Hannergrond: Ech hu méi wéi 100 Deeg gemaach ouni zréckzekommen. Ugefaangen PMOing ier ech ejakuléiere konnt. Ech sinn elo 23. An entweder Junior Joer oder Senior Joer vun der Lycée, Ech war PMOing eemol am Dag all Dag direkt ier ech schlofen bis e bësse manner wéi engem Joer dat war e Joer nodeems ech College mat engem Bachelor Ofschloss Diplom.
Wann ech net direkt kéint schlofen, géif ech stonnelaang opbleiwe kucken P dann MOing bis ech ageschlof sinn. Wann ech gewosst hunn, wat PMO mam Gehir mécht, wéi ech méi jonk war, hätt ech et direkt do an do erofgelooss. Schued ech hat keng Ahnung.
Ech hat Frëndinnen ier awer keng géif méi wéi ee Mount daueren an ech sinn ni laanscht déi zweet Basis komm. Ech denken et ass well se just riwwer about the PMO…also what years of PMO has done to my brain. Yeah, it’s probably because of the latter but I can’t be sure.
Differenzen vu virdrun nofap bis elo:
- I’m a little bit more aggressive when I actively flirt with girls. I haven’t been doing that recently because I haven’t been sleeping enough and I can’t flirt when I haven’t gotten my full night of sleep.
- Girls stopped being smokin’ HAWT and became prettier. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess its a different type of attraction.
- I fantasize about girls differently. Before it was just sex and what I would do to them but now I think about spending time with my crush and going on adventures with her. Really, I just think about having fun and wanting to share that moment with her or anyone else. Like if I go to a new ice cream place, I wonder what it would be like if she was there with me. I sometimes think about kissing her after a date right before I dropped her off at her house and I would get an erection. Thinking about just kissing would have never gotten me hard two years ago. I also fantasize about asking girls out on a date and how I would do it.
- I exercise everyday. The Xs on my wall calendar represent days with no PMO AND days that I work out excluding Sundays because that’s my rest day. I’ve been clean on that streak too. My reason for going to the gym was because I wanted to impress my crush but now its just a part of the day that I need to do.
- I don’t get depressed as often as I did. I still get sad but not as frequent and not bad.
- Manner neurotesch. Ier ech ofhalen, géif ech iwwerdenken alles wat ech gemaach hunn wann ech ronderëm eng grouss Grupp vu Leit waren. Wann ech net op eng sozial Saach invitéiert ginn, ginn ech rosen an traureg well ech net invitéiert war an iwwerdenken firwat ech net invitéiert ginn. Elo ass mir just egal. Ech géif nach gären op en Ausfluch invitéiert ginn, mee ech denken net esou vill drun.
Rotschléi:
- Übung. Ech hu vill Gewiicht verluer andeems ech an de Fitnessstudio goen. Ech mengen ech erof 30-40 Pond zanter Mäerz 1. Et kläert Äre Kapp a mécht Iech erstaunlech Gefill no. Hëlleft och wann Dir wëllt zréckzéien well Dir rosen sidd.
- Kale Duschen. Net sécher wat se fir mech maachen, awer ech hunn eng Rëtsch Leit gesinn, déi se luewen, also hunn ech beschloss et ze probéieren. Et fillt sech super. Ech hunn elo ëmmer eng kal Dusch, ausser ech kommen aus der Keelt eran a muss mech séier waarm waarm ier ech krank ginn.
- Sot "An dann wat?" wann Dir wëllt zréckzéien. Dëst huet mir op mengem éischte Mount gehollef. Ech géif en Drang kréien an ech géif mech froen "an wat dann? Wat geschitt duerno?" Meng Äntwert wier ËMMER "Näischt. Ech kréien näischt draus awer ech géif sou vill verléieren "
- When I would think about a P scene in my head, I would imagine crossing my arms to form an X and place that image above the P scene and I would automatically think of something else within 2-5 seconds. I don’t know why it works but it works for me. I still do that when my mind goes rogue.
Hurdles in chronological order (dates unknown):
- Wanted to test out if I was “healed” after about a month of no PMO so I looked up some erotic pictures for less than 60 seconds and closed out. No MO.
- For about a week I would touch myself right before falling asleep on my bed to get an erection but stopped as soon I was hard then fall asleep. Not sure why I did that. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count as edging but I’m not certain. I stopped doing that.
- “Tested” myself again by looking up erotic pictures but like last time, closed out after less than 60 seconds. No MO.
General things
- I learned more about myself during this 100 days than ever before. I thought I needed to travel the world by myself like in the movies to have a soul search but its cheaper to just stop fapping and take that time to just think about yourself. Not having brain fog helps a lot.
- I’ve got a more positive outlook on life.
- Ech hunn engem vu menge beschte Frënn iwwer nofap gesot wéi hien mir gesot huet datt hie virun ongeféier 2 Méint un Depressioun an ED leiden. Hie schéngt manner depriméiert ze sinn. Ech weess net iwwer den ED well ech him net doriwwer froen.
- Dat ass et, ausser ech kann spéider un aner Saachen denken
The whole experience was amazing. I gave up something I thought I needed just to gain so much more. Best trade ever.
tl; dr Dëst ass mäin éischte Post op reddit. Ugefaangen PMO um oder virun 12-13 Joer al. PMO all Dag ze schlofen. Propper fir 100+ Deeg. Frot Iech selwer firwat d'Relapsing et wäert ass. Et ass et net wäert. Dir verléiert sou vill a kritt absolut näischt. Ech hunn sou vill iwwer mech selwer geléiert an ech si méi glécklech. Ech sinn och e bësse méi muskulär well ech elo all Dag an de Fitnessstudio goen.
LINK - First post on reddit after nofap for 100+ days.
by MintGum
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