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ED Recovery Stories 8
Submitted by admin on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 08:08
The following "ED recovery story" pages contain shorter accounts.
For longer, more detailed ED accounts see
I've known my situation for about 8 months now. I started nofap because of PIED and I'm trying to get rid of it. Funnily enough my twin brother had the PIED too we just never really talked about. We laughed about how if we just mentioned it to each other we could have started this a lot sooner. Well 8 months later he took a more proactive approach and is now cured, he now has sex like 4 times a week.
I myself endured multiple relapses and am still pushing through. I'm officially on 30 days even though my counter doesn't say that. The thirty days have been somewhat challenging as I haven't had any wet dreams or nothing like that. I will say my confidence has improved. Yesterday I DM'ed a girl on twitter just randomly held a convo and some light flirting later I got her number and will meet her up this weekend.
I'm gonna try for sex and see what happens. If I get dead dick I just know I have to go longer. Either way I have my brother as proof this shit works. I won't fail this time.
This works! And i can tell you, i relapsed so many times, i never managed to last a month of no pmo-ing. I still am not where i should be, but i definitely feel a great change. When i started, i coudn't even get hard on porn. That is how i was addicted to porn and how masturbation and watching porn had become a daily habit for me, not something i did because i was horny. I also feel generally more confident. I want to flirt with girls. I want to be more attractive. I want to be a better basketball player. I want to go out and have fun and party hard. It is really something that will change your life. Just be confident, patient, never forget the fact that you are an addict, that you will not have a normal sex life if you don't do this, but when you pull throw, you will be a better person.
To experiment a little, i tried touching myself yesterday and i got an erection, no problems, it wasn't at 100% but it was at 90%. I decided to masturbate. No porn, no imagination, nothing. It was great. I can't remember when was the last times i enjoyed masturbation and the orgasm that much. I have no chaser effect today whatsoever and i am still getting spontaneous erections when i am flirting with the girl i am supposed to go out. I told her yesterday after masturbating that i was thinking of her, and she told me she blushed. I got hard immediately in that moment. Its something that hasn't happened to me in a long time. I feel happy, confident, and i think my no PMO journey is finally coming to an end. I have to admit, it is one of the hardest things i did in my life, especially since this forum was the only support i had throughout these 6 months of abstaining, relapsing, abstaining, relapsing and so forth. I think my story should be an example - it doesn't matter if you relapse, the only thing that matters is to keep going and be persistent.
This thing can be cured. I was hopeless when i started, heavily addicted and plagued by ED problems. Now everything is changed. I feel like a better person after this ordeal.
I too discovered this site about a month ago. After no porn for a month, I found myself able to maintain much better erections in bed and i enjoyed sex so much more. I can't quite quit fapping but I tend to only do it once or twice a week now, after a 5 day build up or so I feel like a sexual predator. Unfortunately I've relapsed recently back into porn for the last week, so back to day 1 now.
September 2011 was my last time of PMO, and my discovery of yourbrainonporn. Since then i've come a long way, with ups and downs (mostly ups lately!) and I haven't done any PM and only O with my girlfriend. It's amazing how true yourbrainonporn was, and what it has done for me.
At the start i was suffering from porn induced E.D., now most of the times i get an erection easily, sometimes without my penis being touched even and with just caressing of the body. I had never thought that possible before!
With this i come to a small problem i still have. Today I made love, after about 2 weeks of not doing any sex, and I did get hard pretty fast, but then we talked for about a minute or so before the actual deed, and I was losing my erection while I knew I would soon 'do it'. Why am I, after 10 months, still not completely cured and sometimes lose it a bit? Before today, for the last few months, this hasn't happened I have to say.
Besides that the most important question: I notice that my 'urge'/libido before i would do PMO was bigger as my 'urge'/libido is now with my girlfriend. My libido was higher for PMO then for actual sex, even though I have more pleasure when making love to my girlfriend.
In my head i go over the differences; I could do PMO for a longer time, do exactly what I liked, there was no possibility of a 'no', no performance anxiety, and I have to say that sometimes after we do have sex, my girlfriend and I get into an argument after going over the details because she wants to know my progress (i don’t know if this is a reason i still get nervous and no libido). On the other hand; I now have more pleasure when having sex then in the past with PMO...
Does anyone recognize this? or maybe knows what is going on?
PS thanks to Marnia and Gary for their site, and to theunderdog for starting this forum!
I actually remember having this discussion in my college health class 10 yrs ago, and agreeing w the argument that pornography can desensitize you during actual intimacy. But I was 18 at the time and my dick would get hard if the wind blew the wrong way. So naturally I figured I had nothing to worry about. I started watching porn when I was 10 years old. My dad always had tapes around the house and my best friends dad practically had a library of porn. It was very accessible. Then the internet came along and amplified that accessibility.
Now I'm 28, and I watch it almost every morning. It's practically my morning ritual to wake up & jack off to porn. And just like 1 guy said in his comments, it's almost impossible for me to jack off w/o porn. When I was young I could just use my imagination, but that does nothing for me anymore. For about the past 2 years I have noticed that during intimacy I have a tendency to lose my hard-on if I'm not constantly changing positions, or engaging in something different than what we were just doing. At first I thought that it must be the condom that was desensitizing me, so I literally went on a quest to find the perfect condom.
Hey gang, names nick.
Just introducing myself as I'm new to this forum. I discovered ybop a month or so ago and was so relieved! I thought there was something seriously wrong with me and finding out that there are other guys like me out there makes me feel better. I'm 23 and had my first bout of erectile dysfunction a few years ago and have had shattered confidence since! I was going to make appointments with urologists, i was sooo scared i didn't even know what to do. Because without my dick, i don't wanna live!!! Lol i fell into a depression before my ed started from a long-term breakup. I started watching porn every night and jacking it alot. It got to the point where even when i was with a smokin hott chick, i couldn't stay hard. It got worse lately but have been pmo'ing for at least 8 years. Thank god i found ybop because i became INFORMED. I think there needs to be some serious awareness regarding this stuff among young men. I'm already feeling better down there and actually fucked like a champ the other day! Lol Thanks again guys and see you around.
(Age 50) I was mostly an erotic story porn user. I stopped three months ago, cold-turkey. My actual machinery works very well these days. Erections happen quickly and last a long time, compared to the old porn days. I'm pretty much always ready.
