Uzogcwalisa kanjani umgodi wakho weziboshwa? "
Eminyakeni yamuva nje, ososayensi bebelokhu befunda isilwane esincelisayo esithakazelisayo ngokujule ngokwengeziwe: i-prairie vole. Kunezinhlobo eziningi ze-vole ezihlobene kakhulu, kepha ezinye izinhlobo zihlangana impilo yonke ngenkathi ezinye zingazenzi izibopho zombili nhlobo (njengezilwane eziningi ezincelisayo).
Indawo yasemathafeni ingeyaleso sigaba samaphesenti ama-3 sezinhlobo ezincelisayo "zomuntu oyedwa", ezibandakanya abantu. Bayabhangqa, imvamisa kube yimpilo yabo emfushane, kwesinye isikhathi kube nokuhlangana okuhlangene eceleni (“ukukopela”). Futhi, njengabantu.
Ubufakazi kuze kube manje bubonisa ukuthi indlela yobuchopho eyenza ukuba izinkomo zithande ukubopha izibopho (okungukuthi, ukuguqulwa komshini wokunakekela izingane ezinakekela izingane) mhlawumbe kunezinto eziningi ezifanayo nezinqubo zobuchopho ezibangela us ukubhangqa isibopho. Lokhu kwenza laba bahlaziyeke banesithakazelo esikhethekile kubantu:
Ngokunaka ukugqagqana okukhulu phakathi kwezinqubo ezibandakanyeka ekwakheni izibopho zomphakathi kanye nokulutha, i-prairie vole ibonakala iyimodeli ewusizo yokuhlola… izindlela zebhayoloji. [Kusuka ucwaningo lwamuva]
Nazi izinto ezintathu ezithakazelisayo zokuthola izinkomo, ezinomthelela ekuphatheni kwethu yethu thanda ukuphila:
1. Thola i-prairie vole ephezulu kuma-amphetamine, akhiphe i-dopamine eningi ebuchosheni bakhe, yena ayikwazi ukubhangqa isibopho. Ingxenye yobuchopho bakhe emnxusa ukuba abophe isebenza ku-neurotransmitter, "i-gotta get it". Kepha, ngokudidayo, kakhulu I-dopamine futhi iqala ukwenza kusebenze ama-dopamine receptors abhekele imizwa yokuphambana evame ukumenza angathandi abesifazane "abanye". Lapho egcwala kakhulu akahlangani no iyiphi abesifazane, yize kungenzeka ukuthi usaluthanda ucansi ngenxa yohlelo lwakhe oluyisisekelo "lokuthola" Umyalezo wokususa? Ukuphazamiseka komjikelezi womvuzo kungaphazamisa uthando.
2. Okulandelayo, nikeza ama-amphetamine kuzo zombili izintokazi ezingaziphethe kahle nezithandanayo. Ama-voiri ePrairie (ukubopha ngababili) azosebenzisa okuningi. Ngamafuphi, ukujikeleza okufanayo komvuzo ebuchosheni babo obenza bafune ukuwela ikhanda phezu kwezithende nakho kuyabashiya ikakhulukazi abasengozini yokulutha. Ngokuphambene, iningi lamagundane alibuthandi utshwala. Kumele zikhuliswe ngokukhethekile ukuze zikusebenzise. Kepha womabili amadili voles nabantu bazophuza, okuphakamisa ukuthi ukufana kumjikelezo wabo womvuzo kwenza kube lula ukuqhuma. Eqinisweni, ososayensi banjalo manje besebenzisa imifula yezinyosi ukuze kutholakale imithi yokwelapha yokwelashwa ngokweqile nokudakwa ngokuqaphela ukufana kwabo nabantu.
3. Manje, nikela ngama-amphetamine kuwo womabili ama-voes asezindaweni ezisemathafeni abumbene nabalingani nalabo abangakashadi. Ababoshiwe ungawatholi ama-amphetamine, kepha labo abangenabo abashade basebenzisa lesi sidakamizwa ngentshiseko. Ukugqugquzela okukhulu "kuduna" inqubo yobuchopho eguquke ukukhuthaza ukubophela ngababili. Ngezansi: Izidakamizwa zingaduna indlela yokubopha, futhi zibhalise njengohlobo lokungena esikhundleni sothando.
