I-Cyber erotica: Ngaba iipekseli zinokunciphisa ukulangazelela?
UScott Adams, ingcaphephe emva kuka "Dilbert," kutshanje ubhale isiqwenga esibizwa ngokuba IDigital Crossover. Nantsi isicatshulwa,
Nje ukuba isondo kunye nomtshato kwihlabathi elilinganisiweyo ... libengcono kunento yokwenyani, akukho mntu uya kuzikhathaza ngeendleko, uxinzelelo, kunye nokuphazamiseka…. Abantu abasayi kuba mnandi ngakumbi ngelixa i-Intanethi iya isiba likhoboka. I-crossover yabanye abantu sele ifikile…. Njengoko i-Intanethi ifunda ukuqikelela kwaye ukondla iminqweno yakho ngokuchaneka okukhulayo, umlutha wakho uya kuba nzulu.
Unyanisile ukuba i-crossover sele isenzeka-nangona ingekuko ngokuzikhethela. Ibali lalo mfo liya lixhaphaka kakhulu:
Ndikwiminyaka yam yamashumi amabini kwaye ndinesigulo esibonakala sisitsha se-21st Century broadband-driven ED disorder. Ndiye ndafumana amathuba amathathu okuphulukana nobuntombi bam kunye nabafazi benyama negazi lokwenyani kwaye ndoyisakala ngalo lonke ixesha (njengoko kunjalo, aba bafazi bebesebhedini yam belungele ukuhamba, bakhulule, kodwa andikwazanga. Ndiye ndafumana amanye amathuba, kunye namanye amantombazana alala ebhedini yam, kodwa andizange ndihambe kuba ndandisazi ukuba andizukwazi ukuyenza loo nto… naphakathi kweminyaka eyi-18 ukuya kuma-22). Andizukungena kwiinkcukacha kodwa ixesha ngalinye ndandiziva ndinentloni ngokumangalisayo, ndidakumba kwaye ndihlutha. Andikho gay nakancinci (enyanisweni ndingumntu othanda abantu besini esahlukileyo,) kodwa andikwazanga ukulala naba bafazi.
Ukuba ndingakhetha igama elinye ukuchaza ukuba kwakunjani xa ndizama ukulala nabo, ndingasebenzisa igama elithi 'umfokazi.' Yayiziva ingenabuntu kwaye ingekho kum. Kufana nokuba ndifumene imeko yokuba ndihlale phambi kwesikrini kwaye ndiyigubungele ngokufa yonke le minyaka ukuba ingqondo yam ithathela ingqalelo ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo yokwabelana ngesondo endaweni yokwabelana ngesondo lokwenyani. Ndiyakwazi ukuba nzima kwi-porno, akukho ngxaki, kodwa hayi kubomi bam ndinokuba nzima kumfazi wokwenyani.
Kubasebenzisi abaninzi, i-cyber erotica yanamhlanje iyangqina ivuselela kakhulu kunokuba ucinge malunga namantombazana anxibe iijezi ezixineneyo ahlala ecaleni kwawo kwialgebra. Nangona kunjalo, ngaba ukulinganisa kunye nesondo sokwenyani sitshintshisana, njengokuthi, itshokolethi kunye nequnube? Mhlawumbi akunjalo—ingakumbi xa umntu ekhetha ukuvuselela inkanuko yesini ukususela ekufikiseni ukuya phambili. Ubuchopho bomntwana ofikisayo/obufikisayo bazivelela intambo ngamandla kuyo nantoni na evuselela inkanuko yesini. Ekuqaleni kweminyaka yamashumi amabini ingqondo sele iye zithenwe ngasemva iisekethe ezingasetyenziswanga.
Enyanisweni, umsebenzisi we-porn oselula oselula ofuna ukuba neentlobano zesini ngokwenene ngenye imini uqeqeshelwa umdlalo ongalunganga. Ngokungenatyala unokugqiba ngokungafaniyo phakathi koko kulindelwe yingqondo kunye noko kunikelwa liqabane lokwenene. Emva kweminyaka echithwe usebenzisa iphonografi ye-Intanethi njengowona mthombo uphambili wegalelo lezesondo, abanye abasebenzisi bafuna umzamo omkhulu, kunye neenyanga, ukwenza utshintsho kumaqabane okwenene. Oku kwandisa amathuba okuba abanye bazinze kwi-cybersex.
