I-Porn, Intshumayelo Nokunganeliseki (2011)

Ingabe I-Porn Ingenza Umlingani Wakho Akhangele Ukuncane?

Uma ushadile futhi usebenzisa i-porn, "Wena da man!" Okungenani ekulinganiseni kwakho kwezakhi zofuzo. Okokuqala, izifungo zakho zomshado zandisa amathuba okuba inzalo yakho ehlangene iyoba nabanakekeli ababili, ngaleyo ndlela kuthuthukiswe ubunzima bokusinda kwamaphakethe wegenesheni (izingane) owazi kahle ukuthi zingokwakho.

Okwesibili, ukhonza noma ubani esikrinini sakho sekhompyutheni enqabile imbewu yakho, ngaleyo ndlela uzama ukusakaza izakhi zakho zegciwane ngisho nangaphezulu. Okungenani lokho okuyingxenye yokuqala yengqondo yakho ikholelwa ngokuqinile. Uyabona, kuguquke lapho "kushisa" kusho "ithuba lokutshala kwangempela."

Ukuba "da man" kuhle, ngaphandle kokuthi izithombe ze-24 / 7 ze-Inthanethi zanamuhla zingashukumisa ubuchopho ngendlela engafani nanoma yini okhokho bakho abaye babhekana nayo ngesikhathi sokuziphendukela kwemvelo. NjengamaWest West, abaningi bethu bacabanga ukuthi into enhle kakhulu ... ngisho nangcono. Mhlawumbe hhayi. Lapho i-porn, ukusakaza okusheshayo kwaba isifo sengqondo esitholakalayo uNorman Doidge waphawula okuthile okuphazamisayo phakathi kwezithombe zakhe ezingcolile-esebenzisa iziguli:

Babika ubunzima obukhulayo bokushintshwa ngabalingani babo bobulili, abashadile noma izintombi, nakuba bebebheka njengento ekhangayo. Lapho ngabuza ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka yini ukuba nobuhlobo bokubukela izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, baphendula ukuthi ekuqaleni wabasiza ukuba bathole injabulo ngesikhathi sokulala kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo kunomphumela ohlukile. Manje, esikhundleni sokusebenzisa izinzwa zabo ukujabulela ukulala embhedeni, okwamanje, nabalingani babo, uthando lokuzijabulisa lubafuna ukuba bacabange ukuthi babeyingxenye yeskripthi se-porn. Ubuchopho Obushintshayo, iphe. I-104

Wathi umsebenzisi we-porn ohlakaniphile:

Ngabona uhlelo mayelana nezifebe zezinkanyezi ezingcolile. Bathe bangatshela abasebenzisi be-porn abangapheli ngoba akukho abakwenzile "okungagqugquzela" le ndoda ukuthi ivuke. Cabanga ngakho, ngisho namantombazane aqeqeshelwe ukufeza imicabango yobulili besilisa ahluleka ukufana nokugqugquzela izithombe zobulili ezingcolile, kufaka phakathi amanye amantombazane empeleni in izithombe zocansi. Abesifazane abajwayelekile abafuna nje ukuthanda kwethu abami ithuba.

Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi i-porn-porn namuhla ingakutholi ukuphendula kwakho ngokobulili kumngane wakho womshado? Ngokwenza ngcono izindlela ezintathu zobuchopho:

Uhlelo lwangokwemvelo lwezinto eziphilayo lusebenza ubuchopho bazo zonke izilwane ezincelisayo. Iphezu kwesifo sokwemvelo uma kuningi labashade becela ukulala. Cabanga ngenkathi yokuxuba. Futhi ibona i-vixen entsha (noma ishisa noma yikuphi) esikrinini sakho njengethuba eliyigugu lofuzo.
Ukugqugquzela okuningi kungaphazamisa ukusabela kwengqondo ebuchosheni ngokuthanda isikhathi esithile ukuze uthole iningi le-novel. Umlingani ojwayele ubonakala ecindezela kancane.
Ukucwaninga kusikisela ukuthi ukugqugquzela okuningi okwenziwa ngumbono wobulili / ukuqoqa ubuchopho kungavimbela indlela yokubopha izinyanga ezimbili.

Umphumela? Ukunganakwa.

