Kulungile bafana, ndiyenzile. Iproverbial 90 day reboot yenze ukuba isondo sibe mnandi ngakumbi. Umngeni wam wokuba ndiyeke i-porn. Ngoku ndineentsuku ezingama-91. Ukuyikhupha nje indlela ndiyeke kuphela iphonografi. Andikho kubudlelwane obuzinzileyo.Ndisanda kuphuma kubudlelwane kwaye ndithandana kwakhona. Oku kube luhlengahlengiso olukhulu emva kweminyaka emi-6 ye-LTR. Nangona kunjalo, bendisabelana ngesondo kwezi nyanga zintathu, amaxesha ambalwa nabantu aba-4 abahlukeneyo.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kumnandi ngakumbi
Ndicinga ukuba akukho porn indincedile kakhulu ngokuqhuba ngakumbi kwizinto ezininzi. Kubandakanya ukuqhubela kwam ukudibana nabasetyhini. Kwakhona, andizange ndikwazi ukuzonwabisa ngesondo ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke kwaye emva kokuyeka kungekhona nje ukuba isondo sijabule ngakumbi. Ndiyakwazi ukwenza izinto ngokwesondo ebendingakwazi ukuzenza ixesha elide. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuyonwabisa ngakumbi kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo, kwaye ndinokufikelela kuvuthondaba ngokukhawuleza. Inye into endingazange ndikwazi ukuyenza ngaphambili yayikukufikelela kuvuthondaba nomntu ngomhla wokuqala. Kukho ukwanda kobuntununtunu belungu kunye ne-girth.
Ngoku ndiyakwazi uku-M ukuya ku-O ngaphandle kokujonga u-P, nto leyo endandingacingi ukuba ndingayenza. Abangazange bakwazi ukwenza oko ukususela kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo. Ndina 41 ngoku. Ukulibaziseka kwe-ejaculation yinto endihlala ndinayo, endicinga ukuba iyagqithisa kwaye mhlawumbi ibangelwa ukusetyenziswa kwe-porn.
Ngaba singadibanisa i-PIDE eshunqulelweyo ukuhamba ne-PIED? I-PIDE yohlukile kwi-ED kuba ukuhlala nzima akuyongxaki kodwa ukufikelela kuvuthondaba kuba nzima ukufezekisa. Uqhelana nokuzilungisa kunye nengcaciso ye-porn. Ndicinga ukuba iphonografi ecacileyo ikwenza ungabi namvakalelo emzimbeni nasengqondweni. Oku kudala umkhwa wokusukela i-dopamine wokuziphulula amaphambili. Xa ukhetha ukuvuselela okubonakalayo kwi-masturbation uziqeqesha ukuba uxhomekeke kuloo nto. Xa uyisusa kamva, ufumanisa ukuba awukwazi nokuphulula amalungu esini ngaphandle kwayo. Izikhundla kunye nezantya ezonwabisayo zimiliselwa kwinethiwekhi yakho ye-neural kwaye ekugqibeleni awukwazi ukonwabela ukwahluka. Oku kuyafunxa, kuvakala ngathi uya kusikelwa umda endaweni yokuba ukhule njengomntu onesondo. Ikwadika neqabane lakho kwaye libenze bazive bengakhuselekanga.
Ukuba likhoboka lephonografi kufana nezinye izikhobokisa
Ndiyazi ukuba kukho iingxabano malunga nokuba i-porn kunye nesondo ngokwemithambo-luvo iyafana neziyobisi, Andifuni ukuba ndiyazi isayensi kule nto, kodwa isandi ngokwesayensi kwaye ndiyakwazi ukungqina ngokusuka kumava ukuba nayiphi na into eyonwabisayo inokwakheka ibe ngumkhwa, kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na loo nto isixa solonwabo olufumana kuyo luyancipha. ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Oko kufana neziyobisi kunye nokukhotyokiswa kokutya. Kungenxa yoko le nto abantu befuna ngakumbi kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukufumana imivuzo efanayo, esi sisisiseko sesayensi ye-dopamine.
Ke iphonografi akufuneki isebenze iindlela ezifanayo ze-neural njengecrack ukuze ube likhoboka. Kwangqinwa ukuba ukuthandana kuyenza isebenze ingqondo ngendlela efanayo necrack. Umlutha wesondo, umlutha wothando kunye nokuba likhoboka lephonografi azitshintshi ngokuthe ngqo. Nangona kunjalo, enye inokuwela kwelinye xa enye okanye enye ingafumaneki. Ukuba ulahlekelwa lufikelelo kumlutha wakho ngoko kuya kwenzeka ukuba uwubuyisele ngenye into endaweni yawo. Izinxila ziba neswekile toothy emva kokuyeka umzekelo.
Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyeke iphonografi kunye notywala ndachitha iinyanga ezininzi ndizikhulula. Ndingacebisa ukwenza oko. Ukuba useno-“relapses” mhlawumbi kulula ukuyimisela kwakhona njengexesha lokulunyulwa. Oko kuphambi kokuba uyeke ngokusisigxina.
Amaza e-anhedonia
Oko ndayekayo andizange ndibe neminqweno enamandla yayo nantoni na, kodwa ndingumntu odandathekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo ndiye ndeva amaza e-anhedonia. Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni i-anhedonia kunceda ukuba unganikezeli ekubuyeleni kwakhona nje ukuyisusa njengesiqingatha seyure. Akukho ndlela yokuphuma kwi-anhedonia ngaphandle kwexesha, mhlawumbi imithambo yokuphefumla, ishawa ebandayo, ukusebenza nzima, okanye itshokholethi eninzi eyenza i-oxytocin. Ngelo xesha sibuyela kwizinto njengeendlela zokuhlangabezana, ezingakuncediyo ixesha elide. Kodwa ndiyavuma ukuba ndisebenzisa i-tshokoleta ukuthoba iimpawu zam zokurhoxa kwizenzo ezigwenxa. Kufuneka ndikhumbule ukuba ndingabi likhoboka letshokholethi. Ubudala bam bukwanegalelo ekukwazini ukunqanda iminqweno, ngenxa yokuncipha okuncinci kwe-libido okuza ngokwemvelo, ngoko ke ndibaqhwabela izandla abantu abancinci ngokukwazi ukwenza nayiphi na imingeni yeNoFap. Bekuya kuba nzima kakhulu kum ukwenza njengomfana ongatshatanga.
Hayi ngaphandle kwehlathi
Kwisihloko ndithi andiphumi ehlathini, iinyanga ezintathu azikho kangako kwaye ndibona oku njengoloyiso oluncinci. Nangona ndiphumelele ukuyeka iphonografi, ukusela, ukhula, ukuluma izikhonkwane, kwaye ndafumana imikhwa enempilo efana neevithamini zemihla ngemihla, ukuzilolonga, ukolula, ukucamngca kunye neeseshoni zokufunda, ndiseneengxaki zeemvakalelo. Maxa wambi ndikhe ndibe ne-anhedonia, kwaye ndisazibetha. Ndiya kuhlala ndinolindelo oluphezulu kum kodwa, ndiyathemba ukuba ndiza kuba yinkosi yesizinda sam ngokweemvakalelo kunye nemikhwa. Ukuxhomekeka kancinci. Unomtsalane ngakumbi kwaye unexabiso njengomntu olungeleleneyo.
Enye yemihla endandisandula ukundiphazamisa ngayo ngokupheleleyo, kuba isondo besonwabile kwaye siyamangalisa, ndiye ndancamathela kakhulu kwaye ndancamathela kwiveki elandelayo kwaye ndamoyika ngokupheleleyo. Izicwangciso esinazo zomhla wesibini zaphoswa emoyeni, ngenxa yokuba ndandingapholanga ngokwaneleyo kwaye ndidibanisa imiyalezo.
Ndidlule kwi-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo ngekuphetshwa ukuba ndandingakhuselekanga kangako. Ngethamsanqa, andizange ndiphinde ndibuyele kwiindlela zokuhlangabezana nezingafanelekanga, ngaphandle kwenqanaba elisisiseko elisisiqalo sokusebenzisa ubugwenxa, ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo, ukucinga kwehlabathi, kunye nokungabikho kwembono, ukwesaba okungaziwayo. Ndaphulukana nombono wakhe weemvakalelo kunye nendawo kuba ndandifuna ukwazi into engaziwayo, ukuba zazithini iimvakalelo zakhe kum ukuze ndiqinisekiswe kwaye ndiqinisekise uloyiko lwam kunye nokuzithandabuza emva komhla wokuqala.
Umntwana owonzakeleyo engqondweni yam
Andiyibophelelanga le nto kwi-porn njengesizathu, kodwa i-porn kunye nezinye izinto ezimbi yayiziindlela zam zokujongana necala lam elingena kuloyiko, intlungu yemiba yokuzithemba enzulu evela kumntwana ohamba yedwa, amaxesha apho. Ndandingamakheswa kakhulu, ndandidla ngokungcungcuthekiswa, ndingafunwa, yaye ndandineminyaka yokudandatheka nokubhideka ngabantu xa ndandimdala.
