"Umbhalo wabo wezocansi usuphenduke indaba yomunye umuntu ngakho-ke abakwazi ukuzakhela amaphupho."
Kuthunyelwe ngo-September 13, i-2017 Gina Rushton I-BuzzFeed intathelizindaba, e-Australia (isixhumanisi esihlokweni sokuqala)
UDominic * wayeneminyaka engu-12 ubudala lapho eqala ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuyi-Internet futhi ezithombeni.
"Kuze kube ezinyangeni ezimbili ezedlule bengibhekabheka [izithombe ezingcolile] okungenani amahora amabili ngosuku," kusho lo mfana oneminyaka engu-28 waseSydney entshonalanga etshela iBuzzFeed News.
“Ngangibuke inqwaba yezinto ezilukhuni ngaphezu komcabango omubi womuntu ojwayelekile.
"Cishe ngangishaye indlwabu ngakho konke okwakungekho ohlotsheni lokudlwengula noma lokuhlukumeza izingane."
Ngokulinganisela kukaDominic, wayebuke ngaphezu kwamahora we-6,000 wama-porn online ngaphambi kokuhlangana kwakhe ngokocansi ngokoqobo empilweni yakhe eyi-20s yakhe yokuqala.
"Ngabona ukuthi kwakuyinkinga ngenkathi ngiqala ukuya ocansini nentombazane yamaphupho ami futhi ngangivele ngingeke ngikwazi ukwenza kahle ngendlela obekufanele ngenze ngayo."
Wayenenkinga yokuvuswa nokukhishwa ngaphambi kwesikhathi.
“Ngamahloni nokudideka okukhulu ngenza ucwaningo ngathola abanye ababhekene nezinkinga ezifanayo,” kusho yena.
UDominic uxhunywe nezinye izinsizwa kuReddit "ezikhuthazana" ukuthi ziyeke ukushaya indlwabu ocansini.
"Ngizamile ngobuqotho ukuyeka ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ndawonye ndawonye cishe izinyanga ezimbili manje," esho.
Okuye kwabizwa ngokuthi "ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile okubangelwa ucansi" ukungakwazi ukuthola noma ukugcina ukwakhiwa ngesikhathi sokwenza ucansi ngenxa yokuchayeka kakhulu ezithombeni ezingcolile.
Ucwaningo lwamuva lwama-Victorian lwe-15 kuya ku-29 lonyaka ubudala olutholakalayo cishe u-70% wabesilisa abahlolwe babesebukele okokuqala ngecansi ngesikhathi se-13 noma intsha futhi iningi (84%) nezinsizwa kanye ne-19% yabesifazane abasha ubukele izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nsuku zonke noma ngesonto.
"Ngakho-ke phakathi kweminyaka eyi-11 nengu-17 babukela isilinganiso samahora amabili kuya kwamane ngesonto futhi uma beqala ukuzwa ngocansi beneminyaka engu-17, baneziqu ze-bachelors ezithombeni ezingcolile ngaphambi kokuba bathole okokuqala ukuzibandakanya ocansini, ”umeluleki wezobudlelwano baseSydney nongumelaphi wezocansi u-Alinda Small utshele iBuzzFeed News.
"Ngibhekana nokulutha kwezocansi nezinsizwa ezingakwazi ukuphuma endlini ngoba zichitha amahora amahlanu noma ayisithupha ngosuku ziyibuka, kwesinye isikhathi kuvulwe izikrini ezimbili noma ezintathu."
"Nginamakhasimende amaningi asanda kweva eminyakeni engama-20 ubudala angishayela ucingo athi anokungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile futhi kuhlobene nokusetshenziswa kocansi."
Kwakunezindlela ezimbili eziyinhloko lapho i-porn ingaphazamisa ukungasebenzi kobulili kowesilisa ebuhlotsheni babo, kusho uSmall.
"Bangakwazi ukusondelana nabalingani babo besilisa noma besifazane kodwa uma sekufika ezingeni lokungena empeleni balahlekelwa ukwakheka kwabo ngoba i-porn ikhombisa lokhu kulindela okungenangqondo kokuba nokwakhiwa okukhulu nokuyigcina isikhathi eside," esho. .
