Ingabe Izithombe Ezibucayi Zonakalisa Ubulili Bethu Ngokuphila Phakade? (I-Daily Dose)

Singase ngezinye izikhathi, siphume, kodwa ukuletha leso sondo sesithathu sishintshe indlela esenza ngayo ucansi. Uma sifuna ukuba nakho nhlobo.

Ukuthola izithombe ezingcolile zisetshenziselwa ukwenza umzamo. Kwakuhilela ukuzethemba, ukunyakaza, nokuhlola indawo (zama ngaphansi kombhede kababa). Umklomelo-huzzah! Ukubeka okufihliwe Ama-Playboys!-Wayesondelene kakhulu namazinga anamuhla.

Manje noma ubani, noma yikuphi, ukuchofoza okumbalwa ngaphandle kokufana noJohn Mayer, okwesimo sakhe inkulumo edumile ye-Playboy, wazishaya isifuba wavuma, “Mhlawumbe kube nezinsuku lapho ngabona khona izitho zangasese ezingama-300 ngaphambi kokuba ngivuke embhedeni.” Kepha lokho akuvezile kwakushukumisa kakhulu. “Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-Internet zikushintshe ngokuphelele ukulindela esizukulwaneni sami,” kusho uMnu Body-Is-a-Wonderland Man. “Lokho akusithinti kanjani isayikholoji yokuba nobudlelwano nothile? Kufanele. ”  

Ini enza ukuze senze izinhliziyo zethu, ama-libidos ethu, nobuhlobo bethu uma singena .Ama-0001 amasekhondi singathola noma yikuphi ukugqugquzela ngokocansi okungadingeki izingqondo zethu ezingcolile? 

Njengoba kuvela, okuningi. Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zihlambalaza ngokuphila kwethu kobulili, ubudlelwano, ngisho nendlela esibukeka ngayo. Ake sibale izindlela:

I-1. I-Porn iholela ekucansini kocansi.

"Akukho okunye okukwenzayo kimi, hhayi ngisho nempussy yangempela" kusho uJoseph Gordon-Levitt i-porn-eyengeziwe umlingisi ku Don Jon. Kunabantu abaningi abanjengoye ngaphandle kwakhe ocansini-noma okungenani eduze-Ngabalingani abangaqinisekisiwe. 

"Ukulala nobulili nabesilisa abasebenzisa i-porn abathandayo kubonakala sengathi nginomuntu oshaya indlwabu. Kuzizwa kungabi nhlobo ukusondelana, "kusho u-Alaska * oneminyaka engu-19. "Umlingani wami wayezobuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nokushaya indlwabu ngenkathi ngilala embhedeni naye. Indima yami kwakufanele ukuba khona. Ngezinye izikhathi wayebukele i-pornon isikhashana bese efuna ukulala nami, kodwa isikhathi esiningi angathanda ukuziqeda, "kusho u-Elizabeth, u-19. UBrian Moylan, umhleli-inhloko ye-Nerve kanye noyedwa I-VICE umlobi wekholomu, ngokuvamile uthanda ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nesoka lakhe, kodwa uzizwe unqanyuliwe, futhi. "Kunezikhathi lapho sibheka khona futhi sibuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile futhi nginomuzwa wokuthi ngiyidokodo yocansi engeziwe eyengeziwe engqondweni yakhe (futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngokufanayo)."

Uchwepheshe wokuziphatha Andrea Kuszewski ichaza ukuthi “uma umuntu ethembela kakhulu ohlotsheni oluthile lwesikhuthazi ukuze ajabule, kungenza kube nzima ukuvuka lapho singekho leso sikhuthazo.” Uthi, "Le yinkinga enkulu ngokubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile eziningi ngokweqile - umuntu uqala ukuchuma ebutsheni nasekuphambeni kokujwayelekile ukuze abathokozise, ​​futhi konke okunye ukukhuthazeka, kufaka phakathi ukusondelana, kuqala ukubonakala kufiphele uma kuqhathaniswa."

Kubantu ababazi-noma ukuqonda-lokho abalahlekile, ukungabi nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo ukulahlekelwa kwangempela. "Ngicabanga ukuthi silahlekelwa ukusondelana kanye nethuba lokuba nokuxhumana kwangempela komuntu siqu. I-Sex Sex ifundisa abantu abasha ukuba balale ocansini ngaphandle kwemizwa, "kusho i-Alaska.