Hlanganisa I-Coolidge Effect

Cabanga ngokwenzekayo lapho uphonsa igundane lowesilisa emgodini enesilinganiso sowesifazane esamukelayo. Okokuqala, kukhona ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi. Isigamu senqwaba yamakhophi kamuva ukuqhuma kweziqhumane. Noma efuna okungaphezulu, akanantshisekelo. Umqondo wakhe wobuchopho uhlebela, “Qengqeleka ugobe.” Kodwa-ke, uma kuvela owesifazane omusha, ukukhathala kwakhe kuzophela ngokuyisimangaliso isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze azame ngesibindi imisebenzi yakhe yokukhulelwa. Ungaphinda le nqubo nabesifazane abasha kuze kube yilapho owesilisa ecishe afe ngokukhathala.

Ukukhanya kwakhe okuvuselelekayo akubonakali kwe-libido engenakunqotshwa. Futhi akhulise kahle impilo yakhe-nakuba ingahle ibonakale (futhi izwe okwesikhashana kuye) ngaleyo ndlela. Ulandela owesifazane ngamunye omusha ngenxa ye-surges of dopamine ebuchosheni bakhe. Bamyala ukuba shiya owesifazane ongenamuntu ongathandeki.

Ososayensi bayalwazi lolu hlelo lwezinto eziphilayo njenge- “Coolidge Effect.” Kubonakala ezilwaneni zesifazane, futhi, okuye kwabonwa ukuthi kudlalisana kakhulu nabafana abasha. Izakhi zofuzo zethu azigcini nje ngokuthanda ukugibela izikebhe eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze zikwazi ukuya esikhathini esizayo, zithanda nokwehluka kofuzo phakathi kwenzalo yethu.

AmaGenesis awazange alale. Esikhundleni senjabulo "bashadile futhi baphila ngokujabulisayo njalo," izindaba zomlando zofuzo ziphela ngezinzalo nenzalo eningi-noma yiziphi izindlela izakhi zofuzo ezingazithola-uBurnham noPhelan, ababhali IsiGenesis esivelayo

I-Dopamine "Uyitholile!" i-neurochemical ngemuva kwazo zonke izisusa. Ngaphandle kwayo thina izilwane ezincelisayo besingazihluphi ngokuya enkantolo, silandele umvuthwandaba, noma size sidle. Lapho i-dopamine yehla kanjalo nesisusa. Ekuseni.

Futhi kuyisihluthulelo se-Coolidge Effect. Uma i-rat iphinda iqhubeke nesifazane ofanayo, i-dopamine encane ayitholayo imizamo yakhe-ize iqhubekele ukuhlehlisa, isusa kude. Kunikeziwe kungekho wesifazane omusha okhombisa.

Cabanga ngalesi grafu. Isikhathi sesihlanu inqama iqhuma nomfazi ofanayo, kumthatha imizuzu engu-17 ukuba ihambe. Kodwa uma eqhubeka eshintshela abesifazane ... angenza umsebenzi wakhe ngemizuzu engaphansi kwemibili, izikhathi ezinhlanu ngokulandelana.

I-Ram ishukumisela ukukhanya ukuze ibe yinto enhle ngakho-ke ayishiyi abesifazane abangenalutho

Ngokungafani nezinqama, abantu bayizigqila zombili. Sivumelanisiwe, ngokujwayelekile, ukukhulisa inzalo ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kusho ukuthi asipheleli ku-Coolidge Effect? Nope. Loluhlelo lwasendulo luhlala kithi, futhi. Omunye umuntu wathi,

Ngibuke idokhumentari ephathelene nabafana “onodoli bothando” abiza kakhulu. Omunye umfana wayenenqwaba yokuthi wayephelelwa igumbi endlini yakhe. Noma kunjalo lawa ngamadonki, wayesevele eqale ukubabona njengamantombazane ayekade echitha isikhathi esanele nawo. Mhlawumbe kungani abafana beqoqa i-porn engaka. Bengicabanga ukuthi ngihlanganisa imininingwane ethile emnandi yenjabulo. Kepha angikhumbuli ngake ngabuyela emuva empeleni. Ingxenye ephoqayo isithombe ESISHA, isithombe sanoveli… unodoli wothando wanoveli.

Ukuhlukile kocansi lwe-intanethi kungadonsa umsebenzisi ngokungapheli, ngoba unayo zonke izakhi ezigcina ukungena kwe-dopamine. Injabulo yokuzingela isithombe esiphelele ikhulula i-dopamine. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kukhona njalo into entsha, njalo into enokwenyama. I-Dopamine ikhishwa uma kukhona okuvusa kakhulu kunalokho okulindelwe, okwenza amangqamuzana omgogodla ashise njengomuntu oyisimanga.

