Ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-Erectile kutholakala AAma-75% wamadoda aseBrithani aneminyaka eyi-18 kuye kwengama-25 - isizukulwane sokuqala ukukhula nge-porn 'empompini'
NguJoe Madden, i-30 Septhemba 2016
"Ngokuyinhloko, izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zangiphula u-dick wami ukuze zingasebenzi nabalandeli bangempela."
Ngimazi u-Alec iminyaka engaphezu kweyishumi. Useminyakeni yakhe yama-30s, useLondon, futhi ungumlobi ophumelelayo. Uyahlekisa, uthandwe futhi uthandeke kahle. Kepha isikhashana lapho, bengingazi, wayelwa nenkinga eyingqayizivele yekhulu lama-21.
Ngesikhathi eseluliwe se-bachelordom, u-Alec wawela emikhubeni emibi emnyangweni we-crotch. Ngokunye okunye ukugcwalisa ubusuku obuthule maphakathi nesonto, wayeshisa izingosi zocansi futhi azithobe engacabangi - kaninginingi. Futhi aphinde. "Ngangiqhubeka ngishayela kakhulu ukube kwakungekhona kwe-porn," uyavuma, "kepha izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zangifaka ekungeneni njenge-subhuman."
Njengoba kudla isikhathi njengoba babenjalo, imikhuba yokushaya indlwabu ka-Alec efana ne-chimp yayingabonakali ikhathaza - waze wazitholela intombi. Futhi kulapho kuba nzima khona, ngoba lapho, ebhekene nomzimba ophilayo wangempela, ophefumulayo, wehlulekile ukuthola ukwakhiwa - kaninginingi. "Ngiyabonga, ubenesineke esikhulu futhi eqonda," usho kanjalo, "usho kanjalo," ngoba kuthathe isikhathi eside ukulungisa. ” (Isexwayiso se-Spoiler: bobabili manje sebebandakanyekile.)
Indaba ka-Alec akuyona into engavamile. Ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile (PIED) phakathi kwezinsizwa yisihloko esishisayo kwezempilo yezocansi njengamanje. Kungenzeka ukuthi uyazi indoda ene-PIED, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi ube sebudlelwaneni noyedwa: uma indoda yakho ivame ukungakwazi 'ukugcina ukuphela kwesivumelwano sakho kuze kufike' ngesikhathi sokuzijabulisa sabantu abadala, ungahle ube ngumfelokazi wezocansi. Eqinisweni, ukufinyeleleka okungakaze kube khona kwezinto ezilinganiswe nge-X kudala izinkulungwane zabafelokazi abasha be-porn nsuku zonke. Ngokusho kwe-Sexual Advice Association, i-75% yamadoda aseBrithani aneminyaka eyi-18 kuya kwengama-25 - isizukulwane sokuqala sokukhula ne-porn 'empompini' - babhekane nezinkinga zokungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile.
U-Alexander Rhodes, umsunguli weNoFap.com (okwengeziwe kamuva), uyaqiniseka ngokuxhumana phakathi kokukhuphuka kocansi kanye nokwehla kwe-boner: ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile emadodeni angaphansi kweminyaka engama-600 selokhu kwafika i-inthanethi. Iyethusa kancane, angithi? ”
QHAFAZA
Ngamakamelo ayo agcwele ukukhanya kwelanga nokuhlobisa i-cheery, umkhuba wongoti wezocansi uJanet Eccles - osendaweni enhle yaseGreater Manchester - akazizwa eyindawo lapho kuvunywa khona iziyaluyalu ezimnyama zocansi. Lokho-ke, iqiniso, lelo phuzu: ukuvinjelwa izikhali zakhe zokuhlambalaza nokuqina okufudumele kweMancunian, amaklayenti e-Eccles aveza izinto abangakaze balokothe bazitshele umphefumulo.
Sengibingelele, ngahlala phansi futhi wanginika ikhofi, u-Eccles uphendukela esifundweni esesiseduze: inani elandayo lezinsizwa liza ngeminyango yalo elalinakho ukungasebenzi kahle kwezitho zangasese ngenxa yokusebenzisa kwazo ezocansi.
“Amanye amadoda asejwayele kakhulu ukuchofoza inkinobho futhi asheshe akhuthaze ubulili,” kusho u-Eccles. “Bese bethola ukuthi owesifazane ongokoqobo, onenyama negazi akabaniki leyo nto yokuya ocansini, okuholela ezinkingeni.
