33 yosh - DE, ijtimoiy tashvish, o'z-o'ziga nafrat yo'qoldi, hayotni sevadi

Men 90 kunlik sinovni tugatdim! Men o'zim haqimda bilim olganman va bu tajribadan yaxshi odam bo'ldimmi? Ha, lekin nima sababdan o'yladim. Menga tushuntirishga ruxsat bering. Men 33 va o'n yildan ko'proq vaqtdan beri PMO odat tusiga kirganman.

Bu erda ko'pchilik singari internetda o'sganman va "hacker turi" sifatida men axborot guruhlari, er osti bloklari, 4Chan (tozalagandan oldin), TOR va tartibga solinmagan kontentni osonlashtiradigan boshqa umumiy bo'lmagan xizmatlar bilan hayratga tushdim. kel. Mening ko'rish odatlarim ko'proq fohisha bo'lib qoldi, shuning uchun yalang'och ayol meni uyg'otmadi - bu meni tashlab ketish uchun haddan ortiq shokka tushdi. PMO mashg'ulotidan so'ng o'zimning his-tuyg'ularimga qaytaman va o'zimdan nafratlanaman. Men shunday deb o'ylardim: "Men hech qachon bunday turdagi jinsiy hayotga ega bo'lishni istamayman, nima uchun men bu ishga kirish uchun foydalanishim kerak? Men buzdingizmi? "

Mening giyohvandligim davrida hayotim insonning qobig'i edi. Ko'p yillar davomida men o'zim yashaganman, shuning uchun PMO to'shagidan oldin har kuni odat edi. Bu "tabiiy", deb o'ylayman - bu men o'zimni kichikroq bo'lganimda o'zimni aybdor deb bildim. Lekin bu hammasi ego edi, va aslida men o'zimni va boshqalarni, hatto NoFap kabi anonim onlayn forumda ham tan olishni istamagan narsalarimni bezovta qiluvchi tasvirlarni ko'rib chiqqanimdan ruhiy zarar ko'rgan edim. Oilam va do'stlarimdan ajralib qoldim, bu dunyoda bo'lgani kabi o'zimni his qildim. Depressiya bilan yashadim va Fapping mening yagona dopamin tuzatishim edi.

Hech bir ayol, shirin yoki yaxshi bo'lishidan qat'iy nazar, mening devchan istaklarimni bajara olmasligini bilib, yashirincha qo'rqib ketgan ayol do'stiga noqulay his qildim. Men "yaxshi qiz" ga loyiq emasman, aksincha men har doim "bezovtalanib qolgan qizni qutqazadigan" oq shiorni o'ynash uchun o'zimdan iste'foga chiqdim va o'z harakatim uchun ko'p qisqa muddatli (muvaffaqiyatsiz) munosabatlarga ega bo'ldim. Ruhiy og'riq hislari kompaniya kabi qidirmoqdalar. Men ijtimoiy jihatdan noqulay va tashvishga tushganim sababli bir necha ijtimoiy munosabatlarga salbiy ta'sir ko'rsatdi. Shundan keyin men aqlimni tuzgan edim: bu men emasman.

Men hayotning boshqa yo'lini topishim kerak edi va men RedFoodning xushmuomalali foydalanuvchisi sifatida NoFapdan xabardor bo'ldim, ammo PMOdan voz kechish haqiqiy hayot o'zgarishiga olib keladi deb o'ylayman. Biroq, o'zimning PMO-dan foydalanishimdan kelib chiqadigan muammolar haqida o'zimning salbiy fikrlarni aniqladim, shuning uchun men o'zim ustida ishlashimning bir qismi sifatida NoFap ni sinab ko'rishga qaror qildim. Men bolaga hayron bo'ldim ...

Men birinchi bir necha kundan keyin chinakamiga voz kechishga qaror qilgandim. Mening to'plarim ozodlikka chiqarilgandek tuyg'usi bilan yondi. Men hatto arzimas teginish jismonan og'riqli bo'lgani uchun orqa yotishim kerak edi. Doimiy istagi bor edi va men birinchi haftada mamnun edim - bu meni yanada ko'proq dopaminning tanaga rad etilishining natijasi ekanligiga ishontirdi. Men birinchi marta urinishim bilan uni 32 kunlik qildim. O'sha davrda boshqalar tomonidan aytib o'tilgan "ulkan kuch" larning ko'pchiligini payqadim. 1 haftalik nishonidan keyin bir necha marta takrorladim, lekin bu safar men o'zimni 90 kunlik marosimning boshlanishi uchun faxrlanaman. Birinchi bir necha hafta o'tgach, undan voz kechish osonroq bo'ladi. Yo'q, hech qachon vazmin bo'lma - bu oson ish emas. Lekin bunga arziydi!

