"NgoJove, kungumjikelezi womvuzo!"
Ilungu elizinikele leklabhu “kulowo nalowo ngokunambitheka kwakhe”, nginenkululeko yokukhuluma. Kodwa-ke, iwebhusayithi yami kwenzeka ukuxoxa nge ukuphakama nokuhlukumeza ngokocansi maqondana nokuphakama nokwehla komjikelezo ojwayelekile wokulutha. Kwangimangaza (futhi nokwabo, ngineqiniso), amadoda avela emhlabeni wonke angena my Iforamu yesayithi ekhononda ngokulutha kwezocansi / ukushaya indlwabu.
Ekuqaleni kwakubuhlungu ukufunda izindaba zabo. Laba bafana babelokhu bexoshwa-ngenxa yabalingani abaningi abalingani ukuthi ubuchopho babo obuyimbumbulu babonakala njengamathuba obufuzo. Ngokuchofoza nje, enye inoveli "mate" Ubuhlungu bokusizelwa ukuthi busizakale — futhi uhlelo lokukhwelwa kwabavakashi bami olwalungazi lutho, futhi lwakuqala lwalunqume ukungashiyi noyedwa ongenamvalo. Eqinisweni, lapho bezama ukuyeka, babhekana namasonto okuqala okukhulu, nokuguquguquka kwezimpawu zokuhoxa:
Umfana wokuqala: Usuku lonke ngiye ngizamazama nge-jitters efana nendlela engizizwa ngayo lapho ngiyeka ukubhema.
Umfana wesibili: Izimpawu zami zokuhoxa? Ukuqhuma okukhulu kwentukuthelo okuholela ebunzimeni bomuntu siqu, isimilo esinolaka, kucindezeleke kalula (anginakho okuhlangenwe nakho ukubhekana nezwe ngaphandle kwalesi sobho se-post-orgasmic sedation), umbono wokuzibulala, ukucindezeleka okukhulu, amaphupho anobudlova (ngikujabulele ngempela lokhu, kepha abanye kungenzeka cabanga ngabo njengamaphupho amabi), ukuqwasha, ukubona izinto ezingekho (ngigxume embhedeni ngikhala ngoba ngezwa "ubukhona"), "izinambuzane" zingigqaqa embhedeni, ziyaqhaqhazela, imania (amandla angaphezu kwamandla ami okuwasebenzisa ngendlela eyakhayo), nokungakwazi ukugxilisa ingqondo.
Umfana wesithathu: Nesithukuthezi? Ukushaya indlwabu. Uthukuthele? Ukushaya indlwabu. Kuyadabukisa? Ukushaya indlwabu. Ucindezelekile? Ukushaya indlwabu. Ngisuke ekubeni owokuqala ekilasini lami ngaya ezansi impela, ngaze ngayeka unomphela. Ngithole umsebenzi weWebhu, ngenza imali enhle nge-porn yami ngokuchofoza okukodwa. Lokhu bekuyimpilo yami, futhi angibonanga ukuthi nginomlutha kuze kube yilapho ngihlinzwa futhi ukushaya indlwabu bekungeyona inketho yezinsuku eziyishumi nanhlanu. Ngosuku lwesithathu, ngangithuthumela ngokoqobo, futhi ngaqala ukuhlanganisa amachashazi. Ezinye izimpawu: ukucasuka, ukungakwazi ukugxila (“ukugqolozela izindonga syndrome”), ukushintsha kwemizwelo, ikhanda (kwesinye isikhathi liqinile), ingcindezi ezithweni zami zangasese, ukubuyela emuva, ukuphambana, ukucabanga okuzinqobayo, ukudangala, ukungabi nathemba, nokwesaba ukuthi Angisoze ngaya ocansini ngoba angizange ngifunde amakhono wezenhlalakahle kusukela ngangena ezithombeni ezingcolile eminyakeni eyisishiyagalombili edlule ngisemusha.