Kube khona phakathi kokukhuphuka okungu-600% kuya ku-3,000% kokungasebenzi kahle kwamadoda emadodeni angaphansi kweminyaka engama-30 selokhu kwafika i-inthanethi
“Ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-Erectile yinkinga wonke umuntu akhuluma ngayo, ngoba ezinsizweni yiyona ebonakala kakhulu, futhi ezoshiya ophathina babo becabanga, 'Hawu, akangithandi!' Kodwa ukukhishwa ngaphambi kwesikhathi kungenzeka, noma kubuyise umjovo kabusha, lapho indoda ingakwazi ukukhipha khona. ”
Ama-boners angekho eceleni, i-PIED nayo ingabonakala njengendawo yokugwema ucansi nokuqina. “Kungenzeka ukuthi lo muntu ubeka izaba; ukulala ngezikhathi ezehlukene kumlingani wakhe; baze bagxeke ngisho nokubukeka komlingani wabo, ” kusho u-Eccles. Ukungathandi ukubhekana nalolu daba kubangelwa ukuphoxeka okubili kwe-PIED: hhayi nje kuphela ukuthi akakwazi ukwenza ucansi, futhi kungenzeka nokuthi wehlulekile ukulawula ukusetshenziswa kwakhe kocansi.
Kepha ngenkathi kungewona wonke umuntu ophethwe yi-PIED futhi ongumsebenzisi we-porn ojwayelekile, njengoba ungacabanga, ukuhlangana okukhulu phakathi kwala maqembu womabili. Futhi akuyona nje indaba yokuthi abafana ngokunganaki bacwilisa ama-libidos abo - kukhona okucashile futhi okugxile kakhulu emsebenzini.
"Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zisebenza ebuchosheni njenganoma iyiphi into eluthayo," kusho uDkt Nicola Ray waseManchester Metropolitan University, ongusosayensi wezinzwa ogxile ekuluthweni kokuziphatha. “Le nto osuyisigqila sayo ibamba imijikelezo yakho yezinzwa futhi iduna izindlela ezihlobene nemivuzo yemvelo ethe xaxa ukuze zingasabeli. Ngakho-ke i-porn iba ukuphela kwento ubuchopho obuyiqondayo maqondana nokuvuselelwa kocansi; empeleni ucansi lwangempela luya ngokuya lungathandeki. ”
Kwandisa lokhu kusabela kwemizwa umkhuba osakazekile 'wokuhlela' - ukubamba uvuthondaba isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka, egxuma esuka kuvidiyo kuya kuvidiyo ngenkungu eklanyelwe. Wonke umuntu osebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ukwenzile lokhu ngezinga elithile, kepha amanye amadoda ahlela ezingeni elilandelayo: “Kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokungena ngemvume imizuzu engama-30, kathathu ngesonto,” kusho u-Eccles, “nokubuka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili ezinhlanu , amahora ayisithupha iqonde ngaphandle kokuzijabulisa. ”
UKUFINYELELA KWEZINDABA
Ngesikhathi somhlangano onjalo, i-porn ebukwayo izokwanda ngokunamandla nakanjani: amavidiyo abonakala edlondlobala nangaphezulu kokukhanya ngesikhathi sehora elilodwa angaba yithikithi ngehora lesithathu nje.
"Kubasebenzisi bezithombe ezingcolile zesikhathi eside amazinga okukhuthaza adingeka ukufeza ukwanda okufanayo okuphezulu nokukhuphuka nokwanda," kusho u-Eccles. “Kufana nesidakwa sesikhathi eside esidinga ukubhidliza ibhodlela le-whisky ngaphambi kokuba sizwe nomsindo. Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi ukuthi ubheka izinto ezinhle ngokweqile. ”
Lokhu kwehla okuphansi kuyaqondakala ukuthi kudlala umonakalo ebuchosheni - okubuye kudlale umonakalo nezitho zangasese. "Ubuchopho bakho bukhipha kancane kancane i-dopamine - i-neurotransmitter ekwenza uzizwe ujabule - lapho ubuka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili," kuchaza uDkt Ray. “Udinga izinto ezijule kakhulu nezishaqisayo ukugcina i-dopamine igeleza, futhi ekugcineni ucansi 'oluyisidina' lwempilo yangempela alubhalwanga nhlobo ebuchosheni.” Yikes.