Ngokuphambene, ubulili nomlingani wakho hhayi njalo kangcono kunalindelekile. Futhi ayihlinzeki ngezihlobo ezingapheli. Lokhu kungabangela izinkinga ngoba ingxenye yokuqala yobuchopho bakho ithatha inani le-dopamine elilingana nenani lomsebenzi-ngisho nalapho lingenalo.

Ngempela, i-dopamine yeziqhumane zomshuwalense zingenza umuthi ophakeme wezidakamizwa ophoqelela ukwedlula ubulili nomlingani ojwayele. Kwi Playboy ingxoxo ngonyaka odlule, umculi uJohn Mayer uvumile ukuthi wayezobuyela ezithombeni kunokuba abe nobulili. Wachaza,

Izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-intanethi zikushintshe ngokuphelele okulindelwe yisizukulwane sami. Ungahlala kanjani uhlanganisa i-orgasm [nomuntu] ngokususelwa kuzinhlamvu eziningi? Ufuna eyodwa… kokungu-100 ofunga ukuthi kuzoba yilowo oqeda kuye, kanti awukaqedi. Emizuzwaneni engu-XNUMX edlule ubucabanga ukuthi leso sithombe bekuyinto eshisa kunazo zonke owake wazibona, kodwa usiphonsa emuva bese uqhubeka nokuzingela kwakho bese uqhubeka nokwenza wephuzile emsebenzini. Lokho akuthinti kanjani i-psychology yokuba nobudlelwano nothile? Kufanele.

Ummeli uyinceku ye-Coolidge Effect. Ubuchopho bakhe bumbhikisha nge-dopamine njalo lapho echofoza encwadini "yomlingani" omusha. Gcinani engqondweni ukuthi i-dopamine yi-hook kuzo zonke izidakamizwa. I-Cocaine, isibonelo, ikhukhumeza ubuchopho nge-dopamine ngokweqile (ngokuvimbela ukuphindaphinda kwayo).

"Kungani umlingani wami engenzile kimi?"

Ukuntuleka kwesifiso kwakuyimbangela yokwehluleka komshado wami, nokwehluleka kobudlelwano obalandela lapho. Sengifikile eminyakeni engama-30 ubudala, ngisebenzise kakhulu izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kusukela ebusheni bami, futhi ngisole izinkinga zami kozakwethu (“Angikuthandi nje” / “Ngifisa sengathi ngabe ubuphendula ngokwengeziwe”), ubusha babalingani (“ Ngidinga ukunika umzimba wami isikhathi sokufinyelela ebuchosheni bami ”/“ Ngidinga ukweqa i-ex yami ”), amazinga okuqina, ukudla, ubudala, ingcindezi, ukukhathazeka ngokusebenza…

Njengamadoda amaningi, ngaya kudokotela, ngathola umzimba owakhipha noma yiziphi izimo zokwelashwa ezibucayi, futhi ngathola i-Viagra. Lapho umshado wami uphumelele, futhi ngingashadile futhi, ukusetshenziswa kocansi kwangena esikhathini esiningi-okungenani kanye ngosuku futhi kaningi izikhathi ezimbili noma ezintathu. Kodwa lapho ngibona ukuthi ngangingeke ngisakwazi ngisho nokushaya indlwabu noma i-orgasm ngaphandle kwe-porn, kukhona into echofoza. Imbangela nemiphumela ibonakala ibonakala ngokubonakalayo manje, kunjalo.

Nginozakwethu omusha engikhanga kuye futhi engikhululeka kakhulu kwezocansi naye — kepha angikwazi ukwenza kahle. Ngokujabulisayo uvulele izingxoxo ezingagunci ngale nto.

Kungani abathandekayo bakho beqala ukubheka kuwe njenge-oatmeal ebandayo, ngisho noma abanye bebambona njengopayi we-pumpkin? Esinye isici singase sibe izinga lokuvusa okungavamile kwe-porn inthanethi. Ukugqugquzela okuningi kungakunqanda ukuphendula okujabulisayo kobuchopho bakho, ukuveza izimpawu ezihlukahlukene. Siyazi lokhu kusuka ocwaningweni lwakamuva abagembula, abadla kakhulu, futhi-ke, abasebenzisi bezidakamizwa. Ubuchopho buqala ukuphendula ngaphezulu buthakathaka kunoma iyiphi i-dopamine is nxazonke-njengalokho okwakhiqizwa oshade naye, "U-Honey, yiLusuku Lusuku."

