Tales of Porn-Related ED 1

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Too much pornography can lead to erectile dysfunction

These pages contain a very small sampling of self-reports by various men who have experienced porn-induced ED. For more stories check out these porn-induced ED threads:

For longer, more detailed ED recovery accounts see Rebooting Accounts 1,  Rebooting Accounts 2, and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads                                 


From an MD who finally figured out he had porn-induced ED

I lost my girlfriend but gained this community ... Hello from a new member and an M.D. who learned firsthand what the medical community doesn't (yet) teach you about the dangers of porn

by dayoneforthis33yrold

My sincere hello to all the guys here! I'm turning to this community for help, and I wanted to introduce myself and my situation. I'm 33, healthy, a physician who just finished my training ... and for the past 6 months have struggled with ED and DE which ultimately led me to realize that porn and arousal addiction have destroyed my most recent relationship. The loss of my girlfriend last month over a lack of "physical chemistry" as she said it …. my ability to please her, as I say it ...tore my heart in half and made me feel like a fraction of a man, but in the process forced me to take a good long look at myself and realize that my habits and coping mechanisms over the past 15-20 years of my life have caught up with me ... and I am going to have to fight hard if I am going to dig myself out of this emotional and biochemical abyss so that I may have a normal, healthy, and enjoyable sex life and a successful relationship in the future.

Although doctors know a lot about the human body, there are certain phenomena that are not yet in the mainstream fund of knowledge. The dangers of PMO and arousal addiction are not yet mainstream. Even though I am a medical doctor, I had NEVER heard about them or realized they were so well described as they are on the internet by the pioneers like yourbrainonporn.com and the nofap community. (My exgirlfriend, also an MD, had no idea too.) What I did know was that I was not happy, and frankly had never been when it came to sexual relationships and intimacy with women.

Regardless of having slept with over a dozen women, some of whom were extremely attractive, I have always used porn since I discovered VHS porn back when I was 12-13. At least 3-4 times a week since high school, I have used MO to feel better, and most of the times PMO. As technology improved and as the training for my specialty got more intense and required moving cities a lot and got in the way of having relationships, my porn use escalated. During relationships porn interfered in intimacy (subtly dampening the chemistry of the relationships at first, and over time muting them completely as with my most recent relationship that failed 3 weeks ago) In between girlfriends I always had my habit to make me feel better, even though the lack of a great intimate relationship with a woman always gnawed at my heart and made me feel less confident and less of a man. When times were tough or I had long gaps between girlfriends, I used porn more heavily. And with the improvement of technology over the past 20 years, the intensity of the problem grew and grew. 15 years ago the internet made it easy to download clips, and I started stockpiling porn like it was food and a nuclear war was about to start. 10 years ago the DVD craze was getting huge, and I started stockpiling DVDs. Then when internet porn a couple years ago made a digital cloud library possible and the evidence of hard drives and disks obsolete, I threw away everything and just joined a website that gave me everything I wanted, at any time, in HD.

Yes, my dysfunction escalated over time. Delayed ejaculation was the only sign for the first decade, but in the past 5 years I noticed my ability to pick up girls declined with a loss of confidence that I seemed to be having. And then my habits started catching up with me especially in the past 18 months … a death of a family member and a bad break up happened before last summer, and I relied on PMO to make me feel better for 4-5 months. This escalated to pretty long sessions, and multiple times a day, with more pay sites and HD quality that I could toggle and click and FF and rewind and interchange girls at a moment's noticed, and I got lost in the sad and lonely world of PMO ... sucked down the drain and I didn't even realize it was happening.

And then a bright moment in my life happened. I met a girl at work. She was a doctor too. She was beautiful and sexy and funny and we clicked instantly and laughed, we spent every minute together as friends and I eventually told her I was crazy about her and we started dating 6 months ago. It was an amazing connection, the first girl in my life I felt I may have a future with. And it was amazing, until we tried to have sex. The sex sucked!!! My dick got limp, during sex, or I would have delayed ejaculation (foolishly thinking I could last longer, which should be a bonus ... but my GF hated that I could not orgasm with her). Even though she was also an MD, and had no idea what was wrong with me because she knew I was too young for blood flow problems to my penis (a common cause of ED in older men). At first I thought it was anxiety from the new relationship, then I thought it was stress from an upcoming exam. And I reassured her that it would get better and she was hiding that she was miserable to protect my feelings while I studied for a huge exam.