I-2. Ukubusa kwama-hook-ups kukhulu.

Ama-hook-ups akuyona into entsha. Futhi ngokuvamile bangajabula. Ngaphandle kwalokho manje kubonakala sengathi bayindlela enkulu. "Amadoda ngeke asebenze. Bafuna ubulili be-hook-up, futhi bahamba kusuka entombazaneni ukuya enkombazaneni, "kuphawula UDkt. Gail Dines, Umbhali we Pornland: Yeka ukuthi i-Porn ihlukumeze kanjani ubulili bethu, futhi ilungu eliyisisekelo Misa ukuziphatha okubi. I-Dines ithi abesifazane abasha bavame ukuhlupheka ngalokho abakuchaza ngokuthi "i-hangover ngokomzwelo" ngemuva kokubambelela ngemuva kokuzibophezela futhi bazibeke icala, becabanga ukuthi benza okuthile ukuheha abantu abangalungile.

"Ukuthandana namantombazane amancane," kusho uWadison, u-26, othanda ukubandakanyeka namadoda amadala. "Iqhude elikhuni kalula liyinto enhle kakhulu, kodwa ngokufika kwe-Viagra, ngithanda kakhulu ukukhishwa, ukunakekelwa, nokunconywa (ngaleso sikhathi ngifakwe emahoreni amiselwe ngaphambili) kunokuba ngithunyelwe imiyalezo" 'ngemuva kokuba engazange azwe omunye umuntu ngesonto. "

I-3. Ngokuvamile i-Porn ibeka uhlelo lwezocansi.

"Ngesikhathi ngingu-21, angisoze ngicabange othile engicela kimi, 'Hey, ngingangena ebusweni bakho?'," Kusho u-Anastasia, i-32. "Lokho bekungeke kube ngumbuzo. Kodwa manje. "

Uma uzama izinto ezintsha, i-porn ingaba ngumthombo okhuthazayo, kepha abesifazane abasebasha bangakwazi ukuxoshwa ngamadoda ngokushesha abacela ama-threesome noma imisebenzi yansuku zonke. "Lawa mantombazane abulawa yizicathulo ezingcolile," kusho uDines etshela iDAME. "Abafana bafuna ucansi olubi. Bafuna ubulili obubi. Bathanda ukushaya, bayathanda ukudonsa izinwele, babiza amagama. Lokho amantombazane abangawaqondi ukuthi lesi siko socansi siyadlala ngqo emzimbeni wabo. "

Njengoba i-porn iba yinto ebonakalayo efana nomculo wangemuva emaholidini nasezindlini zokulala, ababukeli bangathola ukuhlanzeka. Ubulili obuvamile obuvamile-okuyinto engenzeka ukuthi ithumele izingane eminyakeni engamashumi embalwa eyedlule kwi-paroxysms yobulili-iba yinto encane, futhi i-ante yezocansi kufanele ihlulwe. Lokhu kuholela ezinhlobonhlobo ezinzima zobulili ezingcolile, ngokubonisa okwedlulele kobudlova nezenzo ezimbi.

"Kungcono ukuthi ungayifinyelela kangakanani," kusho uDines. "Bafuna ukubona ukuthi ungayilahla kanjani intombazane futhi uqhube umzimba wakhe kuze kube yilapho usuqeda."

Ngokudabukisayo, ukuphakama kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kungase kubonise ukuthi ufuna ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo. "Uma ucabanga ngalokho okwenza ucansi lujabulise, ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo kumuntu olala naye. Uma uthatha lokho, njengoba wenza ku-porn, kufanele ugcwalise ngomzwelo othile. Ngakho umzwelo owugcwalisa ngawo ulaka, intukuthelo, inzondo, "kusho uDines. "Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, ngokudabukisayo, ekugcineni ziyakuthandeka futhi ziyinkimbinkimbi ngakho kufanele uqhubeke nokuletha okuthile okusha nokuthakazelisayo."

I-4. Ukucubungula okwedlule izingxenye zomzimba esacabanga ukuthi kuhle kahle eminyakeni eyishumi eyedlule.

