Vanilla sex is OUT, porn addiction is IN: Disturbing survey reveals how porn is damaging our relationships

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  • 70% of men aged 18-34 admitting to using porn at least once a month

    Leading sex and relationship experts find men suffer performance anxiety because of ‘impressive’ feats in porn

  • Women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform’
  • ‘Vanilla’ sex is becoming less desirable, while porn addiction is increasing
  • 'More young people are learning about sex through porn, and it’s having a devastating effect on their perceptions.'

By Deni Kirkova

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Britain’s leading sex and relationship experts have revealed their fears that porn use damages relationships.

70 per cent of men aged 18-34 admitting to using porn at least once a month and the use of it by both men and women is becoming more and more prevalent. But, at what cost?

Cosmopolitan magazine questioned 68 leading sex and relationship experts about the effects of porn on today’s relationship, and the result was overwhelmingly negative.

'More young people are learning about sex through porn, and it’s devastating their perceptions'

Eighty six per cent of the therapists questioned believe porn has had a negative effect on relationships and 90 per cent have seen an increase in relationship problems due to porn in recent years.

As porn is now so easily accessible, Cosmopolitan was also told that ‘vanilla’ sex is becoming less desirable, while porn addiction – once seen a very niche sexual problem – is on the increase.

Almost all of the therapists surveyed (94 per cent) have seen an increase in incidents of porn addiction and 63 per cent believe porn increases men’s expectations of sex with their partner.

Needless to say, porn has become a ticking time bomb in relationships and is crushing men’s and women’s confidence in the bedroom.

 
'Porn can affect men¿s ability to form relationships with real women, rather than those on their laptop'         

'Porn can affect men¿s ability to form relationships with real women, rather than those on their laptop'

More and more men are suffering from performance anxiety because of the ‘impressive’ feats they see in porn, whilst women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform’.

The February issue of Cosmopolitan is out now       

The February issue of Cosmopolitan is out now

Porn is becoming such a problem for some that 85 per cent of experts think porn has had a negative effect on women’s confidence and 67 per cent agree that women are under pressure to behave like porn stars in the bedroom.

'Porn can affect men’s ability to form relationships with real women, rather than those on their laptop,' said Psychosexual therapist Carol Featherstone.

Psychosexual therapist Karen Lobb-Rossini says, 'More and more young people (girls as well as boys) are learning about sex through porn, and it’s having a devastating effect on their perception of themselves and their bodies.'

Whilst some experts have claimed porn can help some relationships, many experts now believe it can have a devastating effect by skewing what is expected in the bedroom,' said Louise Court, Editor of Cosmopolitan.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264419/Vanilla-sex-OUT-porn-addiction-IN-Disturbing-results-Cosmo-survey-reveal-porn-damaging-relationships.html#ixzz2INHsNYST

Comments

I am a 33-year-old male who HAS NEVER HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN. I would like to say that I think this website is absolutely terrific. It's empowering us (mostly men) to restore our sexual health and/or erectile health. It's a breath of fresh air - certainly a revelation - and provides a lot of much needed insight into this furtive and isolating behavior.
I'll try my best to refrain from being verbose as I've read many stories and comments about porn addiction. And behind every story, there is a name - someone who is suffering greatly.
Personally, I have had a problem with porn for years and at this moment, I consider it one of the gravest existential health problems facing our society today.
I became exposed to porn when I was in college - with mostly men - as I went to a maritime college. A lot of my guy friends were into porn. I'll never forget the moment when someone handed me a Hustler and a Playboy and said, "Dude, what's the big deal, it's only p#!@y." Then he said, "Dude, your 18 years old, have a little fun with yourself....it's no big deal."

Guess, what.....as we've all been discovering, porn is a big deal......REALLY BIG. Every chance I get, I visit YourBrainOnPorn.com and cull the Internet for other websites to try to glean as much information as I can because this is such a pressing issue in our society.

I used to be really intrigued by porn and used to think, "What's wrong with it, I mean it's a just a couple of people (or several) who are having consensual sex with each other and they're getting paid for it." Or, "What's wrong with watching some really sexy women who - ostensibly - are enjoying life and SEX. But, it's more than that. As we know, it's degrading to women/exploits them and depicts some really obscene stuff.

I graduated college with a mindset where I was able to rationalize to myself that porn was okay. But, I have a completely different attitude about it now.

I highly recommend visiting feedtherightwolf.com. It's a great website. The guy's name who runs the website is named Alex. He is a former porn addict and I think he is a very thoughtful and sensitive guy - like Gary and Marnia. I found one page where talks about SOCIETY AND OUR STANDARDS OF ATTRACTIVENESS of women can get distorted from sexual imagery, advertising, etc. but porn takes this to the extreme. It's a worthwhile read. It's excellent.

After perusing YourBrainOnPorn.com, I made it a point to personally find out about Gary and Marnia. For all intents and purposes, we know they're smart....very smart. Gary taught physiology and anatomy and Marnia went to Yale Univ. and eventually became a corporate lawyer.....YIKES! Very impressive!

