Futhi ubone:
- Ingabe Ukuthandana Ngokwecansi Kungenakwenzeka?
- Ungathembela uJohnson wakho?
- I-Exposure Therapy ye-HOCD?
- Ukusekelwa kwempi: Ngaphezulu kwezifundo ze-30 zokubika okutholakele okuhambisana nokwanda kokusetshenziswa kocansi (ukubekezelelana), ukujwayela i-porn, kanye nezimpawu zokuhoxa (zonke izimpawu nezimpawu ezihlobene nokulutha).
Iyini indima ye-orgasm ku-wiring okuthandwa yizocansi ezenzelwe?
Ekhulwini leminyaka elidlule, izazi zezinzwa zaziqiniseka ukuthi ubuchopho obudala bubekwe kahle kakhulu. Manje, i-neuroscience yakamuva iveza ukuthi ubuchopho bethu buyiplastiki ephezulu kuzo zonke izimpilo zethu. Ngokufunda amasu asisiza ukuba sinyathele i-wiring engadingeki, singakwazi uqondise inqubo yokubamba kabusha-Nemiphumela ebonakalayo emangalisayo.
Umgomo obalulekile ekuqondeni ukuthi sizifaka kanjani izintambo, noma siphinde sisebenzise izintambo, izingqondo zethu “zingama-neuron avutha ndawonye.” Lokho wukuthi, uma kwenzeka izinto ezimbili ngasikhathi sinye, ubuchopho bethu buvame ukuzihlanganisa ngokusebenzisa ukuxhumana kwangempela kwe-neural. Lapho imicimbi ehambisanayo iba namandla ngokwengeziwe, noma lapho iphindaphindwa, iqinisa izintambo. Amaqembu amangqamuzana ezinzwa anikelwe ekuziphatheni noma ekusebenzeni kwesinye isikhathi abizwa ngokuthi “amamephu obuchopho.”
I-Orgasm isifo se-neurochemical esiphundu kangangokuthi ubuchopho bethu buyifake kalula (futhi buvuke) kwimicimbi ehambisana nezimo. Isibonelo, njengoba uNorman Doidge echazela ku Ubuchopho Obushintshayo,
Amadoda asekhompyutheni abo abheka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ayengabanjwanga njengo-tyena amagundane ezinkanjini ze-NIH, ecindezela ibha ukuthola isibhamu se-dopamine noma okulingana nayo. Yize babengazi, babeyengwe ngezikhathi zokuqeqeshwa kwezocansi ezahlangabezana nazo zonke izimo ezidingekayo ngokushintshwa kwepulasitiki kwamamephu obuchopho. … Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho bezwa ukujabula ngocansi futhi beba ne-orgasm lapho beshaya indlwabu, "i-spritz ye-dopamine," i-neurotransmitter yomvuzo, yahlanganisa ukuxhumana okwenziwe ebuchosheni phakathi nezikhathi. [Kusuka esahlukweni esithi "Ukuthola Ukunambitheka Nothando."]
Ngokusobala, i-orgasm iyinhlangano eqinile enamandla kangangokuthi ingakwazi ukuhlela amabalazwe obuchopho, okusho ukuthi kuphi ukunakwa kwethu esikhathini esizayo okuqondiswa ngaphandle kokuqaphela kwethu okuqaphelayo. Lokhu kusikisela ukuthi singase sicabange ukucabanga kusengaphambili ngaphambi kokudlulela kwezinye izindlela zokuvusa ucansi.
Ukuvuswa kungakwazi futhi guqula amabalazwe obuchopho. Yenza amarekhodi ukuthi ukuthanda ngokobulili kwesinye seziguli zakhe kudlule ngezigaba. (i-p.95) Wathandwa kuphela ngabalingani bezocansi base-Asia kwesinye isigaba, kanye nabalingani base-Afrika kuphela kwesinye. Esimweni ngasinye, wayenesiqiniseko sokuthi injabulo yakhe yayixhomeke ocansini ukuthi ubuhlanga. Kodwa ekugcineni akakwazanga ukulala naye esiswini. (Umuntu uyazibuza lapho Ukuthanda komuntu ompofu kwashintsha lapho eseqede isifiso sakhe sobulili kuzo zonke izinhlanga ezinhlanu.)
Ngokudabukisayo, futhi okuningi i-orgasm kungenzeka ukuthi yayisemuva kokugxekwa kwayo. Ukuhlukumezeka ngokocansi kubonakala sengathi kuphefumulela I-Coolidge Effect, okungukuthi, ukuthambekela kwezidalwa ezincelisayo ukuze zishaye abashadile abaye baqeda isifiso sabo socansi, ngakho bathola abashadile abashadile.
