Imelwe kukuba enye yezona hlumelo zingaqhelekanga zeforum yewebhu esele ingaqhelekanga iReddit-Iqela elikhulu lenyani elizinikele ekugxekeni ububi bokuphulula amalungu esini kunye nephonografi kunye nokuxhasa abo bachacha kumdlalo wabo. Yibhodi yemiyalezo ye-Intanethi ethatha indawo yetangle yegumbi lokuhlambela lokungakhathali, ukuphoxa, kunye nokunyathela ngokuthe ngqo kwiwebhu yentlalo ngokukhuthala ongakuboni rhoqo ngaphandle kwemvuselelo yecawe okanye intlanganiso ye-AA. Indawo apho ukuzithanda—okunyabileyo, okuqinisekileyo, kodwa okukudala kugqalwa njengelungileyo—kugqalwa njengamandla ayingozi. Apho amawakawaka abantu abangabaziyo abavela kwihlabathi liphela bahlanganisana yonke imihla ukuze bathethe ngeemvakalelo zabo ezisondeleleneyo kunye neentsilelo ezimnyama ekuphumezeni injongo enye elula: Musa ukugruzuka.
Lo nguNoFap, oneminyaka emithathu enesiqingatha ubudala, i-140,000-ilungu le-Intanethi ye-Intanethi, eyenziwe ngamadoda amancinci, amaninzi angenalwazi ngesondo (kumntu ongaziwayo, "fap" yi-onomatopoeic Internet slang yesandi sendoda. ukuphulula amalungu esini). Njengoko kuyinyani kuyo nayiphi na iforum yewebhu elungileyo okanye iqela lokuzinceda, intliziyo yayo ebethayo bubungqina bayo, obulandela umkhondo we-12-step confessional: umdla omsulwa oye waphumela ekubeni likhoboka lokusebenzisa kakubi, ukuzonwa kancinci okuye kwaba yinto ehlala ihleli. .
“Akukhange kube kubi kakhulu de ndafumana i-smartphone kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo,” wavuma kum omnye umfana, ohamba ngegama lesikrini uMlo wokugqibela. “Kwakuba njalo, njengokuba, nje ukuba ndivuke. Emva koko ndiza kubuya esikolweni, mhlawumbi ndichithe iiyure ezintathu zokufafaza. Amaxesha amathandathu okanye asixhenxe ngemini ayivakali.”
“Ndandingazichukumisi nje ukuba ndindedwa, kodwa ukuba akukho mntu undijongileyo,” indoda etshatileyo eneminyaka engama-40 indixelela kwincoko yangasese. “Ndandidla ngokufaka isandla sam ebhulukhweni emsebenzini, ecaweni, ekhaya, naphi na apho ndingabonwa mntu. Ndaziphulula amaphambili kuhola wendlela ndiqhuba iimayile ezingama-80 ngeyure.”
"Ndiye ndihambe kwaye ndigqibe ekubeni ndifike emva kwexesha emsebenzini okanye eminye imisebenzi," iveza enye i-fapstronauts ezichazayo kwindawo. “Ndiye ndiphumle xa ndisemsebenzini. Ndiye ndanyoshoza ngelixa intombi yam ikwigumbi elinye nam. Ukuba ebesazi,” uhlabela mgama, “ibiya kuluphelisa ulwalamano lwam naye. Ndiye ndancokola nabanye abafana kwi-Intanethi ukwabelana ngamanyala kwaye uxoxe ngayo. Emva koko, ndiziva ndingoyena mntu ubhityileyo, ongoyena mntu ungaqhelekanga emhlabeni.”
Ku-Alexander Rhodes, umseki weqela, inkathazo ngokuphulula amalungu esini yaqala xa i-12 leminyaka ubudala, "i-Googling 'boobies' kunye nokubonisa abahlobo bam." kwaye emva koko, uthi, "yasuka nje ukusuka apho. nantso indlela. Ekugqibeleni uqala ukuyiphatha njengokuxukuxa amazinyo…. Ukhohlisa umzimba wakho ngeendlela ezimfutshane zebhayoloji, kwaye xa ekugqibeleni uyeka iphonografi, umzimba wakho ufana, 'Ingcwele shit. Asizange sabelana ngesondo iminyaka emithandathu! Kufuneka senze okuthile ngale nto.’”