Ngiphinde ngezwa: “Noma ngabe nginama-orgasms amangaki, angikaze ngizizwe nganelisekile; Ekugcineni ngivele ngivele ngikhathele ngikhathele, ngiphinde ngiqale ngakusasa. ” “Ukuze ngehle, ngidinga okweqile ukuthi mina ungalokothi ngangizoyibuka ngaphambili. ” Ngikhathazeke kakhulu noma ngicindezelekile, futhi nginesifiso esinamandla sokugwema abanye abantu. ” “Uma ngizama ukuya ocansini nomuntu engithandana naye, ngi ayikwazi ukuthola ukwakhiwa. "
Abaningi babengenayo imvelaphi yenkolo, futhi kancane kancane ngabona ukuthi izingxoxo mayelana necala, isimilo, ukucindezelwa ngokocansi, ukuxhashazwa, nenkululeko yokukhuluma ikakhulukazi ziseceleni. Kulula impela, laba bantu babelahle ubuchopho babo ngamakhemikhali. Kungenzeka kwenzeke kunoma ngubani-futhi mhlawumbe bekuzokwenzeka kimi ukube bengingowesilisa. Ngaphandle kwalokho, abesifazane basengozini ubuchopho bomzimba, futhi.
Imisebenzi yamadoda yayiqondakala nakanjani, kepha ushintsho emjikelezweni wobuchopho babo lwalukhe lwabaphuca inkululeko yabo yokuzikhethela. Babexhunyiwe.
Njengoba uBurnham noPhelan bachazela Isingeniso Sokuqala: Kusukela Ezocansini Kuya Emalini Kuya Ekudleni, Ukuhlambalaza Izimo Zethu Zokuqala, imvelo yethu iguqukile, ishiya imivuzo yethu yakudala, engazi lutho isengozini kakhulu. Kusebenzela izakhi zethu zofuzo ngaphambi kwethu, ngakho-ke lapho ibona “abalingani abasha”, ingasikhuthaza ukuthi singayinaki inhlalakahle yethu… bese siqhubeka nokuvundisa. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma singazibandakanyi nemivuzo eyanele yokuphila: ukuxhumana okunobungane nokuthinta kothando.
Ukukhushulwa ngokweqile komjikelezi womvuzo kuyinto ingozi. Ingozi akuyona izintende zezinwele noma ukungaboni. Kuphela kusitimela esinejubane elikhulu, ukuzama ukuhlala ngaphambi kwezimpawu zokuhoxa. Izinjabulo ezijwayelekile — izinto ezilula ubuchopho bethu obukhula kuzo — kancane kancane zilahlekelwa amandla azo okuzijabulisa. Isazi sezinto eziphilayo URobert Sapolsky wathi:
Ukuqhuma okungajwayelekile kwe-synthetic isipiliyoni kanye nokuzwa kanye nenjabulo kuphakamisa ama-degrees ajwayelekile wokuhlala. Lokhu kunemiphumela emibili. Njengokuqala, masinyane asikwazi ukuphawula ukuhleka okusheshayo kokujabulisa okubangelwa amaqabunga ekwindla, noma ngokubheka komuntu ofanele, noma ngesithembiso somvuzo ozayo emva komsebenzi omude, onzima, futhi ofanelekayo. Umphumela wukuthi, emva kwesikhathi esithile, size senzeke nakwezinye izici zokuzikhandla. . . . Inhlekelele yethu yukuthi sivele sibe yindlala. Okuningi futhi ngokushesha futhi kunamandla.
Noma ukuziphendukela kwemvelo kusibumbe njengezilwane ezincelisayo ezihlanganisayo ukuthola ubudlelwano bunomvuzo, imivuzo yabo ecashile, enempilo ayikhiqizi ukukhuthazeka okungaphezulu kwamahora wesithombe esicacile sezocansi - ikakhulukazi hhayi njengoba sithothisa izinzwa zethu ngobuningi baso. Kungenzeka ukuthi sidinga ukulingana kwangaphakathi ukuze impilo ingabi namandla kakhulu, kepha ngaphezulu ukujabulisa okuthakazelisayo ukubhalisa njengokuthakazelisayo.