"Ukuzikhukhumeza kwabesilisa kuntekenteke ngendlela emangalisayo kwezocansi."
Olunye udaba oluhambisana nokulutha kwezocansi kwakuwukwakhiwa kwendlela "yokushaya indlwabu ye-idiosyncratic".
"Uma ukujwayele ukudonsa kanzima epeni lakho akukho sangasese noma indunu ezophindaphinda lolo hlobo lokungqubuzana nalobo bunzima."
Lapho uSmall ebuza amaklayenti akhe "iyini imicabango yakho yezocansi?" uthe uvame ukuhlangana nokuthula.
“IGenerations eyedlule bebezobheka iPlayboy bazakhele izindaba zabo kodwa amadoda, ikakhulukazi, ngeke esakwazi ukukwenza lokho,” kusho yena.
"Uma bebuka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili ezingaka, imibhalo yabo yezocansi isiyindaba yomunye umuntu ngakho-ke abakwazi ukuzakhela eyabo imicabango."
USmall ucele amanye amaklayenti ukuthi ashaye indlwabu ngesithombe kunalokho, kodwa ukuziyeka ngokuphelele "bekudabukisa futhi kungadingeki" ngakho-ke bekunempilo ukushaya indlwabu cishe zonke izinsuku ezintathu.
I-Porn iphinde iphazamise lokho okulindeleke ukuthi abesifazane abasebasha bazibeke wona, kusho uNdunankulu.
"Imodeli yabo ejwayelekile ibheka izithombe ezingenazo izinwele zasemaphandleni nama-labias aphelele futhi manje bazicela kanzima futhi ngokushesha ngoba bacabanga ukuthi kuyinto ejwayelekile leyo."
* U-Angus waqala ukushaya indlwabu ezingcolile zobulili ezingcolile kuyi-Internet ngenkathi eneminyaka engu-13 ubudala.
"Ngenkathi sengisezingeni eliphezulu lokuba umlutha wami nganginama-sessions asukela kwezine kuya kweziyisishiyagalombili ezocansi (PMO) ngosuku," kusho lo mfana oneminyaka engu-27 etshela iBuzzFeed News.
Wabona ukuthi ukuthanda kwakhe kwashintsha eminyakeni eyishumi ezayo.
"Kwaqala ukuhamba kahle, i-vanilla hetero ne-girl-on-girl," esho.
"Ekugcineni kwavela ekubeni [ukubuswa kwabesifazane], izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zobulili ezingcolile kanye nezithombe zobulili ezingcolile."
Ngesikhathi esebenze ngokobulili e-16, u-Angus wathola kunzima ukukhuluma nge-orgasm.
"Angikaze ngiluthokozele kakhulu ucansi ngenkathi ngishaya indlwabu ocansini ngoba ucansi empilweni yangempela alunzima njengakwizithombe zocansi," esho.
"Kunjengokuhamba ukusuka ku-rollercoaster kuya kusetha."
Ngemva kokufunda izifundo ezimbalwa ku-intanethi, u-Angus wanquma eneminyaka yobudala ye-25 ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwakhe nge-porn kumthinta "ngengqondo nangokwecansi".
I-Angus ayizange ibheke izithombe ze-porn ezinsukwini ze-20 ezedlule.
"Ngaya ezinsukwini ze-170 ekuqaleni konyaka, kodwa ngabuyela emuva."
"I-Porn iyilutha kakhulu futhi ngiye ngabona izimpawu zokuqeda ukuyeka."
"Lokhu kuzozwakala kungenangqondo kodwa ngingancoma ukubhema ugwayi ngenxa yokushaya indlwabu ezithombeni ezingcolile."
Kusukela eqala ukushaya indlwabu ngaphandle kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, u-Angus uye waphawula ukuthi ukukhethwa kwakhe "kunamandla futhi okuqinile".
"Ukuthinta nokubona owesifazane wangempela kujabulisa kakhulu kimi njengoba sengiyekile."