O'zim uchun tajribali "ulkan kuchlar":

  • Ijtimoiy tashvishga tushib qolish - NoFapdan oldin Xanaxni yoki boshqa dori-darmonlarni olishning iloji bor edi, bu menga ko'proq ijtimoiy yordam berishga yordam berdi. Dam olish kunlarida men PMO bingesida uyimda "yashirinaman". Men tashqariga chiqqach, o'zimning sirimni bilganim kabi yashirincha yolg'iz qolishni xohlardim. Endi? Bir necha oy oldin 180-ning qaytishi - do'stlarim bilan plyajga / kinolarga / raqsga va boshqalarga sayohat qilish - hazil va hazil qilish.
  • Ishonchliroq - Agar kimdir tasodifan uni xafa qilsa, o'z fikrimni bildirishdan qochishdan oldin. Men odamlar bilan o'zaro munosabatlarda rostgo'y emas edim, chunki ular doim menga yoqishi uchun ular bilan kelishgan bo'lar edim. Endi? Men joylarda ishonchli yuraman, erkaklar va ayollar bilan ko'z bilan aloqa qilaman, chuqurroq ovoz va kundalik harakatlarimdagi osonlik. Men endi o'zimning fikrim va harakatlarim boshqa biron bir odamga qaraganda dolzarb / muhimroq (yoki ko'proq) kabi his qilyapman - o'zimga bo'lgan ishonch yillar davomida bo'lmaganiga o'xshaydi.
  • Sog'lom munosabat - men yaxshi tomoshabinman va yaxshi pul sarflayapman, lekin men doimo bunday beta-versiyaga aylangan nosog'lom munosabatlarga boraman. Men hatto fohishalarni ham, faqat munosabatlarning yomonlashuvisiz (o'zimni noloyiq deb hisoblaganimdan) xushyoqishni qabul qilish uchun qabul qildim. Endi? 3 oylik NoFap oyidan keyin (dastlabki bir necha oy ichida bir necha marta qayta tiklana boshladim), keyinchalik bir qiz bilan tanishdim. Uni ko'rganimda rozetim 2 kuni edi - lekin men bu shikastlangan odatni buzishga harakat qilaman, deb qaror qildim. Odatda pornografiya uchun vaqt sarflayman, keyin PMO o'rniga bu qizni eslatib turardim. 90 kundan keyin u men bilan birga yashaydi va biz nikoh / bolalar haqida gapiramiz.
  • Jinsiy turg'unlik - PYD yillaridayoq men jinsiy aloqada normal orgazmni ro'yobga chiqaradigan tabiiy jinsiy talablarni bilmagan holda bilib oldim. Men qattiq harakat qilardim, lekin SH (jinsiy aloqani kechiktirdi), ya'ni jinsiy aloqada bo'lishdan uyalgan joyga borib, bir ayol bilan birga bo'la olmasdim. Endi? Turmush o'rtog'i bilan do'st bo'lish juda qiyin kechdi, lekin u men bilan sevib, sabr-toqatli edi - men o'zim bilan emasman. Mening ham DE juda yaxshi va kechikish texnikasi endi orgazmini bir necha marta qilish uchun ishlatiladi. Mening shahvoniy istagimimning hozirgi kuni to'g'ri chiqishi bor va men keyinchalik aybdor his etmasdan tug'ilishim uchun tug'ilgan jinsiy maxluq bo'lishni juda yaxshi his qilyapman.
  • Sog'lom fikrlar - men o'zimni yomon ko'raman. Men o'z fikrimni kamsitib qo'yardim. O'z joniga qasd qildim. Men abadiy uxlashimni istardim. Endi? Men hayotni yaxshi ko'raman. Aynan shu hayot (bir xil ish, bir xil mashina, bir xil muammolar), lekin mening hayotimdagi odamlar va yangi sharoitlar uyg'otgani meni hayajonga soladi. Depressiya dahshatli narsa va aqlingiz haqiqatdan ham haqiqatingni yaratadi. Sog'lom aql = sog'lom hayot. Nosog'lom aql = nosog'lom hayot.