Kulezi zinsuku, ukulingana kunzima ukukugcina. Uthanda noma ungathandi, ukugqugquzela ngokocansi okwedlulele namuhla njengento engabhekana nazo izinhlanzi zethu zokuzingela ezigidini zeminyaka yokukhula kobuchopho. Impela, kwakukhona i-harem eyinqaba, futhi amantombazane asemhumeni ngokungangabazeki ayemuhle. Kepha izithombe zabo ezisabekayo azizange zishintshwe emoyeni, zivezwe kuso sonke isikrini, futhi babubula ngokungaphezi ngokunikela kwesidoda.
Ngokusho kukaHoward Shaffer, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseHarvard, “ukulutheka kakhulu kuwumphumela wokuhlangenwe nakho. . . ukuphindaphinda, umuzwa ophakeme, imvamisa. ” Futhi njengomcwaningi wesikhathi eside wasePrinceton UBart Hoebel uthe,
Izisusa zobulili ezinamandla kakhulu [kanye nokudla okunambitheka kakhulu] ukuphela kwento ekhuthazayo ekwazi ukusebenzisa uhlelo [lobuchopho] lwe-dopamine nanoma ikuphi eduze kwamandla wezidakamizwa eziluthayo.
In Ubuchopho Obushintshayo, isazi sezifo zengqondo uNorman Doidge ubonisa ukuthi,
Ukuba umlutha kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ze-intanethi akusona isingathekiso. Konke ukuluthwa kuhilela ushintsho lwesikhathi eside, kwesinye isikhathi lokuphila konke, lwe-neuroplastic ebuchosheni. … Ukwanda okufanayo kwe-dopamine okusithokozisayo kuphinde kuhlanganise ukuxhumana kwe-neuronal okubhekele izindlela zokuziphatha okusiholele ekufezeni inhloso yethu. (amakhasi 106-8)
Izindaba ezinhle kule ndaba zinikeza ubufakazi obuningi bokuthi umvuzo ugcwele ngokugcwele kwaba inselele yalaba bafana. Njengoba ngangilalele ngozwela, ngizizwa ngingenalusizo, abanye babo bagcina sebenze indlela yokubuyisa ubuchopho babo ukuze balinganise. Kancane kancane, baphindelela. 
Izinto ezazivulela, zazivuselela ngaphandle kwezidakamizwa zokuthuthukisa ucansi. Balahlekelwa ukunambitheka kwabo ngezinto ezimbi kakhulu. Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka kwabo kwancipha. Imizwa engafanele yokudangala nokuzisola ikhuphukile. Ukuzijabulisa nokulindela kwaqhakaza. Baqala ukudlala ngothando. S yaboi-elf-esteem ithuthukisiwe. Eqinisweni, baqala ukujabulela ukuxhumana nabantu ngokuvamile-ngisho noma beyeka izithombe ezingcolile njengezinsizwa ezinamahloni.
Indlela yabo yayingelula, kanti abanye basalokhu behluleka. (Funda ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ku Umgwaqo Wokudlula.) Labo abaphunyukayo babonakala bedinga mayelana nokuhlehliswa kwezinsuku ezingamashumi ayisithupha ngosuku lwe-orgasm kanye nokugqugquzela ngokocansi ukuqala kabusha umvuzo wabo wesifundazwe. Ukusekelwa komphakathi kusize kakhulu, ngoba ubuchopho buyitholile futhi buvuza. Kusho oyedwa (obani manje onothando):
Ukuhoxiswa, njengoba kuvela, kwakunzima kune-cocaine, i-opiates, i-booze, noma i-nicotine. Ngichithe isonto eliqinile ngikhala njalo ebusuku ngemuva kokufundisa eyunivesithi. Ngangingalali, futhi ngangicishe ngingenamdla. Umcabango wokuphola wangenza ngafuna ukusonga ngibe ibhola.
Kodwa ngilapha. ngizwa khulula.
;
