Kule veki iphelileyo kukho i-comment eyenziwe ngomnye weforum apha endikhathaza kakhulu. Uthe:
Ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kuba nenzondo ngale nto kodwa kunjalo, kufuneka ndikhanyisele abanye benu. Uninzi lwabantu abalapha abanakuze bayiyeke ngokupheleleyo i-PMO okanye bayenze idlule iintsuku ezili-100. Ndiyazi ukuba abantu kufuneka bahlale bekhuthazekile kodwa kunzima.
Iyandikhathaza ke le ngoba ayiyonyani. Kwaye iyandikhathaza ke loo nto kuba ndifuna wonke umntu okweli qonga aphumelele. Sele ingaphezulu kweminyaka emi-3 ukusukela oko ndifumene ukuhlangana kwakhona/YBOP kwaye sele kuphantse ukuba ngunyaka omnye oko idale le forum. Ndiyibonile yonke. Ndiyifunde yonke. Andisaziboni ndilikhoboka lephonografi.
UGary Wilson noMarnia Robinson bangoovulindlela bokwenyani kule ntsimi. Siyabulela kubo ukuba sinamawaka amadoda emhlabeni wonke ezama ukuyeka i-porn ngokusekelwe ekuqondeni kwesayensi malunga nendlela echaphazela ngayo ubuchopho bethu. Ndiya kuhlala ndinombulelo kubo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuqonda kwezesayensi akwanelanga, njengoko kungqinwa sisixa esikhulu se-rebooters esisokolayo kwaye sinexesha elinzima nalo mkhwa.
Into endizonibalisela yona ayiyonto intsha. Mhlawumbi sele uyifundile kwenye indawo. Kodwa ayinikwa kubaluleka ngokwaneleyo apha. Abantu banexhala kakhulu malunga ne-porn eyenziwe yi-ED, i-dopamine le kunye ne-dopamine ukuba, amanqanaba e-testosterone, amaphupha amanzi, njl.
Lo msonto awenzelwanga ukuba ube nenkuthazo. Inkuthazo yeyexeshana. Ungabukela intengiso yebhola ekhatywayo ye-Nike kwi-YouTube, ufumane konke ukupompa kwaye ukhuthazeke, emva koko ubuyele emva kweentsuku ezi-4. Ayithethi nto.
Lo msonto wenzelwe ukunika ukuqonda. Yenzelwe ukukunika isiqwenga sokugqibela sephazili efunekayo ukuze woyise umlutha wephonografi.
Ndiyakholwa, ukusuka emazantsi entliziyo yam, ukuba nabani na oqondayo kwaye asebenzise into endiza kubelana ngayo apha uya kuphumelela ukuyeka i-porn.
Konke okufuneka ukwenze kukuphepha ukwenza ezi mpazamo zi-3.
Nceda uthathe ixesha lakho ukuze thabatha ngokwenene into oza kuyifunda ngokulandelayo. Le nto ayicacanga kwaye amadoda amaninzi awayazi ngokupheleleyo, ngakumbi abo batsha ekuqaliseni kwakhona. Abaqalisi abaphumeleleyo mhlawumbi abayi kuxhamla kakhulu kulo msonto.
Hlala phantsi, thatha ixesha lakho, kwaye uye kuthabatha ikomityi yekofu okanye iti, njengoko ndiza kukwabelana nawe ngeempazamo ezi-3 ezibulalayo ezinokwenziwa yi-rebooter.
Ikhonkco #1: Ukusebenzisa i-Porn ukuze uyeke ukuziva kakubi
Abantu abangayiqondiyo le mpazamo baya kuba nexesha elinzima kakhulu lokuyeka i-porn.
Oku kuqhele ukwenzeka:
Uxinezeleke kakhulu ngomsebenzi okanye isikolo. Uchithe yonke imini yakho usebenza iesile phantsi koxinzelelo kwaye uyazi ukuba iintsuku ezizayo ziya kufana. Kukho iintlungu emzimbeni wakho. Udiniwe ngokwasengqondweni. Ufuna ukuphumla kwaye uzive ulungile. Ke ngoku wenzantoni? Bukela amanyala.