"Ishift iyenzeka"
Amagqabantshintshi ka-Adams aphinda acebise ukuba umtsalane womzimba unxulunyaniswa ngokuqinileyo nokwaneliseka ngokwesondo kangangokuba ii-2-D hotties zingcono kune-3-D hayi-zishushu. Ukuqhubela phambili le ngqiqo, ugqiba ukuba ukuba awunguye umfana onomtsalane, ii-2-D hotties zingcono kunezo naziphi na abafazi bokwenene onokuthi ube neentlobano zesini nabo. Ngaphezu koko, uxela kwangaphambili ukuba, ekuhambeni kwexesha, nabantu abanokhetho olungcono lwentlalo kunye nesondo baya kukuyeka ukunxibelelana nabantu bethanda imincili yesondo ephefumlelweyo ye-Intanethi.
Okukhethekile, okanye kunzima kakhulu, ukusetyenziswa kwe-Intanethi ngokwendalo kunokukhokelela abasebenzisi kwisigqibo sokuba kushushu kungcono. Okokuqala, umsebenzisi we-porn onzima uvame ukulinganisa ukwaneliseka kuphela ngokobukhulu kunye nobuninzi-hayi. ukwaneliseka jikelele. Nangona kunjalo abanye abasebenzisi baqaphela umahluko omkhulu emva kokusetyenziswa kwe-porn xa kuthelekiswa nesondo sokwenyani:
Ndingumfana othe tye othanda ukubona imifanekiso enqunu namanyala kunye neevidiyo zabafazi befota kwaye belalana, njengoko uninzi lwabahlobo bam abangamadoda besenza. Nangona kunjalo, andiqinisekanga ukuba bayenza ukuya kuthi ga kwiiyure ezi-3 ngexesha. Ngapha koko, ngokwasengqondweni nasemzimbeni ndiziva ndonwabile iiyure ezimbalwa. Kodwa ke ndiziva ndidinwe kakhulu engqondweni, ngamanye amaxesha ingathi IQ yam isikeke phakathi kwaye andikwazi ukucinga kakuhle. Ukuba ndikwenza oku ebusuku kakhulu, iziphumo ngosuku olulandelayo zibi kakhulu. Oku akunakwenzeka ukuba ndiphulula i-masturbate ngaphandle kokujonga i-porn ngexesha elinye, okanye emva kokuba ndilala nentombi yam. Ayenzeki nokuba ndenze isondo ngomlomo kwintombazana endithandana nayo kwaye ndichithe ixesha elininzi ndijonge kumalungu akhe angasese. (Kwenzeka kwinqanaba elithile ukuba ndijonge i-porn kwaye ndingenzi i-masturbation ngaloo mini).
Ubushushu obuthelekisayo ayisosizathu sodwa se-2-D hotties ukodlula amaqabane okwenene. Kukho isizathu esifihlakeleyo ngakumbi. Ubuchopho buguqukele ekubeni (buphinde) bube nocingo ngokuthe nkqi kuyo nayiphi na into abayinxulumanisa namava aphezulu. Le nkqubo yendalo ngokuthe ngcembe icutha ukugxila kwikamva kunye nokusabela, inceda abantu ukuba baziqhelanise neendawo abahlala kuzo.
Ngokucacileyo, ibuyisela umva xa izivuseleli zokwenziwa zinyanzelisa ngokwaneleyo ukongamela inkqubo yengqondo ethi “Ndigqibile”, kunye neendlela ezilawula ukutya. (Bona Kutheni Ndifumana Unobomi Obunomdla Kunokuba Ngumlingani?) Abanye abasebenzisi bade babe neempawu ezibuhlungu:
[Umfana wokuqala, oneminyaka engama-23] Ndandihamba kwicala elibi kakhulu kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo, iimvakalelo zokungabi nalutho kunye nemeko embi ye-ED kangangokuba ndiza kufuneka ndiphulule i-masturbate ngezandla zombini ngelixa ndibukele i-porn ukuze ndifumane ubunzima, nto leyo kwi-23 ayilungile.