Ngomugqa ofanayo, abasebenzisi be-porn abasindayo kwesinye isikhathi bayaqaphela ukuthi njengoba ukubekezelelana kwakhela ukuthanda kwabo kwangaphambilini, bahamba ngezindlela ezintsha ekufuneni kwabo ukuvusa okukhulu. Esikhundleni sokufuna izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ezihambisana namamephu abo obuchopho bangaphambilini, abaningi bafuna okubathusayo - mhlawumbe ngoba "kwenqatshelwe" futhi "kukhiqiza ukwesaba," uma kuhlangene nokuvusa ucansi, kunikeza ukukhahlelwa kwamakhemikhali amakhulu ebuchosheni… okungenani okwesikhashana. Ishifti ngayinye incenga izintandokazi ezintsha ebuchosheni. (Funda ukuthi i-Internet ye-porn ihluke kanjani kwezocansi zangaphambilini: Porn Manje Futhi Manje: Siyakwamukela Brain Training) 
UDoidge uphinde waveza ukuthi ezinye izinketho zabasebenzisi bezocansi, njengokushaywa noma ukubuswa, zingahle zihlobene nokwazi okungatheni, okungukuthi, okusobala, izinkumbulo zobuntwana abangazazi. Uma seyenziwe yasebenza nge-porn "elungile", futhi yaqiniswa nge-orgasm, izimo ezinjalo zingashesha zibe ukucindezelwa.
Ukuthanda izinto zocansi okungalindelekile kungavela. Indoda engaphezu komunye oyimpofu oye waqondisa konke ukuphila kwakhe, futhi ngubani okholwa ngokuthembeka ukuthi uyaphi namanje iqonde, ifikile kuwebhusayithi yami ishaqekile iqiniso lokuthi i-porn yama-gay iphoqa ngokungazelelwe. Ingabe lobu ubungqingili nje obufihlekile? Mhlawumbe kungenjalo, ngoba ukudayela akusho ukuthi kumile ezocansi ze-gay. Indoda eyodwa yahamba yaya ocansini oluqondile, yaya ocansini lwezitabane, izingqikithi zocansi zokubusa kobungqingili kanye ne-hypnosis yezocansi. Abanye bahlukumezekile lapho bezithola besuka ekucabangeni bezolingisa izimo zocansi, njenge-buzz evela kumafulegi evidiyo nje.
Ingabe ubungqingili buba nengxenye kulezi zinguquko? Cabanga ngezimo ezihlukahlukene ze ukushintsha ekuthandweni kobulili (kusuka ocansini ngokobulili kuya ocansini) ezigulini ezinikeziwe izidakamizwa ze-dopamine agonist ngemilenze kaParkinson futhi engaphumuli. Kwezinye, izidakamizwa eziphezulu ze-dopamine, noma mhlawumbe ucansi olubangelwa izidakamizwa, lubangelwe okuthandwa ngu-uncharacteristic ngokocansi-Kuze imishanguzo yabo ishintshwe.
Ukuphishekela i-orgasm ejwayelekile ngosizo lwe-porn yanamuhla eyeqile kwi-Intanethi kungaveza umphumela ofanayo (ama-surges we-dopamine aqhuba ukwakheka kwesisu). Lapho ebuzwa mayelana nokuhlala njalo kwamamephu obuchopho bobulili bobuntwana, umlwelwe othile wezocansi oneminyaka engamashumi amabili wathi ngokungagunci:
Angicabangi ukuthi yikuphi okuthandayo okuhlala njalo-noma ukuthi lokho engikufisayo kuzohlala okufanayo. Ngisho ngezigaba ezihlukahlukene engangihamba ngazo ekuluthweni kocansi, izinto zashintsha okuningi. Yiziphi izikhangiso zami eziyinhloko? Angisazi futhi. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngizoyithola ngemva kokuba ngiphumile ku-porn ingxenye yalomlutha isikhathi eside.
Kungenzeka uqinisile. Isikhathi sokuyeka i-orgasm kubonakala kungenye yezindlela eziguqula amamephu obuchopho babantu bezocansi (noma kuveze amabalazwe ajule kakhulu). Kusho umfana oqondile owayebuka kuphela i-porn yama-gay futhi edidekile ngakho:
Ngenze izinsuku eziyi-10 kuphela ngalesi sikhathi ngaphandle kokushaya indlwabu, kodwa ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ukuthanda kwami kuyabuyela emuva. Ukuheha kwami abesifazane kwakushintshwe kakhulu. Mina aempeleni uthole ama-butterflies nokuvusa okuzenzekelayo ngenkathi ngibheka owesifazane okokuqala eminyakeni engu-2! Ngabuye nginomusa wesambulo. Ingabe ukuthanda kwami kuye kwasetshenziselwa ukuqiniswa okuqhubekayo nokugujwa ngokushaya indlwabu emibonweni ethize yobulili?
Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kufana nesalona wesifazane, asilandisa ngemva kokuba eqale ukuzama ukwenza uthando oluthambile ngaphandle komgomo wokufika kuvuthondaba. Njengomuntu omdala, wathola ukuthi amaphupho okuhlukunyezwa ayegijima ekhanda lakhe noma nini lapho ezama ukufika kuvuthondaba ayewumkhiqizo wento ethile engasho lutho (kodwa ngokusobala ebuhlungu futhi evusa inkanuko) ukuhlwithwa kwesitho sangasese sikadokotela wakhe wezingane lapho eseyingane. Ukuthola umthombo wale mephu yobuchopho akuzange kususe ukuhlobana. Eqinisweni, uthe akakaze avuke noma afinyelele umvuthwandaba ngaphandle kokuvala inhliziyo, amafilimu okuhlukunyezwa agijima ekhanda lakhe. Wamangala lapho eqala ukuzama ukwenza uthando ngaphandle i-orgasm njengoba umgomo amafantasi ahlehla ngokushesha, angalokothi abuyele.
Ngemuva kokufunda incwadi kaDoidge, ngiyasola ukuthi laba bantu babone izinguquko ngoba bahlehlise umthetho "wezicubu zomlilo ohlangene ngocingo ndawonye". Lokho wukuthi, basuse i-pusuit ye-orgasm okwesikhashana-nezinhlangano zayo ezingadingeki, kepha eziqinile. Lokhu ngandlela thile kwavumela izingqondo zabo ukuthi zichithe, noma ziqale ukuchitha izinhlangano ezitholwe ngobuciko.
I-Psychiatrist UJeffrey Schwartz isebenzisa inguqulo yale nqubo ngempumelelo enkulu ukusiza iziguli ze-OCD (eziphoqelela ngokweqile) ukuthi ziguqule ukuxhunywa kobuchopho okwenza izinhlangano ezingafuneki zibangele izenzo "ezidingekayo". Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho kuvela umfutho ongafuneki, isiguli siphendulela ukunaka komunye umsebenzi, owakhethwa ngaphambili, owakhayo. Kancane kancane, “ama-neurons ahlukana ngaphandle, ahlukaniswe ngocingo.” Lokho wukuthi, ukuxhumana kwamaseli ezinzwa kuyancipha njengoba umsebenzi kuma-synapses ayisihluthulelo wehla.
Konke lokhu kusho, futhi kubani, okuhlala kubonakala. Isibonelo, ingabe kungenzeka ukuthi usebenzise le nqubo ukuxhuma amamephu wezocansi atholakala ebuntwaneni ngengozi? I-Doidge ichaza isifundo esenziwe emphakathini we-BDSM (ubugqila no-sadomasochism). Kwaveza lokho konke abakwa-masochists babebhekene nezinqubo zokwelapha ezibuhlungu ebuntwaneni. Kungabe laba bantu abadala bangazi ukuthi yini okuthanda kwabo ngokobulili ngabe ngabe engekho okwenzekayo? Kuthiwani ngokuhlangana okungafuneki okutholakala ngenxa yokuhlukunyezwa kwezingane ngokocansi? Ingabe isikhathi sezocansi ngaphandle kwe-orgasm (kuya kwisenzo esingadingeki) sivumela ubuchopho ukuthi buqalise futhi buvumelanise ne-wiring yayo yangaphambilini?
I-Orgasm iyakhathaza kakhulu ukuthi ubuchopho bethu buzithathele ngokuzenzakalelayo indlela esheshayo kuyo, njengokuthatha umzila oqondile kunazo yonke ensimini yasotshani. Uma singalokothi sivumele utshani bukhule emuva, siqhubeka sihamba ngendlela yokuncintisana okungenani ngisho noma yenziwe njengesiqu esiphezulu.
Ithuba lokuthi abantu bangakwazi ukukhulula amamephu abo obuchopho bobulili kumfucumfucu engadingeki liyajabulisa. Ngasikhathi sinye, kuyasangulukisa ukucabanga ukuthi bangaki abantu abangashintsha ngamabomu ubuchopho babo bepulasitiki ngemfucumfucu ehlala njalo abangayifuni — ngosizo lwecornucopia yanamuhla yezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-Inthanethi.
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