[Ingxenye 1 “Kunjani Ukuba Umlutha We-Porn?”]
I-Noah Church yisiphakamiso esaziwayo ezindabeni ezihlobene nokulutha kocansi kanye nomlobi we I-Wack: Inomlutha we-Porn Internet, ukubukeka kwezemfundo ukuthi i-internet porn ithinta kanjani abasebenzisi bayo. Ukwengeza, udale iwebhusayithi, Umlutha we-Porn Internet. Kulelo sayithi, uhlanganise imininingwane ayifunde kuye nokwenzeka kwabanye nakwizithombe zobulili ezingcolile — izindatshana, amavidiyo, nokuningi. Ubuye futhi anikeze abaqeqeshi bemfundo eyodwa kulabo abadingayo. Muva nje, UNowa wayeyisivakashi kwiPodcast yami yocansi, Uthando, & Umlutha 101. Ngithole ingxoxo yethu iheha kangangokuba bengifuna nokwethula i-Q & A noNowa lapha.
Kwami post odlule Kulesi siza, mina noNowa saxoxa ngesipiliyoni sakhe sokuphiliswa kwangaphambili ngomlutha wezocansi — ukuthi saqala kanjani, indlela esanda ngayo, ukungasebenzi kahle kwezocansi neminye imiphumela. Kulesi sikhathi, sixoxa ngohambo lwakhe lokululama kabusha.
Ngakho-ke uNowa, ungangitshela ukuthi waqala kanjani ukululama?
Lapho ngise-24, ngacabanga, “Kulungile, sengikulungele manje, nginamandla ngokwanele. Ngizobona ukuthi lokhu kuyini, nakanjani. ”Ngiqale ngendlela efanayo engaqala ngayo ukuthola izimpendulo ku-2008 ngisemncane, okwakukhona nje ukusesha i-inthanethi ukuthola izimpendulo. Kodwa ku-2008, akukho lutho olusize. Manje engikutholile kwakuhluke kakhulu. Ngithole izindaba zabafana abaningi, abafana abaseminyakeni yami yonke, abanezindaba ezifanayo zokutshela ukuthi babehlala kanjani besebenzisa ezocansi iminyaka eminingi futhi noma behluleka ukwenza ucansi okokuqala noma babephelelwe amandla okuvuka ngampela umlingani.
Ngicabanga ukuthi uyitholile i-WeBrainOnPorn.com namasayithi afanayo?
Yebo, kodwa okokuqala ngathola inkulumo ka-Gary Wilson ye-TEDx, Isivivinyo Esikhulu Sokuzijabulisa, futhi lokho kwangholela kuwebhusayithi yakhe [YourBrainOnPorn.com]. Ukusuka lapho, ngathola ezinye izinto. Futhi konke kwacaca nje ukuthi bekungenzekani ngami.
Kwakuyimpumuzo enkulu ukwazi ukuthi angingedwa ngedwa, ukuthi abanye abafana bakwedlule kulokhu, futhi badlule babona ngakolunye uhlangothi base belulama. Futhi ukwazi ukuthi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kwakuyimbangela yabo bonke lobu buhlungu obabenzekile empilweni yami — kwakungathi ekugcineni kwaba nokukhanya ekugcineni komhubhe. Ngakho-ke empeleni ngangijabule futhi ngijabule ngokuyeka i-porn futhi ngibone ukuthuthuka futhi ekugcineni ngikubeke ngemuva kwami.
Wenzeni ukuyeka i-porn, ukufeza lokho?
Well, into yokuqala engiyenzile ukubhala cishe izinsuku ezintathu ngqo. Ngisanda kubhala konke ebengikugcine ngaphakathi: umlando wami wonke wobulili bami, ukusetshenziswa kwami kocansi, ukushaya indlwabu, ubudlelwano bami, konke. Bengifuna ukukhipha konke ephepheni, kanye nokuthi ngangizizwa kanjani ngaleso sikhathi, engangikufundile, nokuthi izinhloso zami zikanjani ngekusasa. Lokho kwasiza kakhulu ukudala ukucaca okuthile, ukuletha ukugxila kulokho engangifuna ukukufeza, okwakuwukushiya i-porn ngemuva ngokuphelele futhi ngilulame ekuphazamisekeni kwezocansi futhi ngithole ubudlelwane obanelisayo.
Empeleni ngikuthumele njengephephabhuku, ngokungaziwa, ku- I-Brain Your Rebalanced, okuyisithangami sokusekelwa online. Lokho futhi bekuyisiqalo sebhuku lami, I-Wack: Inomlutha we-Porn Internet. Ngiqhubekile nokugcina irekhodi kumagazini wami njengoba ngilulama, futhi lokho kwaguquka kwaba ukufuna ukubhala okuningi ngokwengeziwe mayelana nalolu daba ngoba angizange ngizwe sengathi kukhona incwadi lapho eyayihlanganisa ngempela ulwazi umuntu onjengami oluzodinga kuye ukuhlenga kabusha. Bengifuna nje ukubhala incwadi ebengiyidinga lapho ngise16, 17, 18.