I'm on Day 141 of no PM. I had successful sex last weekend and it was a positive experience. I never really had ED problems, but I did have delayed ejaculation problems, weaker erections, and all of the low confidence/lack of focus stuff. I feel like I still need to rewire (I'm thinking I'm probably going to need a consistent partner) but I feel mostly healed. Sex came very late at night and after a long day of drinking and I noticed that my erection wasn't as hard as I would like it to be. That was understandable, I was still extremely sensitive, my recovery time was good and it was a good experience for both parties. Right now, I feel 85-90% even after close to 5 months.
The reboot process works like charm my progress has been improving rapidly.
Wish i can explain it better. Started January relapsed after 1 month (experimenting relapse with PMO) and the result was clear it set me back. Then after additional 1 month relapsed to just MO, and it didn't set me back like PMO did. Now 1 month and some days extra (3 months plus in total) I am getting erection spontaneously at least not 90% used to be 80% last week or so. And when i watch mild romance or kissing in a movie scene instantaneous erection (this was not possible b4 even with regular porn; it had to be hardcore for me to get excited then. Right now i believed i am cured but I doubt because i am improving every week. Anyway my goal is to hit 6 months. I plan to abstain 100%. I have built the tolerance to avoid relapse and it was by prevention. Only use my phone to check emails and use PC for strictly Home works and watching espn3 and so on.
I am on a great diet plan so i bet that helps too. I almost took supplements but i quit after a week or so in order to be sure that my progress is intact. Morning wood is occurring more frequent. This thing works as far as am concerned. For some people having anxiety u have to completely relax – do not put too much stress on urself b4 sex. Pretend that u are trying to please the chick or something and not urself this will help reduce the anxiety. I know it is tough but my earlier problem was semi erection during sex or even b4 because my condition now is 50% better then. So anxiety wasn't an issue and i will not let it get me bcos it can actually become a problem. Also some people are afraid of getting a chick pregnant and when they want to perform their fear will definitely catch up with them. U must think positively. I will update next week.
Hi all, I want to give you an update about my journey so far. I'm 90 days into the rebooting process now with no porn, no masturbation and a few orgasms from sexual intercourse.
It's all getting better now. The first days I was extreme horny without the possibility to have an erection, but then this all faded away and I slipped into the flatline.
Then the nighttime erections gradually came back and I realized a single wet dream.
Two days ago I had wonderful sex with no pressure at all, I have to admit I used Levitra but I'm pretty sure I don't need it. But it gives me some confidence I would need at the moment.
I didn't had a full boner when having foreplay, but it was easy to get one with a little help and lube, and then it was very hard and long lasting, also I had very good feelings and absolutely no pressure. I didn't had sex for two weeks before this and I thought I would not be able to last long because of this, but I lasted really long and it was very satisfying for the both of us.
I think the true rebooting began later because I had thoughts about porn that were hard to fight, I don't have this thoughts or fantasies any more now.
The nighttime erections are a bit weaker now and don't appear every night, but I think this is because I smoke a lot of cigarettes again since three weeks - I will stop this weekend.
I write this go give those interested confidence for their rebooting travel. I believe this is possible and a lot of things are already better.
Reddit NoFap - A little over 5 months since I stopped watching porn
I came back to this subreddit to check in and see how things were going. Happy to see the large number of fapstronauts, and even more happy to see there is a TED talk that discusses the effects of heavy PMO abuse.
In the TED talk, they mention for younger guys that it can take up to 5 months to fully reboot, as opposed to the older generation who didn't start on internet porn in their brain's formative years.
I was disappointed, but then logged in and checked my counter. I'm over 5 months. This gave me a huge shot of confidence. I've been avoiding talking to the girls I like mainly because I feared I wouldn't be able to please them when the time came. After my 90 days, I did begin to M every now and then, but have not seen a single video of internet porn since Day 1.
I am no longer afraid to approach the women I am interested in out of fear of malperformance. This is a huge step for me, and it has taken me quite a while to get here.
I wish you beginners and mid-rebooters the best of luck. The grass truly is greener on this side of the addiction, and I feel better about myself now than I have in the past 5 years.
Reddit NoFap -Girlfriend Asked Me if I Took Viagra - Post Porn ED
Just wanted to share since it made me feel pretty awesome and will give others some inspiration hopefully. After spending most of the attempts to have sex in the last 7+ years not being able to get it up because of porn induced ED I'm finally feeling normal.
I'm enjoying having good sex with my new (and first serious) girlfriend at the age of 21. Been having sex with her a few times now and recently I was having sex and was focusing on not cuming. Every time I was about to I would change positions or slow down, but kept focusing on not cuming. I feel like I went for 40+ minutes and probably even more, giving her multiple orgasms until she couldn't take it any longer (got to admit, it was hard to keep it in me).
After we finished she asked me if I had taken viagra or anything like that, which was a pretty awesome thing to hear after struggling with ED for my entire life. I told her that I'm trying not to cum because of the draining effect it causes and would rather try to not come when posible, which also keeps me extra horny and ready to go for her.
In the end, that didn't last too long as we had sex in the morning and I came, but nonetheless, I'm happy with where I am now and she is totally fine with me trying not to cum for my reasons.
In the end, I'd like to say that anyone who is struggling with porn induced ED to keep at it and don't give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, don't beat yourself up if you reset here or there, just accept it and get back on the path to being the person you want to be.
I think it's great to nofap but I damn sure question not even wanting to cum during sex. Being able to have a healthy sex life is sort of the whole point to me. Regardless, good job.
I agree. The thing is that orgasming during sex is normal and healthy, which is why you don't feel drained or depressed afterward. Fapping is solitary, not physically active, and usually makes you long for things that aren't real, leaving you feeling inadequate and unsatisfied.
I am in my 4th week of rebooting. At age 60, I was long time porn user, as much as three times a day. My wife was feeling insecure and I was feeling self loathing. I has been a journey of hope to find that my wife helping with my addiction. Last week I was spontaneously aroused with foreplay to a solid woody and me both enjoyed the powerful time it gave us, and the knowledge of future wonders.
From Reddit - First one night stand with no ED
First I should say that I've done 90 days already. I'm a 23-year-old male and in the past have had many opportunities to have sex with very attractive women and always failed to get an erection. It appears that things have changed. Not only did I have sex successfully with no problem, but I was also completely drunk. I've always had problems getting hard when drunk, even with SO's.
Social anxiety and bs negative thinking ----> out with the trash. How do you learn to be more emotional, lol??
Sensitivity and motivation rises like the sun without falling like the moon. Erection with girls....-Massive- Can even self-induce while thinking about girls in winter clothing. Motivation for working out, going out, ability to take care of dorm cleaning, laughter, smiling, positivity a result of training other than abstinence, no. Ability to sleep like a baby and wake alert without caffeine stimulation (though I do indulge in coffee due to the beneficial acquired taste).
