Okokuqala kancinci malunga nam: Ndiyindoda, i-37 kwaye bendibukele iphonografi kwi-Intanethi ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-20 ngoku. Andizange ndiyive iyingxaki kum.
Andizange ndibe nobudlelwane bothando okanye ngokwesondo, kuba ndandingenamdla kakhulu kuyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngamanye amaxesha ndandivakalelwa kukuba kuya kuba kuhle ukuba nomnye umntu obalulekileyo, kodwa oko kudla ngokuthatha usuku okanye ezimbini kuphela. Kuba ndandityebe kakhulu kwaye ndineentloni andizange ndibe nayo “ingxaki”/”yobunewunewu” yokusondela nje ngabasetyhini ngendlela yezesondo. Kuba mhlawumbi ndinayo imo ethambileyo ye-Aspergers ndinokuthi ndingaqaphelanga ukuba abafazi beza kum ngolo hlobo ...
Malunga ne-2 1/2 kwiinyanga ezidlulileyo ndiyekile ukubukela i-porn. Ikakhulu ngenxa yokuba ndandinomdla wokuba ndingumlutha, kwaye ngenxa yokuba ndifunde ukuba ungafumana "inkungu yengqondo" encinci, njl. kwaye ndingayisebenzisa ngokwenene ukuba ndigqibezele i-PhD yam. Ngoko uvavanyo lwaqaliswa ukubona ukuba ndingahamba ixesha elingakanani ngaphandle kokubukela i-porn kwaye emva koko (kuba ndingenayo nayiphi na ingxaki) ukuqhubeka nayo.
Ngelo xesha ndandi (kwaye ndibe neminyaka) mhlawumbi ndibukele malunga ne-2h ye-porn ngosuku kwaye ndandiphulula i-masturbating kuyo amaxesha amaninzi ngosuku. Ukubandakanya ukuququzela kuyo ngamanye amaxesha ngaphezulu kweyure. Ngoko ke ngokuqinisekileyo into ongafanele uyenze.
Khawucinge nje ngokumangaliswa kwam xa ndifumanisa ukuba ndingayeka ... Andizange ndiphinde ndibuyele emva kwaye andizange ndifune ukubukela i-porn ukususela ngoko. Ekubeni yayiluvavanyo (kwaye ngokwenene ndandithanda ukungachithi iiyure zosuku lwam ukubukela i-porn) ndaqhubeka ndihamba. Ndaqhubeka ndiphulula i-masturbating kwiingcamango malunga nabasetyhini endibaziyo kwaye ndifumene ekhangayo (into endihlala ndiyenza ngamaxesha athile, nangona ndibukele i-pornography).
Ngoko ndacinga ukuba oku kuya kuba njalo. Ndabonakala ndingenalo ikhoboka le-porn kwaye ndacinga ukuba ndiza kuphinda ndiyibukele kwakhona, kodwa ndifuna ukubona ukuba ndingahamba ixesha elingakanani ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi.
Khawucinge nje ngokumangaliswa kwam xa emva kweenyanga ze-2 ngaphandle kwe-porn ngokukhawuleza ndafumana umnqweno wokuthetha nabantu (bobabini besini), jonga abantu esitratweni emehlweni kwaye ndincume kubo, ndiphume nabahlobo, .... Ukongeza, ndikwanochuku ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Ngokwenene kuthathe ixesha elide de ndaqonda ukuba oku mhlawumbi kunento yokwenza nokuyeka iphonografi ...
Ndicinga ukuba konke oku kuvakala kumnandi, kwaye kwaba njalo. Ngokwenene ndandiziva ngathi ndingowasehlabathini okokuqala kwaye ekugqibeleni ndayiqonda into eyayibonwa ngabanye ngokunxulumana nabantu.
Oko ke de ndandwendwela ikholeji yangaphambili yomsebenzi wabasetyhini iintsuku ezimbalwa kwaye ndaqonda ukuba eneneni ndineemvakalelo ezinzulu ngaye. Uceba ukutshata ngokukhawuleza kakhulu ngoko ke akukho nto inokwenziwa ngokwenene, kodwa ngokusisiseko ndandikhala ubusuku bonke kwigumbi lam lehotele kuba ndilapha: Intombi enyulu eneminyaka engama-37 ubudala enamava afanayo ekuthandeni nasekunxibelelaneni nabasetyhini kunokuba umntu oneminyaka eli-10 ubudala
Ndisanda kuqonda ukuba ngokwenene ndiyamthanda umntu ngokunzulu okokuqala ebomini bam, ndilungiselele ubomi bam bonke malunga nento yokuba ndiza kuba ndedwa (kwaye ndandilungile ngokupheleleyo ngaloo nto) kwaye ngequbuliso ndinomnqweno onzulu wokufumana. umhlobo oyintombazana.
Ukongeza, ndiye ndaqaphela ukuba ukumiswa kwam ngoku kubuthathaka kakhulu kunokuba bekunjalo ngaphambili (into endingazange ndibe nayo nayiphi na ingxaki) enokuba luxinzelelo lweemvakalelo okanye uhlobo oluthambileyo lwe-flatline. Oku kubangele uloyiko lokuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa ndingakwazi ukuphakama xa ndikunye nomfazi. Andizange ndikhathazeke ngaloo nto kuba andizange ndiyicinge into enje. Ukongeza, bendineentsuku ezimbini kwiiveki ezimbini ukusukela oko kwenzeka yonke le nto kwaye ndiyoyika kule meko ndikuyo ndiza kuthatha intombazana yokuqala ezimiseleyo.
Ke, ngoku ndikwimeko yokuba ndikwazi ukuyeka i-porn ngokulula ukusuka kwindawo yokukhanukela, kodwa ndisondele kakhulu ukuba ndiqale ukuyibukela kwakhona ukuze ndiphazamise iimvakalelo zam kuba ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva ndibi kakhulu kunokuba ndibukele i-porn... Kodwa ndiyayithanda kakhulu indlela endinxibelelana ngayo nabantu kwaye andifuni kuphulukana nayo.
Ndicinga ukuba akukho nqaku lokwenyani kule post. Kwafuneka ndiyisuse nje lento esifubeni sam. Enkosi ngokufunda…
LINK - Amava am ukusuka kuvavanyo ukuya ekutshintsheni ubomi - Andiqinisekanga ukuba ndiyazithanda iziphumo
by SimonsM23
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