Umphumela we-Coolidge ungacacisa izinhloso zethu ezinhle kakhulu.
Eminyakeni embalwa edlule Abacwaningi baseJalimane babika ukuthi njengoba isikhathi sobambiswano sikhula, isifiso sobulili ngokuvamile sehla kwabesifazane — kanti isifiso sobumnene ngokuvamile sehla emadodeni. Imvamisa umlingani okhungathekile (wobulili obubodwa) ucabanga ukuthi angajabula ngokuphelele uma kuphela engaba nobulili obuningi ngendlela afuna ngayo. Yini engamfaka esimeni?
Eqinisweni, isimo sinzima kunalokho. Amakhanda empeleni aphikisana nohlelo oluthile olubi kakhulu lwezakhi zofuzo, okuvame ukuwaxosha ngaphandle kokuvumelanisa ngokocansi-ngisho nokuya kubalingani beveli.
Cabanga ngalokho okwenzeka lapho izinkabi zesilisa zazihlangene ngokuphindaphindiwe ngamabhinqa afanayo (abahlala benesimo sengqondo, ngenxa yemijovo ye-hormone yansuku zonke). Izulu laseMonkey, kunjalo? Nope. Amadoda ikopishwe kancane kancane kancane, futhi ngokunciphisa intshiseko, ngaphezu kweminyaka emithathu nengxenye yonyaka. Akukhona lokho kuphela, lapho abesifazane abanoveli beboniswa, laba bahlezi basheshe bafaka isenzo ngesitsha sabo sokuqala.
Ngakho-ke bekuzokwenzekani uma umngane wakho womshado ehlala enesimo sengqondo? Amathuba omuhle ukuthi maduzane ngeke ube… naye okungenani. Iqiniso elidabukisayo ukuthi uma oshade naye engalali nawe ocansini kaningi ngendlela ongathanda ngayo, angahle alondoloze inyunyana yakho ngokukuvimbela ekuzisuthiseni ngokocansi kaningi. Lesi akusona isimo esikahle, kepha, ngoba ngaphandle kokuthintana njalo kothando, izibopho ezingokomzwelo phakathi kwemibhangqwana ziyancipha, futhi, ngeshwa, imibhangqwana eminingi igxila ekuthandaneni okuqondayo kuphela lapho bephishekela i-orgasm.
Indima ye-dopamine
Ukwaneliseka ngokocansi kungahlukanisa kanjani abashadile? Ngenkathi ososayensi bebheka ebuchosheni bamagundane abakhwelayo, bathola ukuthi i-neurochemical ebizwa nge-dopamine (into "Nginayo!") Yayiyimbangela yesimo sokukhathala komlingani. Njengoba igundane lisebenza ngokuphindaphindiwe nomlingani ofanayo, i-dopamine engaphansi nangaphansi ikhishwa kumjikelezo womvuzo wobuchopho bayo.
Kodwa-ke lapho kuvela umlingani ongaba umlingani wenoveli, i-dopamine iphinda ibuye. Ukhona kweso emoyeni. Yindlela efanayo eyenza ukuthi uthi "yebo" kudizethi enoshukela, enamafutha noma ngabe ugcwele u-turkey namazambane acubuziwe. Ukunyuka kwe-Dopamine kumjikelezo wakho womvuzo kungadlula imizwa yakho yokusutha, noma ngabe ingqondo yakho enengqondo ingacabangani ngokudla ngokweqile noma ngokungathembeki. Ukudonsa i-dopamine ngu "yebo!" ngenkathi i-dopamine ephansi "ingaka." Njengoba sizobona kokuthunyelwe okuzayo, i-dopamine nayo yehla ngokwemvelo ngemuva kwe-orgasm, edlala ngqo kulo mkhuba. Izakhi zethu zofuzo zingadlalisa onodlame abangenanhliziyo.
Ososayensi babiza ukuthambekela kokukhathala komuntu oshade naye ocansini naye, ngenkathi esebenza ngokuzenzekelayo ukuze athole okusha, I-Coolidge Effect. Bayiqaphele lokhu kwenzeka phakathi kwezilwane ezincelisayo, kuhlanganise nabesifazane. Amanye ama-rodents wesifazane, isibonelo, ukudlala ngothando ngothando oluningi-ukuvumelanisa emibonweni ekhangayo-nabalingani abangajwayelekile kunalezo asezikopishile ngazo. Ngokuhambisana nalesi simo, lapho imibhangqwana idivosa ngoba izimpilo zayo zocansi seziphumile ekuvumelaneni, owakwakhe owayengathandeki uvame ukwethuka yi-libido evuthayo lapho isithandwa esisha singena esithombeni. Lona wesifazane manje uyamfuna umyeni wamashumi amabili nantathu.
