Incwadi evulekile eya kuSimon Louis Lajeunesse
UProfesa othandekayo uLajunesse,
Ngisanda kufunda ngesiphetho sakho ukuthi izithombe ezingcolile azilimazi. Ngiyazibuza ukuthi kungakuhle yini ukwakhiwa kabusha uhlu lwemibuzo lwakho. Bengilokhu ngibona (isekeli) ingozi enkulu evela ku-porn, kanye nezinye izinzuzo ezimangazayo ngokushiya ngemuva. Engikufundayo kusikisela ukuthi kuzodingeka ubuze imibuzo ehluke kakhulu ngezihloko zakho uma ufuna ukukala ubungozi bokusetshenziswa kocansi kwe-Intanethi.
Akungimangazi ukuthi ingozi esheshayo kubantu besithathu evela kubasebenzisi be-porn incane. Ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngengozi kubasebenzisi ngokwabo.
Nginombono oyingqayizivele ngoba iwebhusayithi yami ijwayele ukuheha amadoda amaningi aphethwe yizocansi futhi aphelelwe ukuyeka. (Kungani, niyabo Yisiphi Isisindo Sabasebenzisi Abangiqeqeshayo.) Lapho bekwazi ukukhipha i-unokok — imvamisa ngemuva kwesilingo esinzima-babika ukwehla kokukhathazeka komphakathi, ukuzethemba okwandayo, ukuheha okukhulu kubantu abangahle babe ngabalingani babo, kanye nenjabulo eyengeziwe evela ezinjabulweni ezicashile zokuphila. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo okuningi kuqoqwe esahlukweni esibizwa Umgwaqo Wokudlula.
Ukucacisa nje ukuthi ngivelaphi, angicabangi ukuthi ingozi eyinhloko yezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ihlobene kakhulu nezocansi ngqo. Kuvela emiphumeleni yokukhuthaza okukhulu kumjikelezo womvuzo wobuchopho. Uma ungayazi le ngxenye yobuchopho, indima yayo ekushayeleni isimilo sethu, ingxenye yayo ekuluthweni, noma indima ye-neurochemical dopamine kulezi zinqubo, ngingajabula ukusikisela okuthile kokufunda. Nayi ifayili le- isihloko esifushane ngudokotela wezinzwa ozokunikeza umbono wokuthi ngikhuluma ngani.
Ingcuphe engingathanda ukubona ikheli lochwepheshe nayo ikhona abasebenzisi begeyimu yevidiyo. Kuyinto yemvelo kunoma imuphi umsebenzi (noma into) ongaba yimpoqo ngenxa yemiphumela ye-dopamine kumjikelezo wokuqala womvuzo wobuchopho. "Inovety-on-demand" iheha kakhulu le ngxenye yokuqala yobuchopho, ukuthi ukuphoqeleka kuyingozi yangempela. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi lokhu kube yingxenye yokuthi awutholanga iqembu elilawula izithombe ezingcolile ocwaningweni lwakho? (Ngaphandle kweqembu elilawulayo, kunzima ukuphetha ngokuthi ukusetshenziswa kocansi akunamiphumela emibi.)
Ngeshwa, uma kukhulunywa ngokushaya indlwabu ezintweni ezibekela obala ezocansi, umphakathi wethu uvame ukulahleka ezingxoxweni mayelana nenkulumo yamahhala, okuqukethwe, ukucindezelwa ngokocansi, nokulimaza abantu besithathu. Lokhu kufihla inkinga ebalulekile yemijikelezo yomvuzo osengozini yobuchopho. Le ngxenye yobuchopho iguquke yabaluleka kakhulu hhayi okufunwayo kuphela, kepha futhi ne-bonanza yezofuzo yocansi nomlingani wenoveli. Ngakho-ke, inkanuko yanamuhla yezocansi evamile, enikeza abalingani abasha ukukhala ngokukhipha i-ejaculate ngokuchofoza ngakunye kwegundane, ibhalise njengenzuzo kangangokuba ubuchopho buzivikela kalula ukugxila ngokwengeziwe kokuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo "okubalulekile".
