Yenza umphumela we-Coolidge ngezinga elikhohliwe ngokocansi
Okuthunyelwe kwakamuva kuxoxa (1) ukuthi kungani abathandi bangafuna ukwazi kabanzi mayelana nokuthi kwenzekani kuzona ubuchopho bomzimba, (2) kanjani ukuvuselela okukhulu kakhulu wesekethe lomvuzo wokuqala wobuchopho kungaholela ekuguqukeni kwemizwelo ecashile kanye isidingo sokuvuselela okwengeziwe, futhi (3) ukuthi ukuguquguquka kwe-dopamine kuqhuba kanjani I-Coolidge Effect (ukuthambekela kokulahlekelwa yintshisekelo kumlingani ngemuva kokusuthiswa ngokocansi.) Ngiphinde ngasho nokuthi kunendlela yokwenza uthando esiza ukunciphisa ukweqisa kwe-dopamine khuthaza ukuvumelana.
Ngenzeke kulo mqondo emashumini eminyaka edlule encwadini ngoDaoist lovemaking. Emva kokulungisa imibono esekelwe ekuhlangenwe nakho okusebenzayo ekugcineni ngifunde incwadi nge karezza-futhi ngabona ukuthi ichaza lokho mina nomyeni wami senza. I-Karezza yilabo abathandekayo, abanothando oluningi nokuphumula, kodwa ngaphandle komgomo we-orgasm. (Yebo, kusengenzeka ngezikhathi ezingavamile.)
Lo mkhuba uye wasetshenziselwa ukujulisa ubudlelwane phakathi kweminyaka eyizinkulungwane, ehamba ngamagama amaningi esikhathini eside. Lezi zihlanganisa: ukulima kabili kukaDaoist, le jazer (cortezia), amplexus reservatus, i-tantra (ngokushintsha kwayo okukhululekile), ubulili be-transorgasmic, njalonjalo. Ukunambitha izinzuzo, bobabili abalingani bagcizelela nsuku zonke ukuziphatha okuzibophezelayo (njengokuthintana isikhumba, isikhumba sokuphuza, ukusikhipha isisu, kanye nokulala komzimba) futhi uhlasele i-orgasm amasonto amathathu. (Imininingwane ku Umcibisholo Onobuthi ka-Cupid: Ukusuka Kumkhuba uye Ekuzwaneni Ebudlelwaneni Bocansi.)
Ekuqaleni, ukuya ocansini kungahloselwe i-orgasm kubonakala ngathi… ”I-WTF ?!”Kepha lokhu kungabangelwa ukuthi, ngokwengxenye, ukuthi thina baseNtshonalanga sikuqoqele ngokuphelele ukucwaswa kwethu kwamanje, saze sabeka uphawu lokuya ocansini ngaphandle kwe-orgasm njenge“ paraphilia ”. Ngesinye isikhathi, i-karezza idala abantu abalele embhedeni. UPapa Pius XII naye wayilahla. Ngesikhathi sakhe, amaKatolika aseFrance naseBelgium ayedumisa amplexus reservatus (karezza) njengezindlela ezisemthethweni zokugwema ukukhulelwa, futhi futhi njengendlela yokuthola uhlobo oluphelele, nolomoya olungaphezulu lothando lokuhlangana. UPapa wathi kungenzeka ukuthi akusona “isenzo somshado seqiniso,” noma, lapho wenza umphumela we-orgasm engahlosile, wawuyingozi ngenxa yamandla ayo we-hedonism. Kwesinye isikhathi awukwazi ukunqoba.
Kuleli khulu leminyaka elidlule noma ngaphezulu, odokotela abathathu bezokwelapha babhale izincwadi eziqinisekisa izinzuzo zika-karezza. (I-Stockham, MD, Lloyd, MD futhi Jensen, MDNakhu ukuphawula kwabanye babayeni banamuhla (akekho kubo owami):
Umcabango wokususa i-foreplay / i-orgasm njll uyakhathaza. Ingqondo yakho iyalwa nayo. “Kuzoba yisicefe. Sizokwenzani embhedeni? ” Uma usuyizamile, okungenani kimi, akusekho ukubuyela emuva. Ukungakutholi ukusutha usebenzisa i-karezza kuyamangalisa ngempela. Impela, ukusutha akusoze kwafinyelelwa ngezocansi ezivamile, kepha lokho kuswela ukusutha kubonakala njalo kuphumela kumuzwa wenkanuko wokufuna okwengeziwe…. Lokhu kwehlukile. Kusezulwini, ngokuswela igama elingcono. Ngenelisekile, kepha anginjalo. Angiwuzwa umuzwa wokuphuthuma engivame ukuwuzwa lapho ngingenelisekile. Ngizizwa ngiphelele ngandlela thile, nginokuthula, futhi okuhle kunakho konke, ngisothandweni…. Mina nomkami sisondelene ngempela futhi.
