Me Pre-Reboot: Nasi isithombe sami kuphela ngo-Okthoba 29, 2014, ngaphambi kokuqalisa kabusha:
- I-Porn, ukushaya indlwabu, umlutha wezocansi
- Ucindezelekile
- Ukuzibulala
- Ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile kanye ne-ejaculations econsayo
- Ukuqwasha
- Umshado ophukile
- Izingane ezingeneme
- Umqambimanga wokugula
- Angikwazi ngokuphelele ukusebenza (isikhathi sami sokunaka bekuyimizuzu engu-3)
- Umlutha we-TV engokoqobo
- Umlutha wemidlalo yevidiyo
- Uhlushwa yimigraines ekhubazekile
- Gcwalisa * sshole: uthukuthele, ugcwele intukuthelo
- Ihlukanisiwe futhi iyodwa, iphikisana kakhulu nomphakathi
Mina Ukulandela Ukuqalisa kabusha:
- Azikho izithombe zobulili ezingcolile noma ukushaya indlwabu
- Ebudlelwaneni besitabane obungathi sína futhi obuyedwa
- Ukuthola amandla nenjabulo nsuku zonke
- Imfucumfucu isebenza kahle futhi ifana ne-geyser ejaculations
- Ukuqothuka kuphulukisiwe: ngokokuqala ngqa empilweni yami, ngiyalala lapho ikhanda lami lishaya umcamelo bese ngivuka emva kwamahora angama-7-7.5 ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
- Ukwehlukanisa kodwa nginobudlelwano obuhle nomfazi wami wangaphambili
- Izingane ezihlala nonina edolobheni eliseduze kodwa ziphephile, zijabule futhi zilungiswa kahle
- Ngibona izingane ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi ngidla endlini yowesifazane owayengunkosikazi wami izikhathi ezi-3-4 ngesonto
- Ngithembekile ngesihluku kimi okusiza ukuba ngibe qotho futhi ngibe qotho kwabanye
- Ukubuyela emsebenzini (ukuqala kabusha umsebenzi kuqale ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezedlule)
- Awusabuki i-TV (uncamela ukufunda)
- Awusadlali imidlalo yevidiyo
- Migraines gone
- Intukuthelo ayisekho
- Kakhulu kwezenhlalo, ukuthola ukuzethemba (kepha hhayi ukuzikhukhumeza), futhi uzizwe uxhumano lwangempela nabantu
Indaba yami: Kusasa ngizoba neminyaka engama-43. Ukuqalisa kabusha yisipho esihle kunazo zonke engake ngazinika sona. Ngizwe ukuthinteka kokulutha kabi kwezocansi njenge-pre-teen, ngabe sengiqala ukushaya indlwabu ngenkani lapho kuzungeze i-14, ngabe sengiphothula omagazini, ama-movie we-VHS, futhi ekugcineni i-heroin efana ne-porn esheshayo ye-intanethi kuma-30s ami okuqala. Ngakho-ke ngibe umlutha we-PMO cishe iminyaka eyi-10-15. Ngashada nowesifazane omuhle ngo-1999, ngingubaba wezingane ezi-3 ezimbi kakhulu, futhi nginebhizinisi lami. Le mpilo enhle yacishe yabhujiswa umlutha wezocansi wansuku zonke engaziyo ukuthi wawuzongibulala. Ngangisebenzisa i-porn ukuze ngiphile impilo evaliwe. Njengobaba / umyeni ongungqingili, izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kwakuwukuphela kwendawo yami yokuya ocansini. Kepha kuya ngokuya kuba kubi. Njengoba abaningi benu bazi, ubuchopho budinga ubusha ukuthola i-dopamine efanayo ephezulu. Ngakho-ke, ngithweswe iziqu ku-porn eqondile, kwezocansi ze-gay, ku-hard-core porn, ezithombeni ezingcolile zobulili ezingahambelani. Lapho lokho kungasasebenzi, ngadonsela emhlabeni oyingozi wezingosi zokuxhuma izitabane ezifana neGrindr, elandelwa uchungechunge lwezingodo nezindaba ezingenangqondo. Ngaphuma ngaya kumkami ngoMeyi 2012, f * ngadabula wonke umuntu osendaweni engamamayela angu-40, futhi ngaqhubeka nokuhlola izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nokushaya indlwabu nsuku zonke. NgoDisemba 2013, umhlaba wami wabhidlika futhi ngacabanga ukuzibulala. Ngo-Okthoba 29, 2014, ezinsukwini ezingama-90 ezedlule, nginqume ukwenza ushintsho.