Its hard to ignore the correlation between all these harmonious benefits and the strict PMO abstinence.
From Reddit NoFap - Hope for anybody who is flatlining, my 116 day perspective
Hey guys this is my first post on NoFap, I'm 22 and have been a lurker here for some time now discovered your brain on porn (YBOP) late December and from then on have been rebooting since the 1st of January. Had tried in the past to give up fapping and porn but failed. I realized I was addicted to both and they were having a negative effect on my life. I told myself I was destroying my youth and with a strange inner resolve gave up completely and without much struggle.
Porn had also effected my relationships with women and I have experienced ED a couple of time in the past because of it. I'm a good looking guy and never had trouble with getting girls but as soon as things got hot and heavy I would lose my erection. This destroyed me emotionally I felt i'd lost my manhood and my life.
10- 15 days into no fap I had a huge surge of energy and zeal for life. I couldn't believe how beneficial no fap was, but then after about 3 weeks in came the flatline. My libido went to zero and to make things worse women we all over me, I had so many opportunities but was afraid to act upon them and even turned them away because I was afraid I wasn't fully recovered. Low libido is really a horrible thing it was terrifying, I felt asexual for a long time. I experienced wet dreams nearly ever week during the reboot first they were about porn but then they changed to girls I knew, which was a good indicator of recovery. Between day 60-70 I decided to give it a shot with this girl but my sex drive was still very low ended up only getting head in the end because she was on her period. The flatline continued I was quite depressed because of it but I kept going I knew I had to fight on.
Around day 97 I fapped no porn involved no chaser effect etc. Decided to fap once a week after that and let me tell you guys my libido returned like a fuckin rocket! couldn't believe it and it wasn't for porn it was for the girls that had been around me all the time. I feel like a animal now ha! I lost my fire in life because of porn but now its back and its INCREDIBLE! I ended up with with another girl on day 104 and ED wasn't an issue at all just did my job like all the men on the earth who have lived before me! Listen guys its a tough struggle but keep going its worth it in the end but you guys will find that out for yourselves soon enough. Thanks NoFap and YBOP
36 year old male recently divorced. When my wife left me, I wasn't ready for it and I missed her terribly. I had urges that I wanted gone, like wanting to still have sex with her. So I turned to PMO. Well I jerked myself into oblivion. Suffered from all the symptoms. ED pills even stopped working. My life sucked. I was depressed but I could never put my finger on the problem. Visited psychiatrists and urologists. No one had the answer. So when I saw others in the same boat as me, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew right away I was an addict. Fast forward to today. Today is day 38 of no PMO. My friends, this process is the truth. My life has changed in every way imaginable. The fog has lifted and I'm so focused its ridiculous. No more depression, no more anxiety, music sounds better, I'm even stronger in the gym. I feel inclined to tell you all this because it's not an easy road but the end result is amazing. It hasn't even been 60 days yet, which is my goal. Stay strong. The motivation to have a better life keeps me from relapsing. Nothing worth having is easy and this is no exception. Trust in the process and you will be so happy you did. I promise.
When I visited yourbrainonporn it was after reading a related article on psychology today website. The whole puzzle of having erection mostly for porn and expectations of porn kind of seduction from my wife fell into very understandable jigsaw puzzle.
My first question was how long does reboot take. I went on for two months. The process even has had a dramatic benefit to my personality. I am less shy, I am more confident and active. However it eventually took me 3 months instead of usual 2 months and I am happy to say my married sex life has turned over its head to become just fantastic. I find my wife much more attractive as a result of this and no longer want her to emulate porn actresses.
I must add that other than rebooting I also found on the site advice on one other helpful thing. That was death grip for masturbation. This too had been a major issue for me. I had always used death grip for masturbation and it had resulted in real sex not providing the same level of stimulation.
After stopping that my penis is I think hundred times more sensitive.
I think together these two things really helped me turn around to a fantastic sex life. Thank you all for suggestions and thanks for the great website.
Luckily it only took about 7 weeks for sufficient recovery, though I was able to get a full erection earlier than that. Any time I come across porn (the Internet is a weird place), it does nothing for me. My girlfriend definitely turns me on, and I was able to successfully have sex (though my sensitivity is really high and I didn't last long). All in all, I feel more confident in myself, though anxiety is still a personal hurdle. At least I covered the main bases, and meditation may help further.
In general, I have a lot more spare time. With porn it takes up so much of your day, but without it you find that you might have too much spare time. Time enough to get a new hobby, or appreciate your loved ones more. I know that relapse is always a possibility, so I need to continue to be careful. In general, I'm pleased with my progress, all I need to do is work on sensitivity and nervousness.
EDIT: Meant to say this, but I've been busy. My sex drive is pretty high, which isn't a bad thing. And I've learned that it's okay to look at an attractive woman or other things the Internet has to offer (nothing pornographic though), the body isn't evil. It's when you think "yeah, i should just search..."then you need to stop. Recovery reaches a golden point, then it's maintenance and trying to just enjoy life.
(Comments - Older guy with lots of sexual experience who recovered faster than normal)
30 year old here, I am writing with a success story and hopefully can inspire others. I won't bore you with my history, because we all follow pretty much the same path. Daily M, and P watching, problems in bed, from staying hard, to even getting it up to delayed Os. I've had these problems for most of my life, except for the times where I've had a steady girlfriend and wasn't watching as much P.
Currently I am dating two girls, so this is re-booting with partners. Sex was once a week with each girl, so of course in the between time I'd PMO daily. 3 weeks ago I had such a tough time staying hard that I knew I was in trouble. It finally hit me. Scoured the YBOP website and decided to abstain immediately.
First week was fine, except for occasional fantasizing, which is as dangerous as actually watching P. After a week, I had sex with one of my partners and my intention was to no O at all. Well, I was so hard, and almost ejaculated vaginally, which hasn't happened to me in years, that I finally Oed. Only once.
A couple of days later I was with my other partner and the same problems came back. I knew I need to abstain for as long as I could. End of second week, relapsed with M, but no P or fantasy, which I think helped. Well after 3 weeks I feel great, morning wood is starting to come back, I am actually turned on by real sex and real women and can stay hard long enough to finish a woman several times (think 45-60 minute stretches). I feel great overall.