Abesifazane baye bazizwa bengalondekile ngemizimba yabo. Kodwa abesifazane abasebasha + porn ukubukela = ukwamukela umzimba dysmorphia (inani: wonke umuntu). "Ubulili bami abuzange bubukeke njengabesifazane be-porno. Isisu sami sasingenasiphelo njengabo, futhi amabele ami awazange abe mkhulu. Ngesikhathi ngisemncane, kwangenza ngazizwa ngingalondekile emzimbeni wami, njengokungathi kukhona okungahambi kahle nami, "kusho i-Alaska.

U-Anastacia manje ukhululekile ngomzimba wakhe kanye nemikhuba yakhe yokubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, kodwa ekuqaleni wayesongelwa imikhuba yakhe yesoka lapho esemncane. "Ngacabanga ukuthi 'Laba bantu ababukeka njengami. Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi ungena kuma-blondes anezimbongolo ezimbili? Ngingu-brunette ngakho ngangingalondekile ngakho. " 

Manje kukhona amafutha okugcoba shiya ama-vagin ethu nama-buttholes noma-yini isihogo? -pink 'em up. Izinwele zokushicilela azikho kubantu besifazane ngaphansi kwe-30. (Nakuba manje, kubonakala sengathi ama-pubes enza ukubuya.) Futhi kube khona ubukhali induku ku-labiaplasty, ukuhlinzwa okhethwayo ukuze kunqunywe amabhucansi ocansi aphephile ngokuphelele. Yebo, ufunda lelo lungelo.

Ngoba, ezinwabuzelayo, izingxenye ezibhekene ne-harbia-labia-ukwahlulela, ama-boobs, izinwele ze-pubic-yizona izingxenye kakhulu lokho kuchaza ubulili bethu besifazane (bona futhi: uNawomi Wolf The Myth Myth). Lokhu kudala isimo esicacile lapho into ewuphawu olungaqondakali lokuvukela owesifazane-luthi, i-labia emnyama, engabhalwa phansi-ingase ishintshwe ukuze ihlolwe ibe yincinjana, ilanga elilodwa. Lokhu kungase kube kanjani ukugxilisa izibonakaliso zezocansi esizithumela komunye nomunye?

I-5. Amadoda angazi kahle kahle i-shtup owesifazane.

"Izikhundla amadoda azama ukukwenza ngawe ngoba azibona ezithombeni ezingcolile. Ugh. Zilimaza, "kusho i-Alaska. "Futhi ngokusobala azizange zenziwe nge-femalegasgasm engqondweni."

Kodwa mhlawumbe akuyona neze iphutha labafana. I-Porn ibe yindlela yethu eyinhloko yokufundisa ngezocansi.

"Umfana oneminyaka engu-12 oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala akafaki 'i-porn' ku-Google ngoba ufuna ukubona 'angifake futhi angifake,'" kusho uDines. "Ucabanga ukuthi angase abone amabele noma abesifazane abashadile, khona-ke uzongena kuleli zwe lobudlova. Khumbula ukuthi abazange babe nobulili ngaphambi. Uma u-12, yiyona nto kuphela okufanele ulinganise ngayo. "

Ngoba i-porn ayinandaba kakhulu nokuveza ama-nuances wesifiso sowesifazane nokuthi ungabathokozisa kanjani ngempela abesifazane futhi ubalethele phezulu. Uma ababukeli bebheke kuwo ukuze bafunde amasu, bafike endaweni engafanele. U-Naomi Wolf wabhala: "Abesifazane baklanyelwe ukuthola injabulo, futhi okuhlangenwe nakho okubangela ukuba kube nenjabulo kusuka ebuchosheni obuhle nokucindezela ngokomzimba kuzo zonke izinhlobo, eziningi ezingxenyeni zomzimba wabo." I-Vagina. "Isibonelo sokuziphatha okubi kobulili-ngisho nezindlela zethu ezivamile zokuziphatha ngokobulili, okusheshayo, okugxile emgomweni, okulinganiselwe, futhi okugxile ekukhuthazeni mhlawumbe indawo eyodwa noma ezimbili zomzimba wesifazane-ngeke nje uyenzele abesifazane abaningi , okungenani hhayi ngendlela ephawulekayo, ngoba kuhilela ingxenye engokoqobo yekhono lezinhlelo zokuphendula ngokocansi zesifazane. "

