Ingabe Ukuthandana Ngokwecansi Kungenakwenzeka? (I-2012)

Isikhathi sokuhlukanisa 'ukuthambekela kwezocansi' kokuguqukayo 'kokuthandwa ngocansi'

"Ubufakazi obuningi besayensi njengamanje buvumelana nombono wokuthi imvelaphi yezifiso eziningi zobulili akuyona inkambiso kodwa izalwa nayo." —ULeon F. Seltzer

Izitatimende ezinjalo zidukisa abantu ukuthi konke ukuthambekela kocansi kudalwe okulinganayo futhi akuguquguquki. Lokhu akulona iqiniso. 

Yebo, izitho zangasese zivame ukuvutha ngaphandle kokuziyala. Noma kunjalo abacwaningi babonisile ukuthi izilwane ezincelisayo zingenziwa isimo (futhi ngezinye izikhathi ukubuyiswa kabusha) ukulungisa ukuphendula kwabo ngokocansi ngokukhululeka okumangalisayo. Ngisho nabantu baye bakwazi ukwandisa noma ukucindezela ukulungiswa kwe-penile noma ukuphazamiseka kwamasitini ebhodini lapho kunikezwe imali yokuqinisa kanye / noma yokufundisa.

Ngempela, iningi lethu lisho okungaqondile ngqo ngokuthanda kwethu ngokocansi (njengoba kuqhathaniswa nesimo sethu sobulili). Ubuchopho buyipulasitiki. Iqiniso liyiqiniso njalo siqeqesha ubuchopho bethu-Ngaphandle noma ngaphandle kokuzibandakanya kwethu. Singakhetha ukugwema, ukuphishekela, nokuyeka ukuphishekela, ukugqugquzela ukuthi isimo sethu sokuthanda ngokocansi ikakhulukazi.

Isibonelo, abasebenzisi abaningi abasha be-inthanethi be-porn isimo sabo sobulili kumaphikseli — ukuze angavuswa ngabangaba ngabalingani bomshado (ukwethuka kwabo). Baguqula ngokujulile impendulo yabo yobulili engokwemvelo ngezindlela okhokho bethu ababengathola ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuziqonda (ngoba okhokho bethu babengenakho ukufinyelela embukisweni wezinkomba zobulili ezithandwayo ngokuchofoza). Lo mkhuba wokuziphatha kocansi okonakele kubasebenzisi be-porn be-Intanethi akubonakali ukuthi ucwaningwe nhlobo, ngakho-ke "ucwaningo oluningi lwesayensi" luthambekele kabi okwamanje.

Isiphakamiso sokuthi ukuthanda izinto zobulili kungabuyekezwa ngokujulile akuyona nje imfundiso. Isilwane sesilisa singalungiswa khetha umlingani wobulili obufanayo ngokubamba i-dopamine yakhe. Futhi akuthathi isikhathi eside kakhulu. Abaphenyi bajova i-rat yesilisa nge-dopamine agonist (umuthi olingisa i-dopamine), base beyifaka ehokweni nomunye wesilisa. Amagundane amabili avele ahlanganyela ndawonye usuku olulodwa. (I-dopamine agonist iphumile ohlelweni cishe ngosuku olulodwa.) Abaphenyi bakuphindile lokhu amahlandla ama-2, izinsuku ezi-4 zihlukene.

Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kamuva, owesilisa ovuliwe wahlolwa. Njengoba engekho i-dopamine agonist ohlelweni lwakhe, wabekwa emgodini womabili wesilisa wakhe wesilisa nomlingani (khumbula ukuthi i-dopamine yayingekho ohlelweni lwakhe). Ukuqagela ukuthi yisiphi isici esiphendule kakhulu kunayo? Wabonisa ukusabela okuningi kakhulu ku-Buddy wakhe. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi uma u-Buddy naye engumfana isilwane esimisiwe futhi nje wabonisa ukuhlangana komphakathi.

Kodwa-ke, futhi ngokumangazayo, uma lo bhudi kwakuyigundane elihlangenwe nakho ngokobulili, intombi enesimo yakhombisa ukwenyusa okuningi, uphenyo oluthe xaxa ngokobulili, kanye nokucela okunjengokwabesifazane -okuphikisana nokuziphatha okuvamile okwandayo kowesilisa. Abaphenyi bagcizelela ukuthi igundane labesilisa elaliphethwe lalingelona elalingqingili, njengoba engazami ukufaka elinye igundane. Nokho wayeseshintshile nakanjani. (Ingabe lobu ubufakazi bokuthi abantu abadala bangayithonya kalula kanjani indlela yokuziphatha kwentsha ngokwemvelo?)