Kepha, ukubuyela emuva kancane, ngiduke kanjani ezingcolile? Ezinsukwini zokuqala kwakulula, ukwethembeka, ngoba nganginobuhlungu obuningi kangangokuba manje ngangihlobanisa nezithombe zocansi kangangokuba ngangisephesenti eyikhulu nje kuphela abazinikele, njengokuthi, “Cha, angikufuni lokho empilweni yami, e- konke. ”Ngangiqala nobudlelwano obusha ngaleso sikhathi futhi lokho kwangisiza impela. Ngagxila kuye nokwakha lobo budlelwano, futhi ngokungacabangi ngezithombe zocansi noma ngalingwa ukuba ngifune lokho okuqukethwe ku-inthanethi.
Njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, ngabona ukuthuthuka okuqhubekayo. Kwakunezinyanga ezimbili nengxenye ngaphambi kwentombi yami (ngaleso sikhathi) futhi ngaqala ukukwazi ukwenza ucansi. Futhi ayisebenzi ngokuphelele. Kwakungebushelelezi njengoba kwakuyokwenzeka ngolunye usuku, noma njengoba bengilokhu ngifuna ukuthi kube njalo, kepha kwaba yintuthuko enkulu. Ngangiqhubeka ngibona intuthuko ezinyangeni ezilandelayo.
Lobo budlelwano empeleni baphela cishe izinyanga ezinhlanu nesigamu ohambweni lwami kude nokubuka izithombe zocansi.
Udlule ekuhlukaniseni ukululama kusenesikhathi ngaphandle kokubuyela emuva?
Yebo, okwesikhashana ngenza. Ngempela ngangibuhlungu, ngididekile, futhi ngilahlekile, kodwa ngazinikela, futhi ngakubhala lokhu encwadini yami, okufakiwe kokugcina, ukuthi lokhu bekungeke kungiphindisele kwi-porn, ukuthi angizukukuvumela lokho kwenzeke.
Lokho kwenzeka ngokweqiniso cishe izinyanga ezintathu, ngabe sengibuyela emuva. Lokho okuhlangenwe nakho kukhumbuleka kakhulu kimi. Kwaba sengathi kushintshiwe emqondweni wami. Ngangingedwa, futhi ngangisegumbini lami, futhi ngokuzumayo, ngasizathu simbe, i-porn kwakuyinto engenzeka kimi futhi. Lokho kungenzeka kwavele kwabonakala phezulu, futhi kwaba sengathi ngifana nomuthi kaJones. Ngangiqhaqhazela, inhliziyo yami yayishaya ngokushesha okukhulu. Bengikhubazekile. Ngivele ngangena ngambathela egumbini lami cishe isigamu sehora, ngilwa nami, silwa. “Ngabe kufanele ngenze lokhu noma ngingafanele?” Futhi ngaphunyuka kuleyo mpi futhi ngazivumela futhi ngasebenzisa izithombe zocansi.
Ngemuva kwalokho, kwaba umzabalazo. Ngizoba-ngocansi amaviki amabili, izinyanga ezimbili, kepha bese ngibuyela emuva, futhi kwangithatha ingxenye engcono kakhulu yonyaka ukuphinda ngibe nezithombe ze-porn unomphela.
Loko okuhlangenwe nakho kwakunzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi ngoba ngangivele ngiyibhalile futhi ngiyishicilele le ncwadi. Ngazizwa ngisehluleki, ukuqiniseka, ngoba kwakumele ngibe uhlobo oluthile lwesazi kodwa ngangisazama. Kepha, uyazi, ngalesi sikhathi empilweni yami, ngibheka emuva, angizisoli kakhulu ngaleso sikhathi ngoba kungifundise okuningi ngami, futhi kwanginikeza uzwela olwengeziwe nokuqonda kwamandla weqiniso i-porn engaba nawo phezu kwabantu. Ngibuye ngizizwe sengathi ngingumqeqeshi ongcono manje kulabo abalwela into efanayo.
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Le ngxoxo izoqhubeka eposini lami elilandelayo kulesi siza, mina noNowa sidingida abantu abahlukahlukene abahlukumeza ngokocansi (abahlukumezekile futhi abaqala ukusebenzisa), kanye nomsebenzi wakhe njengamanje njengesipikha nomqeqeshi, nezinye izihloko ezahlukahlukene.
Okuthunyelwe koqobo: Yini Okufana Nesiyaluyalu Ukuyeka Ukusebenzisa Porn? Ingxoxo noNowa Church (Ingxenye 2)
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