I-Dopamine yi-gas ye-injini yakho yesifiso. Ukuzwela okungenalutho kusho ukuthi ngisho noma unegesi eningi, i-V-8 yakho isebenza kuphela ezilindeni ezine. Ubuchopho bakho obuningi abuphendulanga kuye njengoba kwenzeka ngaphambili.

Kuyindida ukuthi noma ngabe ucansi nomlingani wakho alubizi kuwe, ungazizwa unxanela okukhulu okuthile okuthambekisayo (inoveli, okuyingozi). Uqhubeka ushaya phansi leso sisheshisi se-dopamine ngoba ubuchopho bakho bufuna ngokweqile ukuzwa okuhle futhi. Njengoba usomahlaya uBill Maher ehlekisa, "UHugh Grant wayene-Elizabeth Hurley ekhaya, futhi wayefuna uMarvin Hagler ngewigi."

Ngakho-ke, kungani sasiziphendulela ukuba singanelisekile emva kokugqugquzela okukhulu kakhulu? Kungenzeka ukuthi le ndlela ihoxise okhokho bethu ukuba baqede ukusikeka kwabo ngokwemvelo phakathi nenkathi yokuxubha, noma lapho ukudla okuphezulu kwekhalori kwakuseduze. Cabanga nge-Coolidge Effect kuma-turbo amabili.

Isibonelo, uma a ingulube ye-Guinea wawela emgodini wezinsikazi, wakwazi ukuzala ama-pups angamashumi amane nambili. (Uma ebanjwa, walala izinsuku ezimbili ngokuqondile. Ubuchopho budinga isikhathi sokubuyiselwa ekuvuseleleni okukhulu okunjalo.) Uma sikhukhula ubuchopho bethu neziboniso eziningi zomshado zicela ukuthanda ubulili, ubuchopho bethu bubona i-bonanza efana nayo futhi siyasiqhubekisa ukuzitika ngokweqile ngokuphazamisa ukuphendula kwethu injabulo.

Ngaphandle kokuthi uyayiqonda le ndlela yobuchopho efihliwe, ekunxenxa ukuthi unyathele igesi noma ngabe usenokwanele, kunzima ukuxhuma i-libido enganeliseki ngobuchopho obungaphenduli kangako. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kuzwakala sengathi i-libido yakho iyaqina. Iqiniso ukuthi ukungeneliseki okubangelwa yi-neurochemically ekujuleni kobuchopho kukuncenga ukuthi ufune ukukhuthazeka okwengeziwe.

Izinkomba ukuthi i-thermostat yakho ye-libido ilungisiwe kungaba: uzizwa ungenasiphelo futhi unganelisekile isikhathi; bafuna ubuhlobo bobulili obuhle nabangane bakho; thola umngane wakho womshado kancane ekhangayo / ephoqelela kune-intanethi; badinga izinto ezimbi kakhulu, nokunye. Ochwepheshe basho lokhu nomphumela "ukubekezelelana. "Lingabonisa a inqubo yokulutha umuthi emsebenzini ebuchosheni.

Ngiye ngaqala ukukhuluma no-ex wami futhi. Ngichaza ukuthi ngangingekho kude ngoba ngimtholile engathandeki ngokocansi, kodwa ngoba ngangibheke izithombe ezingcolile ze-intanethi ukuthi ngabe ngabe kudingeka ukuba agibele izinyawo zakhe, ancelise ihhashi, futhi agxume [i-transsexual] ukuba ngihlanganyele ngokugcwele ngesikhathi sokuthanda uthando.

I-Porn Ingabhekisana Kanjani Nokubambisana Kwabambisene?

Uma ukubambisana kokubili kokubili kusizuzisa thina nenzalo yethu, kungani-ke sibhekene nengozi kakhulu ekubhekaneni nohambo lwe-dopamine lwe-cyber "abalingani"? "Ngokudabukisayo, kungenxa yokuthi sinesimo sezinkolelo zobuchopho ukuze sithandane. Lekhono lokubambisana isibopho sincike ngokuphelele ukuqhuma kwe-dopamine ukukhetha izifunda zethu zothando. Ku-97% yezidalwa ezincelisayo ezinokuziphatha okubi, lezi zijikelezo zobuchopho zokubopha izibopho ezihlala njalo azikho.