[Umfana wesibini, iminyaka engama-20] I-ED yam yaqala ukurhubuluza kancinci kwi-2 - 3 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Kwaye iye yaba mandundu kakhulu kulo nyaka uphelileyo. Ndafika kwinqanaba apho ndandingafane ndibone iinkuni zasekuseni kwaye iindawo ezininzi ze-porn aziyi kundenza nantoni na. Isiqingatha sexesha ndiza kufapha nge-limp dick. Ndandichitha iiyure ndisefa kwimodeli “eshushu” ngokwaneleyo. Kwaye into "eshushu" namhlanje yayingathandeki ngomso.
U-Adams unokuba ulungile malunga nalapho siya khona, kodwa ukukhwela kunokuba nzima kakhulu kwaye indawo oya kuyo inganelisi ngokwesondo kunokuba ebonisile.
Yintoni, thenga inkomo yokwenene?
Kwimeko ye-hook-up/digital, ukumodareyitha kunye nobudlelwane obuzinzileyo abuxatyiswanga kakhulu. Kutheni ungafumani yonke into onokuyenza, akunjalo? Enyanisweni, u-Adams ubonisa ukuba ukukhuphisana ne-cyber vixens abasetyhini abancinci sele "benyusa umdlalo wabo," echaza ukuba neentlobano zesini ezingaqhelekanga. Kukho ingcinga ecacileyo yokuba ukwabelana ngesondo nomntu ongathandani naye kuzisa yonke into ekufanele ukuba nayo, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ixelisa iincopho-kwimfuno ehanjiswa yi-Intanethi.
Nangona kunjalo ukuthandana / ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bunokunceda ekugqibeleni ukukhusela ingqondo kwingozi yokugqithisa. Enyanisweni, kusenokuvela ukuba singcono ukuba sibe nentwana Ngaphantsi Ukwabelana ngesondo kunokuba sicinga ukuba sifuna (kodwa uninzi lokuchukumisa uthando), kunokuba sibeka umngcipheko wokutya okugqithisileyo.
“Ukuphazamiseka” kokuthandana ngaphambi komtshato kusenokufak’ isandla ekuphumeleleni, ukwanelisa umanyano lwesibini oluhlala ixesha elide, olunokuba yingenelo kubantwana nakwizithandwa ngokwabo. Oku mhlawumbi kunento eninzi yokwenza kunye neziphumo ze-neurochemical zokuthintana rhoqo kunye nokusondele, ubuqabane obuthembekileyo. Ngakumbi:
- Ngaba Uthando Lwexesha elide Ngaphezu Kwento Enqabileyo? Ukuba kunjalo, ziziphi izinxulumanisi zayo?
- I-Oxytocin ngexesha lamanyathelo okuqala okunamathiselwe okuthandana: Ubudlelwane bokubuyelana okusebenzisanayo kwezibini
- Izinto ezinxibelelene nomntu ekuphutheni: imodeli yokudibanisa amaqabane ebhedi kunyango lokuziphatha lokuqonda ukuphuthelwa.