KwakuyiRhodes ngokucacileyo wayengeyedwanga kumzabalazo wakhe wokuchasana nezilingo zoburheletya kunye nokuphulula amaphambili, kwaye amadoda avela kwihlabathi liphela ngokukhawuleza ajoyina i-crusade yakhe. INoFap ngoku imi njengelona phepha le-227 lithandwa kakhulu ngaphezu kwe-500,000 kwinethiwekhi enkulu yentlalontle yeReddit, ibekwe ngaphezulu nje kwezo zidumileyo kunye nezopolitiko zehlabathi (nangona, ukucaca, kusengaphantsi "kweentombazana" kunye "neLegalteens" -oku yiyo, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iReddit, umqambi wefoto yokuqhekeka engavunyelwanga eyaziwa ngokuba yi "creepshot"). Abasebenzisi bayo baphindaphindeke kathathu ngenani kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, nto leyo ekhokelele iRhodes ukwakha iqonga le-off-Reddit.nofap.com kwaye baqalise ukucwangcisa iisayithi zolwimi ezikhethekileyo ukuze bakhonze amaqela akhula ngokukhawuleza eBrazil, eJamani naseTshayina.
Ukufika kunye nokwanda kwe-Intanethi smut kuthetha ukuba imfuno yeforamu yolu hlobo inkulu, kwaye iyakhula kuphela. Umzuzwana ngamnye, phantse i-30,000 yabasebenzisi be-Intanethi bajonga iphonografi, kunye ne-40 yezigidi zabantu baseMelika abangabasebenzisi be-porn, i-70 ipesenti yamadoda aneminyaka eyi-18 ukuya kwi-34 evuma ukubukela i-porn yenyanga, kunye neepesenti ze-18 zamadoda abiza umlutha okanye "ukuxhomekeka okungaqinisekanga." Phakathi kwesiseko somsebenzisi we-NoFap, ingxaki yokugqibela imbi kakhulu: uphononongo lwe-2012 oluphantse lube yi-1,500 fapstronauts lubonise ukuba iipesenti ze-59 zichitha phakathi kwe-4 kunye neeyure ze-15 ngeveki zichitha i-porn. Olo phononongo lunye lugqibe kwelokuba phantse iipesenti ezingama-90 zesiseko sabasebenzisi beNoFap bakwishumi elivisayo nakwiminyaka engama-20: isizukulwana sabo saba sesokuqala ukuza ngobudala ngexesha lokufikelela ekhaya kwi-Intanethi ngesantya esiphezulu-kunye nombhobho womlilo ongenamkhawulo wephonografi oza. nayo.
"I-porn ye-Intanethi ekhawulezayo luhlobo olungaqhelekanga lokuziphatha ngokwesondo," utshilo uGary Wilson, umhlohli we-physiology oye waba yinto yokubukela iphonografi kwi-intanethi ukususela kwintetho yakhe ye-TED ka-2012, "uvavanyo olukhulu lwe-Porn," waya kwintsholongwane. Kuyo, uWilson uthi “abafana banamhlanje banokubona iintsana ezishushu ngakumbi ngemizuzu eli-10 kunokuba ookhokho babo babezibona ebomini babo.” Ucacisa ngokubhekele phaya: “le nto intsha ingapheliyo yesini—ukucofa nokucofa nokucofa—awunakuyithelekisa kanye ngenyanga. playboy. "
UWilson ungomnye wabafundi abaninzi kunye noogqirha abaye bajolisa ngakumbi ingqalelo yabo kwimiphumo ye-intanethi ye-porn. Nangona kungekho mvumelwano yeklinikhi yokuba ukuziphulula amalungu esini kwaye ngokwakho kuqhagamshelwe kwiziphumo ezibi zempilo (kubandakanya i-bogeyman enkulu ye-NoFap, ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile), uWilson uphikisa ukuba indlela ethile yomvuzo evulwe yi-porn-ukuzonwabisa ngokwesondo ngaphandle kokunxibelelana kwabantu okanye umzamo-uyafumaneka amadoda kwiminyaka yobudala apho ingqondo yomntu ininzi yeplastiki, inika umhlaba ochumileyo wembewu yokulutha. “Abaphandi banxibelelanisa umndilili wokusetyenziswa kwe-porn kunye nokutshintsha kwengqondo, kwaye bafumanisa ukuba amanyala asetyenziswa ngaba bafana, eyona nto i-grey babenayo kumvuzo wabo wokujikeleza. Oku kuthetha ukuba i-porn ichitha inkqubo yakho yomvuzo. " Uqhubeka athi, nangona kunjalo, uphando oluncinci lweklinikhi kule ndawo exhasa ithiyori yakhe luyafumaneka, kuba abaphandi baye bazama ukufumana iqela elilawulayo elaneleyo. oko kukuthi: “Asifumani nanye into yamadoda akwiminyaka yasekholejini engayibukeliyo iphonografi.”