Lapho ososayensi beqhathanisa nendawo enomuntu oyedwa ohlala emphakathini ovuthayo nomzala wakhe ongcolile, i-montane vole, bathola izinto ezimbili ezilukhuni.

Izilwane ezakha izibopho zombili, noma ziwela "othandweni," ziyi ukujwayele ukulutha. Bathola ukuqhuma okukhulu kwe-dopamine kusuka emithini yokulutha. Yingakho abaningi bethu bakhonywa kalula ngezinto ezikhiqiza i-dopamine nemisebenzi efana ne-porn ne-Inthanethi?
Okunye okushiwo yilokho ayizange kwenzeka lapho ososayensi bekhukhumeza ngobuningi bobugqila bobabambisene ababili ngokuvuselela amakhemikhali. Izilwane eziphilayo ngokwemvelo ayisekho okhethweni kumlingani oyedwa. Ukuvuselela okufakelwayo kwakunqotshwe umshini wabo wokuxhunyaniswa kwe-dopamine, wabashiya nje njengezilwane ezifuywayo (eziphathekayo ezivamile).

Ukuba nobuchopho obuzwela phezulu ekuthandeni kusekela ukubopha kwakho. Uthola “ukulutheka” ngandlela-thile kumlingani wakho, inqobo nje uma kungekho sosayensi akufaka umuthi. Okufanelekile, unamathela ekugoqeni njengoba nje wavela — ngoba asikho esinye isilingo. (Vele, uma isilingo siwela ethangeni lakho, izakhi zofuzo zakho zingahle ziqhume isiswebhu sabo se-dopamine.)

Kusobala, nokho, ukuthi ukuzwela okufanayo okukunxenxa ukuba uthandane kuba yingozi uma usugcwele izinto ezijabulisa abantu zocansi. Ngokungazelelwe, izifunda lapho ibhondi yakho ixhomeke khona zigcwele i-dopamine ehlotshaniswa nesikhuthazo nezinye kunomlingani wakho. Kungenza umuntu oshade naye angathandeki, futhi angaphezu kwezinto zakho ezijwayelekile zokusatshalaliswa.

Esikhundleni nje sokuthi "sigxilile,ukuhlela": Siziletha emgodini we-orgasm ngokuphindaphindiwe, ngaphandle kwe-ejaculation. [Sibonga intsha engapheli ye-inthanethi ye-Internet,] singagcina amazinga aphezulu kakhulu okuvusa ngokocansi ngokoqobo ngamahora. Ngingumhlanganyeli osebenzayo emaqenjini amaningana e-Inthanethi agxile ekubhubhiseni i-masturbation, futhi umengameli weyodwa.
Abaningi bethu baya kude nokushiya umlingani womlingani, ngisho ngenkathi umlingani ehlala ekhona futhi ethanda. Siphinde sakha igama elithi "ukungabi namandla kwamaphutha" ngenxa yento evamile yokukwazi ukuyiyisa ku-inthanethi ye-porn, kodwa hhayi kumlingani.

Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi wonke umuntu obuka izithombe ezingcolile uzoyeka umshado wakhe? Vele akunjalo. Kodwa-ke, ukusekelwa kwe-hypothesis ukuthi ukugqugquzela okungaphezu kokuvamile-ngisho nasezinguqukweni ezingathandeki ezincane kunezinhlelo zobulili ze-Inthanethi-eziphazamisa izibopho zombili zomuntu sezivele ziboniswe ocwaningweni.

Ngokombiko othile Ucwaningo lwe-2007, ukuvezwa nje kochungechunge lwezithombe zezinsikazi ezithandwayo kwenza umuntu abe ngumlingani wakhe wangempela. Ulinganisela ukwehla kwakhe ekukhangeni, kodwa nangomfudumalo nokuhlakanipha. Futhi, emva kokusetshenziswa kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, izifundo zesilisa nabesifazane ku Ucwaningo lwe-2006 babike ukwaneliseka okungenani nomlingani wabo obuseduze-kubandakanya uthando lomlingani, ukubukeka, isifiso socansi nokusebenza. Ngaphezu kwalokho, babanikezela ukubaluleka kokuya ocansini ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka ngokomzwelo.

Ngokusobala, uma ufuna ukuhlala ushada ngokunethezeka okunengqondo, wenza lula umsebenzi wakho ngokukhetha hhayi ukuze uqalise ukushicilelwa kokubangela ukuthi umlingani wakho abukeke njengoHander Helper.