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi amagundane abesifazane ayengenakubekelwa ngale ndlela - abesilisa kuphela. Futhi, izinsuku ezingama-45 ngemuva kokuthi konke ukukhohlisa kokuhlola kumile, isimo sokufakelwa ngokocansi sase siphumile futhi abesilisa babengenakho ukuthanda abangani babo. Ngabe lokhu kuyasiza ukuchaza ukuthi kungani, ngemuva kwabasebenzisi be-porn bangaphambili Ima ukuqinisa ama-fetish abo nge-porno-ukukhulisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ngokuvamile babika ukuthi bazo Ukuthandwa kwe-porn fetish kuqhuma?

Isifundo? Amazinga aphezulu e-dopamine angakwazi ukubuyisela ubuchopho ngamandla futhi alungise ukuthanda izinto zobulili. (Muva nje, abacwaningi babonisile Lokho kulungiswa ngemijovo ephindaphindwayo ye-oxytocin nokuhlala ndawonye nakho kubangele abesilisa ukuthi bakhombise ukuthanda abanye abesilisa ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kamuva - noma ngabe banikezwa abesifazane abalalelayo ngasikhathi sinye.)

Ngokufanayo, ukusetshenziswa kocansi okuqhubekayo akukwazi ukuguqula isimo sakho sobulili, kepha can shintsha ukuthi yiliphi uhlobo lwe-porn elikujabulisa. Abasebenzisi be-porn abasetshenziselwa ukuhlaselwa (ukusayina okuphawulekayo kwe-dopamine) ukusesha noma yini eyokwenza i-dopamine yabo yokufaka uphawu. Uma bekutholile, ama-spikes e-dopamine, futhi inqubo yokuvuselela kabusha impendulo yabo yesondo iqale. Uma beqhubeka nokushaya indlwabu kuhlobo olusha, ukuguqulwa kobuchopho obucashile kubusa izifundazo zabo zocansi, okuholela ekungazini, futhi okuvame ukwesabeka, ukushintsha kokuthandwa kobulili okwenza kube nzima, noma kungenakwenzeka, ukufinyeleleka ekuthandeni kwangaphambili.

Okwamanje, isimangalo esingenasisekelo sokuthi ukukhetha izithombe zobulili ezingcolile "kungokwemvelo" kunokuba "kungokwesiko" nakho kuyayinaka inhlangano ebanzi ubufakazi obuvela kwamasiko amaningi mayelana nemikhuba yezocansi enomphakathi. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKirk Witherspoon siyachaza:

Inkulumo yezocansi emhlabeni wonke nangesikhathi sonke iyazazi izinhlobonhlobo zezimvume ezibhekwe njengezijwayelekile "kwenye indawo. … Okuthathwa njengokujwayelekile kuvamise ukuba nengxenye enkulu yokufunda (ukukhulisa), hhayi ukunqunywa kokuzalwa (imvelo). Isibonelo, iningi labantu abahlukumeza ngokocansi engibahlolayo ngokwabo baziswa ocansini besezingane — kungaba ezinye izingane noma nabantu abadala. Abanye, vele, kungenzeka balungiselelwe ngokwengeziwe ngokwendalo.

Ukusetshenziswa kocansi kwe-inthanethi kungahle kube "yinto ejwayelekile" esikweni lethu njengamanje, kepha kufanele sikuqaphele ukuthi ukuthanda kwethu okunezithombe zocansi "kungokokuzalwa" noma "akunakuguquka."

Iphikisana nokuphikisana

Endabeni yabasebenzisi be-porn, kunembe kakhudlwana ukucabanga ngokuya ngokuthi "okungenakuguqulwa" kuqhathaniswa "nokubuyiselwa emuva." Njengoba kunikezwe amafreyimu esikhathi esanele, noma ukuvezwa ngezikhathi ezibucayi, ukuluthwa okuqhubekayo ayengakwenza kuholele ekuthandweni okungaqondakali, okungenani kwabanye abantu. Kanti futhi, isibonelo sokuqala sokukhangisa sisungulwa ngokubonakala okungenangqondo, noma okuguquguqukayo, kuyoba khona.

Kodwa-ke, "isimo socansi esibuyiselwayo" yincazelo engenzeka kakhulu yokuhlangenwe nakho kwabasebenzisi / abathandi bezithombe zocansi banamuhla. Bachaza ngokungaguquguquki ukukhuphukela ekuvuseleleni okunzima ngokwedlulele. Ukube abakuthandayo kunalokho bekungaguquguquki, bebezothola masinyane “ukulingana” kwabo bese benamathela kukho unomphela. Esikhundleni salokho, abaningi babika ukushintsha okujulile, okumangazayo, ekuziphatheni nasekusebenzeni. Njengoba kunjalo, ukuthanda izinto zocansi kushintsha ngokushesha. Esinye isibukeli sathi:

