2.5 years ago, when I found out I cannot get an erection despite having a hot naked girl in front of me, I read several posts on this forum, learnt what to do and then just executed on this. I want to write this post to help other people, because I do know how desperate it feels when you find out you have PIED, in particular the question in my mind – “will this ever be fixed and when?”
Wou ech ugefaang hunn
Virun ongeféier 2.5 Joer sinn ech mat e puer Meedercher an d'Bett gaang a konnt keng Erektion mat hinnen kréien, obwuel si waarm waren. Fir d'Saache kuerz ze schneiden schlussendlech keng vun den üblechen Erklärungen huet et fir mech geschnidden. Ech sinn bei den Dokter gaang, si hunn erausfonnt datt ech iwwerduerchschnëttlech Testosteronniveauen hunn (Ech hu Gewiichter 3 Mol d'Woch opgehuewen, ganz fit, gesond iessen, etc.), ausser ech hunn dëse Forum an dem Gary Wilson seng Videoen op PIED fonnt. Ech hunn et net ganz gegleeft, awer ech hunn de PIED-Test gemaach, deen ech iergendwou ernimmt gesinn hunn: Wärend ech keng Erektion mat Meedercher konnt kréien oder masturbéieren, hunn ech probéiert nach eng Kéier Porno ze kucken (ech hat net 2 Méint virdrun) an ech krut eng schwéier Erektion ganz séier.
Also meng Conclusioun war datt wann ech nach ëmmer net sécher sinn iwwer PIED, de beschte Wee vun der Handlung war ze iwwerhuelen datt et ass wat et ass an déi recommandéiert Léisung ze verfollegen - de Restart.
Wat ech gemaach hunn
Ech hunn gefollegt wat ech heiansdo hei als "voll Neistart" genannt hunn:
- Kee Porn, net emol plakeg Meedercher, keng Fotoen vun Spaltung, esou Saachen, déi eenzeg Situatioun, déi ech gesinn, wier am richtege Liewen wann ech soen an engem club
- Kee Masturbatioun
- Am Ufank hat ech wéinst menger Carrière manner Zäit Meedercher ze treffen, awer mat der Zäit huet dat geännert an ech hat d'Chance op Datumen ze goen a mat Meedercher ze schlofen. Fir d'éischt, well mäi Vertrauen um Buedem war, hunn ech benotzt Cialis. Ech hunn et als net recommandéiert op de Forumen hei ronderëm gesinn, awer éierlech gesoot wanns de net vill hëlt, dh z.b. 5mg maximal eemol oder zweemol d'Woch huelen, net all Woch, just heiansdo, ech mengen net datt et esou e Schued.Ech mengen et huet mir gehollef am Sënn fir mech z'erméiglechen Sex ze hunn ab Rock-bottom Vertrauensniveauen.
- Wann Dir mengt datt d'Meedchen sécher ass / keng Sex mat ze vill Kärelen hat, denken ech et schued net ze probéieren Sex ouni Kondom (vergewëssert Iech datt hatt d'Pille natierlech hëlt). De Grond ass datt, op d'mannst fir mech, Kondom e groussen Ënnerscheed mécht. Sex mat engem Kondom ze hunn deemools huet mech geduecht "Firwat soll dës Sex Saach agreabel sinn?". Sex ouni Kondom ze hunn war ganz anescht. Elo hunn ech Sex mam Kondom ouni Probleemer, awer trotzdem mécht et e groussen Ënnerscheed - et fillt mech vill manner a vill Mol kann ech fir ëmmer domat weidergoen, woubäi ouni et normalerweis net besonnesch laang dauere kann.
Wou ech elo sinn
No 2.5 Joer fänken ech un mat engem Meedchen ze kussen an ech ginn Rock haart. Et ass egal ob ech midd, schlofen, wat och ëmmer, ech hunn 0 Probleemer elo eng Erektion ze kréien. Ech hat ni geduecht datt dëst méiglech wier awer et ass. Ech sinn amgaang ze schlofen, awer wann ech meng Frëndin heiansdo ëmklammen, kréien ech nach ëmmer onfräiwëlleg eng Erektion.
Wat Dir maache musst ass Porno a Masturbatioun opzehalen, keng Ausnam. Et ka schwéier sinn (irgendwéi war de Pornobit net ze schwéier fir mech), awer et ass méiglech - et ass eng Fro vun der Disziplin!
therealgilgalad asked: ↑
1) Wéi al sidd Dir? Kënnt Dir eis e bëssen iwwer Är Porno Benotzungsgeschicht soen ...