My Eureka moment when she came to visit me after the exam after 2 weeks away from her, and I got limp during sex! It devastated her, and she leaped out of bed and said she couldn't do it anymore for the morning and went to take a shower. Hurt and rejected, like a baby clinging to a blanket, I reached for my phone, logged into a website, streamed HD porn and got a 100%stiff erection instantly and came in 30 seconds. And as the endorphins faded, I could hear her in the shower behind the wall, and my heart sank because I could not be intimate with her … and I knew that something was seriously seriously wrong. We were on and off again for a few weeks, and after taking me back it happened again 3 weeks ago (I was still using porn, not knowing why it was happening) and she left me for good. I was devastated. I sat on a couch for two days and researched everything I could on this topic, which led me to all you wonderful people and this support group, as well as a life coach dedicated to this problem, and as I read all the info a light bulb went off in my head. I tried to explain to my girlfriend what was happening, but she said I was crazy, did not find her attractive, may possibly be gay, and she could not be in a relationship with me anymore outside of friendship. So I cut her off. And now I am alone, and have all of you, and need to prove to myself that I can make it to 90 days.

Sorry for the long post. I will try posting something short every day for the next 90 days.


Having sex with another PMO addict made me realize I need to get this under control

I realized a little over a year ago that I was doing the PMO thing way too much, and it was affecting my sex and romantic life. I'm a fairly attractive gay man, who doesn't really struggle with talking to men I find attractive, but I was letting things get carried away. When I reduced PMO (unfortunately, my longest streak was only 10 days) I was having great sex with a lot of guys, so I figured maybe I didn't have a problem, and that moderation was key.

However, the last several months I have not been doing it in moderation, and last night I had sex with a guy who admitted to me that he masturbates to porn at least 5 times a day. Needless to say, it didn't go well. There were erection issues, frustration, and both of us were not feeling good about ourselves when the encounter was over. It is unlikely I will ever be talking to this person again.

I think it's time to try rebooting again. I know that I enjoy sex more than masturbation, and yet for some reason, I find myself opting to jack off instead of sleeping with the guys who are interested, and that isn't healthy. Sex should be the preferred option, and I need to stop picking PMO for the convenience. Sometimes I get anxious when I know sex is going to occur with a new partner, and it messes with me, so I choose PMO because there's no anxiety in looking at a screen. I have realized that the things that make you a little anxious are good for you, and more rewarding in the end.


From this thread - How come it took us so long to make the connection that porn was the problem?

A significant problem is that the medical profession is far behind the times.

My personal issue is primarily sexual function, not brain fog/social anxiety/etc.  I googled around a lot about ED a few years ago and found almost nothing that talked about the link between porn and ED.  All the "respectable" website didn't even list it as a possible cause of ED.  In fact, most sites say something like, "if you can get it up to porn, then you have no physical problems...it's all in your head."

So I started seeing doctors and spent a lot of money.  Same thing there:  "Erection to porn means it's in your head...take some Viagra."

Ultimately, I did a lot of research on ED and spent quite a bit of money on doctors, tests, medicine, etc.  Not once did any health care professional say to me, "Hey, you know, watching porn too much can cause sexual dysfunction."  Instead, they offered up other things which are not even proven to be linked to ED and typically did not apply to me anyway (e.g. anxiety...even though you've been with your spouse forever and show no signs of anxiety; stress...even though you don't show any indication of being stressed; diet...even though your weight is normal and you eat a balanced diet; low testosterone...even though low T hasn't been linked to ED (except in extreme cases...and even that is weak) and your T is not really low).

Then there's reddit.com/r/sex...with absolute horrible advice from "sexologists" who frequent the site.  So bent on being "sex positive," they not only deny the potential negative consequences of porn use, they actively ridicule the notion of porn-induced ED.

So, though I feel stupid for not making the link between porn and ED myself, the fact is I sought out research and advice from professionals and porn was never brought up except in a positive light.  I didn't think to say, "Hey, I fap to porn" because, at the time, that was the same to me as fapping generally....everyone does it, it's normal...in fact, it's healthy.

I even started the process to evaluate the possibility of surgical intervention.  It would be between $25k and $30k out of pocket and the results are not encouraging (penile revascularization).  The day after that appointment I stumbled on YBOP.  Oh my god...what a revelation and what a relief.

And it works...I'm not 100%, but I've improved dramatically and things keep getting better. My PIED started about 10 years ago.  I've spent thousands of dollars on doctors, including a well known urologist specializing in ED (had to travel a couple of hundred miles for that one); thousands on tests; thousands on pills.

