Mo kọkọ rii pe Mo ni iṣoro pẹlu ere onihoho ati ifiokoara ibalopọ nipa nkan bi ọdun meji sẹyin (ọjọ-ori 19), nigbati mo rii pe Emi ko le ṣe ibalopọ pẹlu ọmọbirin ti mo ni ibaṣepọ ni akoko yẹn. Botilẹjẹpe o jẹ arẹwa, Mo ni lati ni irọrun nipa ere onihoho, ṣugbọn paapaa iyẹn kii ṣe iṣeduro kan. Ni ayika akoko yii lilo ere onihoho mi nifẹ si walẹ si awọn iru pupọ ti o pọ julọ ti ere onihoho, gbigbe lati ere onihoho 'deede' si ere onihoho BDSM ati nikẹhin si onibaje / transsexual onihoho.
For the last two years I masturbated almost exclusively to extreme porn, and even occasionally gay porn. I masturbated compulsively, from a minimum of 2 times a day up to 5 or 6 times a day. Long story short, I had a really big problem. I found myself attracted to women mentally but physically my body did not respond to what I had found most arousing my entire life. This ended up being a source of extreme confusion and angst for me – was I actually gay? Why was I mentally attracted to women but unable to respond to anything but transsexual and gay porn?
Mo rilara ṣiṣan nigbagbogbo ati pe emi ko nifẹ si sisọpọ tabi sisọ pẹlu awọn ọrẹ. Mo ni iṣoro iṣoro mimu oju pẹlu awọn eniyan jakejado igbesi aye mi lojoojumọ, ati pe Mo ni iriri ori itiju jinlẹ ti emi ko le ṣalaye. Ni inu mi Mo mọ pe ohun kan ti yipada ni awọn ọdun diẹ ti igbesi aye mi, ṣugbọn emi ko mọ kini (ofiri: Mo ṣe bayi). O dabi pe a ti fa agbara igbesi aye kuro ninu mi.
Nitori iwariiri Mo pinnu lati gbiyanju nofap lakoko Ooru. Emi ko ni igboya patapata pe yoo ṣiṣẹ, ṣugbọn Mo rii pe ti a fun ni iye ti o ga julọ ti awọn itan-akọọlẹ rere o tọ si ibọn kan, ati pe Emi kii yoo padanu pupọ ti ko ba ṣe ohunkohun. Ni akọkọ Mo ṣe awọn ọjọ 3, lẹhinna 7, lẹhinna 14, lẹhinna 30, ati nikẹhin 60, ati jẹ ki n sọ fun ọ - kini iyatọ nla ti nofap ti ṣe ninu igbesi aye mi. Bayi, ni aaye yii o yẹ ki n ṣalaye: Emi ko ro pe Mo wa ni gbogbo ọna nipasẹ ilana atunbere, ati pe emi le jẹ awọn ọna pipẹ lati atunbere “kikun”. Ṣugbọn Mo n ni iriri diẹ ninu awọn ayipada nla ninu igbesi aye mi.
Mo ni igboya diẹ sii ni awọn ipo awujọ. Nko ni iriri itiju ti ko ṣee ṣe alaye nigbati mo ba n ba awọn eniyan sọrọ. Mo ṣetọju oju oju ati sọrọ (pupọ julọ akoko) pẹlu igboya. Mo gbẹkẹle ara mi mo mọ pe emi jẹ ẹni ti o tọ ati iye ati agbara, ati pe awọn eniyan miiran rii i paapaa. Awọn obinrin diẹ sii ṣe oju pẹlu mi, ati pe nọmba alailẹgbẹ ti wọn nigbagbogbo rẹrin musẹ si mi bi mo ti nkọja lọ.
Mo ni idojukọ diẹ sii, iranti mi dara, ati Mo n ni iriri awọn iṣoro ti o lagbara sii. Sibẹsibẹ, Mo dabi pe o n ni iriri iṣoro pupọ julọ ni awọn iṣeduro iṣesi mi. Awọn nkan maa dara julọ ṣugbọn nigbana ni Mo nlo nipasẹ awọn iṣoro nibi ti mo ti jẹ idakẹjẹ, ibanujẹ, o si rọgbẹ fun ọjọ melokan lẹhinna Mo pada si deede. Ṣugbọn mo nigbagbogbo pada lati awọn iṣoro wọnyi ti o ni iriri ti o dara ju ti mo ti ṣe tẹlẹ.
Sibẹsibẹ, botilẹjẹpe Mo n ni iriri bayi ni igi owurọ deede ati igbafẹfẹ lẹẹkọọkan, Emi ko tun le wo obinrin ti o ni ẹwa ki o de ipele ifẹkufẹ naa. Ṣugbọn Mo n de sibẹ. Awọn eniyan Emi yoo ti rii “ifọkanbalẹ” wuni nikan ni ifanimọra ni bayi, ati pe emi ni riri ati ṣe akiyesi awọn ohun oriṣiriṣi lori awọn obinrin. Siwaju si, Emi ko tun wo awọn obinrin mọ bi nkan ẹran tabi nkan ibalopọ (boya ọkan ninu awọn anfani nla julọ ninu iwe mi).
I don’t think that all of these changes are directly caused by nofap. I have made many changes to my lifestyle during the last 60 days, such as waking up early every morning, exercising several times a week, eating a healthier diet, cold showers, and seeing a therapist. But nofap is really good at laying everything bare for you to see and react to.
When you can’t hide and numb yourself with PMO you begin to question a lot of norms and habits you have in place. Suddenly it doesn’t make so much sense to try to appeal so hard to women or avoid harm in social situations. It makes more sense to rely on the person who I am, who I have become, and who I am becoming. I am the most important person in my life and I have begun to give myself the respect (and healthy criticism) I deserve.
Do yourself a favor. Any significant change will require a certain amount of blind or nearly blind faith on your part, and that’s what sometimes makes improvement so difficult. Trust what you read here and what you read on other nofap friendly sites on the web and just give it an honest, good shot.
RÁNṢẸ - Ọjọ mẹjọ ṣe iyatọ nla.
by blehhhhhh_hh
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