Ngenze kanjani: Ngaphambi kokuqala ukuqala kwami kabusha, nginqume ukwenza ikhefu eliphelele nesikhathi esedlule. Nginalokhu engqondweni, ngenze izinqumo ezilandelayo:
I-1. Ukuqamba amanga kwakungeyona inketho.
I-2. I-Porn bekungasiyona inketho.
I-3. Ukushaya indlwabu kwakungeyona inketho.
I-4. Ama-Hook-ups akaseyona inketho.
I-5. I-TV kwakungeyona inketho.
I-6. Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bebungasenketho.
I-7. Angikwazanga ukukushaya lokhu ngedwa.
Ngangizamile, futhi ngehluleka, ukumisa umkhuba wami ongapheli we-PMO esikhathini esedlule. Isizathu sokuthi ngehluleke sasilula: ngangingafuni ukuyeka. Ngangiyeka ne-porn izinsuku ezimbalwa kepha nginyakaze izithombe ze-XXX Tumblr. Ngingayeka amasonto ambalwa kepha ukubhala ngezocansi kwakulungile. Esikhundleni sokusakaza izithombe zobulili ezingcolile usuku lonke, ngangivivinya indawo engqingili yezitabane ebizwa ngeGrindr. Ama-hookups ayengewona ama-porn engqondweni yami. Ngangicindezeleke kakhulu. Lokhu ngikubiza nge- 'lite beer syndrome'. Umlutha wotshwala uyisidakwa noma ngabe ushintshela kubhiya we-lite. Ngangiyisilonda se-porn kepha ngangihlelile ukuthi ngiyekile ngoba nganginomfana, ngifunda izincwadi zobulili ezingcolile, noma ngigingqa ezithombeni kunamavidiyo. Bengizikhohlisa. Ukuqala kabusha kwami kunezigaba ezine ezihlukile engizokucacisa manje.
Isigaba I: Rock phansi / isikhathi sokushintsha: Okuqukethwe kwesiqalo okufanele kulandelwe. Kunendima enhle 'Encwadini Enkulu' Yezidakamizwa Ezingaziwa Engizoyibeka ngamanye amagama. Le ndima ifunda okuthile okufana nokuthi, awukwazi ukusiza umlutha wotshwala aze afune kuqala ukuzisiza. Futhi ukwenza njalo, kufanele ashaye phansi. Iziqephu ezimbili zangenza ngafuna ukushintsha impilo yami eyonakalisayo. Okokuqala kwenzeke ngehlobo eledlule ngolunye usuku ngimane ngibheka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili ehhovisi. Ngangiku-tumblr futhi ngangifuna izithombe zocansi lweqembu lezitabane. Ngikhubeke isithombe sabesilisa abayizitabane ku-'scat 'orgy. Lesi bekuyisithombe samadoda angama-gay anqunu, abambene ngengalo, embozwe izinzwane ngamakhanda abo nge-sh * t yabo, kulandela i-bareback orgy. Ngicishe ngahlanza. Ngangiwubaba, umyeni, futhi ngingumnikazi webhizinisi ohlonishwayo ngibheka ukungcola kwikhompyutha yami. Ngabheka isithombe sezingane zami ezintathu ezimomothekayo futhi ngezwa amahloni. Iphansi ledwala kimi lalinezingxenye ezimbili. Ngenkathi isithombe esivukelayo singithinta, ngangisaqhubeka 'ngijabulela' ama-gay hook ups. Ukudalulwa kwami kwesibili bekungomunye nje uMgqibelo ejimini. Ngenkathi ngitshela unkosikazi wami nezingane ukuthi ngisejimini, ngezikhathi ezithile ngangiba nabathathu nabashadile abayizitabane cishe ngemizuzu engama-30 ngemoto ukusuka endlini yami. Ngesikhathi sihlangana okokugcina (futhi okokugcina) ngo-Okthoba 2014, besikade sibaleka lapho ngibona amazwibela esibuko sabo sekhabethe eliphansi liye phezulu. Ngicabange, "Ngikwenza ini i-f * ck?" Kimi, bengidinga la ma-epiphanies, lezi zikhathi eziguqula impilo, ukuze ngishintshe. Iphuzu lami yilokhu: udinga ukuzibophezela ku-100% ukuqala kabusha, ngaphandle kwalokho uzohluleka. Endabeni yami, bengidinga isizathu esihle kakhulu sokuhlukana nesikhathi esedlule futhi iziqephu ezingenhla zikwenzile lokho.