And it turns out all I had to do was quit fapping to porn.  Unreal.  Honestly, I'm a bit angry given that I actively sought solutions from professionals, including specialists, who graciously accepted my hard earned cash yet gave me bad advice.

Thank you, Gary.  You figured this out when everyone else was saying, "no way!"

As individuals, one of the best things we can do is give your doctors feedback on this issue.  Let them know your experience.  Save an erection...point them to YBOP.


had sex with a porn star and couldn't keep it up

This is how bad PMO is

this was a while ago, but last February I fucked pornstar (she was pricey prostitute) and i could barely keep it up with her... the same girl I fapped off to in porn.

I COULD FAP TO A FUCKING PORNSTAR, BUT WAS BARELY ABLE TO FUCK HER IN PERSON

that's how much porn fucked my life up.

I've been struggling with nofap but i have faith ill make it a long term lifestyle. no fap helps a lot. it will work. i will overcome.

just needing a little encouragement. thanks guys


[This is the classic story we hear over and over] I'm 19 years old and started PMO at age 12. All the way through middle and high school I've been shy, introverted and suffered social anxiety - I didn't connect to anyone even though deep inside I wanted to make good bonds. I've always thought I was abnormal and blamed it on genetic causes up until now. During my later years of using porn daily (aged 15-19) my tastes for porn have progressed to more extreme material which I've been increasingly disgusted about. It went from from pictures of naked women to fetishes and even to the shemale material which has caused me to develop anxiety that I'm gay, but i only like women in real life. I have had relationships with girls, and had sexual experiences with them except for sexual intercourse - I'm a virgin at 19 and feel odd. I have ED - I couldn't get it up for 4 separate occasions for 4 different girls. This has all added to my anxiety. I feel down every day, with thoughts running through my head at 100mph. I don't feel myself. I feel hopeless.


Dear Libido.

I just want to say that my penis and I miss you more than anything in the world. We've had such great times together and I thought we would never split up. I didn't realize that I didn't treat you right, and that I was in fact hurting you, and in the end killing you. I can't stop to think about all the fun we've had with girls, not just the ones we were physical with but also how you made my dick get move around in my pants when a hot girl walked by.Since you left it has felt like a part of me has died off and that I am walking around in constant apathy being an androgynous creature without the urge to have sex, or even fap, and little dickie won't hardly ever get up anymore.

Because of your departure, I have been to the doctor and had bloodtests and got Cialis, and he sent me to a shrink dealing with sexual problems. None of those quaks could find any reason for you to leave and said I was fine and healty, and it probably was something in my mind. I have been missing you for almost three years and at first I didn't even realize that you had left. I just thought that there was something wrong with my dick but it turned out that he, as well as I, were missing our best buddy - you!

Because you left, my girlfriend left too. So now I am alone after having realized that both you and her left because of porn. I want you back more than anything and I hope that you read this letter and decide that you will return. I have realized that you are more important to me and dickie than anything else. Hopefully, you will return shortly now that I have thrown out the bitch that is porn and you and I can be together again on many great new adventures.

Besides writing this letter to you and hoping that you will return I can also always re-read this if you return and remember what life is like without you. Come back REAL soon!! Love Penis and I.


I developed PIED within a couple years after getting my high speed internet connection 10 years ago. For years I struggled because it would be very tough to get hard enough with a real  woman, especially in the beginning, and if there were condoms involved I would lose my erection most of the time in the process of trying to put it on.

I would always return to porn to reassure myself and would get rock hard, especially with my real crack cocaine of porn: webcam shows. This allowed me to rationalize my PIED as just being not attracted to the girl, or some other factor. I tried all kinds of boner pills and for a while with my girlfriend would never have sex unless I had had a strong cup of coffee, taken some arginine  or butea superba or maca, and had laid off masturbating for a couple days. It was like i would plan my week around my webcam and PMO sessions to try and perform with her a couple times week - which wasn't enough for her!


How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life Gay guy describes his porn-induced ED.


A month ago I gave up porn. Throughout my whole life I would never PMO more than twice a day, usually only once. Also, I never escalated into "extreme" or fetishist things. But, despite all that, I still developed "copulatory impotence" "porn-induced ED" or "desensitization", etc.

A few days ago I had really great sleep and later that day I had a very good evening. I was holding eye contact, smiling and feeling super confident. Its days like that that make me know that this is the right thing to do. Also, I've always loved to write. For the last couple weeks I've been writing like a mad man. I've started a new project and am super proud of what I have been creating. I can only attribute this to the extra energy I've had from not wasting it on PMO.