Ngingungqingili. Kulezi zinsuku, abesilisa nabesifazane engilala nabo benza izinto ezihambisana kakhulu nezenzo zocansi kunokuya ocansini. Izinto eminyakeni eyishumi edlule zazihlukile. Muva nje, owesifazane ebengilele naye ubuze ukuthi ngiyafuna yini ukumenza ucansi lwendunu. Angikaze ngikujabulele (nabesilisa noma abesifazane) ngakho-ke ngenqabile futhi wacishe wabonakala ekhululekile, sengathi bekuyinto ethile ejwayelekile elindelwe kwabesifazane. Futhi kuthatha unomphela ukuthi amadoda amaningi afinyelele kuvuthondaba kulezi zinsuku. Isoka lami lokugcina lahlushwa ukubambezeleka kokubambezeleka futhi yayingumsebenzisi we-porn osindayo kakhulu.

Omunye umfana wachaza ukukhula kwakhe kwaba okuqukethwe okungekho emthethweni:

Ngaqala ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, njalo, cishe eminyakeni emihlanu edlule. Okokuqala lapho ngamashumi abesifazane abahle, bese kuba yi-HC porn, bese kufakwa okungajwayelekile, bese kuthi abesilisa abagqokile, bese kuba ngabagxeki, bese kuba ama-hermaphrodites, bese kuba yi-porn yentsha, bese kuba imodeli ezisencane bese kuba yijele (okusazokwenzeka). Njengoba iminyaka idlula ngaya ngokuya ngiba nentshisekelo yokushaya indlwabu futhi ngibe nentshisekelo yokufuna "okusha". Ngasekupheleni, angikwazanga ukuhlala kwikhompyutha ngaphandle kokusesha. Angikaze ngicabange ngisho nokuthinta noma ngubani noma ngihlasela imfihlo yanoma ngubani (zonke izingane zami nabanye bangakufakazela lokho). Uma ngibheka emuva, angiboni ukuthi ngingahlala kanjani ngingazi kangako ukuze ngingabonie ukuthi nginenkinga.

Ukuqonda kangcono ubuciko bepulasitiki, ukulutha umlutha kanye nendlela yokuguqula lezo zindlela ezibucayi kubalulekile-hleze singaboshe abasebenzisi abasebenzisa i-porn njengabantwana abahamba ngezinyawo kunokuba baphathe izifo ezingekho ngaphansi kocansi kanye / noma umlutha. Ukuqwashisa okusengozini yokuzijabulisa ngokobulili kungakhuthaza abantu abaningi ukuba bafunde mayelana nezinketho zabo futhi bafune usizo ekuqaleni. Phawula okuhlangenwe nakho kwalaba bantu abathathu:

Abancane - Lapho ngisebenzisa i-porn ngaso sonke isikhathi ngiya kokuningi kakhulu. Kimina kwakungamantombazane amancane. Kusukela eminyakeni engu-10 kuya kwengu-16 ubudala - i-hentai, amamodeli, i-CP; ngangingenandaba, ngangikuthanda. Angisoze ngaphupha ukwenza noma yini nabo. Kodwa-ke, ngangihlala ngizizwa ngikhululekile ngakubo (kufaka nomshana wami) ngoba nganginenkinga enkulu yokuhlukanisa nemicabango yami yezocansi yamantombazane amancane. Kusukela ngiyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ukunambitheka kwami ​​kwabesifazane sekuvuthiwe kakhulu futhi kuthuthukisiwe. Ngangivame ukubheka abesifazane abanama-boobs amakhulu bese ngicabanga ukuthi 'Meh, mkhulu kakhulu,' kodwa muva nje bengicabanga ukuthi 'Ooh… Boobies.' Sekuphele amasonto ngabuka intombazanyana futhi ngicabanga ukuthi iyakhanga ngokocansi. TL; DR: Ngicabanga ukuthi ukusika indlwabu ezithombeni ezingcolile ze-Intanethi kungasiza ekulungiseni i-ephebophilia / pedophilia yami.

Izinyawo - Kancane kancane waba umlutha wezithombe ezingcolile zobulili futhi ekugcineni wangakwazi ukuzitholela ucansi langempela. Awazi ukuthi lokho kuyihlazo kanjani. Ngabe sengingena esimweni lapho ngangingakwazi ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile inyanga nenyanga, futhi angikwazi ukushaya. Emasontweni angama-6 kamuva, ngangivusa ama-erections aqinile futhi ubulili bufana nezinsuku ezindala futhi !!