2) Wéi laang huet et gedauert fir 100% geheelt ze sinn, oder mengt Dir Iech selwer 100% geheelt?
3) Kënnt Dir e puer Mol am Dag Leeschtung?
1) Ech sinn elo 28 - also hunn ech ugefaang wéi ech 25 war. Wat d'Geschicht vu Porno benotzt, hunn ech ni sou vill gemaach wéi ech gelies hunn a Fäll wou d'Leit et e puer Mol am Dag kucken - ech géif et eemol am Dag kucken vläicht 5 Mol pro Woch, fir wéi 20-30 Minutten. Awer dëst war meeschtens datt déi grouss Majoritéit vun normaler Porno mech net um Enn géif ophalen, ech wier wuertwiertlech egal vu Sex. Also am Ufank hat ech kee Problem net Porno ze kucken. Elo ass et anescht - ech muss wierklech disziplinéiert sinn an et ass schwéier, awer d'Verzweiflung, déi ech duerchgaange sinn, an d'Vertrauen, déi ech hunn iwwer d'Erektion sou einfach ze hunn wéinst net Porno gekuckt oder masturbéiert ze hunn, hält mech wierklech weider.
2) Elo fillen ech mech definitiv geheelt, ech kann Erektion kréien all Kéier wann ech ufänken souguer meng Frëndin ze beréieren.
3) Re e puer Mol am Dag sinn ech - tatsächlech sinn ech elo vu menger Frëndin fort a wann hatt besicht dann hu mir Sex normalerweis all Moien an Owend e puer Deeg hannereneen. Ech wollt e puer Mol an der Nuecht testen awer éierlech wéinst der Aarbecht no der éischter Kéier sinn ech wierklech midd.
LINK - From total desperation to perfect erection
by Behemoth
INITIAL POST – 30 MONTHS EARLIER:
OK I am going to try to keep it short, I just tried to include at least in a cursory way most things that are relevant.
I am 25 and basically up to like a couple of months ago I had never had sex before, mostly because I was always very career-focused and sexual urges were just annoyances to get sorted out quickly so I can go back to work. Over the last year I changed job back to something more normal to get my life back again.
When I was about to have sex for the first time 3 months ago I didn’t get the erection. At the time I had been taking Sertralin/Zoloft for a couple of months, plus I had a bit of wine, so I put it to that. The thing is, in later attempts over the following three months, I have taken out all the possible external culprits (SSRIs, since I don’t really need them anymore, alcohol, …), and without Viagra/Cialis I would not get an erection good enough for penetration except once.
I went to the doc, they checked my blood, sad all was OK, including my testosterone levels, and gave me some Cialis on the assumption it’s probably just performance anxiety and those pills will help me overcome it.
Well the thing is I doubt it’s just performance anxiety because having a more detailed think about it I don’t really get (erection-wise) aroused in most situations that guys (including me when I was 17-19) would normally get aroused.
And it takes me like 10 minutes of masturbating to get my goods reasonably hard when alone, and it’s almost impossible to get off without imagining either a scene from porn (up to 3 months ago) or one of the very few and short successful experiences I’ve had with one of the girls I’ve been with (either the short times inside them or just the things we did & their bodies).
So I figured it got to be porn-induced and hence how I end up here. I was watching porn from maybe when I was about 17, but not with the heavy frequency many people describe, and definitely not addicted. Most of the times I would watch it maybe 6 to 7 times a month, and to be honest, another 10 times a month I’d masturbate imagining the scenes I saw (gave me less guilt & saved time).
My question/worry is – do you think my problems with getting an erection are actually porn-induced? I am really not sure because when I read most posts on this forum, as well as most stories on yourbrainonporn.com, people typically mention they masturbate to porn at least once a day, if not more, and after like 3 or 4 days of no porn and no-fap they feel really strong urge to relapse that they have to fight.
I am not at all like that. In the year up to 3 months ago I was watching porn less and less, maybe 2 or 3 times a month at most. 3 months ago after I had my first attempt at real sex I cut the porn off completely, including masturbation to mental images from porn (and up to now I have been masturbating maybe once or twice a week – sometimes still to the mental images from porn, but over time less and less as I replaced them with images of the real girls I’ve been with).
So now my plan is not to watch any porn ever again and in the next 2 to 3 months no masturbation either. But I really can’t identify myself with the stories most people write which include such strong urges to watch porn or at least masturbate after like a day or two. I haven’t seen porn for 3 months, don’t feel the need to see it, and haven’t masturbated by now for a week and only feel a very slight urge to do it, no big raging thing…
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