With regards to my own situation, the correlation between porn and ED couldn't be clearer. ED hit me from out of nowhere and devastated my psyche. However, I'm glad to say that after cutting out porn and masturbation completely for the past month, everything is returning to normal, and I've seriously never felt better.


I have a similar story which proved to me that porn can be harmful to my health. About a week ago after a huge dry spell i was finally fooling around with a girl that i was very much attracted to. We were making out but I sucked on her tits and fingered her a little bit. She rubbed my dick and dry humped me and i grabbed her tits but throughout this whole session- about 40 minutes long- i never got fully hard. When i watch porn i get hard immediately but with her i could only manage a half erection and that was because she was rubbing my dick and i was grabbing her tits. I have a routine where i jack off every ten days but i will often watch porn everyday. The day before we fooled around i jacked off to porn; I'm 98% percent sure that if i didn't jack off that day and if I didn't watch porn as much, I would have managed an erection which would have most likely scored me at least a bj.


A lot of accounts in the literature I've been reading say that people aren't turned on by real lovers. It's not even that I'm not turned on by the prospect of actual sex. Both the porn and the concept of real sex are exciting (maybe the concept of sex is LESS exciting). It's just that when in the act, I feel like I don't know what to do or think in order to get it up. It's as if my brain has been trained to trigger an erection in response to the porn, and not to the real thing. Does this make sense?


I am a 23 year old male that has been frequently masturbating to porn since I was 14. Everything was fine until a couple of years ago in which I increased the frequency that I masturbated to porn. I started to notice some significant erectile dysfunction problems. I could get hard after some time, but the erection would still be fairly weak (both alone and with a partner). The few times I have tried having sex with a partner since then ended up in failure for the most part. I would either not get hard enough, or, if I did, I would cum within a minute of sex.


Wow, so glad I've discovered that I might not be as f*cked-up as I thought I was! Like many, can easily bop the bishop between 1 to 4 times a day but simply do not get erect when in an actual sexual situation with a woman (have to get it up manually - usually whilst I'm going down on her - then get it in as quick a possible and keep thrusting to keep it firm!!!), in fact it was a *massive* contributor to the breakdown of my last relationship as I never really wanted sex that much plus I got this eventual lack of confidence in my own *seeming* lack of libido. I mean, she was *gorgeous*, exactly like the sort of chicks I was jacking off to - how could I cum when looking at pics of women like my GF but not be even horny with the real-life version. It was MAD! I've decided that I'm gonna stop now and already my mind is going nuts as I generally hit the PC after work and stare at naked chicks for 2-4 hours (and this is EVERY NIGHT), probably busting one or two nuts during that time. Been wanking pretty much daily for the last 24 years, already feeling this crazed, psychological emptiness in regard to kicking the habit, I'm withdrawing already, sense there's a massive gap that needs to be filled in a different way! This is gonna be tough but I will give it my best shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am a 53 y/o man. Today marks 28 days without PMO!! Like most, I have always had a problem with porn - nothing too serious, but over the years, I just like watching people have sex. My problem escalated about 18 months ago when I got high speed internet. All of a sudden, I went from just viewing pictures online, to viewing videos and movies online instantaneously. I never really gave it much thought, but after almost daily viewing, sometimes even binging for hours on end watching porn videos, I really began to notice a change in my own personal sex life with my wife.I had never really had any ED problems at all. But when ever my wife and I would start to have sex, I could not get an erection. Sometimes I would get one, but then it would quickly start getting soft. Sex has been almost non-exist ant for us. My wife is kind and gracious and says, "That's alright." Oh that is comforting ... almost!!

So on May 17, I was on my way to my "favorite" porn site to watch more video clips, and somehow found this site. Watching the "Your Brain on Porn" video series and reading other posts have helped encourage me along the way. I have had some temptations, but I always make sure I stop by here first and read new post or even re-read old post to help me stay focused. So far so good.This morning I was at a sports web site and there was a picture of a girl in a bikini on one of the banners - for the first time in a long time, my penis started to make a move toward an erection. So maybe this is a move in the right direction. I find it interesting, that even when I would watch porn videos, 95% of time, I could not get an erection!! Even when I tried to masturbate to a video, my penis never got full erect. Hey men, we're in this together! Let's continue to help and encourage one another. Even though I don't know any of you, your words of encouragement have helped me.


