IsiNgesi lulwimi lwam lwesithathu, ndinyamezele kwiimpazamo endizenzayo.
Ndifumene ukwazi malunga nofap phakathi kwe-2017. Kude kube ngoku, ndandifana nani kakhulu. Umlutha wemifanekiso engamanyala, u-lethargic, wayengazi kwanto ngekamva, esoyika ukuphumela esidlangalaleni njalo-njalo. Ndizamile ukuyeka lo mkhwa kodwa ndaphinda ndaphinda. Amaxesha amaninzi, kaninzi-ninzi.
Ndabandakanyeka kwi-PMO ndineminyaka eyi-12 emva kokuba omnye endandifunda naye 'ecebisile'. Emva koko, yayiyeyona nto ilungileyo eyakha yenzeka kum. Ndiqale ngezinto ze vanilla, ndajonga iimagazini kunye neTV ukuze ndiziphange. Ke ndaqala ukubukela imifanekiso engamanyala kwifowuni katata wam xa engekho. Nge-15, ndafumana i-smartphone yam yokuqala kwaye apho ndaqala ukuhla kwam. Ngo-2017 ndandisele ndilikhoboka. Umlutha onengxaki engaka yokuzala, ukubeleka, ukuthanda izinto ezimbini njl ...
Ndizokubukela i-porn ebusuku, kude kube kukusa kwaye mhlawumbi ndinokufumana iiyure ezimbini zokulala kwaye ndiye esikolweni / ekholejini. Ngaphandle kokuthetha, ndiphumle ubuthongo eklasini ngenxa yokuba amabanga am angaphantsi komndilili. Izakhono zam zentlalo zazingekho. Andikwazanga kubamba mntu nakubani na, nditsho nabantu abancinci kunam. Kwakungekho lula ukuba ndithethe nayo nayiphi na intombazana kwaye akukho ntombazana kwakunzima ukuthetha nam. Ndandihlala ndinemicimbi yentamo ngenxa yokusebenzisa kakhulu ifowuni. Ndiwakhuphe ngamehlo am kwaye ndisahlaselwa yi-myopia.
Emva koko, ndafumana i-nofap. Kodwa njengokuba uninzi lwethu lusenza, ndaye ndasilela. Ubuyele amaxesha amaninzi. Kwakungomhla we-12 kuJanuwari, ngo-2018. Ndindodwa ekhaya kwaye ndandixheleke kangangezihlandlo ezisibhozo. Ukuphela kwam, bendidiniwe, ipenis yam ibiziva ndikhathazekile kwaye ibibuhlungu ngaxeshanye, ndinentlungu ebukhali esiswini sam kwaye ndilila. Besele ndilibethile iliwa lam phantsi. Ngalo mhla, ndandisazi ukuba ndiyaqhubeka nale ndlela yokuphila ixesha elide ayizukubakho kum, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba nditshintshe.
Ngosuku olulandelayo, nge-13 kaJanuwari ka-2018, ndacima zonke iiakhawunti zeendaba zentlalo, ndophula i-smartphone yam, ndingabhaliswanga kunxibelelwano lwe-Intanethi ndabuya nemodem kwinkampani ye-intanethi. Ndahamba ndayobanda itonki ebandayo. Kodwa eyona nto indincedileyo nangakumbi yayikukuba ndifumana umnqweno (umbono, into yokucinga, into eyokwabelana ngesondo okanye malunga nokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo) Ndakhawuleza ndanika ingqondo yam enye into yokucinga njengengoma, uvavanyo oluzayo, iinombolo ezingahleliwe njl njl njl. Njl.… okoko ukuza kuthi ga kulo mhla, ukonwabisa nayiphi na ingcinga enjalo.
Ndikunye ne-nofap bendiye ndiyenza eminye imisebenzi enempilo njengokuya ejimini, ndithambisa imiboniso eshushu (nokuba bendikade ndibanda kangakanani na, kodwa andizukuncoma), kwaye nditye ndisempilweni. Ukutya usempilweni yinto enkulu kum. Andikhathaleli kuyo. Ke ndim 'dick' ongadliyo 'ukutya okungenantsingiselo' ngelixa ndikunye nabahlobo. Ndingumntu 'oziqhenyayo' ongadli naluphi na uhlobo lokutya okungenasondlo okanye isiselo endisinikwa zizalamane xa ndibatyelelayo. Kodwa ke ukutya ukutya okungenampilo kube kanye ngonyaka. Ngomhla wam wokuzalwa. Ngalo mhla, andikhathali ukuba yintoni engena esiswini sam. Kodwa ukusukela ngemini elandelayo, ndiza kubuyela kwinto yesiqhelo yam.
Ngoku phakathi kwayo yonke le nto, ndafundisisa. Andizi kuqhayisa ngam kodwa bendiqonda ukuba ndinokwazi kakhulu ukuba bendicinga ukuba kunjalo. Andizange ndithweswe isidanga kwiBachelors. Ndaye ndangena kwiMasters ndathweswa isidanga ngemibala ebhabha. Ukohloke uviwo lokufunda kunye ne-PhD yokungena. Namhlanje, ndingunjineli oncedisayo kwikholeji kwaye ndenza i-PhD yam kunye nayo. Emva ngelo xesha, andikwazanga ukubeka ingongoma yam phambi komhlobo wam kodwa namhlanje, ndifundisa iiklasi ngamandla phakathi kwe-40-50, amaxesha ama-3 ngosuku, kunye neentsuku ezi-5 ngeveki. Ukuzithemba kwam izulu liphezulu. Ndinikwe ilayisensi yokuhamba ngeenyawo xa ndikhwela kuNovemba ophelileyo. Ndiyakwazi ukubamba intetho kunye nabani na ngaphandle kwamandla. Okokuqala ebomini bam ndingatsho ukuba ndinabahlobo abangabafazi.
Andizange ndikwenze nanzima kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo. Ewe, ndakhe ndancedwa ngabafazi ngamanye amaxesha kodwa ndonyule ukuba ndinje. Ngokunyaniseka, kuninzi ekufuneka ndikwenzile ebomini bam. Kwaye kolu hambo, andicingi ukuba ndinganakho ukuhlawula umntu obhinqileyo, nditsho ngenxa yexesha elifutshane (ukuba uyazi ukuba ndithetha ukuthini).
Ke, nali ibali lam. Ndicime iakhawunti yam ye-reddit kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo ndicinga ukuba andisoze ndibuye. Kodwa namhlanje, kwento endiyiyo, le nkqutyana idlale indima enkulu kuyo. Ke, ndicinga ukuba kufuneka ndiyinike into engemva kokuba ndiyile le akhawunti ukuthumela le. Ndicinga ukwenza oku njenge-AMA. Ke, abahlobo bam baziva bekhululekile ukuba bandibuze nantoni na.
Hlela: -Kubantu abangaziwayo- enkosi ngegolide. Ithetha lukhulu kum.
by 23Agqirha
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