Why the 90 day challenge sucks!
I love the 90 day challenge. Certainly that seems contradictory to that title above. However, it’s true. I love it. But there is a problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to notice it. What I’m speaking of is the conundrum of what happens after 90 days. Are we cured?
Let me give some background here so that I can better explain my situation, and hopefully relate better to whoever is reading. You see, I am not a newcomer to troubles with PMO. I have tried and completed 90 days in the past. It was amazing! All my erection problems were gone, I had tons of energy, and I had no cares of what other people thought of me. I knew I was awesome. I was confident; a man. So fast-forward a year later and I’m now crawling back to this challenge with my tail between my legs, feeling utterly defeated. Women seem evil, I have no motivation, and PMO is the only thing that temporarily will relinquish all of my problems. But fapping doesn’t ever solve those problems; it merely fulfills the false promise of doing so. It simply puts you into a brain-fogged state of denial where there are no problems. A state where you’re no longer thriving, you’re surviving.
I am not sure if that story sounds familiar to any one of you, but either way, it should serve as a warning to anyone who is embarking on this challenge. You need to decide right now what your goals are. Do you want to temporarily make strides in your life -- to climb to the top of a mountain only to come tumbling back down? Or do you want to climb to the top of the mountain and fly away once you get there? This is a metaphor for what nofap means to me. I have come to the recent realization that I should never masturbate again. It seems so ridiculous and dramatic, I know, but I see no other option.
When I first started nofap, substance abusers made no sense to me. “How could one possibly do THAT to themselves over and over again!?” But my attitude has changed after the relapses I have experienced. When I ask myself how different I am from those who abuse drugs, I can no longer see a crystal clear distinction. I exhibit pretty much all of the symptoms. This is sad but eye opening. When I first started the challenge, the mere suggestion that I was/am this similar to a substance abuser would be absurd. But I no longer can separate the two. That is why I will be abstaining from masturbation for the rest of my life. It is a slippery slope when you declare yourself cured. That “one time” turns into ten and so on and then a couple months later you realize you’re right back where you started.
I love the 90 day challenge. It has changed my life, and made me realize that this is a serious problem. Its easy to dismiss because it seems so "natural" but my advice is to take this process seriously. I didn’t at first, but now that I have experienced better, there is no other decision I can make make. This decision I will make for not only 90 days, but my whole life.
Ask yourself why you’re here. I know this post may seem dramatic, but a year from now, after you’ve relapsed it all may make sense. Don’t put off making a LIFE change. 90 days is simply the initial ascent.
”Oh come on, just one more time” is a very powerful thought. However, the action you take is even more powerful. Either become stronger each time you abstain, or become weaker each time you give in.
TLDR: Please read my post. It may take a few minutes, but is something I wish I had read a year ago!