Some things that may or may not have helped. I started supplementing with ginseng, multi-vitamins, fish oil and protein shakes with amino acids. I read that they help regenerate important amino acids and such. I also would slap on moisturizer on the head and shaft to soften the skin and bring back sensitivity. I think all of this may have helped me recover faster. Especially the sensitivity that came back in my dick has been amazing. I can actually ejaculated when having vaginal sex, rather than have to masturbate after penetration.
If you have any questions, let me know, I will try and help as much as possible.
LINK - thomaslewis May 20, 2012
Hey it's easy. Stop beating off so much and your **** will be back to normal buddy.
You're talking to the living breathing example of this. Used to be addicted to foot fetish porn and couldn't get it up for actual sex. You have no idea how embarrassing that is. Then I got into a situation where I couldn't look at porn for a month and a half, and couldn't beat off either. I took it as an opportunity and rarely bat off. I think I did it like 3 times in a month and a half period. HOLYYY SHOOTTT, was waking up rock solid erections. It was like the old days again!! I'd have to focus all my energy into making it go back down because it would HURT!! MAN!! I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVERRRR!!! Then I stopped beating off and looking at internet porn :)
They say masturbation is okay, and doctors even encourage it. The truth is, masturbating is NOT okay. It should be considered a LAST RESORT option. When you beat off, you deplete your sexual energy, and this trickles down into many aspects of your life. Just like buddy's dad says in American pie: "it's not a game"
From a forum:
I'm 45 years old. I kicked PMO cold turkey around Dec last year.
You said, "The difference in my sex life has been dramatic and for the first time in 12 years or so I'm getting sustained erections without touching. I feel like 16 again!"
I feel pretty much the same way not 16 but maybe 21 or so lol. I have not relapsed but I will admit I've had some pretty intense tests of my will power. I still experience periods where I flatline I feel completely dead down there. Other times I feel like I felt in my 20's I try not to dwell on it as to not give my self a complex about it.
I promised myself that I will save it for the women. I do not have a steady GF at the time, so its really hit and miss. But when I do stumble upon some action I'm not consumed worrying about if I can raise the flag. The alone keeps me on the right track.
I have not masturbated or viewed porn since I started my reboot process. I'm very happy with the new me.
Well, this is the furthest I've ever made it.In the past month I've started seeing a smoking hot new girlfriend. I don't think that has anything to do with nofap, but I have seen improvements with my ED.
I'm not fully pleased with how it's going, but I have to be realistic here. I was dealing with barely being able to get hard at all for girls in the past. Now I'm able to get hard when I have sex and that is such a huge relief for me.
It isn't where I'm getting random hard-ons all the time, but all I care about is when it comes to having sex.
I'm dealing with PE a bit probably because I'm not fapping, but it isn't every time I have sex. This morning I had sex and the PE was pretty bad. I only lasted a few minutes. The sex feels incredible though. So many more sensations that I was used to when fapping all the time. I've also noticed that I'm having ridiculously huge loads!
I think the biggest thing for me is that I'm able to get hard for her. I was so worried about that. I was going to take that for granted and focus on the PE I sometimes experience, but I need to stop and remind myself that before I started nofap I would often not even be able to get hard for sex.
It's definitely all the encouragement I need to stick with this and see where it goes. Hopefully it continues to improve and I never again have to deal with ED ruining my sex life.
264 days after giving up PMO.
I have not had any incidents where I was unable to obtain and maintain erection during sexual activity.
Sometimes I mentally get a little doubtful of myself being able to get erect without issue, but I contribute that to years of struggling with erection issues. The doubtfulness is going away.
Hi guys, just wanted to pop in and share my experiences with something not many people are doing. First some background: I'm 27 and I've had only one gf, but plenty of casual sex partners, I'm not big on the commitment part. I had ED some years ago but managed to shake it off somehow. My problem in sex has always been not being able to orgasm with my partner.... came only a few times inside a girl (and never with a condom, which I considered impossible), the rest was "manual". Another problem I was not aware of at the time was that I didn't stay 100% hard throughout the sex, but at the time I thought it was normal.
I thought the solution lies within finding a regular sex partner (aka girlfriend) and then a good friend showed me /nofap about 2 months ago. I've never been a big porn guy, so giving it up has been easy for me, 2 months clean now :) However, I tried the NoFap road but couldn't handle it past 7-10 days. The brain fog I get at that point where I want to just stick in into any girl that walks was too much, to the point that it was affecting my ability to work. If I had regular sex I'm sure it would be easier, but since that is not the case I have been sticking to one, maximum two faps per week, and never to porn.
So I just finished off a 3 day fuck marathon with one of my girls (first sex since I started all this) and the results are in:
1) I get hard fast and stay fully hard until the deed is done. I had no idea what I was missing or how hard I could get!
2) I am now able to orgasm inside and together with my partner, in any position... and yes, even with a condom.
3) I recuperate much quicker after sex and I'm ready to go again both mentally and physically. Before it used to be that I had a brief period of literally hating the person I just had sex with until things went back to normal in my head. Very weird, but glad I don't have this anymore.
So there you go. I'm not here to make conclusions, but I thought it would be useful to share my experiences and hopefully help someone achieve the same goals as I have.
As for me, the next goal is finding a nice girl to enjoy regular sex with and keep cutting down on them faps.
NoFap is the way. I've been doing NoFap in hard-mode, and the main reason was ED-problems (though I see now how porn really fucked up my life). I've tried to have sex three times for the last one and a half year, with only one moderately successful hard-on.
Yesterday I had sex with a girl and I had no problem getting it up, I was a little worried that the condom would explode when I came, but that didnt happen either fortunately:) I had some DE problems on the second run, but I guess thats OK.
Just wanted to share my little success-story with you guys. Stay strong and horny
Well, it has happened a lot. It has been almost three month since my last blog entry. (LINK TO POST)
First I have to say to Marnia,and all other members: Thanx, your support means a lot to me, and second: REBOOT WORKS GUYS!
All you need is loving partner,trust and patience. My gf and I stopped PMO addiction together,quitted phone sex,and started having,good and passionate sex. The result? The baby is on it's way, and we 're getting married in two month.
Problems? Well, guys reboot is ongoing process and it takes time to gain confidence. A week ago I went on the porn site and I started thinking: "What is this crap, it is not a true sex, what do I needed this for anyway?" And I went of the site, and installed porn blocker (MetaCert), because man is weak and needs help to avoid a "just one peek "situation, to win an addiction. I remember one day,a whole day of sex,I think I orgasmed 13 times. Sometimes, thoughts like: "Will it get up?" emerge the surface, but they vaporise in the passionate sex.