Mina nomkami besilokhu sisebenza / senza okungabizwa ngokuthi karezza iminyaka eminingana. Njengoba isikhathi sihamba, sathola isikhundla esisisebenzelayo, isikisi sibeka, futhi sakha inqubo evumela ukuthi ishiye umdlalo wangaphambili futhi yenze ukuthi konke okushisayo kungashisi. Sisebenzisa uwoyela wejojoba ekuthambiseni futhi sixhuma ngaphambi kokulala nasekuseni njalo ekuseni. Sikwenze lokhu iminyaka eyi-6-7, futhi kuhle. Zonke izithandani ngethemba lokuthi zithola ezazo izindlela zokwenza uthando kaningi ngaphandle kwengcindezi, ingcindezi, noma ukuncipha. UKarezza uyasisebenzela. Sihlala siphakeme futhi sibonga cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukungakhathaleli akukwazi ukuhlala isikhathi eside ngoba amandla ethu amahle akhiqizwa futhi asekelwa nsuku zonke.
Ekuqaleni umkami wangicasukela lapho ngisusa injabulo yakhe. Ngakho siyekethisa. Sinqume ukuba nama-orgasms okokuqala enyangeni nakwezinye izikhathi ezikhethekile. Manje sisenyangeni yethu yesithathu yothando olungenazinwele, "ngoba asifuni ukonakalisa into enhle." Sijwayele ukuhlala isikhathi esingangehora kabili ngeviki. Siphawula nsuku zonke ngendlela esibukeka kahle ngayo komunye nomunye. Ngibe namathuba okuya ocansini ngaphandle komshado wethu eminyakeni eyishumi nesishiyagalombili edlule futhi angazi ukuthi ngihlale kanjani ngithembekile. Manje umbono wami ukuthi akukho okungake kufane nalokho okwenzeka ngaphakathi komshado wethu.
Ngokuthakazelisayo, Ucwaningo lwaseCanada usanda kuqinisekisa ukuthi "ubulili obukhulu" ngokuvamile hhayi kugxile kwi-orgasm. Umphenyi oyinhloko uphinde waphawula ukuthi, "Kunobufakazi obuningi bokuthi abantu abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi imfihlo yokwaneliseka kwezocansi ingobuchwepheshe, ukuthi imayelana namasu angcono okukhuthaza ngezandla nangomlomo." Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi "Ungaya ocansini olwesabekayo ngama-orgasms futhi ngaphandle kwama-orgasms, kepha ungaba nobulili obufanele ngaphandle kwe-orgasm."
Kungenzeka kanjani lokhu? Ngisola ukuthi i-karezza iveza izinzuzo ngoba ibeka eceleni ukuwa okufihlekile kwe-neurochemical. I-Orgasm, futhi ikakhulukazi ukwaneliseka ngokocansi, ukuqhuma (okumnandi) kwe-neurochemical, okuthumela ukuqhuma isikhathi esingangesonto elilodwa ngenkathi umzimba ubuyela ekulinganisweni. (Okuningi ku “I-Cycle Passion. ")
Mhlawumbe labo abaye bahlukunyezwa yi I-Coolidge Effect izothola i-karezza inenzuzo ikakhulukazi. Lapho abathandi benza uthando ngobumnene futhi kuyaqabukela “beqeda,” abavamile ukuzizwa “besuthi” nomlingani. Baphinde babeke eceleni okungaba khona ukuthambekela okuyingozi ukuphulukisa ukuwa kwe-post-orgasmic (flatness, ukukhungatheka okukhulu, ukuhlupheka) nge-orgasm ngaphezulu.
Abeluleki bezemishado kwesinye isikhathi bancoma ukuthi imibhangqwana efuna ukubuyisana iqale ngokugwema ukuya ocansini olujwayelekile, kepha ihlanganyele ekuthintaneni ngothando noma ngisho nasekuhlanganyeleni okungahlosile. (Kokubili kukhulisa ngobumnene i-dopamine ne-oxytocin ngaphandle kokubangela umjikelezo ophelele wothando.) Mhlawumbe izindlela zokubopha zalolu hlobo zibuyisela imizwa emihle ngoba izinhlelo zethu "zokuhlanganisa" kanye "nokubopha" zisebenza iziqephu ezihlukene ezingacacile. Uma siveza lezi zimpawu ezingqubuzanayo (zokunamathela/ukukhanga kanye nokusutha/ukuzonda) kumlingani singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi singena, siphuma, sothando ngendlela edidayo. Empeleni, siletha amasignali axubile ezingeni elingaphansi komqondo.
Ekuthunyelwe okuzayo, ngizochaza ukuthi yiluphi ucwaningo olungasikhombisa vele mayelana namakhemikhali ezinzwa abandakanyeka kumjikelezo wothando, nokuningi ngokuthi le nto ingadala kanjani ukubonakala okungamukeleki.
Ukuthola izidakamizwa kungase kutholakale le ntambo yesithakazelo.
Ukukhula kobufakazi besayense yomjikelezo we-post-orgasm oqhubekayo (izifundo)
Izifundo ekuqhekekeni phakathi kobulili nezidakamizwa ebuchosheni
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