Isazi ngengqondo saseStanford uPhilip Zimbardo uye waqulunqa igama elithi "umlutha wokuvuselela inkanuko" ukuchaza into eyahlukileyo kancinci: "Amadoda aphuhlisa imvakalelo yawo yesini malunga nephonografi, kwaye ayibandakanyi abantu bokwenyani," ucacisile kwiforum yamva nje, ngokwemvelo. Reddit. “Ke xa bedibana nomfazi wokwenyani ezantsi kwendlela, iya kuba ngamava angaphandle kakhulu kwaye axhokonxe. Endaweni yokubukela nje isikrini, ngoku izakhono zabo zokunxibelelana kunye nomzimba wonke kufuneka babandakanyeke, kwaye kukho omnye umntu apho oneemfuno zakhe zesini. Okanye, njengoko uMlo wokuGqibela weNoFapper ubeka, “Kutheni ucinga ngamantombazana okwenyani xa ndixakeke kakhulu ndijonge awomgunyathi? Kwandenza ndaphelelwa ngamandla.”
Nangona uZimbardo ekhawuleza ukuba abonise ukuba amadoda amaninzi-ukuba amaninzi-ayenobudlelwane obuphilileyo kunye noonografi kwaye ukuphulula amaphambili yinto eqhelekileyo yebhayoloji, nabani na ononxibelelwano lwe-Intanethi banokuvuma ukuba ubuncinci, iwebhu inendlela yokuhenda. abanokuchaphazeleka kude nehlabathi lokwenyani. Ke ngelixa ezinye iipowusta zeNoFap zibonakala zithatha konke ukuphulula amalungu esini njengento engafanelekanga, utshaba lokwenyani lwesiza luchaneke ngakumbi kwaye, ngandlela thile, luyingozi ngakumbi: i-jackoff superhighway evezwa yi-porn ye-Intanethi. Ijongwe ngolo hlobo, i-NoFap ingaphezulu nje kwe-Reddit kwi-joke-ngaphezulu, nokuba, kunelona qela likhulu lenkxaso yokuphulula isini emhlabeni: Sisisombululo se-Intanethi kwingxaki ye-Intanethi, umzekelo onqabileyo we-digital circle-jerk. izama ukuzilungisa.
Njengezinto ezininzi ze-Intanethi, I-NoFap yaqala, kwi-2011, njenge-goof, okanye ubuncinane i-lark. “Bendicinga ukuba iya kuba yinto yexesha elinye,” uyachaza uRhodes, umakhi wewebhu oneminyaka engama-25 wasePittsburgh. “Yayiluvavanyo olusekwe kolu phononongo oluvela e-China olwathi ukuhlaziya i-masturbation encinci kukhokelela kwi-testosterone ephezulu. Le 'challenge' ndiyiqale ngabantu abamalunga nekhulu. 'Iveki enye yokungafaki,' satsho. Sahamba ke inyanga yanye. Kwaye saqala ukubona ubomi bethu buphucuka ngeendlela ezimangalisayo. ”
URhodes kunye noogxa bakhe be-fapstronauts bakholelwa ukuba ukuyeka iphonografi, ukuphulula amalungu esini, kwaye, kwezinye iimeko, i-orgasms ngokupheleleyo (kubandakanywa nezo ziphunyeziweyo kunye neqabane) kubangela ukuba umzimba "uqalise useto lwefektri," njengekhompyuter yosulwa yintsholongwane. I-fapstronaut ephumeleleyo kucingelwa ukuba inamandla ngakumbi, ubudlelwane obuphuculweyo kunye nabasetyhini (ipesenti ezingama-90 ngamadoda athe tye), kunye nentlaninge yezinye iziphumo ezilungileyo zempilo: njengoko umgca wethegi weNoFap uthembisa, "Bafumana iNgcaciso entsha kuBomi."