Uphuma uyokonwaba ngobunye ubusuku. Kukho intombazana enye oyithanda kakhulu, ngoko uzama ukuthetha nayo, kodwa ayikuhoyi. Omnye wabahlobo bakho abaphumayo uhlala emhlekisa ngeziqhulo zakhe. Unomona. Uzixelele ukuba "Fuck this shit" kwaye uqalise ukusondela kwabanye abafazi kanye apho. Bonke bayakucekisa. Namnye kubo uthe kuwe, "Suka kum!" Ubuyela ekhaya uziva ukhathazeke kakhulu. Umoya wakho uphantsi kakhulu. Uqala ukuzibuza ukuba uya kuze ukwazi ukufumana intombi entle. Ufumana ukudandatheka okwethutyana. Kubuhlungu. Ufuna ukubaleka ezi mvakalelo. Ke ngoku wenzantoni? Bukela amanyala.
Uphume usela phezolo. Ubuzonwabele kakhulu, kodwa ngoku ushiyeke une-hangover embi. Unentloko ebuhlungu, isicaphucaphu, isisu esibuhlungu. Awukwazi ukugxila okanye wenze nantoni na. Ulele nje apho usela iGatorade. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba ne-hungover kunzima. Ufuna ukuyeka ukuziva kakubi, ubuncinane imizuzwana embalwa. Ke ngoku wenzantoni? Bukela amanyala.
Udikiwe ngathi ugezekile endlini yakho. Wena nobuvila uba banye. Awukho semdleni wayo nantoni na, ungabukeli nomboniso bhanyabhanya. Ukukruquka, ukukruquka, kunye nokukruquka ngakumbi. Ngubani ofuna ukuziva ekruqukile? Akukho mntu. Ixesha lihamba kancinci. Akukho nto imnandi. Uya kuFacebook kwaye akukho zihlaziyo zinomdla. Uhlaziya iiforum zakho ozithandayo kwaye akukho mpendulo zintsha kwizithuba zakho. Akukho nto yakwenza. Uqala ukuba nexhala kwaye ungaphumli. Ke ngoku wenzantoni? Bukela amanyala.
Nceda, yiyeke le nto.
Kufuneka uyeke ukuzinyanga nge-porn ngalo lonke ixesha usiva iintlungu kunye nokungonwabi.
Oku kukungazi ngobunyani bobomi.
Uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, ukudakumba, ukuxhoma, ukukruquka, ukwenzakala, iintlungu zomzimba, ixhala, iintloni. Uyazi ukuba ziyintoni na? Uyazi ukuba zibizwa ntoni?
Bayabizwa UBOMI.
Musa ukubaleka ebomini. Musa ukuyibaleka inyaniso.
Asinakuze sonwabe ukuba siqhubeka sisenza oku.
KuBuddhism oku kubizwa ngokuba kukucekisa. Ukubaleka iintlungu. Ukubaleka ukungonwabi.
Zonke ezi mvakalelo zimbi zezokwexeshana. Ukukruquka, uxinzelelo, ukuxhoma, ukuziva uphantsi. Bonke baya kudlula.
Ukuba sihlala sisabela kwi-porn kwaye sibaleka kwiintlungu kunye nokungakhululeki ngoko asisoze sikwazi ukukhula njengabantu kwaye sibe ngamadoda okwenyani.
Kufuneka siwuqhawule lo mjikelo. Okanye ubuncinci zama.
Kungenjalo, uza kwenza ntoni xa izinto ziba nzima ebomini? Fihla egumbini lakho? Ngaba udandathekile?
Uya kuthini xa ufumanisa ukuba ukubetha amantombazana kuzisa ixhala kunye novalo? Baleka? Yenza izizathu?
Uzakwenza ntoni xa uvaleleke kwi-traffic jam iiyure ezi-2 kwaye ulambile ngathi? Ukhalaze? Betha uphondo ngokungapheliyo?
Uza kwenza ntoni xa ufumanisa ukuba ukwehla emzimbeni akukho lula njengoko ubucinga ukuba kuya kuba njalo? Ncama? Ukuzinkcinkca ngokutya okungenamsoco?