Few days ago, I had wonderful sex in the morning and in the night I couldnt get it up. Perhaps I was exhausted from multiple sex every day, perhaps my head is full of wedding preparations pressure, perhaps I felt that sex was something I have to do, a task that I have to perform, which I did not.
Sex is about relaxation and enjoyment,not a task and reboot is a process that takes time and it has it's ups and downs, but the main thing is: REBOOT WORKS.
Hey guys, I thought I'd contribute to the ever growing scientific research community of NOFAP, lol. I got into this because I was experiencing ED with girls while having sex, and also severe delayed ejaculation. I could pretty much only cum if I jacked off with a strong death grip; getting off inside a girl was almost impossible for me.
My tipping point for getting a handle on this was when I was with this really cute Japanese girl; I had never had one before, so I was excited to fuck her, but I just couldn't get hard. I had to think about porn, and even as she was riding me, I just felt soft at best. I was like screaming at my penis inside my mind -- wtf is going on??? But yah, needless to say -- she was very much disappointed and pretty much resisted any future advances for sex again (even though we still hung out once in a while).
After that, I began reading up to see if anyone else had the same problems as me, found YBOP and then this community. I decided to join the movement, and it's been 27 days so far. I deleted my porn collection, threw away all my toys and I keep myself busy with gym and work to take my mind off sex.
Here are some of the things I noticed during the last 4 weeks or so:
Week 1: - First few days, you don't really think much of it - 4-5th day - you crave porn - but it's kinda mild so you can fight it off
Week 2: - Depression starts to hit in - like you think about how you're alone and you're not where you want to be in life yet - You start really wanting to watch your porn -- like half my days were consumed with me wanting to PMO but really fighting myself to resist and read NOFAP for motivation. I read a lot of your guys' stories - which were kinda similar to mine, so I felt encouraged to stay away - I cemented everything by deleting my porn, by day 12 or so (that was a huge step - but once it's gone, it's gone - and you can't go back) - To circumvent my depression, I made goals for myself and reorganized my schedule so I could better achieve them
Week 3: - I continued to feel pretty depressed, but I kept myself busy with going to the gym and focusing on work (like actually learning stuff, doing my job instead of wasting time - trying to be a better achiever). - I also went out more, using Meetup.com and finding parties on Facebook to go to, to meet new people. - I also worked at Starbucks more (instead of home, I freelance) so I could be around people and not feel lonely/isolated - I started hitting up women online more seriously (before I'd just give up at the first few rejections) -- like my game was better, even though I was getting blown out a lot, I didn't let the rejections phase me, and eventually got 2-3 numbers from semi-cute girls.
Week 4: - I'm waking up daily with massive hard-ons. I feel tempted to MO, but I don't (it's super hard to resist just touching though -- but I keep myself from turning it into full on edging. If anything, I'm just more admiring how nice it looks, lol) - I have several dates lined up for the weekend -- but I'm needy as fuck, and I feel as though I might scare my girls away by being too needy for sex - I really, really want sex -- it's weird, because before with porn, I wouldn't really care if I got laid or not. Now it's like a serious DAMN BRO, when are you gonna get laid thing that bothers me whenever I'm alone or without some work to do. Talk about HARD MODE. - As a result though, I've been super persistent on the online dating sites, really pushing for more dates -- at least one a night. So far I've only had one date, but the girl wasn't that attractive in RL, plus the logistics sucked. Better luck next time? lol.. - I also am approaching girls more in the day -- I opened girls at Starbucks, then at a mall -- so far got one number with this HB German, but she flaked later so I'm still trying to work it…
Pros to doing this: - I'm becoming more persistent. I think that's a good thing, because I usually didn't care before or was pretty unmotivated in life. - Even though women give me a lot of bullshit, I feel like I can weed the ones who suck out faster and not waste my time -- that's actually a good thing, because I'm finding ones who are cool much faster.
- This keeps me from becoming one of those cynical misogynist types -- u know the ones who spend all day on the Internet hating on women and everything else?
- I feel like I'm actually setting goals for once and meeting them.
Cons to doing this: - You become needy as fuck -- which scares off women. However, you can overcome this and make your game even better than before. (I also think you become more honest too with your intentions -- like your intent is clear from the start so she feels it too) - You could literally spend a whole day in depression -- be prepared to 'throw away' a lot of days - I would NOT recommend NOFAP to anyone who is in the middle of a serious project at work or school; the stress will probably destroy your grades or career lol. You need a lot of time to dedicate to this and just to go through the whole emotion.
- I got through this because I'm able to clear out my whole schedule and just focus only on 3 things in my life: 1) Freelance Work 2) Gym & 3) Ladies. If you have more than that going on -- it may be difficult.
TL:DR - NOFAP is HARD. You will cry a lot and seriously question your life. But in the end, if you are someone who wants to succeed in life -- you'll find a way to survive and come out stronger.
A quick context first so you can check if you relate or not : 33 yrs old guy, married, 1 child, 2 PIV per month and before starting nofap ~ 2 faps per week.
I reached 90 days today and I'm amazed by the results, but maybe not in the usual way :
I wanted to start nofap for 2 reasons :
- to get rid of physical problems (PE and ED, both issues raising more than age should have after a long disease 3 yrs ago)
- to try not to stress my wife too much about the need for PIV. We have very different sexual needs and I was hoping that reducing Porn usage would also reduce my needs.
So far, I was following this sub to find out motivation, advices but without being an active part of it.
And this summer, I got extremely busy to the point were I "started" nofap without deciding it. Around day 15, I made this a commitment instead of a situation I was "suffering".
Now, after 90 days, I can say that ED were very probably caused by porn addiction (I wouldn't have used this word 3 months ago, but now with some distance, I think it's appropriate) as it disappeared progressively, with first results around day 20 and a "full" recovery around day 50.
Regarding PE, no luck :( One PIV were much longer than usual (ie > 5 minutes) to the point were this were painful for my wife who were not used to this anymore. I thought this was the beginning of healing but no, just a lucky one.
The most positive part was the "journey", not the goal in itself. I rediscovered the spare time that was lost in watching porn and fapping. I couldn't realize how much I were losing in this. My mentality also changed in that my sexual needs indeed lowered, up to the point that my wife would ask for sex, which was the first time in years.
The "journey" was also looking at all of the posts in this sub, seeing people managing to reach their goals, others faling with or without regrets, but always with a positive attitude. Seeing so much motivation from a large group was also a source of motivation in my life.
So, what now ?