Kucishe kube sengathi isekethe lomvuzo le-bond bonder "linomgodi omncane" okhalela ukugcwaliswa nge-bond bond (noma ngabe lowo muntu akakaze aboshwe). Lapho engekho umlingani, i-bond bonder izobheka okuthile futhi ukugcwalisa lowo “mgodi.” Ngokusobala, thina bantu sivame ukuzama ukugcwalisa "umgodi" ngabangane abaningi, izindaba zangasese, izithombe ezingcolile, izidakamizwa, utshwala, ukuzinikela kumkhulu othile noma imbangela ethile, noma yini — konke lokho okunikeza, noma okungenani kuthembise, ukwaneliseka okuthile ngamakhemikhali .
Iphuzu elibalulekile wukuthi indlela yobuchopho eyenza ukubophezelwa kokubambisana kumakhondi, akuyona ingqondo. Iqhuba ukuziphatha ngokusho kwe-dopamine ekhishwe. Ukwandisa kakhulu ukuvuselela, nakakhulu Inani sibona emsebenzini othile. Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi into ejabulisa ukulindelwa okungaka kube ukukhetha okungalungile? Njengoba isazi semvelaphi yabantu uHelen Fisher sisho, “Uthando aluyona imizwa; kungukushayela. ”
Kukho konke ukuziphendukela kwemvelo okukhulu, lolu thando lokulangazelela i-dopamine oluhleliwe luhlala kahle kahle. Kwakungekho ososayensi ababi bezungeza ama-amphetamine. Ama-voles bekungadingeki aphikisane ne-synthetically jacked-up dopamine ephazamise indlela yabo ebucayi yokubopha. Abalingani abangaba khona bawavula (bavuka i-dopamine yabo). Bathandana kakhulu; ukujola njengobuhlanya; bese ehlala phansi ukukhulisa imidlwane ndawonye.
Qaphela: Ukubambisana kokubili akuyona uhlelo lokuziphatha; Kuyinto a isu lokubambisana, futhi ivela ekusebenziseni ubuchopho obungaqondakali. Isibonelo sokuphawula sibonisa ukuthi ukubopha akuyona into yamasiko. Ababambisene ababili babonakala sengathi baguqule leli cwangciso lokubambisana ngoba inzalo yabo yenza kangcono nabanakekeli ababili. Ngokwesibonelo, abantu bathatha isikhathi eside ukuvuthwa, ngakho-ke abazali ababophezela isikhathi eside ukuze bahlanganise nathi umshuwalense omuhle.
Ukubambisana ngokubambisana kuvame ukuvuza
Yini egcina isibopho sababili? Hhayi ucansi oluvuthayo (yize ekuqaleni lungasiza ukubhangqa okubili ngoba ubuchopho buyazintambo ukukhumbula umuzwa onjalo "obalulekile"). Ngokusho kwesazi sezinto eziphilayo UDavid Barash, ukuziphatha okuvamile kwezithandani “ukuziphatha ngokobulili akuvamile noma kuvuthe ngokukhethekile.” Ukuxhumana okuningi phakathi kwabantu abashadayo kuyindlela yokuphumula ndawonye, ukuzilolonga bobabili, kanye "nokuhlanganyela." Lokho kusho, njalo ukuziphatha kwe-flirty nokukopisha Ngokuqinisekile kungaba ukuziphatha okubambisana.
Iqiniso lokuthi izibopho zombili zihlala ziboshwe ngaphandle kweziqhumane zomlilo zobulili njalo zibonisa ukuthi isibopho ngokwayo kuvame ukuvuza. Iqiniso lokuthi uMnu noNkk Vole bavusa amakhala kuma-amphetamine ligcizelela ukwaneliseka kwabo. Ukugoqa ekhoneni lekheji labo uzizwa ungcono kunokuphakama. Ubuchopho be-Pair-bonder busethelwe ukujabulela ukubopha ngenxa yayo-ngaphandle kokuthi okuthile kuphazamise. Ukuhlangana kugcwalisa "umgodi" omncane, futhi abalingani abaningi badlulisa izimpilo zabo ngokuthandana nomuntu oyedwa ngokocansi.