*TL / doktor: NoFap, men o'zimni qanday ko'rganimni o'zgartirdi. Menga g'ururlanadigan narsa berildi. Bu menga o'z-o'zini tarbiyalashni o'rgatdi. Bu meni avvalgidan ko'ra yaxshiroq qildi. *

Ushbu sub-reddit-dagi postlaringiz uchun barchangizga rahmat, men yolg'iz emasligimni bilish juda yaxshi. PMO'siz hayot haqiqatan ham yaxshilanadi va bir kun kelib nima uchun bunday deyishimni tushunasiz / ishonasiz (hattoki o'zingizni hozir ham shunday his qilmasangiz ham). Umid qilamanki, men hech bo'lmaganda bir kishini qiyinchiliklarga sodiq qolish va hayotini o'zgartirish uchun ilhomlantira olaman - o'zgarishga tayyor bo'lganimda xuddi shu tarzda ilhomlanganman.

90 kun yaxshi hayot uchun! PMO ning o'zini-o'zi suiiste'mol qilish o'n yilligida kurash va zafar hikoyam 

by kepek 90 kun



180 KUNNI GÜNLADI

Assalomu alaykum sayohatchilar, men o'zimning "yangi normal" holatimni yangilashni va o'zimni rivojlantirish sayohatida bo'lganlar uchun bir necha so'zlarni aytmoqchi edim. Bugun PMOdan qochganimning 180-kunim. Men 33 yoshdaman va o'tmishdagi pornografik odatimni ko'rib, qancha vaqtni behuda o'tkazganimdan uyalaman.<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“></p><p>PMO was a habit for me, one where I would spend 2 to 4 hours a night searching for “just the right video” that was bizarre or degrading enough for my mind to feel satisfied. Like any habit the amount and intensity of the required material escalated to unhealthy levels. I was a slave to my mind. I rationalized away my self-destructive behavior, excusing myself again and again, all while feeling weak to my own urges. I viewed women as sexual beings only, and secretly hated myself and felt unworthy of love. If this is also your story fellow Fapstronaught… take heed: there is hope.</p><p>After finding out about NoFap (from 4chan of all places) I read up and watched the Your Brain On Porn videos. I then understood that part of my problem was willpower… the other part was addiction. When I understood my behavior as an addiction like any other (to cigarettes, drugs, etc) I resolved to take control of my life and wrestle my mind free from its addicted state.</p><p>It was not easy at first. I had physical pains and withdrawal symptoms in the fist week. There was a literal burning sensation in my groin that wanted release. I stuck with it. I relapsed a few times but now, after relapsing I understood that it was like a smoker wanting for “one more cigarette” – and I forgave myself. I saw my body as acting separate from my true desire and made peace with myself that although the flesh is week, my spirit was willing. I did not give up, and neither should you.</p><p>I started on “hard mode” (no gf) but after a few weeks I met this new and amazing girl who will become my wife in a few months (we are engaged!). It was difficult to transition into a relationship as years of self abuse using porn had desensitized me sexually with DE as well as mentally. There was a period of resetting to my “new normal” which is what I now live everyday. Here are some things I now enjoy that I did not before:</p><ul><li>Improved mental clarity – there is a mental fog that used to follow me around blurring and dulling my sight and other senses. I feel more alert and sensitive to the world now.</li><li>More productive time – I used to have a routine of coming home from work, eating food then spending the rest of the night torrenting porn or searching for the “right video” to get me off. Now, I have my fiancee with me in the evenings to talk to, to cook together, to play with the dog, to enjoy our time instead of waste it.</li><li>Self esteem – I used to avoid social situations and even going out with friends as my anxiety worsened. This social anxiety was rooted in feelings of unworthiness. I did not feel I had anything useful to contribute to conversations and my presence was a burden to others. Not anymore. I speak from my heart and am bold in my actions – I have re-discovered the man I was years ago.</li><li>More in control of emotions and life – Before I would feel like I had little control of my daily life and that my insular routine was keeping me “safe” – in fact my sheltered existence was wasting my life away in a daily grind that only served to fulfill my base animal desires (eat, sex, sleep). I have broken that cycle and you can too. Through meditation I now have more control over how I think and feel and use that control to choose positive things to dwell on. You are your own worst critic… learn to forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself… weaknesses and all.</li></ul><p>I hope others in this sub reddit stay on course and benefit themselves the way I did. I used NoFap as a starting point to bettering myself and my life. I have leaned that no one is a lost cause and we are all able to be better people. NoFap gives you a sense of self-pride which will carry over into other aspects of your daily life. Other people will notice a difference in your posture, attitude, mood and energy level.</p><p>My “success story” is just one of many. This 90 day challenge is a beneficial teaching tool – it teaches you about yourself. Learn your body. Learn your mind. When you do, you will figure out how to “hack your brain” and divert your negative energy into something more useful. Do it for yourself. Do it for others that are important in your life. You are worth it.</p><p>Peace.</p><p><strong>LINK – <a href=90 kun ikki baravar = 180 kun yangi hayot kechirish (self.NoFap)

by kepek