I think I understand better how I "work" and I will probably now live something inbetween the nofap experience and my previous behaviour knowing that I could always restart a nofap diet if needed.
So, faptronauts, keep going, it's worth it. That's not the miracle solution to all your problems, but for me, that solved some.
TL;DR: nofap experience fixed my ED but not my PE; it lowered my sexual needs and made me rediscover my spare time. I'll stop now but might do it again later.
Stats: 24 yo, Single, but have had sex 4 times since starting
Started 42 days ago w/ 1 restart
Started beating of at 10 yo, porn ~11, damn HBO
Goal: Doing NoFap to re-stabilize my libido and cure the two biggest issues to my confidence with women, PE and ED
------ OK, now that I've gotten that out of the way-------
I have been revamping my life for the past couple of months and No Fap has become tied with Seduction for the most important piece of it. I have always struggled with ED and PE. I have never been able to use a condom due to the "suffocating" sensation of lack of horniness. Then my flaccid penis would dribble out and bing, bang, pop, the girl is so confused and I'm demoralized.
Well fapstronauts, I can say as of the past two weeks that has gone away! I have had sex with 4 different girls over the past 2.5 weeks, and have been at a full on raging boner every single time! I can't thank this community enough, it has honestly changed everything. Also, my turnaround time has significantly improved. Last night 2 hours and I was ready to go again. It was unbelievable as my libido would usually subside for a day or a day and a half previously.
Also, my self control (pe) has drastically improved. I can't explain the difference very well, but when I have sex I can really enjoy it and can withstand the temptation to cum/ calm myself down a little bit when it occurs to last longer.
As for "superpowers" I know that I'm more confident now, i carry a big stick at the bars and use PUA techniques relentlessly, but I am no where that I want to be. Not yet anyway.
Again thank you community, I'm planning on writing a list of all of the gains - pros/ cons for 60 days. keep on keepin on.
oh and for those interested, here I was after my first week. A fairly substantial change if you ask me!
After no use of pmo or m I am starting to see positive effects little by little. A month ago my penis would be completely dead, even when I was touched by girls. After seeing this effect which my body had, I realized something was wrong with my ed. I went online and found this website as well as ybop. I finally foud my problem. Before heavy use of pmo for an entire year, I had a gf which I never pmo or m and everything was working perfectly with me. Now, after a month of no pmo or m I feel much better and my penis is actually reacting by me simply thinking about sexual encounters. It feels great. Last night while at the movies, by simply touching my friend, I got an erection but not 100%.
The case is, I recommend anyone suffering from ed to have a strong commitment to themselves and not pmo or m while in their reboot. It is 100% worth it in the long run. The feeling I now have is almost life changing knowing that my penis now works as it should.
Stay strong guys and don't give up. Think about other things during the process and keep busy and AWAY from a computer, only use it for important and necessary thing. Before rebooting I would find myself looking at porn while doing stuff online. So be very careful.
I've finally done it! 90 days without fapping or porn, and on Hardcore Mode.
I first started for one main reason: ED. And I can now happily say this seems to have been cured finally. I haven't yet slept with a girl since starting but I am now getting erections a helluva lot easier and much stronger too! So hopefully this will remain the case once I do eventually get lucky.
I wish I could report about a magical self-transformation into a confident, easy-going, relaxed, positive, focused etc person like other reports I've read throughout my journey, but unfortunately I remain none of the above!
Other than the ED (or lack of it), I feel a lot more aroused from things I wouldn't have 90 days ago. I guess I desensitized my brain with the constant novelty and ever-increasing extreme pornography so I must say I do feel like 15 again, getting an erection from a bit of nipple!
I'm now going to aim for 100 days as my next target!
Good luck to everyone else. As Nike famously say; just do it.
Yes, I did it.
I'm 28. For about 3-4 years I had ED. I am taking ED meds (viagra-like) for about 1,5 year. Sometimes it was better, sometimes worse, but I felt that I need this drugs to get erection. My girlfriend was feeling bad too. She thought that it's her fault and she isn't hot enough for me.
90 days ago I watched "Your Brain On Porn" TEDx video and it changed my life. I knew that porn and fapping has bad influence on me but I just had no motivation to change it. The video did it. I just wanted to have sex with my gf without any problems.
First 2 weeks were really hard, but I managed to do it. Later I flatlined for a while (I don't rememeber how long). About 3 last weeks were the best. We have really great sex very often and I feel really comfortable every time (I don't think about my erection anymore while having sex).
Now I know, that I don't want porn and fapping anymore. I'm happy without it.
In this 3 months I started to run regularly. I stop procrastinating and started my own bussiness now. I don't think that noFap magicaly helped me do this things, but I'm sure that noFap was starting point to make my life better.
If you have any questions or want any advice - I'll try to answer :)
Today is somewhere around 2 months that I have not PMOd. I don't keep track of days anymore because somehow I relapse with my mind thinking that I "deserve" a little peek since Ive been doing so well. The brain is a tricky thing. Now I try to look at it as being a person that does not watch porn or masturbate. No ifs, ands, or buts. Anyway, so its around two months now and Im getting very good erections every morning. Its been a year
Anyway, been posting around here for 6 months now. I got 10 pages of stuff in my journal to prove it.
Last week I fooled around with a chick and came from a BJ for the first time in years. Actually, came from being with a woman for the first time in years. The last few years I never could cum while having sex or getting a BJ. Hell, the last a couple of years I've had a severe ED, a pretty much dead dick. Shit worked last week though. Finally. I don't think I was as hard as I want to be but obviously hard enough.
I think I am nowhere near where I want to be. I maybe expect too much, I am 36 after all. But this will only be a complete success story once I have sex with a chick. And not just once. But I like where this is headed. I can see the progress, I can see the changes. It is up and down (no pun intended), but things are improving.
It will probably take me 9-12 months to get there. Not exactly 3-5 months that you read about here. But I don't give a shit. I want to get there. And I will get there. Period
I suffered from porn-induced ED and was in a similar situation a couple months ago. I could it get up enough to work about half the time at first. Then I discovered NoFap over winter break, and didn't see my girlfriend for about 2 weeks. When we came back to college, we had sex 9 out of the first 10 days without any serious ED (alcohol still posed a problem). I was blown away by the difference.
Obviously everyone and every situation is different. But I feel like you should be cautiously optimistic about it. IMO, mental attitude is another important component to this. I know that I had some performance anxiety from the ED. But every time, I tried to tell myself it was a fresh start and focus on the sensations and block out any thoughts of past ED. And relax. Not like a sleepy-relaxed, but a confident-I-know-things-are-gonna-work-relaxed.