Ngakho-ke, kungenzani kulo mkhondi wombili oqukethwe? Ngaphandle kokusebenzisa izindleko zokugcina indlu eyodwa, uthola izinzuzo zezempilo. Isibonelo, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukulala nomzimba kunemiphumela enenzuzo emzimbeni kunokuba wokushaya indlwabu. Ikhulula ama-neurochemicals ukuthi ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka kangcono, futhi izinzuzo zihlala isikhathi eside. Futhi, ukuthinta nsuku zonke okufudumele phakathi kwemibhangqwana kuzuzisa amadoda ukunciphisa ukucindezelwa kwegazi.

Inthanethi ayikwazi ukwenza lokho. Njengomunye umuntu,

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, i-fantasy esekelwe ezithombeni ezingcolile idala ukucindezeleka. Ukufuna ukutholakala okungenakutholakala kungenalutho futhi kunganelisi.

Ngokuphambene nalokho, ukusondelana ngokukhululekile ne kugxila ekuthinteni othandekayo akugcini nje ngokudambisa, kodwa futhi kuqinisa ngokuzenzakalelayo izibopho.

Phakathi neminyaka emaphakathi yomshado wethu, ngayeka ukukhulekela umkami. Esikhundleni salokho kwakukhona iningi le-yoni lokukhulekela umkhakha wezocansi. Njalo osemncane. Kuhle njalo. I-horny njalo. Kusha njalo. Njalo uyakwazi ukuthola i-orgasm. Futhi angalokothi agcwalise. Ngisanda kukhishwa ngokuphelele ku-porn, futhi ngiphindisele umkami ku-pedestal yakhe. Umshado wethu uphume isikhathi eside futhi uvuselelwe. Siseduze kunalokho esikude iminyaka, embhedeni nakulo lonke usuku. Ngiyathokozela ngempela uthando olude oluthile olungenalo i-goal-oriented lovemaking olungapheli ngempela-sithatha isikhashana futhi siqale futhi ngosuku olulandelayo. Ngizizwa ngingcono, futhi i-libido yami ibonakala ikhona ngokuqhubekayo.

Ufuna ukubuyela emuva kumagetsi?

Ungakwazi ukuxhumanisa kabusha ukuvusa kwakho kobulili kumlingani wakho. Yeka ukugxila ekuthandeni okukhiqiza i-dopamine engaphezu kwalokho akwenzayo. Khumbula, indlela yokuqala ebuchosheni bakho ihlale isikhuthaza ukuba ugxile ekukhethweni okukhipha i-dopamine kakhulu. Akukhathaleli ukuthi yini engcono kakhulu ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka, ukuvikela impilo yakho, noma ukuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho. Uma i-e-babe beckons, ubuchopho bakho bubheka ukuthi usebhizinisi lokusabalalisa-into ebaluleke kakhulu.

Manje ukuthi uyaqonda ukuthi ukugqugquzela okwedlulele kanzima kungangcolisa kanjani ukwazisa kwakho komngane wakho womshado ngokuthungatha izinhlelo ezithile zobuciko ebuchosheni bakho, kungcono kuwe.

Njengoba ngishiya ukushaya indlwabu ekuziphatheni kabi kwezingcingo emasontweni ambalwa adlule izinto zishintsha. Uma ngibona owesifazane onenwele ende ehamba ngengubo enhle noma egqoke izingubo, ngithola lokho kukhishwa kwamandla. Ngisetshenziswe ukuthi ngidinga i-fantasy enamandla kakhulu engcolile kuyi-intanethi ukuthola noma yikuphi uhlobo lokuvusa.

Kwamanye amasonto ambalwa ngisho nomkakhe uyomnika ukugijima.

Ukuze uthole okwengeziwe ngokuqonda impilo ye-erectile, bheka ekaGary Ukukhubazeka kwe-Erectile ne-Porn slide show.

