[Akụkọ: 10 ụbọchị] Taa bụ ụbọchị m 10th nke abstinence si porn na masturbation na m na-enwe mmetụta nke ọma banyere ihe niile. Amalitere m oge a nke ịgbagha mgbe m gbasịrị mbọ n'oge gara aga, otu n'ime ha gbasara ụbọchị 23. Oge a, karia mgbe ọ bụla, echere m na enwere m mkpebi na njide onwe onye iji weghasị ọgwụ ọjọọ a ma megharịa ya nke ọma.
I am a 19-year-old male and I am not a virgin. I have had sex on 2 occasions. However, both these times I struggled to get a firm erection, and when I did, I didn’t last very long.
This was obviously due to the way in which I had trained myself to masturbate to porn and not perform with real women.
N'oge gara aga enwere ọtụtụ oge mụ na ụmụ agbọghọ na-akpakọrịta ma ha gwara m ka m gaa ebe 'jụụ' ma ọ bụ kwupụta na mụ na ha nwere mmekọahụ na echiche nke ịgbalị inweta ụlọ (dịka m mere na 3 oge gara aga) mere ka m zere mmekọrịta nwoke na nwanyị a, ọ bụ ezie na ọ ga-amasị m inwe ike ime ya! Ọ dịghị ihe dị njọ karịa ịnọnyere nwa agbọghọ ma dinara ya ebe ahụ, na-ele anya mara mma ma dịkwa njikere maka inwe mmekọahụ, yana ịnwa ịchụpụ onwe m naanị iji nweta ụlọ nrụpụta siri ike maka inwe mmekọahụ. Ọ na-eme ihere ma na-akụda mmụọ maka onwe m na nwa agbọghọ ahụ! N'oge m, ọ naghị adị ka nnukwu ihe dị ka m na-eme onwe m agụụ mmekọahụ ma na-ele egwu egwu, na-ewepụta onwe m, mana enwere m akwa ụta banyere ya ugbu a ma na-eche n'ụzọ ụfọdụ dị ka atụfuru m ohere ịnweta enwe mmekọahụ na ụfọdụ ụmụ agbọghọ na-ekpo ọkụ n'ezie n'ihi agụụ mmekọahụ a. Adị m naanị afọ iri na itoolu ya mere amaara m na a ga-enwekwu ohere mana enweghị m ike ịche ma 'gịnị ma ọ bụrụ?' otutu oge. Naanị m na-atụ anya mgbe m ga-agbanyeghachi kpamkpam ma m mabao ohere nke inwe mmekọahụ na ụmụ agbọghọ na-ekpo ọkụ, na-enwe ntụkwasị obi na obere enyi m ga-enwe ike ịrụ ọrụ ya na-enweghị mgbochi ọ bụla!
Mgbe onye ọ bụla nke ndị a na-ezute mmekọahụ m dara ala ma zutere ụfọdụ nsogbu nchegbu, nke m ekele jiri merie. Nke a malitere m na ụzọ mgbake. Enwere m mmetụta nke ukwuu karịa onwe m na enwere m ọnọdụ uche ka mma. N'ihi nke a, oge a, echere m na m nwere ike imeri egwu egwu na masturbation maka opekempe 10 izu iji hụ na m zuru oke.
Agaghị m eweda onwe m ala ma ọ bụrụ na m daa, ebe ọ bụ na mgbalị ọ bụla bụ otu nzọụkwụ dị nso na ebumnuche kachasị. Otú ọ dị, enwere m obi ike dị ukwuu na oge a enwere m ike ime ya ruo ugbu a-na-egbochi ụbọchị ole na ole mbụ ịkwụsị - agbamume m akwụsịla. Ana m enwe "flatline" frasi. Ọ na-adị mma ịnwụ ebe ahụ ugbu a. Agbanyeghị, amaara m na nke a bụ akụkụ nke usoro mgbake ma adị m njikere inwe nkụda nwa oge, dịka na nnukwu atụmatụ nke ihe ọ ga-eme m ebe m chọrọ ịnọ.