Also, don't judge the whole night a failure if you can't get it up. Get her off with your fingers or mouth before you try PIV. Then whether you get it up or not, you know she's had some fun. And again, whether or not you get it up, afterwards, cuddle and talk to her about NoFap. She probably won't want all the details, but at least explain that you're in a proven recovery process. Even if you don't see the results in a week, you are healing.
Been doing nofap for quite a while now and I feel that my issues with ED are 99% gone, the problem is when I try to masturbate (without porn of course) I can feel orgasm coming on within a minute and im using the lightest grip possible. Has anyone found a solution to this? OTHER THAN KEGELS. I almost wish I had DE at this point, its far less embarrassing. Thanks
I'm going to try to make this short and to the point. (link)
Rebooting Experience: It was one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. I used my disgust in my poor sexual performance as my fuel for motivation. I wasted so many years of my life struggling with erection problems.
Like yourself, hot stripper lap dance my mind was excited but there would be NO action in my pants. Sex was a gamble without some type of ED pill to sustain and maintain an erection.
How I Feel Now: GREAT!!!! I can get erection just talking to a woman on the phone or thinking about a woman. I have no problems getting erections now even though in my mind I sometimes doubt myself. But that is from my previous ED issues and that will pass over time. Now 98% of the time I'm erect without any effort when it comes time for sex.
I cut out masturbation totally so I'll have a wet dream once in a while. So if I'm going to orgasm I better find a woman to be with. I made the no masturbation choice because I don't want my body getting used to it or risk falling back into PMO. I may look at some pics of women a buddy might send occasionally but I do not engage in viewing porn movies because that causes your brain to get off balance.
I'm not a young guy I'm 46 years old and I feel like I felt in my 20's.
Observations on 90-something days fap free:
- Porn/Fap-induced partial ED is gone. Get very hard very easily. G/F has been brought to PIV orgasm much more frequently these days.
- Constantly sexually frustrated, constantly horny, high standards (perhaps coming from benefits of working out), often frustrated with G/F for insufficient sexual frequency. Lots of time spend fantasizing/planning of sexual encounters with other women (though none have happened).
- Work out (lift, run, bike) 5 of 7 days per week (this has been going on for years though).
Though it has introduced some frustrations and - to some extent - torment, I have no intention of going back to fapping/PMO. Above all else, the confidence that my pseudo-ED is no longer an issue whatsoever is the greatest of benefits. The inner turmoil about lack of frequency of sexual can be channeled to other pursuits. Additionally, once refraining from PMO/MO becomes a habit, it is not too hard to keep up. Same thing with going to the gym: if you make it a daily habit, it's no longer a big deal to keep it up.
Misc note: I am incredibly suspicious of people who write that NoFap has given them "superpowers" - I find them either unintelligent (unable to see a possible placebo effect) or living in a lala-land where their observations don't match reality. NoFap has helped solve a very specific problem, namely porn/fap-induced ED, as well as enhanced my experience, performance, and confidence "in the bedroom"
I was just sitting in my bed watching a movie and texting my girlfriend, and all of a sudden I became rock hard. Not because I was horny for porn, but because of a real woman who feels the same way about me.
Brothers (and sisters), THIS is why we do it. We do it to live a life with normal emotions for real people, to take back control of ourselves. This is how normal sexuality feels, and I never could have gotten to this point alone. Thank you NoFap.
I dont know much about kegals, but I have heard that they are a good thing to do to strengthen the area. As far as coupling with nofap to cure PIED...couldnt hurt. What I do know is that I had intermittent bouts with PIED for many years. Its the porn brotha...always has been and always will be. Want to cure your PIED? Its a simple as completely ridding yourself of pornography for good. If a limp Dick with real chicks is not enough motivation for you to quit porn I dont know what is. That is as powerful a motivator to a man with PIED that I can think of. I had it brotha. I no longer have it.
I looked at porn and fapped for 25+ years and the amount of consumption led to either success in the bedroom or complete failure. Think about the potential of having a limp noodle when your with the girl of your dreams and she is naked practically begging you to fuck her when you have the urgw to look at porn. Use that motivation/fear to conquer the hold porn has. You want to be a good lover whenever the time is right. You do not want to sexond guess your ability to perform each and every time. Good luck bro...if you want to cure your PIED...quit looking at porn for good or fail with real woman almost every single time. Sounds harsh, but its the truth.
Where to begin? Our family got dial up internet around 1998 or 1999. I had heard about masturbation from school mates and even my Dad told me about it (he never imagined a sinster porn element). Around 2000 I was the typical healthy teenage hornball with spontaneous erections every other minute. I remember finding the website for page 3 of "The Sun" tabloid newspaper (topless poses) and so began my mastubation journey having just turned 12. It was fairly easy to evade parental detection when I knew more about the net than them.
Fast foward to age 14-17 and my porn habit had escalated dramatically. I tried to surf porn nearly every day when coming home from school and my Dad wondered why our phone bill was so high (in days of dial up). In the summer holidays I had to be spending an average of 2-3 hours per day on porn. It had escalated in content too, into genres I am too ashamed to share. By age 16/17 I was not getting the same sexual response that any teenager would expect to receive; although somewhat in denial I did suspect it was the porn.
Fast foward to age 17/18; My mother was a committed Christian and thought it would be a good idea to attend confirmation classes at my local church. Through my teens, ironically/ hypocritically I had maintained an interest in Christianity and prayed occasionally to rid myself of my porn addiction. I hated who I had become; I was a walkover at school, did not stand up for myself and became a doormat. About 17 and a half, with the exception a few relapses onto milder "vanilla" porn, I gave up for good, pretty much cold turkey.(porn not masturbation). I was determined to live out my life in private as it should have been in public prior to making a public confirmation pledge.
I continued as a Christian through early part of uni until age of 21/22 with very few relapses. At one stage I even stopped masturbation for several months. However around age 22 I began to question my faith and basic tenants/ validity of scriptures. Slowly but surely, my faith began to unravel. I think the sex negative culture of Christianity helped and supported a fight against masturbation and porn. But I began to socialize more with non Christians and enjoyed going out to bars etc.