Ukuqonda okucacile kokujikeleza komvuzo kuveza ukuthi kungani ukufanisa kwakho ukuthi "izikhangiso ze-vodka zikudakwa ngokweqile lokho i-porn ekuluthweni kocansi" kungenzeka kungabi isifaniso esihle kakhulu. Abasebenzisi be-Porn basebenzisa izithombe ezingcolile ukushaya indlwabu, ngaleyo ndlela baqinise ukuxhunywa kobuchopho babo ngokuqhuma kwe-neurochemical of orgasm. Izikhangiso zeVodka ngeke zitholele noma ngubani ophakeme. Izithombe ezingcolile is umlutha; izithombe ze-vodka azikho.
Le nqubo yokubuyisela emuva kabusha ingahle ihlele kabusha ngokushesha izinto ezibalulekile zomsebenzisi.
Ukuba umlutha kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-intanethi akusona isingathekiso. … [Abasebenzisi be-Porn] bayengelwa ezikhathini zokuqeqeshwa kwezithombe zocansi ezihlangabezana [nazo] zonke izimo ezidingekayo ekuguqulweni kwepulasitiki kwamamephu obuchopho… [okungukuthi,] ukunakwa ngokucophelela, [ukuqiniswa, nokuhlanganiswa kwe-dopamine kokuxhumeka okusha kwe-neural]. k. 108-9 Ubuchopho Obushintshayo nguNorman Doidge (2007)
Abanye abasebenzisi baqala ukufaka indawo yobunono bokuxhumana ngokubungane, ubudlelwane obuseduze, ukufunda amakhono okuphila, njalonjalo. Umvuzo wabo wesifundazwe awusaboni ukuthi lo mdlalo uwufanele umzamo.
Ukushaya indlwabu okuphoqelekile kuzwakala kumnandi, kepha ngethembe ukuthi akunjalo. Njenganoma imuphi umlutha, ukukhuthaza okukhulu kakhulu kudicilela phansi i-dopamine. Imiphumela ihlanganisa ukuba unqatshelwe ezinjabulweni ezicashile zokuphila, njengezintelezi zabalingani abajwayelekile, futhi, ngasikhathi sinye, ziba ngokweqile i-hypersensitive kunoma yiziphi izinkomba ubuchopho buzivuselele kabusha ukuze buzihlanganise “nokukhululeka.” Ubuchopho bomsebenzisi buhlala buhlola imvelo nganoma yisiphi isibonakaliso sezenzo zocansi ezingasiza, kulokhu, ukushaya indlwabu ku-orgasm. Ukubekezelelana kuyakha, okwenza ukuphishekela izinto ezishukumisa kakhulu kube yisibopho sokuqeda usizi lokuhoxa.
Le nhlanganisela yemiphumela ingenza umhlaba ubukeke ungwevu. Kujwayelekile impela ukuthi abesilisa ababanjwe kulo mjikelezo bazizwe bekhathazeka ngokwenhlalo phakathi kwabanye, ukudangala, ukuphelelwa yithemba, ukunganaki, njalonjalo. Kuze kube yilapho “beqala phansi” ubuchopho babo, impilo ibonakala ingenanjongo, kepha ekuphishekeleni okugxile kokunye okushisayo. Okuxakayo ukuthi i-porn ayinciphisi ngisho nokukhungatheka ngokocansi, ngaphandle kwesikhashana nje… kwesinye isikhathi. Akuvamile ukuthi abasebenzisi bazitike nge-orgasm ngemuva kwe-orgasm ngoba abakwazi nje ukuklwebheka kwabo ngempumelelo. (Ukuphakama okukhulu kubangela ukwehla okukhulu, nesifiso sokuningi.)
Imvamisa abasebenzisi abaqapheli ukuthi banomlutha noma ukuthi yini abayidlulisayo baze bavule ekusebenziseni izithombe ezingcolile zobulili futhi banikeze ubuchopho babo ithuba lokubuyela ekulinganisweni. Ukuhoxa okude okudingekayo ukufeza lokhu kungaba buhlungu kakhulu (ukuzamazama, ukuqwasha, ukuphelelwa yithemba, izifiso) abaningi abazizwa bebhajwe.
