NgoLwesibili, ngoJanuwari 17, i-2017. Xhumanisa esihlokweni
Amadoda aneminyaka engama-20 anokukhubazeka kwe-erectile, enqatshelwe ukusetshenziswa kwabo kwe-porn, okungaba umlutha kalula, kusho uGwen Loughman
UHLU olumnyama lwe-intanethi yizithombe zobulili ezingcolile. "Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ziye zaba isifo esiwumshayabhuqe emphakathini wethu," kusho uNoala Deering, ubuhlobo nobungqingili bezocansi nobudlelwano ne-Relationships Ireland. "Asibheki njengoba kufanele. Kuyinto engalawulwa futhi iyatholakala ngokukhululekile kunoma yiliphi iqembu lobudala elinokufinyelela kwe-intanethi. Asikwazi ukuvimbela isimo sezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, kodwa singafundisa nokusiza imindeni ukulungisa izingane zabo ukubhekana nezwe lokushintsha okungakaze kube khona. "
Ukulutha kocansi ngocansi kubhekwa ukuthi yi-tsunami elandelayo empilweni yengqondo. Amadoda aseneminyaka engama-20 aseneminyaka eyishumi nambili ayenakhumbula, uma ekhona, amantombazane agqoke amapulasitiki asepulasitiki emashalofini aphezulu e-newsagents. Izwe elinobuciko lingamasekhondi ngaphandle kokuthinta inkinobho.
Lezi zinsizwa ziveza nalokho okwakungokuhlupheka komuntu omdala: ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile. Lezi zinsizwa ezinempilo enempilo, ezingenayo izimpikiswano zezokwelapha, kodwa ukusebenzisa kwabo izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, okuyinto ngezinye izikhathi eziba umlutha, kuba nomthelela omubi ebuhlotsheni babo bocansi.
UDkt. June Clyne, u-psychosexual and therapist (www.sextherapyireland.com), ubona inamba ekhulayo yamadoda kumkhuba wayo ubika ubunzima bokuthola, nokugcina, ukulungiswa, uma usondelene nabalingani babo.
"Amadoda kuma-20 awo, ama-30, ama-40, njalonjalo, abe nezinkinga ekusebenzeni kwe-erectile. Kwabanye, abanenkinga yokuthola i-erection, kodwa banenkinga yokugcina eyodwa. "
UDkt. Clyne uthi ubudlelwane obuningi buphelile ngenxa yezocansi. "Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-intanethi ziyanda ngokwamukelekile emphakathini, ngakho-ke, lokhu kungenye yezizathu zokuthi kungani abantu bephuza ukuxhuma izithombe zabo zobulili ezingcolile ngokubhekene nezinkinga zabo zocansi. Ngempela, 'akuwona wonke umuntu obukeleyo'? "Uthi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezitholakala kuyi-intanethi zinikeza injabulo yesikhathi esifushane, kodwa ziphumela ezinkingeni zesikhathi eside, kuhlanganise nokusebenza kabi kwe-erectile, okungase kudingeke ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwe-Viagra kuqala.
I-Nuala Deering ithi amadoda ka-19 no-20 abhekene nezinkinga ze-erectile ngokuvamile bayazi ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwabo kwe-porn kuye kwabacasula futhi abaningi babo bafuna i-Viagra. "Kungenzeka, ekuqaleni, bathole imithi evela ku-GP yabo, kodwa ngokuvamile bayithole kuyi-intanethi, okungeyona into ephephile. Ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-Erectile kunzima kakhulu ngesikhathi esincane futhi iViagra ingabonakala njengendlela yokulungisa ngokushesha futhi inikeze ithemba esikhathini esifushane. Kodwa-ke, ukwethembela isikhathi eside kuViagra akusimeme futhi kuphakanyiswa ukufuna usizo lwezobuchwepheshe ukubhekana nanoma yiziphi izinkinga eziyinhloko. "
UDkt Clyne uyavuma. "Kudingeka sibheke izizathu zokuthi kungani abantu bebuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Ingabe kunesihawu, ukuqiniseka okuphansi, ukutholakala kalula / ukufinyeleleka, ukucindezela imizwelo? Ingabe yilapho sesisetshenziselwe ukuxhuma kwizikrini, ngakho-ke singasondelene, ukuthi asazi kanjani, noma kuphi, ukuthi sondela kumuntu 'wangempela'? Futhi kulabo asevele bebuhlobo, ukuxhuma? Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ukucwaninga kubonisa amazinga e-dopamine ebuchosheni angabuyela emazingeni ajwayelekile ezinyangeni ezincane nje, ngemva kokuyeka ukubuka izithombe ze-inthanethi. Ngingasikisela ukuthi uma umuntu enenkinga yokuyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, bafuna ukwesekwa kochwepheshe kusuka komuntu onolwazi kule ndawo. "
Ingabe izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zingaba yizemfundo kubantu abasha?