Fast foward to age 23 to present day. I graduated Uni age 23 and was extremely luck to find a good job in a great town almost straight way. However there was one major impediment to my self confidence; I was still a virgin. In private, my porn use had started to escalate again however it was nowhere near teenage levels; not ever trying to justify it but perhaps 2 or 3 hours or so per week with fapping. I made friends fairly quickly in my new town however something was still missing; my confidence with women. I had a couple of great opportunities with girls when I first moved but I did not seal the deal (I questioned their attractiveness in my head, almost certainly as a result of porn). They were both great girls who would have been cool with a virgin's deflowering. My porn habit continued at the same background rate of 1-2x per week, average 1-3 hrs weekly.
At 25 I moved to a town nearby; many of my existing social circle of friends moved away. I was desparate to meet ppl and began talking with a girl from my hometown at work. I worked in a different department to her but I asked if she knew any socials happening soon. She invited my out with a few friends that Friday; we got quite flirty, then when everyone else had gone. Before I knew it we were heading back to hers; Result!? However in the pants department, nothing was working. Dead. I attributed this to nerves and alcohol. The next morning we tried and I successfully lost my virginity however I was maybe only 70% hard and lost my erection 2 mins in. (I explained my virginity age 25 to her - quite a shock to her but she was really understanding). I was gutted that my first time I had equipment failure. I expected to be hard as a rock. Again I suspected porn and found this website. Instantly I resolved to quit porn and minimize fapping, at least to imagination only. I stayed porn free for a month; during this time I continued seeing my work colleague (now a friends with benefits) and sex became much more successful. 10 days after the intial failure we had sex successfully twice, each time around 90% hard. I felt like I was turning a corner. By the end of september sex was fantastic for both of us (despite not lasting as long as I would like). My confidence in other areas also improved and I felt like I had more of a presence at work and socially, and I was not afraid to argue my case.
Fast foward to the start of October; I have relapsed with porn 5 times in 5 days, albeit briefly. However no fapping. But it is the porn I hate more than anything, this is what has the corrosive effect on confidence, relationships and virility. I am resolved to make Oct 9th by last no porn reset day. I have started a journal to chronicle my feelings and my partner has been supportive throughout, which helps so much.
I'm still not completely convinced regarding the no fap concept; I think telling teenage boys its wrong this may lead to unnecessary amounts of guilt and self hatred etc. It is in many ways a natural thing to do; just not with porn EVER. You should only use your imagination, as in days gone by, if thinking about your partner even better. And fapping should not be a daily or go to activity when you're bored or sad; it should only be when you are incredibly horny.
I make love with a girls today,the last time they are two day ; ) My exitation was very little but my dick worked and i cum.little sensation on the dick. I m 179 days free of porn and it s the sixt time i have good sex this month,the sixt time of my life i take pleasure at sex!!!! I think i m just in the midle of my reboot because my pleasure is so far the pleasure i had with porn,it s a very very different pleasure,i have to improve many sensation and feel with girls. Maybe i had too many orgasm with girls for the moment? My mind is more clear and very cool no anxiety with girls ; ) I confident for the future!
Just a little report for those who are struggling with ED and/or DE.
So I am with this girl, we attempted sex a couple of times, but I couldn't get it up. I told her it was the NoFap "flatline", I didn't tell her I have a strong ED (30% of successful intercourses) since the beginning of my sex life (8 years ago, I'm 28). I did tell her I have DE (I only came 3 times out of several hundreds while having sex or oral).
So last night was the night, I got a negative STD test result so I didn't have to use a condom (which drops the chances to get it up). I took 50mg of Viagra because I wanted to have more chances. Viagra helps, but doesn't do everything, I think it helps foranxiety, but not for the porn-induced aspect.
So it went fine on my side, but she was too nervous, and it was too tight to have sex. I was quite happy, since for once it's not "my fault" :)
Then she started a blowjob, and it lasted for a while... I really wanted to finish, so I started to think of porn scenes... BAD IDEA and after a couple of minutes I came!
So yeah, it's not good I thought of porn, but even when I used to do this before NoFap, it wouldn't work. So there's an improvement. The ED is also getting better, as it didn't work with Viagra before.
In the morning, I started to feel the "chaser effect", and... I relapsed. I think it's also because I thought of porn while getting the bj. I think it would have been better not to come and wait until I'm 100% cured for that, but I wanted it badly :) So yeah, it sucks, but I'm happy with the progress, and ready to go further.
I'm going to get back on track, I hope the streak won't be ruined, this was awesome!
It was my first star after months of struggling by the way, so don't loose hope. Believing that you can do it is the best advice I can give to you. This mindset really changed the way I did this streak.
Stay strong my friends, it may take time, but it really seems to work.
From this thread - Sex Anxiety or Porn Related Erectile Dysfunction?
I've suffered from this problem myself, and the only way to fix it is to totally cut out the porn and let your brain recover.
Sources online (I can't google them for you because I'm on my phone) explain that it's an addiction of sorts, relating to how the brain interprets sexual desire.
Give up the porn and re learn how to get off without it. Personally, I couldn't even get it up without visual stimulation, now I can give it a few tugs and be ready to go. YMMV but it sounds as though you're in a similar situation to the one I was in.
I bet that's the site you refered to. Helped me a lot, too. For me it didn't take nearly as long as what they decribed on that site to see positive effects. Just give it a try.
Before, I couldn't get off no matter what the other person did, or how attracted i was to them. Instead of enjoying what was happening I was in my own head, trying to think of some porn fantasy, trying harder and harder to imagine something to get me off until until I felt kinda dizzy.
Two weeks after I stopped watching porn and cut down masturbation i got my first orgasm from a handjob. Such an incredible feeling. Suddenly I could really let myself go. Not a thought in my mind.
I must confess I haven't successfully had penetrative sex yet. Tried it three times with different partners. Then I stopped watching porn and cut masturbation down to a minimum. Met someone I feel really safe with and when I think of having sex with him I am so much more confident. I am so looking forward to it. I think I really need intimacy and trust or it just won't work. Could be social anxiety playing into it.
That wasn't it, but thanks for the link, looks pretty interesting. I think the stuff I found was on Psychology Today, but I can't find the pages for the life of me.
I was in the exact same boat as you, not being able to get off at all with anybody else and really felt like crap over it. I think a lot of it was mental, I'd go into a sexual encounter thinking "what if my dick doesn't work" and what not, which makes it worse. But as you experienced, when things started to work again, confidence came back and it was easy to get lost in the moment.
As for penetrative sex, I would suggest giving up masturbating for a while. It helps to have someone you feel safe and confident with while you "get back on the horse", I've got a guy I'm seeing pretty regularly and experienced orgasm from fucking him for the first time since I was about 17 (I'm 24). It definitely works, whether or not it's psychosomatic is besides the point when the results speak for themselves.