URobert Kandell, osebenza namadoda ekufundiseni ubulili Okukodwa, wachaza, "Abafana banomdlandla futhi bafuna uxhumano nobudlelwano kodwa bathola ulwazi olubi. I-shot cum iyisikhathi esiphezulu sezocansi kanye nobulili akufani neze. Umvuthwandaba we-symphony ama-cymbals ashaya ekupheleni, kodwa akusiyo imidwebo eyinhloko. Sifundisa amantombazane ukujabulela ukuhamba konke. "

I-6. Amadoda abhekana nezinkathazo zobulili.

"Ukuwa kwezingane ezingcolile kubonisa ukuziphatha kwami ​​ngendlela ehlukahlukene," kusho ochwepheshe bezocansi UDon Shewey. "Amantombazane azama ukuphinda aphishekele ukuhlukumezeka okukhulu kwama-porn futhi athole ukuthi akuyona into ejabulisayo, futhi bacabanga ukuthi kuyinkinga yabo; abantu abacabanga ukuthi kuwumsebenzi wabo ukwenza njengenkanyezi ye-porn (thola kanzima, fuck like jackhammer, futhi furt nakanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi), noma ucabange ukuthi abalingani babo balindele ukuba benze kanjalo, ngakho-ke bahlakulele ubumnene ukukhathazeka okulimazayo kwenza kube nzima ukusebenzisana ngokocansi; abesilisa abajwayele ukushaya indlwabu bebuka izithombe ezingcolile ukuthi bakuthola kunzima ukungakwazi ukuphefumula ebusweni bomunye umuntu kanye nabesilisa abangenalo ulwazi oluningi lokuphila ngokobulili abesaba ngisho nokuphola ngoba bacabanga ukuthi noma yimuphi umlingani balindele ukuba balungele ukuhlanganyela kuzo zonke izenzo zocansi ezicatshangelwayo. "

Akekho ophikisanayo lapha ukuthi i-porn kufanele ihambe. Iningi labachwepheshe engangikhuluma nabo lathi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zinendawo enobungane obuhle, obuhle. Kungasiza ekuhlangenwe nakho kocansi okungenalo izifo, ukubolekisa ubudlelwane nabantu abangasese, ukuvula izingqondo zabantu ukuba zihluke, ukuvumela imibhangqwana ukuba ikhulume ngokukhululekile ngalokho okubangela ukuba bashise, noma nje ukuhlinzeka indlela elula eya e-orgasm. "Ukuphila kwami ​​kumatasa kakhulu manje, ngifuna nje ukuthola okuthile okwangenza ngijabule futhi ngifinyelele. Imaminithi embalwa futhi ngimnandi, "kusho uStevie oneminyaka engu-27.

Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zingashisa bhe, zonke izinhlobo zobumnandi, futhi iningi lethu liyazisebenzisa futhi sizithande. Futhi nokho… kwabanye bethu, sekuyisondo lesithathu ebuhlotsheni bethu, okwenza iningi lethu linqanyulwe, lingenasisekelo, futhi liyabathanda. Ngabe sizimisele ukuzibeka engcupheni yokuba nesizungu sokushaya indlwabu, sikhuthazwe yi-dopamine, ukuhlukahluka okungapheli, nokugqugquzela okwandayo, asikwazi ukuphatha izinjabulo ezicashile, eziphakeme kakhulu zocansi lomhlaba wangempela?

U-Moylan oye wachaza imizamo yakhe (okwesikhashana) ukuphuma ku-porn in Ungakuyeka Kanjani Izithombe Ezingcolile Futhi Ungabhubhisi Ngokugcwele Ukuphila Kwakho ufingqa i-conundrum: "I-Porn inhle uma wazi ukuthi inendawo yayo futhi iyisebenzise ngokulinganisela. Ngicabanga ukuthi kungabangela ukungafuni ukuhlaziya nokuziphatha okujwayelekile, kodwa akukho lutho olunikezela ngokushesha. "

Isihloko sokuqala: http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/02/26/has-porn-ruined-our-sex-lives-forever