Imicabango yendoda eyisitabane ngale ndatshana (ethunyelwe ku- “The Good Men Project”):

Le ndatshana ibiyinto ethile yesambulo. Ngicabange ukuthi ngikhubeke esizeni samadoda esiqondile le AM nge-athikili kaThomas Matlock ye-NYT, “Man I Need a Good Cuddle” yingakho-ke le ndatshana. Angikwazi ukubakhulumela bonke abesilisa abayizitabane… mina kuphela, kepha ngibheka ama-gay compadres ami njenge-WAY ngemuva kwejika ekuqondeni nasekuphenduleni i-porn ye-intanethi. Kuyisisekelo sezimpilo eziningi zobulili besilisa besilisa ngaphandle kokuqonda kwangempela kokuthi lokhu kungathinta kanjani ikhono lokuxhumana namanye amadoda ebudlelwaneni obuseduze. Angikhathaleli ukukhala isisulu, kepha ngokusekelwa okuncane (noma, okukhulayo) komshado wobungqingili, imiphumela emibi ye-porn ayibonwa. Ngokungazelelwe ngiyazi ukuthi thina besilisa abesilisa abayizitabane, ekwamukeleni kwethu ngomdlandla ukuthi "sinethemba lokuya ocansini," singabambeka ku-dopamine swirl impilo yethu eningi. Siyabonga ngalokhu kuvezwa okuthembekile kwamanye amaqiniso ongangeza engxoxweni!

UPDATES

Ukuxilongwa okusemthethweni? Umbhalo wezokwelapha wezokwelapha osetshenziswa kakhulu emhlabeni, I-International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), iqukethe ukuxilongwa okusha efanelekile ukulutha izidakamizwa: "Ukucindezeleka Ngokuziphatha Ngokwemvelo. "(I-2018)
Ukulutha kobulili / ucansi? Leli khasi libala Ucwaningo lwe-39 lwe-neuroscience (I-MRI, i-FMRI, i-EEG, i-neuropsychological, i-hormonal). Banikeza ukusekela okuqinile ngesimodeli sokulutha kwezidakamizwa njengoba iziphumo zabo zibuyisa ukutholakala kwezinzwa ezibikiwe ezifundweni zokulutha izidakamizwa.
Imibono yangempela yezobuchwepheshe ekubhekaneni nocansi / ucansi? Lolu hlu luqukethe Ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi ezingama-16 zakamuva nezincazelo ngezinye zezazi eziphezulu zezinzwa emhlabeni. Bonke basekela imodeli yokulutha.
Izimpawu zokulutha umlutha nokukhula kwezinto ezimbi kakhulu? Ngaphezulu kwezifundo ze-30 zokubika okutholakele okuhambisana nokwanda kokusetshenziswa kocansi (ukubekezelelana), ukujwayela i-porn, kanye nezimpawu zokuhoxa (zonke izimpawu nezimpawu ezihlobene nokulutha).
Ukubheka iphuzu lokukhuluma elingasekelwa ukuthi "isifiso sobulili esiphakeme" sichaza ukulahla ucansi noma ukulutha ngokobulili: Okungenani izifundo ze-25 zikhohlisa isimangalo sokuthi ubulili nemilutha ye-porn "banesifiso esiphakeme sobulili"
Izinkinga zobulili nezinkinga zobulili? Lolu hlu luqukethe izifundo ze-26 ezixhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kwe-porn / ukubheja kocansi ezinkingeni zobulili kanye nokuvusa okuncane ezenzweni zobulili. I fiziqu ze-5 ezingekho ohlwini zibonisa ibangela, njengoba abahlanganyeli beqede ukusetshenziswa kwezingcolile kanye nokuphulukisa okungavamile kocansi.
Imiphumela yocansi ebuhlotsheni? Ucwaningo oluseduze lwe-60 luxhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kwe-porn kuya ekungeneni kocansi nokuzaneliseka komndeni. (Njengoba sifana nathi konke Izifundo ezibandakanya abesilisa ziye zabika ukusetshenziswa okuningi kocansi okuxhunyiwe abampofu ubulili noma ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano.)
Ukusebenzisa i-Porn kuthinta impilo engokomzwelo nengqondo? Izifundo ezingaphezu kwe-55 zixhumanisa ukusetshenziswa kocansi nezimpofu ezingokwengqondo-ezingokomzwelo nemiphumela empofu yokuqonda.
Ukusebenzisa i-Porn kuthinta izinkolelo, isimo sengqondo nokuziphatha? Hlola izifundo ngabanye - ngaphezu kokuqukethwe kwe-25 ukuxilongwa kwe-porn ukuze "isimo sengqondo esingafani" kubesifazane kanye nokubukwa kobulili - noma isifinyeto kusuka kulolu cwaningo lwe-2016 meta: Imidiya nezocansi: Umbuso woPhando lwezobuciko, i-1995-2015.