thing was a red line I vowed to myself never to cross because I felt it defined my heterosexuality- getting bottomed, and I went ahead and did it last year for the first time in my life. I was on poppers and my use of poppers since had worsened and I couldn’t be with a guy without it, as it released my inhibitions, and if I didn’t have I wouldn’t be turned on whatsoever and couldn’t stand being around a guy. Ofcourse I was back at the bathhouse scene and would go like 3 times a year or so, use poppers and few times I bottomed. After that I did it for several times after but it was always brief and never went over couple minutes and I would climax immediately as while in the process of penetration I’m hating myself and wondering what the hell am I doing. And so crossing this red line of mine was the ultimate breaker, it shattered my heterosexuality and my sexual identity, I felt like I’ve lost my integrity, anxiety heightened, isolation became more inevitable than ever, I started masturbating to gay porn even more and fantasizing about it when I masturbate. I felt disgusted and ashamed of myself. I started getting sudden odd urges that I never had in my life of wanting to take poppers and get penetrated and for the first time this interfered with my work and I missed a day because of this shit anxiety and that’s when I googled and found noFap and so far I never looked back.

This is day 13 pmo free and goal is 60 days. I’ve religiously since day 1 started reading YBOP and noFap success stories and the emergency button from app every single day and have noFap buddies on chat that I keep in touch every day. I finally figured out that it was pmo and living in a fantasy world that ruined my life, it took me 17 years to realize this, I always thought for some strange reason as if hypnotized by the devil himself that pmo is my lifestyle just like breathing. It wasn’t until I found noFap and YBOP and read how pmo affects your brain and read stories of guys acting on their sexual fantasies that don’t align with their orientation that I knew it was actually pmo all along that destroyed my life.

The good news is it hasn’t been nearly 2 weeks that I’m bulking up already and hitting the gym. In general, eye contact and focus at work has increased. Not to mention couple days ago I had a 4-hour session of intense making love session to a girl (it was sex but so intense that we both felt we made love to one another as we bonded in ways words cannot describe) and I have never been hard like this for years, and I’ve had problems where I’m hard but head is soft but not this time guys, and I’ve done positions Ive never done in my life either while still maintaining a rock hard erection, and I had 4 intense orgasms and the first one was so intense that my tool and its head was so sensitive to the touch afterwards, last time it was like this I was in highschool, and I’m 33 now. So that showed me what I’ve been missing over the past years because I’ve been a slave to Pmo and living in a fake fantasy world. Nothing and absolutely nothing replaces the real thing God intended for us guys.

The bad news which all of us are suffering from are the nasty withdrawal symptoms. I feel empty and without a hope. I know my cup is filling up slowly and my brain is heeling everyday. I do meditate, write, self-talk and exercise. I try to be more social at work even. But what I cannot digest is where pmo has taken me with guys and me losing my virginity to a guy is earth shattering when I know since I was born and all I ever masturbated over or stared at were women. How did I become so damn desensitized? How did I let pmo drag me this far? The idea of being attracted to a guy whether physically or emotionally is repulsive. The only thing I was attracted to while pmo’ing was large tools because obviously porn revolves around it. I never ever had an erection around a guy in my life nor have I ever kissed a guy and the thought of it makes me puke.

Erections always happened around girls. How did things go so far? This girl I met lives a continent away. I’m trying to bring her to the state I live in or find her a job because with her felt I was back to my heterosexual self. At least she can be my bridge to my next milestone.But since even it would happen it would be god knows maybe several months from now or a year. That leaves me having to live with myself knowing that I’ve committed the ultimate abuse to myself of having done it with a guy even if it was brief it involved penetration period. Will I be able to feel the dominant straight male I was once? I mean PMO hijacked everything from me I used to play soccer go out socialize not mind being center of attention and can handle it love adventures outdoor stuff fishing I mean it just numbed all that and took over, its crazy guys. I wanna be the spontaneous confident straight male I used to be instead of regulating myself and having my guard up at all times for fear of showing signs of I don’t know what to call it, weakness or gayness or whatever crap you wanna call it. Will I reclaim my true self away from the pmo brain fog? Will I reclaim my heterosexuality purely and never look back literally? Or will my sexual identity be shattered for life?

That I leave to you guys for your generous thoughtful feedback and your sharing of similar stories so we can assure these porn industries will go bankrupt one day as we are no longer their slaves. Thank you so much for those who took the time to read every word and reflect on what I wrote and empathize. Without noFap and YBOP I would have never been able to be awakened and realize that pmo had literally destroyed the best of my life and now I’m picking up the pieces.