Abesifazane, kunjalo, babuka nezithombe ezingcolile - ngakho-ke kungani kunganqumi ukuziphatha kwakho ngokocansi ngendlela efanayo? Hhayi nje kuphela ukuthi udla izithombe ezingcolile ngokweqile - cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu zamadoda iyavuma ukuthi ziyibuke nsuku zonke, uma kuqhathaniswa nabangu-3.8% kuphela besifazane - nawe ukhetha izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene ze-porn kithi. Njengoba u-Eccles esho, “izinto eziningi ezisemasayithini amakhulu amahhala zibhekiswe kwabesilisa kuphela - futhi zilungile okubi. "
Umsebenzi wami wanking - ngiyabonga ngokubuza - uqale ezinsukwini zokugcina zesikhathi se-'analog porn ', lapho ama-softcore nudey mags - athengwa phakathi nohambo olubheke obomvu eya kwabathengisi - kwakuseyinto evamile. Ngesinye isikhathi ngangiba nephepha le-VHS - ikhophi elicijile lekhophi - eliqukethe izithombe ezingcolile zobulili ezingcolile ezingama-70s ezazivame ukuhlekisa kunokuvusa.
Ekupheleni komsila we-1990s internet porn yafika, kepha bekuvame ukuba ngumzamo omkhulu kunalokho obekufanele. Isivinini sokudayela senza umqondo wokuhlela iphupho lomsangano: ukusakazwa kwevidiyo bekusekude neminyaka, futhi angikwazi ukukutshela ukuthi mangaki amabhontshisi angenasineke engangiwathanda ukulinda i-jpeg eyodwa ukuze yenze isikrini esikrinini. (Ulwazi oluningi kakhulu? Ngiyayeka manje, ngiyathembisa.) Umzabalazo, njengoba besho, wawungokoqobo.
UMGWAQO WOKUQALISA
Emuva ngaleso sikhathi ngabe ngibulele ukufinyelela okuvamile kwe-porn intsha yanamuhla kanye nama-20-somethings anakho. Kubukwe endaweni yokubuka yama-30s ami, kepha, lelo pharadesi le-wanking libonakala lifana nejele, futhi ngiyabonga kakhulu ukuthi ngiliphuthelwe. Akukona nje ukuqondana kwezinto ukuthi isizukulwane sokuqala sokuya ebusheni sineminyaka yobudala ye-smartphone, i-wi-fi ne-Pornhub nabo bangabokuqala ukuhlupheka nge-PIED ngezinga elimangazayo. Uthole isoka lama-20? Cishe ubelokhu ebuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezisebangeni lezikhali kusukela ezinkantini zakhe zokuqala, futhi lokho akubanga kuhle ebuchosheni bakhe. “Sonke sihlanganyele ocwaningweni olukhulu lomphakathi manje, ngoba asikaze sibe khona isikhathi lapho wonke umuntu - kubandakanya nezingane - abe nokufinyelela okulula kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezinzima kakhulu. Okwamanje asikakwazi ngokugcwele ukuthi kuzokwenzekani, ”kusho uJon Brown, ohola i-NSPCC ekubhekaneni nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi.
'Ngangishaya indlwabu izikhathi eziyi-14 ngosuku. Ngithathe isinqumo sokuthi ngidinga ukuphumula izinsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa angikwazanga. '
Amadoda abuke izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kusukela ebuntwaneni anesikhathi esinzima ngokuqhathaniswa sokususa ubuchopho babo - inqubo eyaziwa ngokuthi 'ukuqala kabusha'. U-GP nochwepheshe wezocansi uDkt Anand Patel ubhekane neziguli ezingenakubalwa ze-PIED: “Uma zingaphezu kweminyaka engama-35 kuzothatha amasonto ayisishiyagalombili kuya kwayi-12 ukuqala kabusha,” usho kanje. "Kodwa uma bengaphansi kweminyaka engama-35 ubudala, ngakho-ke bakhula benama-porn online, bazodinga izinyanga eziyisithupha kuya kweziyi-12."
Ukukhathaza abantu abasebancane abane-PIED, mhlawumbe, kepha uDkt Patel uzimisele ukugxila kokuhle: “Njengoba benamahloni ngendlela abazizwa ngayo, la madoda kudingeka azi ukuthi 'awanamathele' ngaleyo ndlela,” usho kanje. Ungalulama ngokugcwele - if bayazisebenzela. Into efanele ukudluliselwa emadodeni empilweni yakho.
IMINININGWANE YOKUFUNDA KWE-ABSOLUTELY
Ngi-Skyping nomhlali wasePittsburgh oneminyaka engu-26 u-Alexander Rhodes, umsunguli wewebhusayithi yomphakathi yokuthola izithombe ezingcolile i-NoFap.com, kanye ne-poster-boy ye-intanethi yamadoda alwa nokulawula ubulili bawo eminyakeni ye-intanethi. ("I-Fap", ngasendleleni, i-onomatopoeic slang yokushaya indlwabu besilisa, kusukela ngomsindo we-fap-fap-fap owenziwa ipipi elidonswa ngokushesha. Yebo, impela). I-wi-fi iphansi ehhovisi leNoFap, ngakho-ke iRhodes iyishise ngezinyawo yaya eStarbucks eseduze nengxoxo yethu yevidiyo. Ngibona amakhasimende we-genteel frappuccino-sipping ngemuva kwakhe ebukeka ephazamiseka ngokwengeziwe.