Ngicabanga ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kocansi okuphoqeleka kukhulu kakhulu kunokwamukelwa, futhi kwanda. Ngicabanga ukuthi ukuqinisekiswa kokubheka kwami kuyoba sobala uma uhlela ucwaningo oluzungeze indlela esetshenziswa ngumlobi we I-Porn Porn-Off . Thola ukuthi ngabe izithombe zakho ezingcolile zobulili ezingcolile zingahamba yini amasonto ambalwa ngaphandle ukubukela izithombe ezingcolile. (Kubasebenzisi abangaba ngu-100 be-porn, i-70% ayikwazanga ukuhamba ngaphandle kwayo amasonto amabili kwi-Great Porn-Off.) Futhi, landelela imizwa yabo ngenkathi bengekho.
Ngesinye isikhathi, i-porn ye-Intanethi ibonakala ifaka engcupheni ekhethekile. Nakhu okushiwo yindoda eyodwa esithangamini sami namuhla:
Ngomagazini i-porn kwakuyizikhathi ezimbalwa ngesonto futhi ngangikwazi ukuyilawula ngokuyisisekelo. ICos bekungeyona leyo 'ekhethekile' ngempela. Kepha lapho ngingena ezweni elingcolile le-inthanethi ye-porn, ubuchopho bami babuthole okuthile ebikufuna ngokweqile…. Bengingalawuleki kungakapheli izinyanga eziyisithupha. Iminyaka yama-mags, azikho izinkinga. Izinyanga ezimbalwa zocansi oluku-inthanethi… ziluthekile.
Lokho kusho, enye indoda yathi ukushaya indlwabu kwaba yinto ephoqelekile kuye nakuba engakaze ayithande i-porn (pre-Internet) futhi akaze azizwe enecala ngokushaya indlwabu. Ngakho-ke, kusobala ukuthi umvuzo wesifundazwe uhlukahluka.
Ngishilo ngenhla ukuthi ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngengozi kubasebenzisi be-porn ngokwabo. Iqiniso ukuthi ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngathi sonke. Ngicabanga ukuthi iplanethi lapho abesilisa abafundela ikhompyutha bebeka engcupheni enkulu yokusetshenziswa kocansi okuphoqelela kungenzeka kube yiplanethi engajabule kakhulu. Cabanga nje zonke lezo zinkosana zibhajwe ezingutsheni zamaxoxo, zizama ize ukudambisa izifiso zazo ezinamandla zokuvuselela ngokwengeziwe, ngaphandle kwesikhathi esincane, ukuzwela noma ukuxazulula okusele ekudaleni, izimbangela ezinhle, ubudlelwano, noma ubumnandi bemvelo.
Nazi okuthunyelwe kwamuva kwamadoda amabili abuyela ekulinganiseni:
Ngizizwa futhi. Ngizwa imizwa futhi. Ngemuva kokunciphisa ukubukwa kocansi, ngiyabona ukuthi ngikuthola kungakhuthazi njalo lapho ngiyibona. Ngempela ngalala ngesikhathi se-movie yabantu abadala ngobunye ubusuku! Intshisekelo yami kwabesifazane ikhuphukile, ukuzethemba kwami kuphezulu futhi kunginika ugqozi futhi. Ngineminyaka engama-28 manje futhi kuze kube yiminyaka embalwa edlule ngizwe sengathi sengikhulile ngineminyaka engu-15 ubudala. Kepha njengoba ngilulama futhi ngilulama kulo mkhuba, ngizwe imizwa engingakaze ngibhekane nayo ngaphambili. Kungisizile ngakhula.
Ngikhululeke ngokwengeziwe kimi futhi ngingabheka abantu emehlweni, ngomusa nangokuzethemba okungaphezu komuntu. Benginabesifazane ababili abazethule kimi izolo, bangixhawula bangibamba. Hewu. Ngangikhululeke kakhulu ukukhuluma nawo wonke umuntu-hhayi umkhuhlane wami ojwayelekile wokulinda ukukhuluma noma ukuzama ukuthulisa umuntu ngalokho acabanga ukuthi ungumuntu opholile. Nginokuqala kokuxazulula manje, futhi ukububula kwami kuzizwa kuqinile futhi "kunokuthula"? Ngabhala amakhasi amabili weskripthi angena esiqondisweni esijule kakhulu kunalokho ebengikulindele. Ukuvivinya umzimba kungophahla.