Lokho kusho ukuthi, uma kunethuba elithile lofuzo oluhehayo emnyango, ama-voes prairie voles aziwa njenge-philander-bese exosha lo ongena ngesihluku. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuziphendukela kwemvelo akunjalo like ukuzithokozisa okuningi. Ibekezelela ngokudabukisayo ngezinhlobo ezimbalwa.
Iphuzu liwukuthi izakhi zofuzo zethu zombili zifake umvuzo wethu wesifunda ukubiza izibopho zombili futhi ukuhlangana okungalingani kwamabili. Ukunakekela amaphakethe ethu amancane ezakhi zofuzo ngababili, kuyilapho kuxubeka kokunye ukuhlukahluka kofuzo ohlangothini, kunikeza okuhle kakhulu kwemihlaba yomibili… ngokombono wezakhi zofuzo zethu.
Ngokuqondile kungani sibhangqa ama-bonders ukukopela? Ngoba i-dopamine iyanda phakathi kwezindlebe zethu. Isikhathi. Ngaphandle kwalokho, besingeke. Ama-tryst ayingozi ngoba ama-pair bonders azibandakanya ekugadeni kwabalingani, futhi ajezisa ukungathembeki. Ukutshalwa kwemali kozakwethu ngamunye kubonakala kuncike ekucabangeni kokuthi zonke izinsiza ziya enzalweni yabo ehlanganisiwe. "Deal yisivumelwano."
Ababambisene bezintombi ezihlambalaza, ke-ke, thatha isikhwama ngenxa yesizathu esifanayo uHugh Grant no-Elizabeth Hurley ngamunye abakwenzayo. Ingozi kanye nokwaziswa kwandisa i-dopamine, okwenza ithuba libonakale lifanele imiphumela emihle-okungenani okwamanje. Ukuziphatha kungase kumise abanye abantu ukuba bangenzi, kepha isifiso sokukhohlisa siphumela ku-dopamine spurts ebuchosheni. Inveli isebenza njenge-aphrodisiac ngenxa yezimpande ezifanayo.
Yini abantu abangayifunda endleleni umshini wokubopha umzimba osebenza ngayo?
1. Ukubambisana kungaba umthombo wokwaneliseka okunamandla. Ucwaningo olwengeziwe ngabantu (nezinye izilwane) luqinisekisa ukuthi ukuthintana okuthandekayo nokusondelana, ubudlelwano obethembekile buyanciphisa ukucindezeleka, banciphise ukudangala, ukuphulukiswa kwejubane, futhi kusize ukunqanda ukulutha.
2. Izinhlobo zokubopha ngazimbili zithembela kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, ekuziphatheni okungahambi kahle, ekuthintaneni nasekuthintweni kothando ukuze zihlale ziboshiwe ngemuva kokuphambana kokuqala kokukhwelana. Hhayi entweni entsha.
3. Ukuncintisana okuningi kakhulu (okufana nobusha) kungaduna imishini entekenteke lapho izinyunyana zethu zihlala khona. Lapho siminyene ne-dopamine eyengeziwe yokuhlangana okungenzeka kube khona, izidakamizwa zokuzithokozisa, ukuhlangana kwe-cam-2-cam nokunye, kungenza isibopho sethu esiyisisekelo esikhuthaza kancane sibukeke njenge-humdrum.
4. Abalingani bomshado abazimiseleyo abacela ukwenzelwa ngokwemvelo bavame ukwenza i-jack-up dopamine, njengoba uTiger Woods athola. Kepha yenza kanjalo virtual "Abalingani" bekhala ngokubheka. Yingakho amathuba anamuhla e-Internet anamandla okusenza ukungahloniphi izibopho zethu zombili. (Amathoyizi wezocansi angakwazi babe nomphumela ofanayo, kunjalo.)