Femdom - Angikaze ngicabange ukuthi ngizokwazi ukwenza ucansi olujwayelekile. Ngangihlala ngicabanga ukuthi ubuchopho bami babunzima nje ukuba buvulwe kuphela yisisu sami sowesifazane, kufana nendlela umfana ongungqingili angavulwa ngayo kuphela yiqhude, futhi akakwazi ukwazisa ucansi nowesifazane. Ngangingazi ukuthi isisu engangicabanga ukuthi sasinzima ngaphakathi kimi, kwakumane nje kungumphumela wemikhuba yami yokubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Kwakuyisihogo engizenzele sona. Manje, ngosuku 91 ngingenazo izithombe zobulili ezingcolile / ukushaya indlwabu, ngikwazile ukwenza ucansi oluphumelelayo namantombazane ahlukene e-3 kule mpelasonto, ukuhlangana ngokocansi okokugcina kuyokwanelisa kakhulu. Lokhu kuhlangana kwakamuva kwezocansi kwandise ukuzethemba kwami ​​kocansi kakhulu, futhi kususe noma ikuphi ukungabaza ebenginakho ngaphambili mayelana nokusebenza kwenqubo yokuqalisa kabusha.

Ukukhetha ngokocansi kuyindaba (kuqhubeka)

Umlayezo ojwayelekile wokuthi "ubulili bethu abunakungenwa ukukhetha kwethu" umlayezo onobungozi. Okokuqala, kusho ngobuqili ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi zisencane noma ukuya ocansini kwabantu abadala / izingane akunabungozi, njengoba kungenakuguqula indlela yethu yobulili engokwemvelo. Kungenzeka kangakanani lokhu ukuthi kube yiqiniso-ikakhulukazi uma kunikezwa ubucwebe obedlulele bobuchopho bethu phakathi kwamawindi abalulekile wokuthuthuka kwezocansi? (Bona lokhu iphepha lamuva mayelana nomvuzo wobulili nokuthandayo kanye nokuthunyelwe kwethu Kungani kungadingeki ukuthi u-Johnny Watch Porn Uma Athanda?) Emva kwakho konke, ama-rats angamadoda akukhulunywe ngawo ekuqaleni balahlekelwa okuthandwa ngabalingani babo bobulili obufanayo ezinsukwini ezingu-45 ngaphandle kokuqiniswa kwezidakamizwa nokuziphatha.

Kusobala ukuthi abanye abantu banezimo zabo zobulili ezifakwe ezinkambisweni ezingahambisani ngezenzakalo ezingaphezu kwamandla abo. Ubulili bezingane ezindala kungenzeka, kodwa cabangela le ndaba kusuka Ubuchopho Obushintshayo:

URobert Stoller, MD, i-psychoanalyst yaseCalifornia… waxoxisana nabantu abenza i-hardcore sadomasochism, eletha ubuhlungu bangempela enyameni, futhi wathola ukuthi ababambiqhaza be-masochistic bonke babenezifo ezingathi sína ngokomzimba njengezingane futhi bathola ukwelashwa okuvamile, okwesabisayo, okubuhlungu.

Ezinye izinto zokuthanda ngokobulili ziqondakala ngokucacile. Isihluthulelo ukuyeka ukuqinisa (ukugxila) ekuthandweni okungafuneki, nokuyeka noma yikuphi ukuziphatha okuhambisana nomlutha. Ngale ndlela, abantu bazitholela bona uma ukuthanda okungafuneki kuphelile ngemuva, bathi, izinyanga ezintathu kuya kweziyisithupha. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uNorman Doidge uyabhala:

Ngokuqondene neziguli [ezithola izinto ezingathandeki ezingcolile zobulili], iningi lakwazi ukuhamba elibandayo uma liqonda le nkinga nokuthi beliyiqinisa kanjani iplastiki. Bathola ekugcineni ukuthi bakhangwa futhi kulabo abashade nabo. Akekho kulaba bantu abanobuciko bomlutha noma izinkinga ezingathí sina zobuntwana, futhi lapho beqonda ukuthi kwenzekani kubo, bayeka ukusebenzisa amakhompiyutha abo isikhathi sokunciphisa amanethiwekhi abo ahlukumezayo, futhi nesifiso sabo sezintambo ezicwilisiwe.

Yiqiniso ukuthi amapulasitiki ahlukahluka. Ukuqhathanisa abantu abanjalo abaneziguli ezingaphansi kweplastiki:

Ukwelashwa kwabo kokuthanda izinto zobulili ezitholakale kamuva ekuphileni kwakulula kakhulu kunezo iziguli, ezesikhathi esibucayi [yentuthuko], ezithole izintandokazi ezinhlobonhlobo zobulili ezinenkinga. Kodwa ngisho namanye ala madoda ayekwazi, njengo-A., ukushintsha uhlobo lwawo locansi, ngoba imithetho efanayo ye-neuroplasticity esivumela ukuba sithole izinto eziyinkimbinkimbi ivumela nathi, ekwelapheni okunzulu, ukuthola abantu abasha, abaphilile futhi kwezinye izimo ngisho nokulahlekelwa abantu bethu abadala, abakhathazayo. Kuyinto yobuchopho bokusebenzisa-noma-noma-elahlekelwa, ngisho nalapho isifiso socansi nothando kuthinteka khona.