Ewe kunjalo, iRhodes ayingomfana wokuqala othathela ingqalelo isini ukuqonda ukuba ukuphulula amalungu esini amaxesha amaninzi ngosuku kunokuba kungabikho mveliso ngokupheleleyo, kwaye iNoFap yenye nje kumgca omde wokuchasana nokuphulula amalungu esini, iimfazwe zokuhlambuluka kwamadoda ezisukela kwiinkulungwane ezadlulayo. . Kodwa ngokungafaniyo namaKristu akholelwa kwisiseko, amaSilamsi alondolozayo, kunye namanye amaqela ashumayela ububi bokuphulula amalungu esini kunye nokusetyenziswa koburheletya, iNoFap ayiyonkolo nakancinci: Imbono yayo iyasebenza, isibhalo sayo sinokubandakanya iingoma zikaLil Wayne kunye. Game of Thrones iimemes kuneevesi zeGenesis.
Ngapha koko, le ntshukumo ifana ngendlela engaqhelekanga nenye isiseko sokuzinceda ngokungagungqiyo, uninzi lwehlabathi: IAlcoholics Anonymous. I-NoFap isebenzisa inkqubo yebheji yekhawuntari yosuku elandelela inombolo yomsebenzisi "yeentsuku ezicocekileyo" kwaye iyibonise ecaleni kwegama lakhe lomsebenzisi. Umthathi-nxaxheba usenokukhetha ukudibanisa “neqabane elinoxanduva lokuphendula” elinokubeka iliso kwimbali yakhe ye-Intanethi ngesoftware ukuze amgcine enyanisekile. Iifapstronauts ezifuna ukuxhaswa ngokukhawuleza zinokujika kwiqhosha likaxakeka, i-Intanethi kunye ne-app ye-android (eza kungekudala kwi-iPhone) ebonisa iithayile ezinkulu ezinombala obhalwe “Ukwala,” “Uxinzelelo,” “UkuBuyiselwa kwakhona,” kunye “neNgxamiseko” ( ngokhetho oluncinci lwe "Nkolo" kwikona ephezulu ngasekunene). Cinezela iqhosha-nantoni na esebenzayo kuluhlu lwakho lokuphulula amalungu esini-kwaye i-app ivelisa isicatshulwa esikhuthazayo, ividiyo ye-YouTube, okanye i-meme ephindwe ngobuchule ukuze ikubeke endleleni ngoko nangoko. Kukuzinceda ngokucofa-imethadone kwiheroin yamanyala.
Kukho ne-subforum ebizwa ngokuba yi-NoFapWar, eguqula umnqweno wokunqanda ukuphulula amalungu esini ibe ngumdlalo wemfazwe we-fapstinence attrition apho iinkokeli zeplatoon zikhethwa, amajoni agaywayo, kwaye iqela elinamadoda amaninzi emi ekupheleni liyaphumelela. (Ukuba kubonakala kuselula, makube njalo-nantoni na efunekayo ukulahla i-porn kunye ne-masturbation, ngolunye usuku ngexesha.) Nangona iforamu igcwele uburharha be-nerdy kunye ne-half-ironic jokiness onokuyilindela kubulungu bayo, ukuvuma ubumnyama ngamaxesha athile (ipowusta enye ibhala ngokurhabaxa malunga nokugcina iiterabytes ezininzi zeefoto zamanyala) ihlangatyezwana nohlobo lwenkxaso esuka entliziyweni onokuyilindela kwiseshoni yonyango yeqela: Kulungile. Yenza into elungileyo. Cima i-stash. Uya kudlula kule nto. Silapha ngenxa yakho.