Khumbula, ingxenye yokuqala yobuchopho ihlola amathuba okulala ngokobulili hhayi kwi-logic noma inqobo, kodwa kuphela ngobuningi be-dopamine ekhishwe okwamanje.
Qaphela intsha-njengoba-aphrodisiac
Konke lokhu kusho ukuthi izeluleko eziningi zocansi lwanamuhla ngeke zisebenze kahle kubathandi abafuna ukuhlala bebhangqiwe. Kususelwa kucebo le-dopamine-cranking "novelty-as-aphrodisiac" isu: ukuzama ithoyizi elisha locansi, ukubuka izithombe ezingcolile, ukushintshanisa abalingani, ukwenza iphupho le-kinky, ukuzibandakanya ocansini olunamandla noma olubuhlungu, njalonjalo. Inoveli nokwesaba kuyavusa impela. Noma kunjalo i-novelty-as-aphrodisiac inezingqinamba.
Okokuqala, uma uke wazama okuthile, akusiyona inoveli. Ukuze uthole injabulo efanayo ngokuzayo, kungadingeka ukuthi uphinde uvuselele ukukhuthazwa. Lokho wukuthi, ubusha-njenge-aphrodisiac abuzinzile. Ngemuva kokuthi ushaye ubuchopho bakho nge-dopamine eyeqile eyenziwe yizinketho ezisobala, wenzani?
Okwesibili, ukugqugquzela okuningi kungaba empeleni sindisa impendulo yenjabulo yobuchopho. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuzizwa unelisekile noma unesibopho esengeziwe, abathandi bangase bazizwe benganelisekile kunanini ngaphambili phakathi kokucindezela okukhulu, okubangelwa yinkohlakalo. Kuze kube yilapho ubuyela ubuchopho bakho ukuzwela okuvamile, ungase ubheke ngisho nomfutho komunye nomunye.
Ukusikisela: Uma ufisa ukusekela isibopho sakho somshado njengomthombo wokwaneliseka, qala kuqala uthathe isifundo emithonjeni yemifula: Yenza okusemandleni akho ukugwema ukugqithisa okukhulu okuphazamisa ukubopha. Lesi seluleko singase sigxile ikakhulukazi namhlanje ngoba ukulingana kwabantu abanoveli bavame ukwedlulele kunokuba bekhona njengoba ubuchopho bethu buqala. (Ingane esikoleni esiphakeme ibona ukushisa okunye ehholo phakathi kwamakilasi kunabokhokho bakhe abakubona ngesikhathi esiphila ngaso sonke isikhathi, kungakhulumi ukushisa okwenzekayo.)
Okwesibili, inkosi bese uyiqashisa izinhlamvu zokunamathiselwe lapho ezinye izilwane ezibopha izinhlangothi ezimbili zithembela ngokuzethemba. Kubonakala sengathi thina bantu sasivame ukuwazisa:
Labo bantu bayajabula abajabulela ubumnandi bothando
Ukujabulela ukwangana inkanuko kuka-Aphrodite
Njengomkhumbi ogibela kalula olwandle oluzolile,
Gwema ukucindezeleka okuholela ekuhlazweni.
Ngezocansi, njenge-horsefly, ingahlushwa nge-sting yayo,
Futhi u-Eros unemicibisholo emibili entambo yakhe. . . .
Ukuqala nje kokuqala kuletha injabulo yonke,
Kodwa izilonda zesibili ziyafa, futhi ziveza ukuphelelwa ithemba.