Abacwaningi bangase bafise ukushiya ukuhlolwa kokugcina kuze kube yilapho iklayenti ivunyelwe ukuthatha i-hiatus ende ekukhuphukeni ekuthandweni okungafuneki ngokocansi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yi-porn, i-act out, noma i-fantasy. Uma ukukhishwa kwemvelo kubonakala kungenakuguquguquka, ke unikeze usizo lwezokwelapha ukwamukelwa, noma mhlawumbe ukuphathwa impilo yonke.

Izimpawu zokuphulukisa zokulutha noma ukusetshenziswa kwezinkinga zocansi akuyona "indlela yokwelapha"

Okwamanje, kukhona odokotela bezocansi abadumile abakhetha ukuthi uma othile ecasulwa ukuthanda kwakhe i-fetish porn (ngisho nalokho okuvele kuphela ngemuva kokusebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile) akakwazi ukwenza lutho ngabo… noma uzobe “ehlanganyela ekwelashweni okuziphindiselelayo. ” Ukuvikela ubulili kusuka ekwelapheni okubuyiselayo umgomo omuhle, kodwa akuyona indlela yokuziphishekela ngokuzithengisa ukulingana ngokobulili nokuthanda izinto ezingcolile ngokocansi. Lezi zinsuku zivame ukungabi nobuhlobo obuseduze nobuhlobo bobulili obuyisisekelo futhi i-dopamine-agonist eyadlulayo yathonya izintandokazi zobulili obufanayo phakathi kwamagundane angamadoda asekhulunywe ngawo.

Ngokudabukisayo, imfundiso yokuthi “konke ukunambitheka kocansi kungokwemvelo” iholela emangeni okungekho muntu ongawashintsha iyiphi ukunambitheka ngokobulili ngaphandle kokulimala okungenakuqhathaniswa nobunikazi bakhe obuyisisekelo bobulili. Kuholela ekukholweni okusabalalisa ukuthi uma ukuthanda ngokocansi do morph, kumele bashintshe babheke ohlangothini olulodwa kuphela: ukuqondanisa okusondele kakhulu nobunjalo bangempela bobulili kanye "nezikhalazo ezijulile." Okusho ukuthi, uma ukuthanda komuntu ngokocansi kuqala ukushintsha, okuwukuphela kwento ongayenza ukugcina usondela ekujuleni (ekubeni umlutha kwezinye izimo), ngenkolelo yokuthi umuntu uhlala esondela emgodleni wezocansi ongaguquki — nokugcwaliseka okuhlala njalo.

Kodwa-ke njengoba sibonile, ukuthanda izinto zobulili ezihlambalazayo kuvame ukuholela ukukhula (ukubekezelelana) kunokugcwaliseka. Lokhu kwenzeke ngisho nakubaba wezocansi lesimanje, u-Alfred C. Kinsey:

Kwakunokuthile okubuhlungu ngendlela uKinsey ayesondela ngayo ocansini, hhayi kuphela empilweni yakhe yangasese kepha ocwaningweni lwakhe. Kuzo zombili lezi zindawo, wayeseqala ukucindezela kakhulu, njengendoda eyayiluthwe ingozi yokuthatha. Ukuphunyuka kwezocansi egumbini lakhe eliphezulu [izenzo ze-sadomasochistic nabathandi bakhe besilisa] kwakuyidlama lezombusazwe. … Nokho akagcinanga ngokuqhubeka nokubeka lezi zikhathi kodwa wahlanganisa nobungozi ngokwakha irekhodi elibukwayo. (Biography: U-Alfred C. Kinsey nguJH Jones)

Nakhu okushiwo nguKinsey uqobo, ngokususelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe:

Tshela abangane bakho abadabukisayo ukuba baqaphele kakhulu. Umzimba womuntu ulungisa ngokushesha futhi amazinga akwazi ukukhula ngokushesha.

Ngabe uKensey uzobaxwayisa abanye abafuna ukugqugquzelwa ngokweqile uma bekholelwa ukuthi uyangena ekuziphatheni kwakhe ngokocansi? Cishe cha-ikakhulukazi uma ehlaziye ucwaningo lwakamuva mayelana neuroplasticity neuroscience of addiction, futhi wayebheke ukuthi lihambisana kanjani naye.

Ukungafuni ukuphatha amaklayenti ngokusekelwe ekuqondeni ubuciko bezobuchopho bubavumela. Badikibala ekutholeni ukuthi bazisa yini izinto zabo zobulili zokuziphatha ngokobulili ngokwabo ngokweqile.

