Andingomntu wamagama amaninzi kodwa ndinetyala kulo bahlali ukuba ndithi enkosi! Ndicinga ukuba ndikwi minority apha. Nditshatile iminyaka engaphezu kweshumi kwaye ndinabantwana aba-4 kwaye ndigcine kwaye ndigcine umlutha wam uyimfihlo.
Ibali lam: Ndaqala ukufaka i-fapping xa mhlawumbi ndingu-13 kwiikhathalogu ze-JC Penny njengoko sasingenayo ikhompyutha xa ndandineminyaka yobudala. Ndaqhubeka ndinjalo. Ndikhe ndafumana imagazini ye-playboy ebaleni ndakhe ndabambelela kuyo ndazifihla. Ndaziva ngelo xesha kwaye ndisenza ukuba ukwenza oku kwakungalunganga. Bendibawela abafazi (ndiyayazi abanye abakholwa kodwa mna). Ndiziva ndilikhoboka lokungxama kwe-dopamine kwasekuqaleni.
Xa ndandimalunga ne-18 leminyaka ndathetha negosa lezenkolo malunga nomba wam kwaye ndaziva ndinenkxaso kunye nomnqweno wokwenza oko. Oko kusenokwenzeka ukuba kwathabatha ithuba elingangonyaka onesiqingatha.
Xa ndandineminyaka engama-21 ndafumana ikhompyuter yam yokuqala (ibonakala ingaqhelekanga ngoku). Kodwa oko kwakungo-1998. Ndandinocofa kuphela kodwa ngoku ndandikwihlabathi lephonografi yasimahla (imifanekiso kuphela). Ukungxama kwam kwakuphumela eluphahleni.
Ndaphinda ndayeka xa ndandineminyaka engama-23 mhlawumbi unyaka omhle. Ndandisoloko ndingumntu owonwabileyo xa ndingakhange ndijonge i-porn kwaye ngokunyanisekileyo sele ixesha elide kangangokuba andizazi izizathu ezicacileyo ndibuyele. Uqikelelo lwam kukuba yayikukwazi ukujonga iividiyo ezivuthelwe ngokupheleleyo.
Ndatshata iphupha lam intombazana xa ndandineminyaka 25. Yena ngoyena mntu emangalisayo ndakha ndadibana. Andimnqandeli kwanto NGAPHANDLE kwalento inye. Ndineentloni kakhulu kwaye ndiyazi ukuba bekungayi kuhlala kakuhle. Sobabini singabakholwayo kwaye sikholelwa ukuba kusisono.
Lahamba ixesha ndilapha emva kweminyaka eyi-10. Ngelo xesha ndandinabantwana aba-4. Ubudlelwane bam bezesondo nomfazi wam babungekho buhle kakhulu. Yaya iba worse njengoko ixesha lihamba. Sasingalali rhoqo ngaphandle kokuba sizame ukuba nomntwana. Xa senze njalo, ngelishwa kwafuneka ndicinge nge-porn okanye i-porn fantasy entlokweni yam. Ndiyazi ukuba umfazi wam wayeziva ndingatsalelekanga kuye. Kwakufuneka ndisoloko ndigxininisa ukuba ndinjalo. Inyani yeyokuba ndiyamazi ukuba mhle kodwa anditsho ukuba bendivulwa kwindawo awayehamba ze (ngenxa yamanyala).
Ngapha koko, ngenye imini ndafumana ingqondo yakho kwi-porn. Ndandisazi ukuba i-porn yayilikhoboka kodwa ndandingazi ukuba ndenze ntoni ngayo. Wowu! into endayifunda kuloo webhsayithi yandibetha kanobom. Ngesizathu esithile ukwazi nje ukuba kutheni ndenze le nto ndiyenzileyo kwandinika amandla. Ukusuka apho ndifumene i-nofapp. Ndandingazi ukuba kukho uluntu lonke olunemiba emininzi efanayo. Oku bekungoJulayi wokugqibela. Bendiziva ndonwabile. Ndabetha uphawu lweentsuku ze-90 kwimodi enzima (umfazi wam wayenomntwana ngoko kwasebenza kakuhle). Kungekudala emva kokuba ndiyenzile. Yenzeka kancinci. Bendiya kujonga eminye imibuzo ebuziweyo ebiyi-nsfw kwaye isuka ngokuthe chu ukuya kweminye yemifanekiso ye-nsfw reddits. Kwaye ekugqibeleni ukuzithemba kwam kwakuphantsi ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndiphinde ndithi screw it, kwaye ndandibukele iividiyo kwakhona. Andizange ndenze i-fap nangona kunjalo.
Oku kwaqhubeka kangangeeveki ezimbalwa. Ndenze izigqibo zonyaka omtsha ukuba ndingaphindi ndiyenze kwakhona. Ngesi sihlandlo ndafunda kwiimpazamo zam. Isigqibo sam somelele ngakumbi. Ndiyishiyile ikhawuntara yam ndisiya kwi-nofap kuba andikhange ndiyenze. Ndifumene i-pornfree kwaye ndizimisele ukuba le yeyona nto iphambili kuyo yonke into kwaye le yikhawuntari ebaluleke kakhulu kum.
Phofu ke, ngoku ndikhululekile kubutyala bam. Ndiyazi ukuba umfazi wam uyabona ukuba izinto zitshintshile. Xa ndilalana yonke lento imalunga naye. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ndicinge ngamanyala kwaphela. Ndiziva ndiyindoda entsha!
Ndiyazi ukuba kukho uluvo oluthandwayo ekufuneka uxelele umfazi wakho. Ukuba yiloo nto ekufuneka uyenzile ukuyiyeka yenze (yeyona nto ibalulekileyo leyo). Mna, bendisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba oku kuya kumkhathaza kakhulu. Ewe ungayixhasa ngesayensi yonke into oyifunayo kodwa ekugqibeleni ndiye ndavulwa ngamanyala kunaye. Ndicinga ukuba yonke imeko yahlukile.
Noko ke, ndiyazi ukuba le yayinde. Andikuthandi ukuchwetheza izinto ngalo lonke ixesha kodwa ndifuna ukuthi enkosi kuye wonke umntu. Kuphela kusenza somelele ukuva abanye bephumelela kunye nokubanika inkxaso kwimizabalazo yabo. Nangona ndingathathi nxaxheba rhoqo, ndindwendwela le ndawo yonke imihla.
Isayiniwe, uMyeni noBawo ozinikele ngokutsha!
LINK - Ndiye ndafikelela kuma-90 okwesibini nelokugqibela! (iphonografi ifile kum)
by Ih8prn
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