N'oge gara aga, enwere m ọtụtụ mgbalị n'ịkwụsị ịkwa iko na mgbochi onwe ya, ma n'oge a, m na-edezi ma na-egbo onwe m ahụ n'enweghị ihe mgbochi, nke doro anya na ọ bụ igbochi usoro m. N'agbanyeghị nke a n'oge ụbọchị 23, enwere m mmetụta dị mma ma hụ mmezi ụfọdụ. Oge a, n'enweghị akwụkwọ ọ bụla, ọ dịghị emegharị onwe ya na ọ dịghị ihe ọ bụla, mgbe naanị ụbọchị 10 gasịrị, ọganihu m yiri ka ọ ga-abịa karịa nke ọ dịtụla tupu ya.
[Ụbọchị 16] Taa bụ ụbọchị 16 nke m izere agụụ mmekọahụ na masturbation na ọ na-adị m ka m na-awụli ihe mgbochi site na ịgafe oge 14, n'ihi na nke a bụ isi na enwere m ọnwụnwa ịlaghachi. Enwere m ike taa, n'ụzọ anụ ahụ na n'uche, ọ na-adị m ka abstinence amalitela inwe mmetụta dị mma na omume m niile. Enwere m mmetụta nke inwekwu obi ike karị na ịsụkwu ọkụ mgbe m na-akparịta ụka. Okwu ndị a na-apụta n'ire m kama m na-eche ha ma na-achọ ịgwa ndị mmadụ okwu dịka m mere n'oge gara aga.
N'ihe banyere ka abstinence si M + P metụtala m n'okpuru, m ka na-enwe mmetụta nke ịnwụ ala ebe ahụ na enweghị enweghị mmetuta ma ọ bụ mmetụta. Ma n'ụtụtụ a, m dinara ebe ahụ wee nwee mmekọahụ gbagoro m n'isi wee malite ịmalite ụlọ siri ike. Nke a emebeghị kemgbe ogologo oge! Echere m na ọ nwere ike ọ nwere ihe ọ bụla jikọrọ m na ịnọ jụụ n'ụra m mana ọ bụ akara ngosi na-agba ume n'agbanyeghị nke ahụ.
Anabatabeghị m nrọ nrọ maka abalị 4 n'otu oge ugbu a, nke na-atọ m ụtọ n'oge ọ bụla m gbochiri m inwe ihe dị ka nrọ 5 na ụbọchị iri na abụọ. Ugboro ole ọ na - adị ala ka m na - aga n’ihu. Ọbụna mgbe m rọrọ nrọ ahụ ọ dị ka ọpụpụ zuru oke ma emesịa, enweghị m nkụda mmụọ, agbanyeghị na m ga-eme onwe m agụụ mmekọahụ. Amaara m na ọ bụ nke m na-achịkwa, ọ bụ naanị ahụ m na-anwa ime mgbanwe maka mgbanwe ọ na-aga.
Oge ụfọdụ a na m ahụ onwe m ka igwe na-agba m, ana-atụkwa m anya n'akụkụ ụfọdụ nke ụbọchị. Amaghị m ma ọ bụrụ na nke a gbanwere n'ụbụrụ m, mana ọ bụ ihe ijuanya, dịka m na-enwetụbeghị mbụ. Ọnọdụ mmiri ozuzo ndị a na-adịkarị obere, agbanyeghị, achọpụtara m na mgbe m na-amụ ihe ncheta m, ọ dịla obere ka ọ dị obere. Dịka ọmụmaatụ n'abalị ụnyaahụ, emere m ọkara awa nke nyochagharị iwu, na ụtụtụ a, ọ bụ n'isi m, ebe n'oge gara aga, echefuru m ihe m mụrụ ma wee nwee nkụda mmụọ.
[Ụbọchị 28] Ya mere, taa na-egosi izu 4 n'efu na Porn, Masturbation na Orgasm. Obi dị m ezigbo ụtọ na m jisiri ike nweta oge a n'efu. Agbanyeghị, anaghị m ezu ike na ngụkọta a; Achọrọ m ịga n'ihu ma gbalịa ịga ogologo oge m nwere ike na-enweghị Porn na Masturbation iji hụ na ịmaliteghachi. Naanị ezigbo nsogbu m nwere na izu 4 ndị a, nke nwere ike belata nwayọ ọganiihu m, bụ nrọ nrọ mana agbanyeghị m nrọ na-enweghị isi na enweghị isi na-echegbu onwe m maka ihe m na-agaghị enyere.