Kufuneka siyeke ukusebenzisa i-porn njengento yokuphelisa iintlungu.
Kufuneka sijamelane nenyaniso, singayibalekeli.
Ndicela uqonde ukuba ndithetha ngantoni apha. Ukuba uyayenza loo nto uya kuba nakho ukuchonga ngalo lonke ixesha usebenzisa i-porn njengendlela yokubaleka.
Funda ngenyameko isicatshulwa esilandelayo sithathwe kuMazwi kaBuddha:
Eyokuqala yale mahluko, ezotywe kwiSibhalo I,2(1), ijikeleze impendulo kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Bobabini ihlabathi kunye nomfundi ohloniphekileyo bafumana iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu zomzimba, kodwa basabela kwezi mvakalelo ngokwahlukileyo. Ihlabathi libaphendula ngokuzonda kwaye ngoko ke, phezu kwemvakalelo ebuhlungu yomzimba, nayo ivakalelwa yintlungu yengqondo: intlungu, intukuthelo, okanye uxinzelelo. Umfundi obekekileyo, xa ecinezelwe ziintlungu zomzimba, unyamezela loo mvakalelo ngomonde, ngaphandle kosizi, ingqumbo, okanye unxunguphalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kucingelwa ukuba iintlungu zomzimba nezengqondo zidityanisiwe, kodwa uBuddha wenza umda ocacileyo phakathi kwezi zimbini. Ukholelwa kwelokuba nangona ubukho bomzimba bubotshelelwe bubuhlungu obungokomzimba, loo ntlungu akuyomfuneko ukuba ibangele ukubandezeleka ngokweemvakalelo, uloyiko, ingqumbo, nonxunguphalo esisoloko sisabela ngalo kuzo. Ngoqeqesho lwengqondo sinokuhlakulela ukuqonda kunye nokuqonda okucacileyo okufunekayo ukunyamezela intlungu yomzimba ngesibindi, ngomonde kunye nokulingana. Ngokuqonda sinokuphuhlisa ubulumko obaneleyo bokoyisa uloyiko lwethu lweemvakalelo ezibuhlungu kunye nesidingo sethu sokufuna isiqabu ekuphazamiseni ukuzinkcinkca kokwanelisa inkanuko.
“Monks, xa umntu wehlabathi ongafundiswanga efumana imvakalelo ebuhlungu, uba buhlungu, abe buhlungu, kwaye abe nesijwili; ulila ezibetha isifuba kwaye uyadakumba. Uneemvakalelo ezimbini—eyomzimba neyengqondo. Masithi babetha umntu ngomtolo, baze ngoko nangoko emva koko bambethe ngotolo lwesibini, ukuze loo ndoda ive imvakalelo ebangelwe yimitolo emibini. Ngokukwanjalo ke, xa umntu wehlabathi ongafundiswanga esiba neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu, uba neemvakalelo ezimbini—eyomzimba neyengqondo.
“Ngelixa ekhathazwa kwaloo ntlungu ifanayo, uhlala eyicaphukela. Xa ezithiyile iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, utyekelo olusisiseko lokuchasa iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu lusemva koku. Ngoxa eneentlungu, ufuna uyolo lokwenyama. Ngasiphi isizathu? Ngenxa yokuba umntu wehlabathi ongafundiswanga akazi nanye indlela yokuphuma kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu ngaphandle kolonwabo lwenyama. Xa efuna uyolo lwenkanuko yesini, utyekelo olusisiseko lokunqwenela imvakalelo eyolisayo lusemva koku. Akaqondi njengoko ngokwenene iyimvelaphi kunye nokudlula, ulwaneliseko, ingozi, kunye nokuphunyuka kwimeko yezi mvakalelo. Xa engaziqondi ezi zinto, utyekelo olusisiseko lokungazi ngokubhekisele kwimvakalelo ebuhlungu okanye engathandekiyo isemva koku.
Ukuba uziva emnandi, uziva esondele. Ukuba uziva ebuhlungu, uziva ebotshelelwe. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba akukho ntlungu-okanye ingathandekiyo, uziva esondelelene. Oku, iimonki, kubizwa ngokuba ngumntu wehlabathi ongafundiswanga onamathele ekuzalweni, ukwaluphala, nokufa; onxibelelene nosizi, isijwili, intlungu, ukudakumba, nokuphelelwa lithemba; ngubani onamathele ekubandezelekeni, ndithi.