Sonke sinabo aba bantwana bonzakeleyo ngaphakathi kwengqondo yethu bakhalela ukuhoywa kwaye sihlohla imichiza phezu kwabo ukuze batshone. Kufana nokunika umntwana wakho wangaphakathi i-pacifier kodwa engatshintshi i-diaper engcolileyo. Sakuba siyisusile loo mikhwa imbi sinokuqalisa ukuziphulaphula, njengokuba kubuhlungu kangakanani na. Emva koko sinokuthoba uloyiko lwethu ngokuziqinisekisa, imfesane, kunye nemikhwa enempilo esenza somelele ngokwaneleyo kangangokuba uloyiko lungakwazi ukuqhuba umboniso.
Ngokucacileyo ndisasebenza kule nto, kodwa njengoko ndihlala ndizibophelele ekukhuleni, ndifumana ukuzithemba ngakumbi kusenza kancinci kancinci. Kwixesha elizayo xa ndidibana nomntu endimthandayo mhlawumbi ndiza kufika kulaa mhla wesibini. Phila kwaye ufunde, kwaye uvuke uzame kwakhona ngenye imini.
Ukubaluleka koqhagamshelwano
Ukunqongophala konxibelelwano lwentlalo mhlawumbi sesona sizathu siphambili sokulutha. Izenzo ezimbi esizifaka kuzo zi-hacks zokuhlutha kokuxhomekeka kwikhemikhali yendalo ekhoyo ukusenza sibophene kwaye siqhubeke nohlobo. Wonke umntu udinga unxibelelwano lwentlalo kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kwaye ixesha lethu langoku lakha ngokutsha lonke ulwakhiwo lwenkcubeko noqoqosho malunga nokwenza ingeniso kulwaneliseko olukhawulezileyo. Iinkampani zisinika ulwaneliseko olukhawulezileyo olusikhulula ngokwekhemikhali kumsebenzi onzima ngakumbi wokwenza amaqhina oluntu. Asigqithisi nje imali yethu kwezi nkampani kodwa ixesha lethu kunye neendawo zethu zokuhlala. Okukhona siyivumela kokukhona siba ngabantwana abangafuniyo ukwenza izigqibo okanye isisu nayiphi na inkqubo yokufumana into esiyifunayo.
Iphonografi ikuhluthisa ngengubo yokungafuni abantu. Abantu bayandilimaza ukuze ndifumane indlela yokuba ndingabadingi, ndinqumle ukuleqa ukuya esiphelweni sohambo lonke lokwenza abahlobo, ukufumana ubungqina bentlalontle, ukuchukumisa umntu obhinqileyo kunye nokuba nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kwaye ndimane ndizanelisa ngombono ocacileyo. ngesondo. Kufuneka uthembele, kufuneka uzame.
Ndinethemba ngekamva
Ndinethemba lokuba kwiintsuku zam ezizayo ezingama-90 zokuziphatha kunye nokuzilawula ndikhululekile kwi-anhedonia, ndiyakwazi ukuchacha ngokukhawuleza ekuphoxekeni, ndilawule ixesha lam ngcono kwaye ndenze izigqibo ezinzima malunga nendlela yam yobomi ngokuqiniseka ngakumbi. Ndichithe lonke ixesha ndijonge kwi-porn ndibukele iividiyo malunga ne-neuroscience. Isifundo soxinzelelo, ukuphakamisa ukungcangcazela kwam, iingenelo zokucamngca, iZen Buddhism, kunye neminye imixholo emininzi endinceda ukuba ndomeleze amandla am okuthintela iimvakalelo zokuphelelwa lithemba ezibangelwa kukuba ndikhe ndahlukana kwaye ndinoxinzelelo. Ngenxa yoko, ayisiyiyo kuphela into eyonwabisayo yokwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi ndiziva sele ndikhulisa unxibelelwano nabantu endibakhathalelayo kwaye ndenza unxibelelwano olutsha. Leyo yeyona njongo yam, ukuba yinxalenye yeli hlabathi, ukunika nokufumana uthando olungenasiphelo.
Ukuchuma.
LINK - Iintsuku ezingama-90 zigqityiwe, kodwa andiphumanga ehlathini.
Ngu - u/wervil
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