33岁-DE,社交焦虑症,自我憎恨消失,热爱生活

我已经完成了90日挑战赛! 我从这次经历中了解了自己并成为一个更好的人吗? 是的,但不是因为我想的原因。 请允许我解释一下。 我是33,十多年来一直是PMO的瘾君子。

像这里的许多人一样,我在互联网上长大,作为“黑客类型”,我对新闻组,地下bbs板,4Chan(清理之前),TOR和其他非主流服务非常着迷,其中不受管制的内容很容易顺道。 我的观看习惯变得更加迷恋,以至于一个裸体女人不再引起我的兴趣 - 让我失去了极大的震撼价值。 在PMO会议之后,我会回到我的感官并对自己感到厌恶。 我会想“我永远不想在现实生活中有这种性别,为什么这是我必须用来下车的? 我受伤了吗?“

在我上瘾的过程中,我的生命是人类的外壳。 我独自生活了很多年,所以PMO每天晚上睡觉前都很习惯。 这是一种“自然”的屎 - 当我年轻时被一种满足感所取代时,我感到内疚,因为我是一个可以在命令上努力的男性。 但这完全是自我,事实上,我多年来一直在观看令人不安的图像 - 我不愿意向自己或其他人承认 - 甚至在像NoFap这样的匿名在线论坛中遭到精神损害。 我与家人和朋友分离,感觉就像我独自在这个世界。 我生活在抑郁症中,Fapping是我唯一的多巴胺治疗方法。

我觉得自己不值得一位女性伴侣,暗暗担心没有女人,无论多么甜蜜或善良,都能满足我不正常的欲望。 我不配得上一个“好女孩”,而是让我自己总是扮演“拯救陷入困境的女孩”的白骑士 - 并且有许多短期(失败)的关系来展示我的努力。 精神痛苦的成瘾者往往寻求像公司一样。 因为社交尴尬和焦虑伤害了我所持有的少数社会关系。 就在那时我决定了:这不是我是谁。

我需要找到另一种生活方式,作为Reddit的狂热用户,我知道NoFap,但是认为弃绝PMO会导致真实的生活变化是愚蠢的。 然而,我发现了自己对PMO使用产生的负面想法,因此决定尝试将NoFap作为自己工作过程的一部分。 男孩我很惊讶......

当我决定真的弃绝前几天是地狱。 我的球随着他们的疼痛被释放了。 我不得不睡在我的背上,因为即使轻微的触摸也是身体上的痛苦。 有一种持续的渴望,第一周我情绪低落 - 这让我更加确信这是多巴胺被排除在体内的结果。 我第一次尝试到32天。 在那个时期,我注意到了这个子中其他人提到的许多“超级大国”。 在此之后我在1周大关时复发了几次,但这次我很自豪地为90日庆典开始了。 在最初几周之后,它会变得更容易弃权。 重点是:永不放弃 - 这不是一个容易的挑战.... 但它是如此值得!

我为自己体验过的“超级大国”:

  • 社交焦虑消失了 - 在NoFap之前,我正处于获取Xanax或其他药物帮助我更加社交的边缘。 PMO狂欢期间我会在周末“隐藏”在家里。 当我出去的时候,我觉得每个人都知道我的秘密,并且暗地里想要独自一人。 现在? 我回到了我以前的社交方式 - 开玩笑,和朋友一起去海滩/电影/跳舞等等 - 几个月前的180转变。
  • 更自信–在我避免发表意见之前,以防它偶然冒犯了别人。 在与人互动时,我并不诚实,因为我总是会同意他们,以使他们喜欢我。 现在? 我自信地行走在各个地方,与男性和女性都保持目光接触,声音更深,日常操作也更轻松。 现在,我觉得自己的意见和行动似乎比其他任何人都重要/重要(或者更重要)–我对自己的信心不同于多年来。
  • 健康的关系 - 我是一个好看的家伙,赚钱,但我总是在不健康的关系,我是这样的测试版。 我甚至认为妓女只是为了得到我的身体满足而没有任何混乱的关系(无论如何我都觉得不值得)。 现在? 在大约3个月的NoFap之后(我在前几个月重置了几次)我在一个派对上遇到了一个女孩。 当我遇到她的时候,我的徽章是在2的那一天 - 但我认为她值得我努力打破这种瘫痪的习惯。 我通常会花时间搜索色情片然后PMO我用来和这个女孩约会。 现在90几天后她和我住在一起,我们正在谈论婚姻/孩子。
  • 性耐力 - 从PMO多年来我不知不觉地搞砸了在性行为中允许正常性高潮的自然性冲动。 我可能会变得很努力,但有DE(延迟射精)到我感到羞耻的地步,因为我无法与女人暨。 现在? 拥有一个稳定的女朋友是一个艰难的过渡,但她对我很有爱心和耐心 - 这与我自己没有关系。 我的DE好多了,现在使用延迟技术多次使她达到高潮。 我被压抑的性欲现在有了一个有效的出路,我觉得自己生来的性生物后来没有内疚感,真是太棒了。
  • 健康的想法 - 我会讨厌自己。 我会贬低自己的想法。 我考虑过自杀。 我希望我能永远睡觉。 现在? 我热爱生活。 这是完全相同的生活(同样的工作,同样的车,同样的问题)然而我生命中的人和新的环境让我兴奋起来。 抑郁症是一件可怕的事情,你的思想确实创造了你的现实。 健康的心灵=健康的生活。 不健康的心灵=不健康的生活。