Isigaba II: Ukuqalisa kabusha Kwasekuqaleni / Ukuhoxiswa: Ngo-Okthoba 29, 2014, ngijoyine i-Porn Addiction Anonymous “PAA” (www.pornaddictsanonymous.org). Ngokujoyina, ngamukele ukuthi nganginomlutha, ngehluleka ukuwulawula, futhi ngadinga umphakathi ukuwushaya. Lokhu bekungelula ukubona. Ngathumela kuwebhusayithi yabo nsuku zonke, ngabamba iqhaza (ngokwesaba) emihlanganweni yamasonto onke yeSkype, futhi maphakathi no-Novemba ngajoyina i-Rebootnation. Imikhuba yami yezocansi / yocansi / ukushaya indlwabu yazizwa womuntu futhi exakile ngokungaziwa. Lokhu kwabe kulandelwa yisidingo esibonayo se Ukutakula. Okungisindise ekuqaleni kabusha kwakuwukufunda konke engingakwenza mayelana nokulutha kocansi. Incwadi kaGary Wilson ethi, “Your Brain on Porn” yasindisa impilo. Ukuqonda isayensi nobuchopho be-chemistry yokulutha kwami kwangisiza ukuba ngilwe nakho. Uhlelo lwami lwama-judeo-christian ngokungafanele lwangenza ngabona ukulutheka kwami ngenkungu yecala lobukatolika, amahloni, kanye nokuntula inkolelo yokuziphatha. Ngokujabulisayo lezi zathathelwa indawo ukuqonda okujulile nge-dopamine, izikhungo zobumnandi, i-DeltaFosB, njll. Ngocwaningo lwami, ngingaqonda kangcono futhi ngamukele ukuhoxa: izandla nezinyawo zami ezixhawulayo; ikhanda liyashesha; izimpawu ezinjengomkhuhlane; izinhlungu / izinhlungu njll. Ulwazi lwanginika amandla okuqonda ukuthi ukuhoxiswa kanye ne-flatline kwakuphulukisa. Bebeyingxenye yenqubo kunokuhlala unomphela. Lokhu kwangisindisa. Kepha akukho okungangilungiselela isigaba sesithathu sokuqalisa kabusha.
Isigaba sesithathu: Ukuqaliswa Kwemizwelo: Kuphela lapho kuphakama inkungu ye-porn lapho ubona khona ukubhujiswa okugcwele kwempilo yakho. Manje sengiyaqonda okuthile mayelana nokulutha: zonke izidakamizwa ziyimizamo yokugwema ubuhlungu. Endabeni yami, ngiqale ngasebenzisa i-porn ukufihla ubungqingili bami. Ngemuva kwalokho kwaba yindawo yokugwema bonke ubuhlungu, kufaka phakathi imisebenzi ejwayelekile ehlobene nomsebenzi. Angikwazi ukuhamba imizuzu engu-3 ngaphandle kokufuna ukulungiswa kwe-porn (ngiyazi, ngiyibekile isikhathi). Ngicabanga ukuthi yingakho abantu abaningi bephindela emuva lapho bezwa ubuhlungu bokuhoxa, ukungaqiniseki kwe-flatline, kanye neqiniso elibuhlungu lempilo yethu ngaphandle kokukhathazeka kocansi. Ukulandela ukuhoxa kanye nokubambeka phansi, kokubili ngokomzimba, ngaqala inqubo ende futhi enzima yokubhekana nemizwelo, izinkumbulo, nemikhuba eyaholela ekubeni umlutha wami. Ngithumele ngokweqile kule webhusayithi nakuwebhusayithi yePAA. Ngithole umlingani oxhasayo / osangulukile. Ngifunde izincwadi eziningana ezikhuluma ngomlutha kodwa okuhle kakhulu bekungukuthi “Breaking the Cycle” nguGeorge Collins. Endabeni yami, bengidinga ukubhekana ngokucophelela nezinkumbulo neziqephu empilweni yami ezenze ukuba ngibe umlutha. Ngeke ngidlule kuzo zonke kepha bekufanele ngibhekane nazo: izinkumbulo ezihlukumezayo zobuntwana; umshado wami onobuthi, oncikene ngokubambisana; ukudubula kabuhlungu emsebenzini wami wokuqala; njalo njalo. "Ukuqeda umjikelezo" kunginike amandla okuthi ngingabe ngisabaleka ebuhlungwini bami. Le ngxenye yokuqalisa kabusha yayiyinselele enkulu futhi kwangithatha cishe izinyanga ezimbili kusukela osukwini lwe-30 kuze kube namuhla ukukhomba, ukubhekana, futhi ekugcineni nginqobe ukwesaba, ukuzizonda, ukuhlukaniswa, kanye necala lokuthi konke kudle umlutha wami we-PMO. Bengingeke ngikwenze lokhu ngedwa.