I-Coolidge Effect
Ngisho nalabo abangenabo abalingani bangempela bahlangabezana nomphumela we-Coolidge ngemuva kokukhathaniswa ngokocansi:
Ngibuke idokhumentari ephathelene nabafana enodoli abathandayo nababiza ngokweqile. Omunye umfana wayenezishumi zabo. Wayenezinto eziningi kangangokuba wayephelelwa igumbi egumbini lakhe. Yize bekunjalo amodoli, wayesevele eqale ukubabona njengamantombazane ayekade echitha isikhathi esanele nawo futhi manje esekulungele ukuthola amathuba amasha (omgunyathi) ezakhi zofuzo. Mhlawumbe kungani abafana beqoqa i-porn engaka… sicabanga ukuthi sithole i-porn enkulu kunayo yonke kodwa ngemuva kokuyibona izikhathi ezimbalwa asiphindanga sabuyela emuva. Nginezithonjana zezithombe ze-jpeg engiziqoqile, ngicabanga ukuthi ngiqoqa imininingwane ethile emnandi yenjabulo. Kepha angikhumbuli ngibuye ngibuyele kubo futhi. Ingxenye ephoqayo isithombe ESISHA, isithombe senoveli, noma mhlawumbe, unodoli wothando wenoveli.
Kungani i-biology ingabangela umlingani ovamile ukuba abheke ngokuningi futhi njengamahlumela aseBrussels futhi omusha kubonakale sengathi i-chocolate mousse ecebile? Ngakho-ke inzalo eningi ngokuhlukahluka kwezakhi zofuzo ikhiqizwa (ngokwesilinganiso kuwo wonke umuntu). Izakhi zakho zofuzo zikhetha ukuhamba ngomkhumbi ngezikebhe eziningi ezihlukene njengoba zikwazi ukugqoka. I-monogamy inengozi njengokufaka amaqanda enqoleni eyodwa.
Ukubhondi okuhlanganisiwe
Ufuna ubufakazi? Cha izilwane ezincelisayo ziyingqayizivele (ngomqondo wokuba okukhethekile ngokobulili), kanti kuphela amaphesenti amathathu kuphela ukuhlukumeza ukubambisana kokubili. Lezi zimboni ezihlanganisiwe (kubandakanya abantu) ziyaziwa ngokuthi emphakathini owodwa. Bakha kalula izinamathiselo zesikhathi esigcwele futhi bavame ukukhulisa inzalo yabo ndawonye, ngisho noma besabhekana nezifiso zokukhohlisa nxazonke ngenxa ye-Coolidge Effect.
Izakhi zethu zofuzo zifuna ukuthi siqale ukulandela amathuba othembisayo ezakhi zofuzo noma ngabe sizibeka engcupheni yokungabi “nokuphila okujabulisayo kuze kube manje.” Ngisho noma abashadile bekwazi ukuhlala bethembekile, lokhu kungagculiseki okubangelwa yimithambo yegazi kungabenza babonane ngandlela thile njengenye insiza ye- “Hamburger Helper.” Impela, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abashadile bavame ukutholana okucasula kakhulu uma beshadile. (Umphumela weCoolidge ubonakala kakhulu ngemuva kokuphela kwesibhamu sabathandi se-honeymoon neurochemistry, ngakho-ke abathandi abasha bakholelwa ukuthi banamasosha omzimba-njengabantu abangenalo uthando olwanele.)
Ukugqugquzela okufakelwayo
Eminye imibhangqwana ibhekana nalolu hlelo oluyisidina ngokushaya i-dopamine isebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile noma ukwenza imicabango yocansi nabalingani bayo ukudala `` kwesokudla '' kwemood. Kuzona zozimbili izimo, bazama ukukhohlisa ubuchopho ukuthi sekufike ithuba elisha lokukhwelana. Abanye baphakamisa i-dopamine yabo ngokudala imizwa enamandla (njengasebugqilini), noma ngokushintshanisa abalingani. Kodwa-ke, kungakhathaza ukwenza ukuhlela ukuqhuma kwe-dopamine ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ufuna ukwenza uthando. Futhi kwenzekani lapho omunye umlingani efuna "ukulungiswa" kwesasasa lezocansi kanti omunye engakulungeli ukutshala umzamo ongaka, noma ukusebenzisa ingozi ehlongozwayo, ukuze uthole injabulo?
Ngabe sidalelwe ukuvumela i-biology isenze singabi nokuthula? Kokuthunyelwe okuzayo sizobheka inketho esetshenziswe amasiko ahlukahlukene kuwo wonke umlando: indlela yokwenza uthando esiza ukunqanda ukujwayela. Kususelwa emcabangweni wokuthi ukuqeda isifiso sethu sobulili kuvame ukusheshisa Umphumela weCoolidge ngokusibeka ezimfuno eziphindaphindwayo zokuqhuma kwe-dopamine ukulwa nezikhathi ze-dopamine ephansi eyenzeka ngokwemvelo ngemuva kokusuthiswa ngokocansi. Lokhu kusivimba ukuthi singene emoyeni.
Lapho amazinga e-dopamine engashayeki ngokuzulazula okukhulu, ubumnandi obucashile bungabhaliswa njengobumnandi obumangazayo — futhi abalingani bavame ukugcina ukucwazimula kwabo. Ngakho-ke, uma i-Coolidge Effect ingena inyunyana yakho, ungethuki. Ungahle ube nezinketho obungazange uzicabange.
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