Ngithemba ukuthi ungathola indlela yokulinganisa izinkomba ezinjalo, ngoba abantu abajabulayo, abanempilo bayisisetshenziswa esiyigugu. Kunoma ikuphi, ngikufisela okuhle kakhulu ngokucwaninga kwakho.
AMAKHAYA:
- Ukuxilongwa okusemthethweni? Umbhalo wezokwelapha wezokwelapha osetshenziswa kakhulu emhlabeni, I-International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), iqukethe ukuxilongwa okusha efanelekile ukulutha izidakamizwa: "Ukucindezeleka Ngokuziphatha Ngokwemvelo. "(I-2018)
- Ukulutha kobulili / ucansi? Leli khasi libala Ucwaningo lwe-39 lwe-neuroscience (I-MRI, i-FMRI, i-EEG, i-neuropsychological, i-hormonal). Banikeza ukusekela okuqinile ngesimodeli sokulutha kwezidakamizwa njengoba iziphumo zabo zibuyisa ukutholakala kwezinzwa ezibikiwe ezifundweni zokulutha izidakamizwa.
- Imibono yangempela yezobuchwepheshe ekubhekaneni nocansi / ucansi? Lolu hlu luqukethe Ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi ezingama-16 zakamuva nezincazelo ngezinye zezazi eziphezulu zezinzwa emhlabeni. Bonke basekela imodeli yokulutha.
- Izimpawu zokulutha umlutha nokukhula kwezinto ezimbi kakhulu? Ngaphezulu kwezifundo ze-30 zokubika okutholakele okuhambisana nokwanda kokusetshenziswa kocansi (ukubekezelelana), ukujwayela i-porn, kanye nezimpawu zokuhoxa (zonke izimpawu nezimpawu ezihlobene nokulutha).
- Ukubheka iphuzu lokukhuluma elingasekelwa ukuthi "isifiso sobulili esiphakeme" sichaza ukulahla ucansi noma ukulutha ngokobulili: Okungenani izifundo ze-25 zikhohlisa isimangalo sokuthi ubulili nemilutha ye-porn "banesifiso esiphakeme sobulili"
- Izinkinga zobulili nezinkinga zobulili? Lolu hlu luqukethe izifundo ze-26 ezixhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kwe-porn / ukubheja kocansi ezinkingeni zobulili kanye nokuvusa okuncane ezenzweni zobulili. I fiziqu ze-5 ezingekho ohlwini zibonisa ibangela, njengoba abahlanganyeli beqede ukusetshenziswa kwezingcolile kanye nokuphulukisa okungavamile kocansi.
- Imiphumela yocansi ebuhlotsheni? Ucwaningo oluseduze lwe-60 luxhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kwe-porn kuya ekungeneni kocansi nokuzaneliseka komndeni. (Njengoba sifana nathi konke Izifundo ezibandakanya abesilisa ziye zabika ukusetshenziswa okuningi kocansi okuxhunyiwe abampofu ubulili noma ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano.)
- Ukusebenzisa i-Porn kuthinta impilo engokomzwelo nengqondo? Izifundo ezingaphezu kwe-55 zixhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kocansi nezimpofu ezingokwengqondo-ezingokomzwelo nemiphumela empofu yokuqonda.
- Ukusebenzisa i-Porn kuthinta izinkolelo, isimo sengqondo nokuziphatha? Hlola izifundo ngabanye - ngaphezu kokuqukethwe kwe-25 ukuxilongwa kwe-porn ukuze "isimo sengqondo esingafani" kubesifazane kanye nokubukwa kobulili - noma isifinyeto kusuka kulolu cwaningo lwe-2016 meta: Imidiya nezocansi: Umbuso woPhando lwezobuciko, i-1995-2015. Umbhalo:
Umgomo walokhu kubuyekezwa kwakungenxa yokwenza umsebenzi wokuhlola uphenyo wemiphumela yokuhlolisisa imidiya. Okugxile ekucwaningweni okushicilelwe ezincwadini zamaphephandaba ezibukezwa kontanga, phakathi kwe-1995 ne-2015. Isamba sezincwadi ze-109 eziqukethe izifundo ze-135 zibuyekezwe. Ukutholakala kwahlinzeka ngokufakazela okuphelele ukuthi kokubili ukuvezwa kwelabhoratri kanye nokwehliswa kwansuku zonke, okuqukethwe kwansuku zonke kulokhu okuqukethwe kuhambisana ngqo nemiphumela eminingi, kufaka phakathi amazinga aphezulu okunganeliseki komzimba, ukuzethemba okukhulu, ukwesekwa okukhulu kwezinkolelo zobulili kanye nezinkolelo zobulili ezingathandeki, futhi ukubekezelela okukhulu kobudlova ngokocansi kubesifazane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuvezwa kokuhlolwa kwalokhu okuqukethwe kuholela kokubili abesifazane nabesilisa ukuba babe nombono owehlisiwe wokufaneleka kwamakhosikazi, ukuziphatha nokubambisana kwabantu.