- Ukuwaneliseka ngokwesondo kunye nobudlelwane novuyo kwi-Midlife kunye nabadala abakhulileyo kumazwe amahlanu
Sitsalwa bubushushu, sihlala singayihoyi inyani yokuba ubuchopho bethu bavela ukuze basivuze ngeemvakalelo zempilo ngokutshintshiselana ngothando kunye nobudlelwane esibudingayo. La mava asebenza njengeyeza lokulwa nokuxhalaba. Ngokwahlukileyo, ukuvuselela ngokwesondo kukodwa kunika kuphela i-buzz yexesha elifutshane kakhulu, kwaye kakhulu kunokusishiya siziva sibolile:
[Ubudala 29] Kuphela i-2 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo ndandisoloko ndinezihlobo ezininzi. Ebeqhele ukuphuma. Ndikhumbula indlela endavakalelwa ngayo xa ndabona nje intombazana esitratweni. Andizange ndifune zixhobo ukuze ndonwabe. Yayiyimvakalelo yangaphakathi… loo mandla…amandla akrwada, awayendigcina ndiphambili kuzo zonke iinkalo. Ukuphulula amaphambili yayingumkhwa wam wemihla ngemihla. Kwaye andizange ndive nayiphi na imiphumo emibi ngenxa yoko. Zilolonge…sebenza…udlala ngothando…ukuzithemba. Yonke into yayigqibelele.
Xa ndangena kulo mkhwa we-porn 2 kwiminyaka edlulileyo, kwakungekho umlutha; yayiluncedo nje ekuphululeni amalungu esini. Kodwa kungekudala iye yafikelela kwimiboniso yokudlwengulwa, izilwanyana, iintlobano zesini ezinobundlobongela. Akukho mfuneko yokucinga ngezocansi kunye nentombi yam kwakudala. Ndaziva ndinelunda kuba ndandingafuni ntombazana. Ndacinga, “Ndiyazilawula. Abantu bazizidenge ngokwenene ukuya kubudlelwane obuzibophelele. Imitshato…!!! Ndijonge! Ndingoyena mntu wokugqibela!!! Ndingahlala ndedwa.”
Kodwa kwakuphosakele ngokupheleleyo. Iphonografi ibinditya ngaphakathi. Kungekudala ndaziva ndidakumbile…inkungu yengqondo…ixhala loluntu…iingxaki zokwetyisa. Ingqondo yam yakudala yayibambekile. Andizange ndikhule ndinephonografi. Yiyo loo nto ndiwubona ngokucacileyo umahluko.
Ngaba siyahlangabezana neemfuno zethu ezivele zavela?
Nangona imbonakalo, abantu a iintlobo ezidibanisa izibini. Ngokungafaniyo ne-97% yeentlobo zezilwanyana ezanyisayo sinoomatshini bobuchopho bomzimba obusivumela ukuba sithandane. (Bona Kutheni iBonobos Beyenza iMizekelo Emibi.) Izilwanyana ezanyisayo ezizimanya ngababini ngokuqhelekileyo ziba neentlobano zesini ngamaxesha athile—kungekhona ukuba neentlobano zesini ngokuthe rhoqo endaweni yokuba neentlobano zesini. (Bona Ukuhlala Othandweni I-Monkey-Style.)
Oomatshini bethu abahlukeneyo bonder-bonder ngokucacileyo bayalela ukuba ukuphakama okuvela kwisondo ngokufanelekileyo kuvela kumxube wokuvusa inkanuko. kwaye iimvakalelo ezifudumeleyo ngokuchukumisa, ukuthembana, ukuthandana, njl.ziphatha” ithomalalisa ingqondo (nto leyo enceda ekwakhekeni kobudlelwane beemvakalelo), ngaloo ndlela isenza sibe sempilweni.
Ke nanku umbuzo onomdla: Ngaphandle kovuselelo lwezesondo olungaphaya kwesiqhelo, ngaba imida yethu yezesondo ezakhelwe ngaphakathi ingasincedisa inkqubo yokudibanisa isibini esizalwa nayo ngempumelelo ngakumbi, ukusishiya Kaninzi wanelisekile ngokupheleleyo? Oko kukuthi, ngaba ulungelelwaniso olusebenzayo luye lwavela ukusinceda ukuba sihlale (ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi) sinamathele kwiqabane sisebenzisa umxube wokuziphatha ngokwesondo kunye nokuziphatha?