Ukuziphendukela kwemvelo kuqhutshwa ubulili (ukudlula izakhi zofuzo)

Njengomcwaningi UJames G. Pfaus ubonisa, ukuphelelwa amandla okuphelele ekuphenduleni kwethu ngokocansi akunakwenzeka, njengoba bekuyoba yinto enkulu yokuziphendukela kwemvelo:

Ingcindezi yokuziphendukela kwemvelo iguqula izindleko nezinzuzo zanoma yikuphi ukuziphatha, futhi ulwazi ngomvuzo (futhi mhlawumbe nokujeziswa) kugcina isilinganiso sezindleko nenzuzo. … Lesi silinganiso singashintsha ezimweni ezahlukahlukene zemvelo, kwesinye isikhathi ngokushesha nangokukhulu. Labo abangafunda ukuphendula ngemuva koshintsho oluzumayo… kungenzeka bakhiqize kabusha labo abangafundi.

UPfaus ukhombisile ukuthi ubulili besilwane esincelisayo bungalungiswa iphunga, isambatho nendawo lapho umcwaningi akhetha khona (ngisho nephunga lenyama ebolayo). Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho isipiliyoni sobulili siqina kakhulu i-wiring ye-neural iyaqina.

U-Lalumière noQuinsey (1998) babike ukuvuvukala komzimba ngokobulili emasimini abesilisa abesilisa ocansini emfanekisweni wesifazane okhangayo, ongeyona nude owayenamahloni ahambisana nevidiyo ebonisa ukuxhumana okuvusa kakhulu ukucansi. Iqembu elilawulayo elithola ukufinyelela kwesithombe yedwa (ngaphandle kwevidiyo) libonisa ukujwayela [kunalokho].

Ngamanye amazwi, Playboy kwaba ukuzijabulisa okudlulayo; I-hardcore video ukuqeqeshwa kobuchopho. Kubasebenzisi abathile, lokhu kuqeqeshwa kobuchopho kuholela izinguquko ezihlobene nomlutha lokho kususa amandla futhi kuhlose umuntu ukuba aqhubeke nokuphinda ukuziphatha-hhayi ngenxa yokuthi uyayithanda noma ngoba ivela ekuthambekeni kwakhe kocansi okuyisisekelo-kepha ngoba ubuchopho bakhe bunemizila ekhuliswe kakhulu ngemiklomelo "eyigugu" enjalo. (Ukwelashwa kokuvezwa kungenzeka kungasebenzi ngoba esikhundleni sokujwayela, uzothola ama-erections-ngaleyo ndlela eqinisa izindlela ezingafuneki ebuchosheni bakhe.)

Ubuchopho bamammalia buhlanganisa inkinga, ngoba ngokuvamile kuthola kulula ukungena ukunyakaza okungapheliyo kunalokho okwenzayo ukumelana nokuyenga okunamandla okuvumela ukulinganiswa. Kodwa-ke ubuchopho bethu bugcina ipulasitiki ethile ngokungapheli. Uma bengakwazanga, imilutha ibingasoze yalulama. (Bavame ukukwenza.)

Isiphetho

Ukuqonda kwesintu ngobulili bayo kudala kuhlanekezelwe yizingxabano ezingapheli phakathi kwabaziphethe kahle, abesifazane kanye nabashisekeli bokwehluka ngokocansi. Umsindo wabo usiphambukisa ekuphenyeni ngokugcwele ubulili bethu-kanye nezinketho zethu. Ukuqonda ukuthi ubuciko bezocansi kanye nesimo sokusebenza ngesimo sobulili kusebenza kanjani kubantu bekuyokwembula izingozi zokuqwashisa kusukela kokubili ukucindezelwa nokugqithisa okuningi.

Ngenxa yesayensi yakamuva kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima okuwinwe yilabo ababengabasebenzisi bezithombe ezingcolile ekuguquleni ukuthanda izinto zocansi, isintu ekugcineni sikulungele ukuqonda ubulili baso ngokombono wesayensi ngempela. Sekuyisikhathi sokuthatha umhlalaphansi ngokuthi, "Izindlela engizikhethile zokushaya indlwabu zihlala ziwubufakazi bokuthi ngingubani ngokobulili."

Kokubili izinhlobo zezilwane nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabantu uqobo (namuhla nakuwo wonke umlando) kusikhombisa ukuthi iningi lethu do isimo sempendulo zobulili, kodwa ngokuvamile ngaphandle kokuhlose ukwenza kanjalo. Futhi ingabe ipulasitiki kufanele ibe yindlela emgwaqweni owodwa ekubhekaneni nakakhulu kakhulu. Izinto esizikhethayo.