- Kuthiwani ngokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili nokusetshenziswa kocansi? Okunye ukuhlaziywa kwemeta: Ukuhlaziywa Kwemifanekiso Yezingcolile zobulili kanye Nemisebenzi Yezenzo Zokuhlukunyezwa Ngokobulili Ezingxoxweni Ezivamile Zabantu (2015). Umbhalo:
Ucwaningo lwe-22 oluvela emazweni ahlukene we-7 luhlaziywe. Ukusetshenziswa kwakuhlotshaniswa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili e-United States nakwamanye amazwe, phakathi kwamadoda nabesilisa, nasemifundweni engezansi kanye neyesikhathi eside. Izinhlangano zaziqinisile kunomlomo ngaphezu kokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili, nakuba zombili zazibalulekile. Iphethini elijwayelekile lemiphumela lisikisela ukuthi okuqukethwe okubudlova kungase kube yinto ekhudlwana.
- Kuthiwani ngokusetshenziswa kocansi kanye nentsha? Hlola lolu hlu lwaphezulu Ucwaningo lwezingane ze-200, noma lokhu kubuyekezwa kwe-2012 yocwaningo - Umthelela Wezithombe Zobulili Ezingcolile Ze-Intanethi Kubantwana Abasha: Ukubukezwa kocwaningo (2012). Kusuka esiphelweni:
Ukwandiswa kwe-intanethi yizingane ezisencane kudala amathuba angakaze abe khona okufundiswa ngokocansi, ukufunda nokukhula. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingozi yokulimala ebonakalayo kulezi zincwadi iye yaholela abacwaningi ukuba baphenye ukuvezwa kwentsha ezithombeni ezingcolile ezenzweni zokuzama ukuhlukanisa lobu buhlobo. Ngokubambisana, lezi zifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi intsha edla izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ingahlakulela izinkolelo nezinkolelo ezingacabangi ngokocansi. Phakathi kokufundwayo, amazinga aphezulu wemicabango yokuziphatha ngokocansi, ukukhathazeka ngokocansi, nokuhlolwa kwangaphambili kobulili kuhlotshaniswa nokusetshenziswa kaningi kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile .... Noma kunjalo, ukutholakala okuqhubekayo kuye kwavela ukuxhumana kokusetshenziswa kwentsha yezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezisemuva ezibonisa ubudlova ngezinga eliphakeme lokuziphatha kocansi. Lezi zincwadi zibonisa ukuthi kukhona ukuhlangana phakathi kokusetshenziswa kwentsha engcolile nokuzicabangela. Amantombazane abika azizwe engaphansi kwabesifazane abakubukayo ezintweni ezingcolile zobulili, kuyilapho abafana besaba ukuthi ngeke babe njengabantu abafana nalabo abakhona kulezi zindaba. Intsha iyabika ukuthi ukusebenzisa kwabo izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kunciphile njengoba ukuzethemba kwabo nentuthuko yezenhlalakahle kwanda. Ukwengeza, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi intsha esebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ikakhulukazi etholakala kuyi-intanethi, inezilinganiso eziphansi zokuhlanganiswa komphakathi, ukwanda kwezinkinga zokuziphatha, amazinga aphezulu okuziphatha okuhlukumezayo, izimo eziphakeme zezibonakaliso zokucindezeleka, futhi ukunciphisa ukuhlanganiswa ngokomzwelo nabanakekeli.
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