Bulisa kade uGary Wilson, odale yourbrainonporn.com, Alexander Rhodes, youtubers uMark Queppet, uSeth Alexander ngoncedo endilufumeneyo ngokuphuma esihogweni.
imvelaphi
Ndaboniswa iintengiso zempahla yangaphantsi yabasetyhini ebuntwaneni kakhulu (andikhumbuli, ndandimncinci kakhulu). Ukususela ebuntwaneni ndandinomdla kwimizimba yabasetyhini kwaye ndandingakwazi ukugcina amathupha am kude ne-porn. Ukukhula kwezinto zomdaniso wemiboniso bhanyabhanya yaseIndiya kwagqobhoza ubumsulwa bam ndisemncinci kakhulu. Uqale ngokuphulula amaphambili esemncinane kakhulu kwaye wayeziva engakhuselekanga. Ootitshala besikolo babehlala bekhetha kwaye bebathanda abafundi abafumana amanqaku aphezulu eklasini kwaye umndilili wam kodwa amabakala amahle ngokwaneleyo andenza ndizive ndingakhuselekanga kakhulu.
Ndisakhumbula mhla ndiqala ndazama ukuthetha nentombazana ekwigadi yabantwana abancinci – onke amakhwenkwe enza imigulukudu endibiza “ntombazana” endihleka. Ndisoyika kwaye ndilikheswa ndikhule ndingenabahlobo abaninzi kwaye ndingenalwazi malunga nokuhlalisana nabantu. Ukubetha iBanga lesi-6 kwakunzima kakhulu njengoko kwakufuneka ndibukele amakhwenkwe awayendibiza ngokuthi “ntombazana” ngokuthetha nentombazana encokolayo nokwenza ubuhlobo kunye nokusondelana ngokobuqu nawo onke amantombazana eklasini ngelixa mna ndibambekile ngandlela zonke. Ndandingakwazi nokwenza ubuhlobo namakhwenkwe.
Ngebanga leshumi ndandiqinisekile ukuba soze ndifumane ntombazana ndaqalisa ukucinga ngokutshintshela emakhwenkweni kuba ndandidiniwe kukuhlala ndedwa. Le ngcinga yandidibanisa namanye amadoda andazange ndonwabe ezizinto sizenzayo.
Ikholeji yayisisihogo kum. Ukubukela wonke umntu ehleli nabahlobo kwandenza ndingakhuselekanga kakhulu. Kulapho safumana ngexabiso eliphantsi kunye ne-intanethi ye-4g yasimahla ngelo xesha enkosi kwi-Reliance jio, ukusebenzisa kwam iphonografi kuye kwanda. Ndaqala ukubukela i-porn ubusuku bonke rhoqo ukusuka ngo-9 PM ukuya kwi-5 AM. Ixesha elide lokudlala kunye nokuphulula amalungu esini kwandenza ndaziva ndibuhlungu kakhulu kwaye ukuncama ixesha elixabisekileyo lokulala lalindifumana.
Izinto zaqala ukuba ngcono…
xa ngesizathu esithile ngenye imini ndaziva ndifuna ukukhangela "umlutha we-porn" kugoogle. Ukufunda iziphumo zophendlo kwandenza intliziyo yam yabetha ngamandla kwaye yandenza ndoyika. Ndafumanisa i-nofap.com ngaloo mini. Kwaye iphawula isiqalo solwazi lwam olunxulumene nokulutha kwe-porn kunye nohambo lokubuyisela oluthathe iminyaka eyi-6. Ndifunde umxholo omninzi ekwabelwana ngawo apha kwiiforam zethu, kwaye kukho amaxesha apho ndiziva ngathi akukho themba kum xa yonke into ebendinayo yayingamabali empumelelo ekwabelwana ngawo kulo msonto.
Ixesha lokugqibela ndifakela i-porn kunye ne-porn endilawulayo yayinguNov 1st 2022. Awusoze uyilibale loo mini. Ekugqibeleni ndawunqoba umlutha wam kwaye ndaqhubeka ndigqibezela i-streak enkulu yeenyanga ze-11 emva kwaloo mini. Nangona i-streak yam iphelile, yayiphantsi kwemimiselo yam phantsi kolawulo lwam - akukho manyala - kwaye andizisoli nangayiphi na indlela. Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukulawula kwam ubulili bam kwaye andisoze ndisebenzise i-porn.
Ukuba uziva ngathi awunakuyenza, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi buya busiba nzima, ungalibazisi undithumelele umyalezo. Ndiya kuhlala ndikuva. Ubalulekile, umhlaba uyakudinga kwaye uyakudinga kweyona meko ikuyo.
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