I-Neuroscience inganikeza indawo esivumelana ngayo sonke esingasebenzela kuyo ukukhulisa inkululeko yangempela yesifiso sobulili somuntu. Kungaba ubuwula ukungabunaki ubufakazi ukuze unamathele enkomeni engcwele “yokunambitheka kobulili okungashintshi.”

(Qaphela: Lokhu okuthunyelwe ngu ingxenye yesibili yempendulo ochungechungeni lukaSeltzer on Imicabango Engamabhiliyoni Amabhiliyoni.)

Bona futhi -

Umbuzo obalulekile

Ihanjiswe ngu-radoA ngo-Tue, 01 / 15 / 2013

Sanibonani nonke,

Ngisanda kubhalisa lapha kepha sengiyazi le sayithi isikhathi esithile futhi ngifunde izindatshana eziningi namazwana amalungu avela kule sayithi nakwisayensi yokusebenza kwengqondo-namuhla. Ngicabanga ukuthi umsebenzi wakho ubaluleke kakhulu futhi uyasiza ngoba kudingekile impela ukuthola lolu lwazi kubantu, ikakhulukazi kuzizukulwane ezisencane.
Kodwa ngokwanele ukushaya emhlabeni.
Lokho ebengizibuza kona selokhu ngifunde izindatshana ezikhuluma ngokuthanda izinto ezi-morphing (engizibonele ngokwami) ukuthi:

kufike kanjani ukuthi nakuba abasebenzisi abakhulu bezithombe zobulili ezingcolile babhekana nokushintsha kancane kancane ekuthandweni kocansi bese bekhula emithwalweni eningi kakhulu, i-peolple ehlukene iya ngezinhlobo ezahlukene zezitshalo?

Ngabe lokho akubonisi yini ukuthi ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza elibonakalayo le-porn noma umlutha we-porn odlala kule nqubo, ukuthi kufanele kube nohlobo oluthile lokuthambekela okwenza abantu bathambekele ezinhlotsheni ezithile? Kungani ngokwesibonelo ukuthi abanye abantu baqala ukubuka amavidiyo namantombazane amancane kanti abanye baya e-bdsm nezinto ezihlobene?

Kusuka kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​ngingasho ukuthi ngiye ekubukeni izinto ezingaphezulu kakhulu nangaphezulu zobufazi kodwa noma ngabe ngibuka izithombe ezingcolile ezingakanani angikaze ngicabange ukuya ezinganeni noma kwabesifazane abakhuluphele ngokwesibonelo (akukho cala kunoma ngubani). Lezo zinto azingishintshi nakancane.

Ngakho-ke lokho akukuthandi yini ukuphikisana kokuthi lokho kuthandwa akuveli ndawo (noma kulokhu kusuka ekusetshenzisweni kocansi) kepha kunalokho ukuthi babonisa ukuthambekela okuthile komuntu? Noma lokho kungachazwa kanjani?

Ngingayithanda kakhulu impendulo!
Ngikubonga kusengaphambili!

Imibuzo emihle

iphendulwe ngo-Tue, 01 / 15 / 2013

Ukuya ocansini kwabantu “kunesimo” kakhulu kunalokho ochwepheshe abakubonile. Kukhona namafasitela abucayi entuthuko, lapho ososeshini baxhuma izintambo “ngokujulile” (futhi bakhombise inkani ethe xaxa ukuguquka).

Abanye basebuntwaneni, futhi baba izinkumbulo ezisobala (abazi). Isibonelo, uma ukushaya ngandlela thile kubangele impendulo evusa inkanuko, kubekwa isisekelo esithile. (Ngicabanga ukuthi udokotela wezifo zengqondo uNorman Doidge uxoxa ngalesi sibonelo encwadini yakhe Ubuchopho Obushintshayo, ikakhulukazi kusukela esahlukweni esifanayo.)

Khona-ke kufika ukukhulelwa kanye nazo zonke izinkumbulo ezikhukhumezayo zithola amandla, futhi ziqiniswe ngezikhathi ezithile ezihambisanayo, ngisho nokungazi, zivusa.

Bese kulandela ukushaya indlwabu kanye nezinhlangano ezinezifiso eziphakeme kakhulu. Yilapho izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezikhuthaza ngokwedlulele zingaqala khona ukuthanda izinto zokuziphatha okubi. Ngenkathi ukungabi namuntu kwemvelo kungena, ubuchopho bufuna i-dopamine eningi ngobusha, ukufuna, ukushaqisa, ukunqatshelwa, i-kinkier, njll. Maduze nje umuntu ngeke akwazi ukuthola ukuthanda kwasekuqaleni. Kuyesabeka kakhulu, kepha kuvame ukubuyiselwa emuva ngokumisa zonke izinganekwane ezingcolile / zocansi.