I-sexologist yezokwelapha uTanya Koens uthe ubonile iziguli ezinezinkinga eziningi zokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi ezivela ngenxa yokujwayele ukushaya indlwabu.
"Ngoba izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zitholakala kalula la madoda ehla emgodini wonogwaja we-porn lapho abheka khona lokhu nalokhu nalokhu futhi bagcina bechitha isikhathi eside besesimeni sokuvuka futhi kuthatha isikhathi eside ukuzisusa," UKoens utshele iBuzzFeed News.
Uphinde wabhekisa ezigulini ezazinendlela "yokushaya indlwabu e-idiosyncratic" eyayingaphindaphindwa "nomuntu othambile, ofudumele, o-squidgy": "Ungazifaka ebhodini uma usizama nomlingani wakho."
"Ngokuyinhloko, ngibenza bashaye indlwabu bemi ngezinyawo futhi yonke imizuzu babheka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile imizuzwana engu-10 kufanele babheke eceleni bacabange ngomzimba wabo hhayi esikrinini," esho.
"Kuyindlela yokwenza umuntu asuse amakhanda akhe angene nasemizimbeni yabo nokuyilapho kumnandi khona."
U-Koens kwesinye isikhathi ubuza amaklayenti ukuthi "ashaye indlwabu ngesinye isandla" futhi abuye enze "ukuphefumula nokunyakaza" ngokuya ngemigomo ye-tantric.
Izithombe zocansi ezibandakanya "izithombe zocansi ezinyantisayo" bezisonta ukuqonda kwamadoda kokuthi "isebenza kanjani imizimba yabesifazane".
"Abantu bacabanga ukuthi kufanele bangene kuwo njengezinkanyezi ezingcolile futhi kuyindlela yomlilo yokuqinisekisa ukuthi abanabo ubulili obuhle kakhulu," esho.
"Ubulili obudla lubi kakhulu futhi abunampilo noma yini ezogcina izintombi zabo zithande izinyanga ezingaphezu kwezintathu."
Abalingani besifazane bamakhasimende akhe bavame ukuthatha ukungasebenzi ngokocansi ngokwabo futhi basala bezizwa "bengathandwa futhi bengenanhlonipho", kusho uKoens.
Kodwa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile azizange zithathe indawo yezocansi, uthe: "La madoda awaqhathanisi intombi yabo nezithombe zabesifazane ezithombeni ezingcolile akuyona into engayithatha noma ayiqhathanise nempilo yabo ekhona yocansi."
Abanye abantu "abalokothi bathole indlela ebuyela kumlingani wabo" kusuka ekusebenziseni i-porn njalo, uDan Auerbach, udokotela wezifo zengqondo kanye nomeluleki wezobudlelwano e-Associated Counsellors kanye ne-Psychologists uSydney utshele iBuzzFeed News
"Amandla ezocansi athathwe ayiswe kwenye indawo kanti isivumelwane esinenzondo siba yinto engashiwongo ukuhlala kude nomunye noma ucansi luba yinto eyejwayelekile futhi lokhu kuba yinto ejwayelekile," esho.
“Umlutha wezocansi ungafana kakhulu nokugembula ngoba unale smorgasbord engenamkhawulo nezinhlobonhlobo zokugqugquzela ongabona ubuso bomlingisi, imisindo, ubujamo, imibala nosayizi namadivayisi wokugembula akhiwe ukukunikeza imivuzo eyengeziwe oyilindayo futhi oyifunayo ukuphuma. ”
"Kodwa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, njengocansi oludonswa yizidakamizwa, zingasinikeza ukunqoba okusheshayo futhi zikhulule ukukhungatheka okuningi kepha njengezinto zonke ezijabulisa kakhulu ngemithamo emincane siba yisifiso kubo futhi konakalisa isobho."
* Amagama amadoda axoxwa ngawo kulesi sihloko ashintshiwe ukuze abhekane nokukhathazeka kwabo kwangasese.
UGina Rushton ungumbiko wezindaba wezindaba weBuzzFeed News futhi usekelwe eSydney.
Xhumana noGina Rushton ku [i-imeyili ivikelwe].
;