Izu 4 agafeela ọsịsọ. Echetara m ịnọdụ ala ebe a na-agụ ndị mmadụ akwụkwọ ihe dị ka izu 2 ma chee, "Chineke, nke a yiri ka ọ dịruola mgbe ebighị ebi." Ndị mmadụ na-ekwu na izu agbaala kemgbe ha kwụsịrị PMO, enweghị m ike ịghọta ebe ha si abịa. Agbanyeghị, izu abụọ gara aga agafeela m. Bọchị 2 nke 1 bụ nke siri ike karị, ebe m bụ onye na-enweghị uche na onye na-ejighị ya na agbamume dị iche iche na agụụ na-apụta mgbe m meriri ọgwụ ọjọọ a. Agbanyeghị, amatala m ha amaara m otu m ga-esi mesoo ha ma hụ na ha emetụtaghị m.
N’ụzọ ụfọdụ enwere m ọchichị. Mgbe m dị afọ iri na itoolu, echere m na ọ baara m ezigbo uru na achọtara m weebụsaịtị a wee mata ihe kpatara nsogbu mmekọahụ m. Echere m na m ga-akwụsị PMO maka ihe ọma ka m wee nwee ike ịlaghachi n'ihe kachasị mma ma nwee obi ụtọ na ihe ga-abụ ụfọdụ n'ime afọ kachasị mma nke ndụ m na agụụ mmekọahụ zuru oke na ụdị nnwere onwe na-adịghị akwụ ụgwọ m na-efu maka afọ ole na ole gara aga.
Izu a karịa nke ọ bụla ọzọ, amalitela m ịhụ mgbanwe ndị dị n'okpuru. Ụbọchị 3 mbụ ahụ ọ dị ka ọ bụ ihe niile gbasara mmelite na ụdị m: inwe obi ụtọ, enweghị nchekasị na obi ọchị na enweghi ihere na ọtụtụ ọnọdụ. Mgbanwe ndị a na-atọ m ụtọ, obi dịkwa m ụtọ na enwere m àgwà ndị a ugbu a ka m na-eche na m bụ onye ka mma.
Otú ọ dị, ezigbo mgbanwe m chọrọ ịhụ bụ mgbanwe anụ ahụ dị n'okpuru iji gosi m na m malitere ịgwọ site na m na-ezere PMO. Maka ndị mmadụ na-agụ ihe a nwere ike ịbụ izu nke abụọ ruo ogologo oge ma nwee agụụ ịhụ nsonaazụ, a ga m asị gị, “Biko nọrọ ebe ahụ gafere. N'ezie, o ruru ya! ”
Izu a amalitere m iguzosi ike, ihe siri ike m na-ahụbeghị kemgbe ọtụtụ afọ, naanị site n'ịhụ nwa agbọghọ na-ele anya na-ekpo ọkụ ma na-eche na ya na ya na-akpakọrịta ma ọ bụ naanị site n'ịchụ nwanyị. Ana m ebili kpamkpam n'okpuru ma enwere m obi ụtọ banyere ya. Nke a anaghị eme oge niile, mana ka ụbọchị ndị m na-aga na-esiwanye ike. Ọ bụ ihe na-atọ ụtọ ịhụ ụdị ihe ịrịba ama nke ọganihu. Kwa ụtụtụ n'izu gara aga ma ọ bụ ya mere ejiri m osisi ụtụtụ siri ike teta, ọnwụnwa imetụ ya aka ma ọ bụ igwu ya egwu na ụbọchị ole na ole gara aga adịla ebe ahụ. Ma, agbalịrị m igbochi ya.
Mgbe ụfọdụ, m na-eche ma m kwesịrị ịdị na-egwu egwu dị ka m nụrụ na ị ga-ezere ya maka mgbake kachasị mma. O yiri ka o siri ike izere kpamkpam. Mgbe foto nke ihe nkiri porn gara aga abata n'isi m, m na-eche ozugbo otu nnukwu akara nkwụsị ọbara ọbara, nke na-ewepu ha. Otú ọ dị mgbe m na-eche echiche banyere ihe nkiri na ụmụ agbọghọ ndị m ga-enwe ike ịnọ na ya, M mgbe ụfọdụ na-echere ha oge. O yikarịrị ka m ga-enwe obi ụtọ n'ụdị okwu efu. Otú ọ dị, enwere m mmasị ịmara ma m kwesịrị izere ya kpamkpam ma ọ bụ ka ikwe ka echiche efu nke mmekọahụ nwee ike ime.