Uma uthanda isayensi, nayi i-athikili yejenali enhle kakhulu eyenziwe ngumcwaningi (ongungqingili) olandelela ithonya lezigaba ezahlukahlukene zokulungiswa kokuthanda okulandelayo kocansi. I-Pfaus_Sexual_Reward_2012.pdf Le yindawo entsha ngempela - futhi engathandwa kakhulu ngabaningi bezocansi kanye nabanye abelaphi abanemodeli yokuthi ukuthanda izinto zocansi kuhlala kungokwemvelo. Isikhathi. UPfaus uveza ukuthi lokho kuguquka ngokuphelele kungaba isu lokulahleka kwemvelo. Abasabalalisi bezakhi zofuzo abaphumelelayo bazokwazi ukuzivumelanisa nezimo ezintsha / izikhuthazi.

Umbuzo othakazelisayo kunazo zonke uwukuthi: Kungakanani ukhetho oluthile oluthile olufakiwe? Lokhu kungase kuxhomeke ezintweni eziningi:

  • ubuchopho bomuntu obuhlukile (ezinye zingaphezulu kwepulasitiki kunezinye),
  • iminyaka yakho
  • lapho kwakhiwa inhlangano,
  • kungakanani okuqinisiwe,
  • ukuthi uzimisele kangakanani ngokungaqhubeki ukuphuma kuwo,
  • ukuthi unesizotha kangakanani ngokuchitha isikhathi sakho ngokukugqugquzela do bafuna ukubuyisela kabusha, njalonjalo.

Ubuchopho bakho buguquke ngokukhulelwa njengento ebaluleke kakhulu, ngakho-ke uma ungaqhubeki uye (noma ucabanga ngalokho) ongafuni ukukufaka ocingweni, ekugcineni ubuchopho obuningi buzoqala ukubheka kwenye indawo, futhi uma kungashisi lutho, Izinkomba ze- “vanilla” ziqala ukubonakala ziheha kakhulu. Ngokusobala, lokhu akwenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa. Ubuchopho “bungoplastiki,” hhayi “obuketshezi.” Omunye umfana omncane uchaze lokho aphikisana nakho:

Ngicabanga ukuthi labo bethu abangakaze (noma cishe bangakaze) babe nobulili obuphumelelayo kanye nobudlelwano kufanele badlule kwinqubo yokubuyela emuva nabesifazane bangempela. Ukuqalisa kabusha [ukuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile / ukushaya indlwabu] kufana nokuguqula kabusha i-hard drive ukuqeda igciwane, kepha ungabi nohlelo olusha lokuyisebenzisa. Hhayi ngendlela esisabela ngayo kokubonwayo, kepha nohlangothi lokuxhumana nolwemizwa lokuthinta abesifazane bangempela. Ngisezingeni elingu-zero uma kukhulunywa ngalokhu… ngaphansana kuka-zero, empeleni.

Futhi nakwabanye abantu, kungenzeka ukuthi ukuhlangana okungafuneki kwakusekuseni kakhulu, noma umlutha ujule kakhulu, ukuze unikeze amandla kabusha. Ngemuva kwalokho ukwamukelwa kanye nokulinganiselwa kukhona izinketho. Kepha kungakuvuza kakhulu, noma okungenani kufundise, ukuqondisa lokho okufunayo izinyanga ezithile, futhi ubone ukuthi kwenzekani. Nakulokhu futhi, ukungaguquguquki kunendaba. Guys kwesinye isikhathi kuyamangazwa amashifu abawathola.

Ngaphambi kokubhala Ingabe Ukuthandana Ngokwecansi Kungenakwenzeka? sibhala futhi Ungayethemba IJohnson Wakho?, ongase uthole okuthakazelisayo.

Kubuye futhi kukhokhele ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kwe- "sensitization" ne- "desensitization." Owesibili uphulukisa ngokushesha ukwedlula owokuqala. Lesi yingakho ucansi olujwayelekile luzokwenzeka isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuthi ulahlekelwe ukukhangwa kwakho yizinkomba "ezishisayo". Bangathatha isikhathi eside ukubuna. Nayi i-athikili enhle enezingcaphuno ezivela kubafana abaningi abakhuluma ngokuthi kunjani lapho ekugcineni bezizwa “izindlela ezisizwayo” ziba buthaka futhi zinyamalale. Kungani Ngithola I-Porn Ebaluleke Kakhulu Kunokuba Ngumlingani?

Ngamanye amagama, noma ngabe isibungu silenga isikhashana, akusho ukuthi "nguwe" ongacimeki. Kungaba yindlela yobuchopho eqinisiwe enenkani, ezodinga izinyanga noma ngisho neminyaka embalwa ukuze yenze buthakathaka.

Yaba nakho kwakho njengoba uya phambili. Isiza wonke umuntu osebenza ezinselele ezifanayo.