*TL / DR:NoFap改变了我看待自己的方式。 它给了我一些值得骄傲的东西。 它教会了我自律。 它让我比以前更好。 *

谢谢大家在此reddit中的发布,很高兴知道我并不孤单。 没有PMO,生活确实会变得更好,有一天您会理解/相信我为什么这么说(即使您目前对自己的感觉不佳)。 我希望我可以激发至少一个人坚持挑战并改变他们的生活,就像我准备改变时受到启发的方式一样。

90天过得更好! 我在十年的PMO自虐中挣扎和胜利的故事 

by craphty 90天



更新180天

大家好,我想向我介绍“新常态”的最新动态,并为那些自我完善之旅的人提供一些鼓励。 今天是我避免PMO的第180天。 我今年33岁,回首过去的色情习惯,我为自己浪费了多少时间感到time愧。<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“></p><p>PMO was a habit for me, one where I would spend 2 to 4 hours a night searching for “just the right video” that was bizarre or degrading enough for my mind to feel satisfied. Like any habit the amount and intensity of the required material escalated to unhealthy levels. I was a slave to my mind. I rationalized away my self-destructive behavior, excusing myself again and again, all while feeling weak to my own urges. I viewed women as sexual beings only, and secretly hated myself and felt unworthy of love. If this is also your story fellow Fapstronaught… take heed: there is hope.</p><p>After finding out about NoFap (from 4chan of all places) I read up and watched the Your Brain On Porn videos. I then understood that part of my problem was willpower… the other part was addiction. When I understood my behavior as an addiction like any other (to cigarettes, drugs, etc) I resolved to take control of my life and wrestle my mind free from its addicted state.</p><p>It was not easy at first. I had physical pains and withdrawal symptoms in the fist week. There was a literal burning sensation in my groin that wanted release. I stuck with it. I relapsed a few times but now, after relapsing I understood that it was like a smoker wanting for “one more cigarette” – and I forgave myself. I saw my body as acting separate from my true desire and made peace with myself that although the flesh is week, my spirit was willing. I did not give up, and neither should you.</p><p>I started on “hard mode” (no gf) but after a few weeks I met this new and amazing girl who will become my wife in a few months (we are engaged!). It was difficult to transition into a relationship as years of self abuse using porn had desensitized me sexually with DE as well as mentally. There was a period of resetting to my “new normal” which is what I now live everyday. Here are some things I now enjoy that I did not before:</p><ul><li>Improved mental clarity – there is a mental fog that used to follow me around blurring and dulling my sight and other senses. I feel more alert and sensitive to the world now.</li><li>More productive time – I used to have a routine of coming home from work, eating food then spending the rest of the night torrenting porn or searching for the “right video” to get me off. Now, I have my fiancee with me in the evenings to talk to, to cook together, to play with the dog, to enjoy our time instead of waste it.</li><li>Self esteem – I used to avoid social situations and even going out with friends as my anxiety worsened. This social anxiety was rooted in feelings of unworthiness. I did not feel I had anything useful to contribute to conversations and my presence was a burden to others. Not anymore. I speak from my heart and am bold in my actions – I have re-discovered the man I was years ago.</li><li>More in control of emotions and life – Before I would feel like I had little control of my daily life and that my insular routine was keeping me “safe” – in fact my sheltered existence was wasting my life away in a daily grind that only served to fulfill my base animal desires (eat, sex, sleep). I have broken that cycle and you can too. Through meditation I now have more control over how I think and feel and use that control to choose positive things to dwell on. You are your own worst critic… learn to forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself… weaknesses and all.</li></ul><p>I hope others in this sub reddit stay on course and benefit themselves the way I did. I used NoFap as a starting point to bettering myself and my life. I have leaned that no one is a lost cause and we are all able to be better people. NoFap gives you a sense of self-pride which will carry over into other aspects of your daily life. Other people will notice a difference in your posture, attitude, mood and energy level.</p><p>My “success story” is just one of many. This 90 day challenge is a beneficial teaching tool – it teaches you about yourself. Learn your body. Learn your mind. When you do, you will figure out how to “hack your brain” and divert your negative energy into something more useful. Do it for yourself. Do it for others that are important in your life. You are worth it.</p><p>Peace.</p><p><strong>LINK – <a href=90天增加一倍=生活180天(self.NoFap)

by craphty