Kanjalo, ezinye iingcali zithandabuza isiseko sokukhotyokiswa kwe-porn ngokupheleleyo. UDavid Ley, isazi ngengqondo yeklinikhi kunye nombhali we Inkolelo yeTyala loSondo, iphikisa ukuba eyona ngcamango ingaphezulu kancinane kunendlela elula yokuphuma, i-media-hyped reaction kwiingxaki ezinkulu. “Igama elithi ‘ukukhotyokiswa’ alisenamsebenzi wamayeza,” undixelela oko. "Iphangiwe ngabantu abatyhala ii-ajenda: amajelo eendaba asebenzisa uloyiko lwethu lwesini ukwenza imali, amaqela enkolo asebenzisa ubuqhetseba ukufumana abalandeli" -kwaye kwanamaqela angenzi nzuzo njengeNoFap aqhutywa ukuba "asebenzise umbono wokulutha iphonografi njengendlela yokugubungela. yeengxaki ezinzima ngakumbi. bathi, 'Iporn yingxaki. Hayi wena.' Kodwa ke, asiyonyaniso leyo.” U-Ley uxoxa ukuba abaninzi abaphulula amalungu esini banokuba banengxaki yokunyanzelwa yi-pathological obsession. “Iphonografi ayizange ibe yingxaki. Ingxaki yayibubuntu babo obungalawulekiyo kwasekuqaleni.”
Mhlawumbi kunjalo. kodwa kwiforamu apho iseshoni yemihla ngemihla yokuphulula amalungu esini ithathwa njengento engenamsebenzi, ulwahlulo lwezonyango lusenokungabi namsebenzi kangako. okona kubi kakhulu, uRhodes uthi, wayefefa amaxesha ali-10 ngosuku. Andikhathali nokuba inzululwazi ithini. Amava am athi iphonografi ye-Intanethi sisiyobisi. Iphazamisa iimvakalelo zakho. Yindlela yokubaleka, ukubaleka iingxaki zakho.” Uninzi lwabalandeli beNoFap, wongeza, luhambelana neprofayili eqikelelwayo: "Uninzi lwabafana abancinci abangazange babe kubudlelwane bezesondo." Ngokuchanekileyo, ngokophando luka-2012, i-31 pesenti ikwishumi elivisayo; abangama-58 ekhulwini bakwiminyaka yabo yama-20; yaye i-11 ekhulwini linama-30 nangaphezulu. Abathathu kwikota abangatshatanga, kwaye phantse isiqingatha banyulu.
Njengomntu oneminyaka eyi-19 ubudala ozichaza "njengobunzima" kwaye ulandelela imbali ephazamisayo kunye neyomda kunye nabasetyhini, uMlo wokugqibela uhambelana naloo mthetho. Uthi: “Ndandithengisa ngawo onke amanyala endakha ndawabona ngokuncamisa nje kube kanye. Kwaye kubantu abafana naye, abantu abasebenzisa isondo ngokungaziwa okanye iseshoni yonyango eqhelekileyo inokuba yingozi. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kunzima ukuxoxa ukuba ukubuyisela ukuziphatha ngokugqithiseleyo kwifilosofi yobomi yinto embi. Ukuba uninzi lwaba babizwa ngokuba ngamakhoboka e-porn bangama-run-of-the-mill nerds kunye nonxibelelwano oluncinci kunye nesini esahlukileyo kunye nento abayibona njengobudlelwane obungenampilo kwi-porn, kutheni bengenandawo apho banakho konke. bahlangane ngomdla, ah, bengezi?
I-NoFap izaliswe ngamabali empumelelo-amabali okuziphucula ukusuka ekulahlekeni kobunzima ukuya ekunyukeni kokuzithemba eluntwini ukuya ekugqibeleni ekufumaneni intombi. Isizathu kunye nesiphumo kunzima ukulinganisa, ewe, kodwa xa usihla kuyo, umyalezo oncomekayo wentshukumo unokuba namandla awo: IiFapstronauts zikholelwa ukuba bafunda indlela yokucinezela iminqweno yabo, intlonipho kunye nokusukela. iinjongo ezibambekayo, kwaye unyuke uphume kubunzulu bokuthandabuza ukufumanisa ukuba bangoobani kwaye benze ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo. Kwaye mhlawumbi banyanisile-mhlawumbi sikwindawo yokunyuka kwemveliso yamadoda amancinci, ixesha elitsha lokuzithemba ngokwesondo kunye nabahamba ngentsimbi. Mhlawumbi iNoFap ngenene iya kuzisa ixesha legolide lokucinga kwamadoda.
Ubuncinci, sinokuba neekawusi ezimbalwa kakhulu ezingekhoyo.
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