UJuni Clyne akacabangi kanjalo. "Ngempela, lokhu akuyona imfundo abayidingayo. Kukhona nezinye izingosi zokufundisa ezenzweni ze-inthanethi ezingekho zobulili ezingcolile. Angisona 'anti' ezingcolile, kodwa uma ngibona kakhulu umonakalo obangela ukuthi kungangishiyi kakhulu ukubuza imibuzo uma kunanoma yiliphi inani kulo, ngaphandle kweholo lemali ngenombolo ekhethiwe. "
I-Nuala Deering ithi: "Ngabantu abasha, iskripthi sabo ngokuphathelene nobulili, injabulo, nokuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze buyasungulwa usemncane. Lokhu kunzima ukushintsha. Ngaphandle kolwazi olufanele nolwazi olufanele lomphakathi ngokuphepha kocansi, abantu abasha bangakwazi ukukhubeka ngokungazi lutho ezindlini zokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, izinkinga zobudlelwane, nokubheja kobulili. "
Sifundisa kanjani intsha yethu mayelana nezingozi zezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kanye nokukwazi ukulutha?
UDeirdre Seery, isikhulu esiphezulu se-Sexual Health Centre, uPeters Street, uCork, uthi umtholampilo wabo wokugcoba unikeza abantu abasha imfundo yobulili. Bangakwazi ukubuza imibuzo futhi baphendule ngabachwepheshe. Uthi ukuxoxa nentsha encane akuyona i-rocket science. "Unesithakazelo esingokwemvelo mayelana nobulili futhi abaningi be-13- ne-14-ubudala ubudala basebenzisa i-inthanethi ngokungabi naseceleni."
Yingakho abazali kufanele bakhulume nezingane zabo ngezocansi.
Intsha inzima kakhulu ukuthonya kunezingane ezincane. Akunakwenzeka ukushiya yonke into yabo, ngakho-ke ukufinyelela kwabo izithombe ezingcolile. Intombazane esemdala kufanele ikwazi ukuzwa, futhi yazi, mayelana nokunyamalala okungcolile kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Umzali angayinika kanjani lolu lwazi ngendlela ephumelelayo?
Ubani abazali abangakwazi ukufinyelela lapho konke okunye okuhlulekayo futhi ingane yabo iqhubeka nokuyisebenzisa, futhi iyashukunyiswa, izithombe zobulili ezingcolile?
UCatherine Hallissey, imfundo kanye nengqondo yezingane, uthi uma intsha ifuna ngempela ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, izothola indlela. Uthi ngumsebenzi omkhulu futhi ukuthi, ngisho nemingcele endaweni, abazali abakwazi ukubambelela ngalokho okungabonakala ngaphandle kwekhaya. Ubeke uhlelo lokuhlelwa kwabazali kanye nentsha efanayo.
1. Ubulili nobulili akuyona inkulumo yesikhathi esisodwa. Vula, bese uqala ingxoxo kusenesikhathi, nge 'isikhathi esincane futhi esivame' isikhathi, kunokuba kuvele uzamcolo wolwazi kwiseseshini eyodwa nangesikhathi esizayo.
2. Kuwukuhlakanipha ukuba nemingcele. Noma kunjalo, ukugxila okuyinhloko kufanele kube ukwakha ubuhlobo bakho nengane yakho, ngakho banamakhono angokomzwelo nokuqina ukuze babhekane nokuthuthukiswa kwabo ngokobulili njengoba bekhula.
3. Khumbula, ilukuluku locansi luyinto evamile futhi inempilo futhi i-porn eyodwa iyodwa, noma iyinkinga, indlela yokwanelisa lelo curiosity. Intsha ingavame ukukhungatheka yilokho abakuthola khona. Uma kwenzeka lokhu, ufuna ukuba bazizwe bangakuza kuwe.
4. Izingxoxo zakho akufanele zigxile ku- 'porn kuyingozi'. Hlola ukuthi ingane yakho icabangani futhi uzizwa kanjani nge-porn. Batshele izingozi ngendlela engelona ukwahlulela.
5. Uma ukhuluma ngalezi zinkinga, sebenzisa izwi elizolile, elingathathi hlangothi. Azikho izinkulumo, akukho icala, akukho namahloni. Ungahlanganyeli emibuthanweni yamandla. Zenza inkulumo yakho kusengaphambili! Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ungabonakali ukwethuka. Lokhu kuzokwandisa amathuba okuthi ingane yakho izoqhubeka ukukhuluma nawe.
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