In fact, I think Gary Wilson and Marnia Robinson should go on CBS' 60 Minutes to talk about this problem that is VERY REAL and seems to be becoming more prevalent everyday. And, everybody is so uncomfortable talking about this stuff. Have you guys ever seen Cindy Gallop on Tedxtalks on YouTube? She is excellent! Essentially, she talks about how a lot of young people are learning about sex from watching porn and that it has become a huge problem in our society.

Also, I'd recommend searching Matt Fradd's name on YouTube. He is from Australia. It's good to watch if you're looking for a religious perspective on things. However, aside from that he does talk about the adverse effects of porn on the brain.....and that you can recover.

Right now, I currently do have PORN-INDUCED ED and I'm going through a reboot. I'm only several days into the reboot as I've tried to reboot before, but was unsuccessful because I relapsed several times, which, from what I understand is pretty common. Right now, I'm really scared, but I trust Gary and Marnia - and the science. I masturbated to porn on Monday, January 14th and at this point I am so utterly disgusted with myself. It's very hard to quit, but I am vowing to STOP this habit. I don't really understand all of the science that happens in your brain with regard to viewing too much porn except for the fact that it creates an upheaval in your dopamine levels and ravages your brain's reward circuitry - this is convincing enough for me to quit this shit. For motivation, I try to read other posters' success stories and how they toiled through getting through 1 week, 2 weeks and so on.

Actually, I'm looking for a little advice. I am currently searching for a job and there is a company whom I'd really like to work for and I was wondering if I should send a letter to them about this porn problem I've been going through and explain to them, "Hey, I really want to change my life and head down a better path - a good job, girlfriend, etc.? What do you guys think?

I suggest visiting http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/ - it's a great place to find support, start a journal, and toss around ideas.

I was wondering if I should send a letter to them about this porn problem I've been going through and explain to them,

I don't think this is a good idea.

Hey mate,
I'm not sure if you're interested, but I've written up some research that really helped me to quit the habit, on my blog. Follow the links on the right hand side of the blog for more posts - I've written four in total. All the best!

I placed a permanent link to your blod a few weeks ago, here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/external-rebooting-blogs-threads

scroll down to NoFapSolideo

Okay, thanks for the advice. I'll definitely take a look at yourbrainrebalanced.com. Actually, I've already been perusing many of the threads, but I'm definitely going to continue to read them as I need all of the motivation I can get. Thanks again.

What do you think about the idea of going on to CBS' 60 Minutes program? Here are my thoughts - interviews with several people: Gary Wilson and Marnia Robinson, Cindy Gallop and also Tiffany Granath from Playboy Radio or Chip Rowe (I think that's his name). Chip does the Playboy Advisor Radio on Sirius XM. Every once in awhile THEY DO TALK about PORN ADDICTION. And, then, I was also thinking about.....what about Bibi Jones (adult actress) and Rob Gronkowski from the New England Patriots (he spent some time with her....not sure if he's her boyfriend) to see what their thoughts are about this whole porn thing. I think Bibi Jones quit the industry because her family suggested it, but I'm not sure. I could send an e-mail to CBS to ask them if they could do something like that. I just think this would be a great thing to talk about on a show like 60 Minutes.

Or, maybe get 60 Minutes to interview Jennie Ketcham who wrote a book on her experiences in the industry. She was also on Dr. Drew. I don't know.....maybe Dr. Drew could go on 60 Minutes along with you guys to talk about this stuff. Personally, I think millions of people would watch this if they saw previews for it.....what do you think?

What's interesting is that Marnia was on Tiffany Granath last year some time. I suspect that information will continue to spread through a grass root method. There will come a time when the overwhelming obviousness of this problem - especially in adolescents reaching their 20's - will supersede the entrenched memes.

Thank you for your reply. I definitely agree with your response. Glad to hear that Tiffany Granath had Marnia as a guest on her radio show. I suppose that listening to Playboy Radio might not be good for the reboot process. Personally, if I do listen to Tiffany Granath, at this point, I immediately switch to a different channel/station or turn off my car radio if there is a 'porn trigger' (something that arouses me)....because I need to go through the reboot process. At this point, I'm ambivalent about them promoting certain things that are porn-related....like certain commercials on their channel as my attitude has changed about the porn industry. But, it is what it is....notwithstanding, the porn-related advertisements they have on their channel, I still think it's good how they have talked about porn as a huge problem for many men. At least, they've admitted that it's a real problem instead of trying to proverbially 'sweep it under the rug'. Similar to politics, "Gimme something that's balanced instead of 'rabble rousing' and naysaying all the time."

That's why I like you guys. You're balanced and you simply convey the stuff you know about the underlying problems about porn addiction and how someone can recover from the adverse effects.

P.S. Thank you for being so attentive and prompt with your replies. It's definitely helpful as porn addiction and particularly erectile dysfunction is VERY disconcerting when you're trying dig your way out of all these feelings of bewilderment. You guys are great.

Thank you for the link to your site. I just spent about 45 minutes perusing some of the different sections. Lots of content. I can tell that you're a very thoughtful person. Awesome website! I'll be sure to go back and continue reading some more to motivate myself.