Peace

My signature: “Dear Porn Industry: Thank you and I promise. That's all the credit you get. I will not tell you that I've lived in hell because I'm still here and alive and you are yet to know what real hell is. So you will never get the satisfaction of knowing the effects your industry had on me. But what I will tell you is that I'm your slave no longer. I'm smashing the chains of iron you've kept me under for so many years. I want to tell you I'm a free man. Free to worship and free to love and free to live reality as God intended. You, the porn industry makers, wrecked millions of souls, women and men alike, destroyed marriages, innocent children and deviated even the strongest men from their natural birth right to be attracted to women only and see women as mothers of future men as opposed to sex objects, all by injecting your immoral digital porn filth and poison fueled by your master, the devil himself. You will be held accountable and will pay dearly. What did you think you will get away with it? Thank you and I promise you the real hell that you will fry in, my master's hell, God's hell in the after life!”

Now, you need to be patient and keep going. You could be seeing improvements for years. 60 days won't show you the whole story.

If ever you masturbate, do it without porn. And figure out your right schedule. It may be less frequent than your urges tell you. Men: Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause A Hangover?

Did you read this page? Are Sexual Tastes Immutable?

The things that help the most are exercise, meditation, time in nature, socializing and beneficial stressors like cold showers: http://yourbrainonporn.com/cold-showers

Inspiration: Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression worse?

I know I'm fighting a long battle. But to be equipped you need a weapon. Thank you YBOP and thank you noFap for the wealth of knowledge. Knowledge is power.
Peace

then I'm assuming my case is the worst case scenario. I hope my experiences never happen to anyone yet again I hope someone had anything similar so I could learn from you what you did to overcome it. Thanks and hope to hear from someone

hey guys, so i have come to a sudden realization of why i have PIED, i stumbled on this website 45 days ago and like everyone on here everything made sense. i remember actually 47 days ago, i was furious with my cock, why the hell isnt it working i was wondering. 57 days ago i read that maybe its an oxygen deficiency. so i started taking nitric oxide boosters and eating a lot of berries + pomegranates. keep in mind please. i was never addicted to porn but i liked to jerk off. it was a good time waster. additionally i knew that porn is not good for the consciousness but i did it anyways, like smoking, loaking and drinking till i threw up. point is i found this dope ass site, and started to question my existence. i really do feel empathetic with everyone and i hope everyone succeeds. anwyays point of this comment is i feel like i should add to the ybop database off reasons why pied might happen. last year during the spring semester i started taking straterra, one of the side effects was temporary ed, and i would leak come when im active. point is. towards the end of the semester i started taking modafinil 200mg + strattera + caffine + smoking tobacco from a pipe. i was a fucking stimulant junkie. i was fucking my studies like i fuck my bitches. occasionally i would be in this super focused state , and euphoric. i was on cocaine * 12. haha, anyways i would watch porn between study breaks and take a quick wank. blablalbla time goes by, i finish exams blablabla i stopped wanking and watching porn as much as i used to. but i started to realize that my dick was acting all weird on me. as if i took a gram of mdma or something. it was all shriveled up inside of me like a fucking junkie. i ignored it, time passes by im horny again and i realize my dick is smaller. hmmm i say, ignore it since im not getting laid anytime soon. blablabla about 3 months ago i started tripping damnnnn, its been like 5 months i havent seen jimmy in the morning blablabla, paranio kicks in, i start thinking its an std, or i broke it or whatever, i find this site and i do the reboot and everything is going better. today i was supppppeeeer horny af. i took a super quick wank to my sensation. man i feel so relaxed again. anyways. the link here is. staraterra + modafinil + coffee = super focus. super focus + porn = peid. it makes sense from a biological perspective, mainly because this combination of the stimulants increases the plasticity of the brain. Obviously with such a large number of chemicals bombarding dopamine receptors which in turn create new neural networks will greatly increase the chances of peid. good luck and good luck.

gangsta

Hi Everyone :D,

Going to keep this short and sharp as I don't want to bombard you with details. I have provided links below so you can do your own research - I hope it helps :D .

1. I am now on 1+ Year without Porn/masturbation.

2. I did this through fasting (Traditional Islamic fasting techniques)and this made this easy for me.

3.I have now become a practicing Muslim because of how much this has helped me and how much peace and happiness it has brought in to my life.

Please read links below and give it a try, brothers and sisters. I pray and wish this article touches even just one person and helps them the way it has helped me.

LINKS:
1. Fast to reduce sexual desires as per Islamic teachings.
http://www.islamweb.net/en/article/159868/diminishing-sexual-desire-by-f...
Ibn Mas‘ood said that he and others were there when the Prophet (PBUH) said: “O young people, whoever of you can afford marriage should marry because it is more (conducive to) lowering the gaze and more protective of the private parts; and whoever is not able to marry should fast, because fasting diminishes his sexual desire.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

2. Benefits of lowering gaze:
http://www.iupui.edu/~msaiupui/gaze.html

3. Marriage benefits:
http://www.inter-islam.org/Lifestyle/marry.htm

4. How to fast (outside Ramadaam) - THIS WAS AN AMAZING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE FOR ME!!!
http://www.answering-christianity.com/prophet_muhammad_addicted_to_prayi...

God Bless.

TheAkh :D xxxxx

TheAkh

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