Sekuyiminyaka ecishe ibe ngu-5 (Novemba 2011) selokhu ngaqala ukunquma ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokugqashula lo mkhuba. Nginama fapstronaut ayizinkulungwane ezimbalwa kuphela ezosisekela (manje sesicishe sifike ku-200k. Wow!), Ngiqale uhambo okungenzeka ukuthi belulolunye lwezinkambo ezinzima kakhulu empilweni yami kuze kube manje.
Ngisanda kukhumbula igama nephasiwedi kule akhawunti elahlekile ngemuva kokubona le ndawo okukhulunywa ngayo kwenye indawo eReddit. Ngilapha. Le yindaba yami.
Ngubani onika idomeni ukuthi abantu bacabangani, kunjalo? Kumele siziphilele ukuze sijabule. Phila emzuzwini! Carpe diem! Ukushaya indlwabu kunempilo futhi akukho lutho olungalungile ngakho. Abanye abantu bayinkinga. Angenzi lutho olubi.
Lezi kwakuyizaba engangizisebenzisa ukuthethelela isenzo sami.
Ukushaya indlwabu kwaba umkhuba wansuku zonke - kwesinye isikhathi, umkhuba kathathu-wansuku zonke. Iqale ngemidlalo emincane emincane ye-Flash hentai ku-Intanethi, yathuthuka yaba yi-porn ejwayelekile ne-Facebook fapping (yebo, benginguye ukuthi kid), bese nakwezinye izinto engingazizwa ngikhululekile ukukhuluma ngazo ngisho naku-akhawunti yokulahla.
Uzizwa uphansi? Yisebenzise. Uzizwa ujwayelekile? Yisebenzise. Uzizwa ujabulile? Yisebenzise. Yijike, shintsha izingubo zami, ngigeze, ngidlale imidlalo yevidiyo, ngivuke, ngikhubeke esikoleni, ngifike ekhaya, ngidle ukudla okungenamsoco, umdlalo, ngiwufakele… kuqhubeke umjikelezo.
Kwakungalolo suku lwenhlekelele ngasekupheleni konyaka ka-2011 lapho ngithola lo mphakathi. Umsebenzi wami we-Fapstronaut waqala njengesinqumo seminyaka emisha. Ukungena engxenyeni yokuqala yonyaka ka-2012, nakuma-semester okugcina esikoleni esiphakeme, izinto zazibukeka zimfiliba. Bengidlala usuku lonke, ngeqa isikole, ngithola isisindo samathani, futhi ngikhuhla kancane emakilasini ami. Izikolo zami zokuhlolwa zazizinhle kakhulu, kepha umsebenzi wesikole wawulele etafuleni lami ungathintwanga izinyanga ngesikhathi. Ngangicindezeleke ngokweqile. Umndeni wami udumele kakhulu ngoba bekubonakala sengathi benginekhono ekuqaleni kwempilo yami futhi ngangikude nalokho. Kepha ngangingenandaba: ngangiphilela mina. Mina mina. Fuck wonke umuntu.
Kepha lokho kwashintsha lapho ngiqala ukufunda okuthunyelwe kulo mphakathi nsuku zonke. I-positivity, imihlomulo (ubani obakhathalelayo ukube bebengama-placebo? I-placebo ingcono kunokuhlupheka), ulwazi lokuthi abanye babesesikebheni esifanayo futhi bafundile ukuphuma; Zonke lezi zinto zagxila emqondweni wami, futhi nganquma ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi nami ngilandele indlela, ngilinqobele leli dimoni kanye kuphela.
Kuthathe izinyanga - cha, iminyaka - ukusetha kabusha ibheji lami ukuze ngiyeke ekugcineni. Isikhathi sokuqala lapho ngihlala khona izinsuku ezintathu. Okulandelayo, isonto. Okulandelayo, izinsuku ezimbili kuphela. Okulandelayo, amasonto amabili. Angikhumbuli ngisho nenani lezikhathi okwakumele ngisethe kabusha, kepha kwaqala ukudikibala, ikakhulukazi lapho ngibona ukuthi kwakungekho iphethini ebonakalayo yokuthi ngihlale isikhathi esingakanani. Kwakunezikhathi lapho ngangiyeka khona ukuzama, nginqume ukuthi kwakungafanele. Kepha ngangihlala ngibuya ngoba akunakwenzeka ukufihla eqinisweni, futhi thina maFapstronauts silazi iqiniso ngoba sonke sihlupheka ngokufanayo.
Kwakukhona izinzuzo eziningi. I-placebo ethile (ngicabanga), ethile iyabonakala. Umzimba wami ushintshile. Ukwehla kwesisindo, amandla amaningi, ukuma kwami kuthuthukile, izwi lami lajula. Ekugcineni ngakhululeka ukusebenzisa imakrofoni ku-Intanethi! Inkungu yobuchopho inciphile (yize ayikaze inyamalale ngokuphelele ngenxa yokunye ukulutha). Ngikwazi ukukhuluma nabantu ngokwendalo, nangokuzethemba okwengeziwe. Futhi, ama-erections ami abuyela emandleni aphelele. Ngaphambi kokuba babuthakathaka: bakhulu kakhulu ngokwanele ukuba kubhekwe njengokwakhiwa. Ngangihlala ngilokhu ngishesha kakhulu. Lezo zokugcina ezimbili mhlawumbe zaziyishukumisa kakhulu kunazo zonke.
Umndeni wami nabangane babone ushintsho futhi, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi semifula yenyanga ye-1 +. Futhi ngisho nalapho ngiphule i-streak yami, ezinye izinzuzo zahlala, futhi zanda ngokwengeziwe nge-streak ngayinye elandelayo.
Noma kunjalo, ngabona okuthile mayelana neminyaka engu-2 ohambweni lwami. Imigqa yami emide kakhulu yafika lapho ngangiphequlula lo mphakathi nsuku zonke. Ukufunda okuthunyelwe, izindaba zokuphumelela, izindaba zokubuyela emuva; noma nini lapho ngiyeka ukufunda, ngangibuyele emuva. Lokhu kwakukukhulu. Ngokokuqala ngqá, ngikwenze kwaba cishe izinsuku eziyi-120 zilandelana ngaphambi kokubuyela emuva. Ngokuzayo, ngayeka unomphela - ngalesi sikhathi lapho ngiyeka ukuza kule subreddit angiphindanga ngabuyela emuva.
Sekuyiminyaka emibili i-PMO mahhala. Ngilahlekelwe ubuntombi bami, ngithole umsebenzi oholela kahle, nginentombi, nginabangane bangempela hhayi nje abantu engibajwayele. Ukugxila kwami manje sekumiseni eminye imikhuba yami emibi, ikakhulukazi ukubhema (izinyanga ezi-2 mahhala!), Okubonakala kulula uma kuqhathaniswa. Kusenezinto eziningi empilweni yami ezingaphelele. Kusenezingxenye zami eziningi ezinendawo yokuthuthuka. Kodwa umbono wami ushintshile. Kungasekho ukucindezeleka, ukungasadli ngokweqile nokudlala, futhi kungasekho izaba.
NoFap yashintsha impilo yami.
LINK - I-5 Iminyaka eyi-Fapstronaut: ngibheka isikhathi sami lapha.
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