Ndikhe ndafuna ukwenza ibali lempumelelo okwethutyana, kwaye leliphi ixesha elingcono kunemizuzu engaphantsi kwe-30 emva kokuphinda ndibuyele kuluhlu lwam lweentsuku ezili-175? Ngolwazi oluthile, ndineminyaka eyi-15 ubudala
kwaye ndaqala ukuhlaziya i-masturbating malunga ne-12 yobudala, nangona ngelo xesha kwakuyinto enqabileyo kwaye andizange ndijonge i-pornography kakhulu. Oku kusenokudinwa kancinci, kodwa ndiza kuzama ukukugcina kukufutshane.
Ngelixa xa ndijika i-14, ndaqala ukucinga kakhulu nge-masturbation kunye ne-porn, ndingena kwiifesti eziphambeneyo. Ndaye ndafikelela kwinqanaba lokuba ndiphulule amalungu amalungu amalungu amalungu amalungu omzimba ubuncinane kathathu ngemini yaye yayingandikhawulezisi, yayindinqanda nje ukuba ndirhoxe. Nangona ndandihlalisana kakuhle esikolweni, ndandinabantu abambalwa endinokubabiza ngokuba ngabahlobo kwaye ndachitha i-100% yexesha lam elikhululekile kwigumbi lam ndedwa, ndidlala imidlalo yevidiyo kunye nokuphulula amaphambili.
Malunga no-Okthobha ngo-2014, kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwam kwe-15th, umhlobo wam wazisa i-NoFap kum, kunye nendlela awayeyiqala ngayo kunye nendlela eyamenza waziva ngayo. Ebengengomntu wokuqala ukundixelela ngalento, bendikhe ndayiva kodwa bendingazange ndiyicinge nzulu ukuyenza. Kwaye nalapho andizange ndiyithathele ingqalelo. Ndamgculela ngenxa yalo kwaye ndaqhubeka ndiphulula i-masturbating ubuncinane kanye ngosuku ukuya kwimidiya egqithisileyo kunye nexinzelelo.
Andazi ncam ukuba kwenzeka ntoni, kodwa ngo December ndaqalisa ukunxulumana nobomi bam obuphantsi nokuphulula amalungu esini ngokugqithisileyo. Ngoko ndabuyela kumhlobo wam (uyindoda enkulu) kwaye wandixelela konke malunga neNoFap, kwaye ndacinga ukuba ndiza kuyidubula. Ndiphinde ndaphinda enye okanye ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba ndibe kumdlalo wam wokuqala onzima. Kwakuyientsuku ze-30, nangona kunjalo ndiza kuba nomkhwa ombi wokunikezela esilingweni kunye nokujonga i-pornography, ekugqibeleni yakhokelela ekubuyeleni kwakhona.
Emva koko kwehla, ngoFebruwari 16, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiza kukuthabatha nzulu ngakumbi oku. Ndagqibela ngelo xesha ukuphinda ndibuyele kwade kwayimizuzu embalwa edlulileyo. Kwiiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala, ndandisoloko ndijonge i-pornography ngenxa yesilingo esinamandla, kodwa intando yam yaba namandla kwaye iminqweno yaba buthathaka kwaye yachithwa. Kwathatha iinyanga ezimbalwa, kodwa ubomi bam bentlalontle baqalisa ukukhula kakhulu. Ndaqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabanye abantu, ndaqala ukuncamisa kwaye ulonwabo lwam lonke lwanda kakhulu. Ndandidla ngokuba nexhala lentlalontle, yaye oko kwaphela. Inkuthazo yam yokuzenza ngcono nayo yanda. Ndaqala ndatya ngcono, ndahlamba amanzi abandayo kwaye ndasebenza. I-NoFap yayingeyonxalenye enkulu yobomi bam kuba andizange ndiphequlule i-sub kuba izibongozo zam zihambile phantse ngokupheleleyo, kunqabile ukuba kufike engqondweni yam.
Oko kukuthi, kude kube malunga neeveki ezintathu ezedlulileyo, xa ndajonga i-porn kwakhona okokuqala kwiinyanga. Yaba yimizuzwana nje embalwa, kodwa ngokuzithandela ndayikhangela. Ayiyonto inkulu, nangona kunjalo andiqondi ukuba ndaziqeqesha ngokwaneleyo ngenxa yayo. Hayi, ngoku zifikile iimpazamo endizenzileyo namhlanje. Ndandikhangela iwebhu, kwaye ndabona ikhonkco ku /f/ (4chan's fashion thread) kwaye yandenza ndacinga ngam /b/. Ke, ndinesithukuthezi kwaye ndinomsindo, ndaya ku /b/… Impazamo enkulu yokuqala. Ukujonga nje umsonto omnye ngephonografi kwakufana nekhoboka lecocaine elijonge icoke okokuqala kwiinyanga, kuba yayiyiyo loo nto. Ndiphume kuyo, ndabaleka ndizama ukubuyisela ingqondo yam. Ukubuya kwam, ndabuyela kwikhompyuter yam kwigumbi elingaphantsi, ndedwa…. Impazamo yesibini. Ndakwazi ukunikela ingqalelo kwezinye izinto kangangemizuzu engama-40 de ndakroba kwakhona. Ngesi sihlandlo, umnqweno wawunamandla ngakumbi. Ndithatheke kakhulu kwaye ndaqalisa ukuntywila, ndijonge kuyo yonke imisonto ye-NSFW, nangona kunjalo ndingazichukumisi… kancinci andizange ndiqonde ukuba kuzakwenzeka ntoni.
Ndaye ndonwaba kakhulu kulamanyala agqithisileyo kunye ne-erotica kwi /b/ kangangokuba ndangena ebhulukhweni ndingakhange ndibambe idick yam. Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba kwenzeke, ukuphakama kwahamba ngoko nangoko kwaye ndaqala ukuziva ngathi yi-shit. Ndiye ndagxalathelana ukuya ebathroom ndayohlamba ebandayo ndehla ndanxiba impahla ecocekileyo. Ndisaxakene nam kwaye ndidanile kukungabikho kwam amandla okuzimisela (iyimizuzu engama-30 kuphela), kodwa ndiyazi ukuba lidabi elincinci kwimfazwe enkulu ngokuchasene ne-PMO. Ndiyazi ukuba ukuphinda omnye emva kweenyanga zeNoFap ayizukundibuyisela ekuqaleni, kukubuyisela umva, kwaye enye ndiza kuyidlula kungekudala. Kuzo zonke ii-fapstronauts- hlala womelele kwaye ugcine intloko yakho phezulu. Ukufunda ngeNoFap yenye yeentsikelelo ezinkulu ozifumene ebomini kwaye ukuba unamathela kuyo, iya kukwenza ube ngumntu ongcono kakhulu.
;