-Euripides (ca. 480-406 BCE), Iphegenia e-Aulis
Beka amazwana kwenye isithangami
Ngaphambi kokuba ngithole ngisho ne-porn ye-Intanethi ngangifuna ukulala nabesifazane abahlukile. Hhayi le 'notches one the belt' crap thina madoda esolwa ngayo kepha ngenxa yenhlobonhlobo. Abesifazane ngamunye banobuntu obuhlukile, isimo somzimba esihlukile, futhi bahlukile nje kunalobo obabunabo ngaphambili. Futhi into ingezikhathi ezimbalwa zokusondelana ngivele ngifune umuntu ohlukile. Hhayi ukuthi lo wesifazane ubengakamangalisi kepha ngizozibuza nje ukuthi olandelayo kwakunjani.
Futhi into exakile ebudlelwaneni bami uthando lwami lwangempela nokunakekelwa kowesifazane kwakhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngangibenzela izinto eziningi futhi ngibathande kakhulu bese ngifaka okuningi. Ngingathatha ngisho inhlamvu. Kepha bengingenandaba kangako nokusondelana nabo ngokocansi.
Kwakukhona eyodwa noma ezimbili ezazigcina intshisekelo yami kepha lokho kungenxa yokuthi ngangizibona ngokuhamba kwezinyanga ezimbalwa ngesikhathi bese ziba kude isikhashana. Futhi ukuba kwabo kude kwasivusa isifiso.
Ayikwazi ukusho ukuthi ukuthinta i-porn kunabo bonke abantu. Kodwa ngizosho ukuthi kungenze ngenza kancane kancane ngibheke ubuhlobo. Nginabangane abaningana besifazane engabelana nabo ngokomzwelo nabangane, kodwa mayelana nokuya ocansini kuvele kulula kakhulu ukuphuma ku-DVD, ukukhipha isayithi noma ngisho nokugijimela izinkumbulo zami zabathandi bokuqala kanye ukushaya indlwabu.
Futhi iqiniso lokuthi ngithole i-porn ngesikhathi sesomiso socansi. Abangane besifazane abaningana kodwa akekho abesifazane abanentshisekelo yokuba ngumthandi wami. Isomiso saqhubeka iminyaka. Ngakho-ke nginqume ukujabula nabangani futhi ngithole injabulo ngokuzijabulisa.
Angibuki ngisho nokubheka umkhiqizo nsuku zonke. Kodwa ngehora noma ngaphezulu njalo ngoLwesihlanu noMgqibelo ebusuku lapho ngingadingeki ukusebenza ngosuku olulandelayo, ngithatha isikhathi sami futhi ngilethe isayithi futhi ngivumele umbhangqwana ukuba uhambe. Kulula kakhulu ngaleyo ndlela.
Ngokuthakazelisayo, njengoba ubhala le ngxenye, a isifundo siphume okwakubonisa amadoda abhekana nabalingani abambalwa abajabule kakhulu ngobuhlobo bawo. Ingabe intengo yazo yonke intsha yethu iseduze, ukuxhumana okuthembekile nokuthinta okuthandekayo kamuva ekuphileni? Noma kunjalo, lesi sihloko angase achaze ukuthi kungani elahlekelwa isithakazelo, ngaphandle kwababambisene nabo obude.
Izifundo ekuqhekekeni phakathi kobulili nezidakamizwa ebuchosheni
Ucwaningo luka-2015: “Izinto ezibikezela ukusetshenziswa kocansi lwe-inthanethi kanye nobunzima ekwenzeni ubuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabasebenzisi besilisa nabesifazane nge-inthanethi ye-inthanethi" - Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kanye nocansi lwe-inthanethi kwabikezela kakhulu ubunzima ekusondeleni, ikakhulukazi emadodeni.
Ucwaningo lwe-2016: Izintaba zokudumisa zibonisa ukududuza kwabantu [kodwa izindiza ezingabambisene ngezibili azifani]
Iphepha le-2016: Uthando olujulile, oluthandekayo, uthando lwamaRoma: Umlutha wemvelo? Indlela Izinsimu Eziphenya Ngayo Ukuhlukunyezwa Kwemvelo Nokusetshenziswa Kokuhlukunyezwa Ngokwemvelo Kungabika Omunye Nomunye Abalobi basikisela izindlela zokuthinta lesi sigaba ukusiza ukuphulukisa ukulutha.
;