Isigaba IV: Ukubuyiselwa Kwasekuqaleni / Ukuqala kabusha Komsebenzi: Angikaze emaphusheni ami amabi ngicabange ukuthi impilo yami ingashintsha kakhulu ezinsukwini ezingama-90 nje. Ngasuka ekuzibulaleni ngazicabangela. Ngaphambi kokuqalisa kabusha, ngangizizonda kakhulu ngangifuna ukuzibulala. Yeka ukuthi ubugovu nobugovu bunjani lokho? Manje ngigcwele ithemba nomqondo omangalisayo wenjongo ngokuthi ngingubani nokuthi yini engifuna ukuyifeza. Ngifunde incwadi ethi '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' enconywe omunye umuntu oqalisa kabusha isithuthuthu. Futhi ekugcineni ngibe nesibindi sokubhala eyami imingcwabo emasontweni ambalwa edlule. Ngabe bengifuna abantu badumise i-d * ck yami bese bekhombisa izithombe zami eziboshwe kwikhompyutha yami, ziphela? Cha! Ngifuna impilo egcwele uthando, izinkumbulo, ubuciko, izincwadi, impumelelo… impilo egcwele injabulo. Ngokuqalisa kabusha, ngamukele ukuthi angiyena umqondo wami, noma izinkumbulo zami ezidabukisayo, noma abanye abesilisa abaphambukayo. Ngingumuntu omuhle kakhulu onokunikela okuningi emndenini wami nasemphakathini. Ukuqalisa kabusha kungibuyisele impilo yami.
Lapho ngikhona manje: Ngokomfanekiso, ngisayina amaphepha ami esehlukaniso ngosuku lwami lokuzalwa kusasa. Lokhu kuzosho ukukhululeka ebuhlungwini bomshado wami onobuthi. Kuphinde kukhulule nowayengunkosikazi wami ukuthola uthando lweqiniso futhi kukhulula izingane zethu ekubeni ziphile izinhlungu zansuku zonke zobudlelwano bethu obuphukile. Mina nowayengunkosikazi wami sihlala sisondelene: njengomfowethu nodadewethu. Siyaqhubeka nokukhulisa izingane zethu ezi-3 ndawonye yize enelungelo lokugcina izingane. Njenganoma imuphi umndeni, kuzoba nezingqinamba kepha angisagijimeli izinselelo zempilo. Enye yezingxoxo zami empeleni kube kubi kakhulu kunalokho ebengikucabanga. Ngakho-ke ngithole uthando futhi bengilokhu ngibona indoda efanayo enhle iminyaka engu-2.5 manje. Asinazimfihlo futhi uyangeseka okuyinto enhle. Sinokuphila kocansi okumangazayo futhi ngijabulela ukuxhumana okusondelene nothile kunokuba ngigxile ekuthambekiseni kwami okwe-laser ezintweni zemishini ezinjengokwakhiwa kanye ne-orgasm. Ngothando lwabanye, ngifunda amandla okuthanda nokuba yimi uqobo. Ibhizinisi lami liqale kabusha kancane kancane nami. Ngokomfanekiso, izolo bekuyizinsuku zami ezinhle kakhulu zokuthengisa ezake zaba khona. Ngifunda kancane kancane ukuphatha abaphathi bami, ukuxhumana kabusha namakhasimende ami, nokubeka izinhloso ezizwakalayo. Inhloso yami akukhona ukuceba njengoba lokhu kuyinjongo engenalutho, kepha ngifuna ukujabula ngokucebile futhi ngigcwaliswe yimpilo yami yobungcweti neyami uqobo.
Ngakho-ke ngiyabonga Gabe Deem, Gary Wilson, nawo wonke umphakathi wokuqalisa kabusha ukunginika amathuluzi wokubuyisela impilo yami.
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