Ua leiloa la'u faitauga (ua mavae ni nai masina) ma o le na'o le mafaufau o le fafao ua na ona ou ma'i ai i aso nei. E le mafai ona ou mafaufauina ua ou toe foi i ou ala tuai. E le aunoa.
O mafaufauga lava o:
- Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.
- The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you’re a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You’re a beast.
- The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You’re somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.
- The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn’t pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.
- Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.
- Ma o lena UIGA ass feeling when it’s all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It’s the worst thing ever at this point.
- Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking “What the fuck”. You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO’d. Video games are your friend- they don’t judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.
- You can’t look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can’t go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can’t imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a “vagina” instantly means you must fuck it.
- Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they’ve no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes… And then realise you’re a pathetic fuck who hasn’t got the balls to do either-
- And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.
NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I’ll never return to this endless cycle of misery.
Ma ou te faʻamoemoe oi latou o loʻo i ai iina o loʻo faitauina lenei mea e mafai ona fesoʻotaʻi ma oʻu aafiaga, ma vaʻai i tusitusiga pe faʻafefea le faʻanoanoa o le gauai atu i nei faʻamalosi. Vaʻai ma ou lava mata ma aʻoaʻo mai i oʻu aafiaga e uiga i le auala o le PMO o le olaga ua naʻo se faʻasolosolo i lalo. Ma maua i totonu ia te oe lava e aumaia oe lava mai lenei lua o le pogisa.
E matua le aoga lava a ea? Aua le fa'aumatia lou taimi taua, puupuu i lenei lalolagi. Ola i le atoatoa, ma ola lelei. E leai ni avanoa lona lua.
Ou te moomoo ia te outou uma mea sili.
EDIT I didn’t actually watch Pedophile/ Beatial pornography, they were fantasies I started conjuring up in my head when even the extreme end of porn didn’t satisfy my “urges”.
LINK -
You get to a point in your NoFap journey where PMO seems fucking disgusting.
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