“Monks, xa umfundi obekekileyo efumana imvakalelo ebuhlungu, akabi lusizi, akabi lusizi, okanye alile; akalili ebetha isifuba sakhe akhathazeke. Uva nemvakalelo enye—eyomzimba, kungekhona eyasengqondweni. Masithi babetha umntu ngomtolo, kodwa abazange bambethe kwangoko emva koko nangotolo lwesibini, ukuze loo ndoda ive imvakalelo ebangelwa ngumkhonto omnye kuphela. Ngokukwanjalo ke, xa umfundi obekekileyo esiva intlungu ebuhlungu, uva enye imvakalelo—eyomzimba, ingeyiyo eyasengqondweni.
“Ngelixa ekwintlungu efanayo, akananzondo kuyo. Ekubeni engazithiyile iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, utyekelo olusisiseko lokuchasa iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu azikho emva koku. Ngoxa esezintlungwini, akafuni uyolo lokwenyama. Ngasiphi isizathu? Kuba umfundi obekekileyo uyazi ngokubaleka kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu ngaphandle kolonwabo lwenyama. Ekubeni engalufuni uyolo lwenkanuko yenyama, utyekelo olusisiseko lokukhanukela ulonwabo alupheleli emva koku. Uyaqonda njengoko ngokwenene iyimvelaphi kunye nokudlula, ukwaneliseka, ingozi, kunye nokuphepha kwimeko yezi mvakalelo. Ekubeni eziqonda ezi zinto, utyekelo olusisiseko lokungazi ngokuphathelele iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu okanye ezingathandekiyo azikho emva koku.
"Ukuba uziva enomdla, uziva ekhululekile. Ukuba uva imvakalelo ebuhlungu, uvakalelwa kukuba ivaliwe. Ukuba uziva engeyiyo-intlungu-okanye-imvakalelo engathandekiyo, uziva evalelwe. Oku, iimonki, kubizwa ngokuba ngumfundi obekekileyo othe wahlukana nokuzalwa, ukwaluphala, nokufa; othe qelele kwintlungu, isijwili, intlungu, ukudakumba, nokuphelelwa lithemba; ngubani ohluthwe ekubandezelekeni, ndithi.
"Lo, iimonki, ngumahluko, ukungalingani, umahluko phakathi komfundi ohloniphekileyo oqeqeshiweyo kunye nehlabathi elingafundiswanga."
(SN 36:6; IV 207–10)
Ikhonkco #2: Ukuziqinisa Ngalo lonke ixesha Ubuyela Umva
Kulungile, ngoko "uphinde wabuyela".
Yehlisa umoya. Phefumla.
Yeka idrama. Yekisa "Iyandidika lento” izimvo.
Musa ukuba nomsindo. Musa ukuziva unetyala.
Ayizukunceda nto.
Ndenza le mpazamo amaxesha amaninzi kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Funda ijenali yam. Ndandingumntu “ophinda-phinda okwexeshana” njengoko abanye betshilo.
Nantsi into eqhelekileyo:
Umfana uphinda aphulukane ne-porn. Wayengasenakuyithatha kwakhona kwaye wayeneseshoni ye-porn yeyure ende. Emva kokuba egqibile, uziva ebuhlungu kuye. Uza kwiforamu kwaye athumele kwijenali yakhe.
"Yhini le ndiyiyo"
"I can't believe I gave in, ndizoze ndiyibethe njani lento?"
"Ndonele yile kaka"
"Ubomi bam bubolile"
Ngamanye amaxesha uziva enomsindo. Ngamanye amaxesha uziva enetyala. Ngamanye amaxesha uziva edakumbile. Ukuthatha ngokunzulu ukuphinda abuyele kwaye aphele eziva kakubi kakhulu kuye. Emva koko uyahamba kwaye enze impazamo #1 ukuze ayeke ukuziva kakubi, okuya kumenza azive kakubi emva koko. Ngoko uyazinkcinkca de aphele ngokupheleleyo. Emva koko uzama ukuqalisa kwakhona, ehlala engazi ngokupheleleyo ngempazamo yakhe. Kwiintsuku ezithile kamva uyaphinda abuyele kwakhona aze aphinde azibhokoxe ngamandla, engakwazi ukwahlukana nalo mjikelo.