“Ngakho-ke, ngizovele ngigxume ngingene ngaphakathi bese ngiyakusho,” kububula uRhodes, elungiselela ukukhwela. “Ngesinye isikhathi ngangishaya indlwabu izikhathi eziyi-14 ngosuku, futhi nganquma ukuthi ngidinga ukukuphumula izinsuku ezimbalwa, futhi ngathola ukuthi angikwazi. Futhi ngangizizwa ngingenamandla. ”
URhodes waqala ukungabi nankinga - futhi wakhangwa - ekulawuleni izithombe zobulili ezingcolile okwenziwa empilweni yakhe. Kwaqeda ukukhanga kwakhe kwabesifazane bempilo yangempela; Wayephendula izithombe ezingcolile ekhanda lakhe ngesikhathi socansi. Ngakho-ke wasungula umphakathi weNoFap kuReddit, owakhanga ngokushesha izinkulungwane zabanye “amaFapstronauts” bakubo emhlabeni wonke futhi wagcina eseqhakaza kuNoFap.com.
“Kuyinkundla enikela ngamathuluzi nokusekelwa kulabo abathathe isinqumo sokugwema,… izindlela ezithile zokuziphatha okwesikhashana,” kuchaza uRhodes, ukuzihlola yena ngenxa yabakwa-Starbucks abalalela izindlebe. Ugcizelela ukuthi iNoFap akuyona inhlangano elwa ne-porn. “Asifuni umthetho olwa nezocansi. Sikholwa ukuthi kuyilungelo lomuntu ukwenza noma yini ofuna ukuyenza, inqobo nje uma ingalimazi omunye umuntu. Kepha uma usebudlelwaneni, kungenzeka ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezocansi kuzolimaza impilo yakho yezocansi, futhi uma impilo yakho yezocansi ithintekile, lokho kusakazeka kuyo yonke indawo yobudlelwano. ”
Uma lokho kwenzeka, kusho uRhodes, ukuqala kabusha okubandayo okuwukuphela kwendlela eya phambili. UDkt Patel uyavuma. “Uphatha i-PIED ngendlela obuyokwenza ngayo nganoma imuphi umlutha, ngokuyeka isikhuthazi. Kunzima ukuhoxa ekusebenziseni i-porn, kepha uzothola ukubuya kwesasasa elijwayelekile lezocansi nokusebenza kwe-erectile ngaphandle kokusebenzisa umuthi. ”
Akekho owake ngakhuluma kulolu chungechunge wayekuvumela ukulawula izithombe zobulili ezingcolile noma ukuzisusa ebusweni bewebhu - kepha wonke umuntu wavuma ukuthi okuthile kuzodingeka ukuguqulwe ukuze kuvinjelwe izizukulwane ezengeziwe eziphila ngempilo yabo yesondo.
“Izithombe ezingcolile zobulili azixoxwa ngazo kwezemfundo yezocansi,” kusho uNoFap's Rhodes, “futhi kaningi akukhulunywa ngazo nakwezobudlelwano. Akufanele kube yinto engafuneki. ”
Ukukhuluma njengendoda ngicabanga ukuthi sidinga ukwethembeka ngokwengeziwe futhi sivulele ukusetshenziswa kwethu kocansi kanye nomthelela okuba nawo kithi nakubo, abafazi bethu nezintombi zethu. Uma kufanele kukholwe izibalo, ingxenye yesithathu yamadoda iyadla, nsuku zonke, isikhuthazi esinamandla kakhulu esishiya umphumela oqinile nongapheli ebuchosheni bethu. Sonke sikhululekile ngokuxwayiswa ngezingibe ezingaba khona zokuphuza, ukubhema, ukugembula njalonjalo, ngakho-ke sekuyisikhathi sokwamukela ukuthi ukukhwabanisa ku-Pornhub kuthwala imithwalo yemfanelo ethile futhi. Futhi uma senqaba? Hhayi-ke, ubuyoba ngaphakathi kwamalungelo akho ngokuphelele okusishiya - sisodwa, sizingele isihenqo, silahlekelwe kabuhlungu kubumnandi bokwenziwa ngenkathi into yangempela iphuma ngomnyango.
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