Ngaba ukugqithisa ukuvuselela ukuvuselela ngokwesondo kunokuba negalelo ekungathembani kunye ukunganeliseki kubudlelwane ngenxa yokuba iimfuno zethu ezivele zavela ngaphezu "kwesondo nje" ayihlangatyezwa? Le ngcamango inokuvakala ingaqhelekanga, kodwa, eneneni, ipesenti enkulu yabasetyhini banika ingxelo ukucaphuka okungapheliyo kunye neenyembezi emva kokwabelana ngesondo. Amadoda, nawo, anokujongana nokudodobala kweemvakalelo emva koko ukunyuka okukhulu. Ezi mpendulo zinokuba ngumqondiso wokuba sigqithise umlinganiselo wethu ofanelekileyo wokuvuselela ngokwesondo kunye / okanye ukungenzi umsebenzi owaneleyo wokuhlangabezana neemfuno zethu zothando lomntu kubudlelwane bethu.
Okuvuyisayo kukuba, ukuba umntu uhooks ukusuka namhlanje Isoloko inoveli ye-cyber erotica kwaye zesini, ubudlelwane obukhethekileyo busenokuphinda bube yinto enokusebenziseka kubantu abadala abaninzi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, eli nyathelo lingabandakanya ukungaphatheki kakuhle kokuqhawula ukusuka kwi-dopamine-cranking, "into entsha-njenge-aphrodisiac” isicwangciso esifundwe kwiWebhu, kunye nokuzimisela ukubekela bucala ezinye iingqikelelo ezidumileyo.
Ngokuzenzekelayo, ukuhambelana okukhulu akuthethi Ngaphantsi ngesondo, kodwa kusenokuthetha ukuhlola iindlela zothando eyandisa ulwaneliseko olukhoyo ngokuzibamba ngeqhina ngaphandle kokugqithisa ibhalansi yethu ye-neuroendocrine ngee-jollies rhoqo.
Ngaba olo hlengahlengiso lufanelekile? Kuxhomekeke kwindlela onomtsalane owufumana ngayo "I-Digital Crossover" njengendawo yokugqibela. Ngokuzenzekelayo, inkcubeko yethu inokuba khona ngokukhawuleza kunokuba icinga. Ngokutsho kukaAdams ukuba abantu,
baqhubeke nendlela yabo yokutyeba kunye nokuxambulisana ngakumbi ... iDigital Crossover ingaphantsi kweminyaka elishumi ukusuka.
Kulula ukuyibukela, ividiyo ecwangciswe ngobuchule malunga nokunyuka okukhwankqisayo kweJapan “kwi-asexuality” kunye nendima enokuthi idlalwe ngu-“Dating Sims”.
UPDATES
- Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kunye nokunyuka kwamanqaku angaphezulu? Izifundo ezingaphezu kwe-35 zokubika iziphumo zihambelane nokukhula kwezilwanyana (ukunyamezela), ukuhlala kwimiba yezononophelo, kunye nokukhutshwa kweempawu (zonke iimpawu kunye neempawu ezinxulumene nomlutha).
- Ukuxubusha ingongoma engathethiweyo yokuthetha "inqweno yesini ephakamileyo" ichaza ukuxhatshazwa koonobumba okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesini: Ubuncinci izifundo ze-25 zikhohlisa ibango lokuba isini kunye neziyobisi ezingamanyala "banomnqweno ophezulu wesondo"
- Iiduna kunye neengxaki zesondo? Olu luhlu luqukethe izifundo ze-30 ezidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koonwabo / ukuxhatshazwa koononophelo kwiingxaki zesini kunye nokwenyuka kokunciphisa isisombululo sezesondo. I fIzifundo ze-5 ziluhlu lubonisa bangela, njengabathathi-nxaxheba baqhelise ukusetyenziswa koononophelo kunye nokuphulukisa izifo ezingasinikiyo zesondo.
- Imiphumo yeSigxina kwimibutho? Izifundo ezingaphezulu kwe-60 zidibanisa ukusetyenziswa koononophelo ukuya kwisini esincinci kunye nolwaneliseko lobuhlobo. (Ngokuba sifuna zonke Izifundo ezibandakanya abesilisa ziye zaxela ukusetyenziswa koononophelo olunxulumene nalo zihlwempu zesini okanye ukwaneliseka kobudlelwane.)
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