Ihe niile m na-enwe ezigbo nchekwube banyere ahụmịhe niile na-alọghachi ugbu a na enweghị m ike ichere maka izu ndị na-abịanụ iji nweta mmụba ndị ọzọ n'elu nke bụụrụ m ezigbo izu.
[Ụbọchị 29] In the past I’ve always looked at girls as though they are objects simply for sex and I’ve found it hard to get intimate with them as I feel it’s forced or I’m just doing it to impress my friends and not myself. This is different now. I genuinely want to talk to girls and flirt with them for my own enjoyment and to establish genuine relationships with them. [To another guy] I totally understand what you say about feeling like girls know you’re an addict! Wow, that was the same for me. It’s almost like some girls just knew I was a shell of the man I could be. I used to feel like some girls were almost laughing at me at parties as I was shy and awkward in conversation. But now I feel a sense of fullness and masculinity that seems totally different and my confidence is attracting more girls.
I’m not bragging at all but I am a very popular guy. I won prom king at my school and I have loads of close friends who consider me to be a funny and loving guy to be around, as well as plenty of interest from a few girls most the time.
The thing is, deep down I haven’t felt like this all the time. It’s been a kind of show to cover up how I felt at points. But since abstaining, how I feel inside matches how I feel outside, and it’s such a great feeling.
I suffered from health anxiety 2 summers ago and now I know it was down to my excessive porn use and masturbation. It was hell for me but at least we’ve found the problem now and I can easily fix it by abstaining from PMO for a long period of time. It’s a small and unselfish sacrifice to make that’s absolutely essential if we want to live our lives as the guys that we were meant to be before we became embroiled in the addiction.
I think the main thing to ensure is that we stay patient and give our bodies as much time as they need to heal. I know what you mean about wanting it to hurry up. A few weeks ago I felt like that, but the improvements in horniness and erection strength seem to be coming to me now and it’s great.
[Day 52] Had a HUGE wet dream last night, probably the biggest I’ve ever had. Not sure why it happened, but lying in bed prior to going to sleep last night I had some of the firmest erections I’ve ever had. They were rock solid! This dream was different to earlier ones, as in it I actually had sex with a girl I know and it felt so real! I was genuinely enjoying it until I woke up and realised that it had all been a dream! In other wet dreams I always ejaculated before having sex with a girl or ejaculated in an embarrassing situation. So perhaps this shows my brain feels like it’s ready to actually have successful sex with someone.
If the chance to have sex with a girl did crop up anytime from now on I would certainly do it as I feel confident enough, and have the urge to have sex with a real girl. I don’t really plan on having sex with anyone but if it happens then all the better.
[Day 69] Went out last night with my friends and had a great time. My confidence was there. I didn’t care about what anyone might think about my actions, and just went out with the intentions of having a really good night.
Before going out we were all having a drink in my friends house with a few of his friends from work whom I’d never met before. Some of my friends seemed a bit awkward and reserved around these guys as they’d never met them, but for some reason I just introduced myself and had a great laugh with them. They seemed to find me hilarious. In situations like this in the past I’ve often found myself being the one who sat quietly for a while not knowing what to say. But this wasn’t the case last night, and with everyone I met there was no awkwardness whatsoever. I was having good conversations with everyone I talked to. I even sat down with a tramp for half an hour and gave him £5!
I seemed to have a really good aura about me last night. Girls wanted to be around me, and were dancing and hugging me a lot. My confidence must have been attracting them. Managed to hook up with a girl I know as well. I thought of her as only a friend but out the blue she just took me off and told me how long she’s liked me. We were kissing. It was nice yet unexpected!
I got the feeling that I could have easily pulled a few girls if I’d gone for it. However I didn’t feel like going out my way and looking for it as I was having a good time doing what I was doing. In terms of my arousal through the night I didn’t really feel much down below which is probably down to the drink, but whilst kissing the girl I just had a really good feeling and wanted to keep kissing her as it felt so good. She was a bit shy about kissing in public so I toned it down a bit. Haha.
Jikọ - michael91 [These are entries from his blog posts]
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