Mamela, kwixesha elizayo uphinda ubuyele, musa ukuziqinisa. Yehlisa umoya. Vula i-"relapse spreadsheet" yakho (endikholelwa ukuba wonke umntu kufuneka abe nayo) kwaye uphawule umhla wangoku ngo-X. Emva koko uzolile ubuyele endleleni ngokukhawuleza. Nciphisa ukuzinkcinkca kwakho kangangoko unako. Awubuyi ku-zero ngalo lonke ixesha ubukele i-porn.
Kukho le nkolelo iyonakalisayo kwiforum yokuba impumelelo ilinganiswa ngokuba zingaphi iintsuku ezithe tye ohamba ngazo ngaphandle kwe-porn.
Kukho iHolo yoDumo, ewe, kodwa le yindlela nje yokukhuthaza abantu. Ayingombonakaliso wokuba uphumelele okanye awuphumelelanga.
Nceda uqonde. Masisebenzise ingqiqo apha.
Ukuba umfana uhamba ekubukeleni i-porn yonke imihla ukuya kwi-porn 3-4 amaxesha ngenyanga, ngoko sele ephumelele.
Kutheni le nto umntu onjengaye esoloko eziqinisa ngalo lonke ixesha ephinda ephinda? Ayenzi ngqiqo. Uhamba phambili kwizigidi zamadoda ehlabathini lonke axhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kwiphonografi.
Ekuphela kwento ekufuneka ayenze kukuhlala ezama ukunciphisa inani lokuphinda abuye ngenyanga. Yiyo loo nto ndikholelwa ukuba ukuba ne-spreadsheet kubalulekile. Kuya kumnika imbono ethile malunga nenkqubela phambili yakhe.
Ngokuhamba kwexesha uya kufumanisa ukuba isiphumo sokusukela siphulukana namandla. Ukubuyela kwindlela emva kokuphinda ubuyele kuba lula kwaye kulula.
Unako okanye angabi nako ukungena kwiHolo yoDumo, kodwa akunamsebenzi. Ukukhotyokiswa akusenako ukulawula kuye.
Oko, bahlobo bam, yimpumelelo yokwenene.
Kwaye into yokuba ulilungu le forum kwaye uzama ukushiya iphonografi emva kwesizathu esaneleyo sokuba nekratshi kwaye uyeke ukuzibetha.
Ikhonkco #3: Ukujolisa kakhulu OKUNGAJONGI i-Porn
Qikelela ukuba?
Ukuba ucinga ngokungabukeli i-porn, ucinga nge-porn.
Logama nje iphonografi isengqondweni yakho, uya kuba nengxaki enkulu ukuyiyeka.
Indlela echanekileyo kukuba nje libala ngayo.
Yeka ukuzicingela ukuba uphezu kwaluphi usuku.
Yeka ukuthumela kwijenali yakho izinto ezifana "U-Omg ukuyeka i-porn kunzima kakhulu, izibongozo zinamandla kakhulu!"
Yeka ukuhlala kakhulu kule forum.
Ulibale nje ngamanyala. Yijonge njengenketho ebomini bakho.
Gxininisa ingqondo yakho kwizinto ezibalulekileyo. Usapho lwakho, amaphupha akho, impilo yakho, umsebenzi wakho.
Xa kukho izibongozo, zijonge ngenyameko. Zijonge. Musa ukusabela. Musa ukubacinezela. Musa ukubatyhalela kude.
Ncuma nje ngobubele kwaye ugxininise ingqondo yakho kwenye into.
Ukubukela i-porn ayisiyiyo inketho. Ayiseyonxalenye yobomi bakho.
Yinto yexesha elidlulileyo.
Ikhonkco kumsonto- I-3 FATAL MISTAKES IIMPAKATHI EZIKHULULEYO
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