Wow... I've finally conquered this battle that seemed impossible. I have failed and failed
Wow... I've finally conquered this battle that seemed impossible. Finally couldn't be a better word, I have failed and failed... I decided late last year that my new years resolution was going to quit porn once and for all. I thought this would be easy. I have so much control over things in my life ( thought, I ). Boy was I in for a surprise.
I had no idea how addicted I was. All starting at a young age my battle with porn was always a nightly thing just to help me fall asleep. It was literally every night. Every day for God knows how long, sometimes two times a day. I was so lucky to stumble over this site late last year.
My biggest battle was fighting the urge at night because it had become a habit. The urges were so immense and when I started telling my brain no it was like I stopped breathing and my body was just on strike about it... "what the hell are you doing? I need that!" (said, my body).
My best advice I can give is to set your goals small. I remember seeing all these people with their counters being so amazing... over 100 days... are you human?! Don't let that get you down, I've been there with that very thought.
When you first start is the real challenge. Getting to 7 days is an ACCOMPLISHMENT when you've been watching porn every day! Do NOT talk yourself down for struggling. Set your goal to 7 days! Then 14, then 20, then 30, then 60.
I've had so many attempts to get past 30. I've relapsed and relapsed. But finally I got it. I learned pretty quickly that I could not MO without PMO eventually, because those two things are so tightly bound together after being addicted for so long.
I went over 100 days without any sort of O whatsoever, and only now with my (new) girlfriend do I. She thinks the absolute world to me because of it, she appreciates me and respects me and knows how rare it is that someone has so much self control... but I literally had no self control at all in the beginning.
I couldn't get to 7 days but eventually I did. Then I couldn't get to 14 days. Then I couldn't get to 30 days. I kept getting better. I kept beating my new record. It was after 50 days I felt like I truly had started to reset. The urges were so easy to say no to after that and still are.
I literally just treat PMO as a drug addiction because I could easily fall back into the vice of it. Until you get despised at it, hate it, and feel like crap when you relapse, you won't have success. Keep on your goals, keep checking your counter, and keep beating your records. You only fail when you give up.
LINK - My success story (finally)