I found out my addiction was harmful the first times I tried to have sex with her and my body didn't work (almost four months ago). We hadn't been going out for long before that, but still, in that moment, I cried on her shoulder. And she was so sensitive with the things she said to me, and so tender, and so... everything. Nothing felt wrong in that picture. I didn't feel embarrassed at all to be crying with her.That was the way I found out we were irreversibly in love with each other. I think my addiction played a part in that, and I have to thank it for that. Just kidding.I tell everything to my partner, and I think every couple should. If you do, you'll immediately feel better. If you really are in love, you'll endure everything. And believe me, I couldn't imagine myself saying this lame romantic thing even 5 months ago.


I am in my late 30's, have used porn heavily since my teens, and have had ED problems for a long time - at least since my late 20's, though it's only recently that it's become almost total copulatory ED. I've blamed it on partners ("I'm just not attracted to you"/"I wish you were more responsive"), the newness of partners ("I need to give my body time to catch up to my brain"), fitness levels, diet, age, stress, performance anxiety. And actually, all of those, except for the "I'm just not into you" factor, probably have a part to play. But when I realized I could no longer even masturbate to orgasm without porn, something clicked. It seems blindingly obvious now, of course.


I remember sitting through classes my sohphomore year in college just in total fear of seeing my girlfriend that weekend, because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. I worried about ED pretty much all the time, and it really affected me deeply. When I'd actually be in bed with her, I wouldn't be able to think about anything aside from the fact that my penis felt like it was size of a tic-tac, and any moment, she'd be reaching down for a good solid erection and find that instead. I've never felt more emasculated than that period of my life. Tt's since gotten better. But it was also a really odd relationship and both of us were horrible at communicating feelings, so it just ended up being something we never talked about. Eventually, we just stopped having sex altogether. It was pretty messed up. After that finally ended, I met a girl I could talk to about the problem, and that was half the battle right there. Communicating with your partner about it is KEY (obviously).


Thank you so much! I've suffered from the exact same problems and I've wondered what to do. To tell a little about me, I'm 23. I first tried to have sex when I was 18, but I couldn't get it up (I had already been masturbating almost daily for 6 years, generally with tight grip and erotic visuals, often multiple times a day). I've had sex with four partners in my life and I never reached orgasm with any of them. In short, my sex life has been disappointing. Indeed, my last relationship ended because of erection problems of this sort. She accused me of being gay, but I knew that wasn't true and yet how was she to believe me if I was by all appearances not interested in her?

I've talked about this with with several friends. I've suggested that perhaps excessive masturbation might be the problem, but they have been very dismissive, giving me the usual spiel about how masturbation is harmless and healthy. I finally have the confidence to act against the conventional wisdom now that I at last have confirmation of what I had long suspected in the back of my mind.I have felt very alone in my problems; what I've experienced has gone against the popular narrative that men my age are so sexually insatiable that masturbation could never affect their sex drive. Thus, I've been feeling like a horrid, castrated aberration whose issues were more deserving of contempt than sympathy. Indeed, erectile dysfunction is never portrayed as tragic or deserving of sympathy in popular media, it is always portrayed as hilarious. These worries have put considerable stress on me and have affected my life in every aspect. It certainly is NOT funny and it angers me that it is treated as such!I could not have found this article at a better time and it is impossible for me to exaggerate the hope and excitement that I feel!


I am in my mid-20's and have had ED for as long as I can recall. I also started masturbating at a very, very young age - so young that I wasn't even aware of why certain things compelled me and why it suddenly stopped and I had 'finished', so to speak. So, ever since a young age I was into porn in some form, but growing up in the age of the internet with hardcore flowing porn at seemingly no cost whatsoever, I took to it like a duck to water. I have been to doctors and had medical, and have been told physically I am fine. Over and over again.

Yet I longed to discover I had an underlying disease so as to have the hope that it could be sorted. In the intimacy that I have had with women I have always relied on Viagra or Levitra (the latter is the most reliable for me) but neither provided me with the absolute solution, as even they wouldn't work 100% of the time.I stumbled across a similar piece of information as this material last year or the year before, but somehow it didn't embed itself and I carried on with the porn, 1-3 times per day with the multiple screens open with different videos all streaming - struggling to satisfy my insatiable desire.

It took a lot of effort to do one thing for hours. For example, cooking is a chore, cleaning is a chore, walking to town is effort and takes too much time. But I could surf for porn for hours, even a whole day and just casually masturbate, in search of the 'right' scene. What a waste of time - as I'd ejaculate as quick as I'd want. I could have done it on the first video and had a whole day free!Even then, my erections weren't 100%, maybe 70-80%. When I'd achieve a full 100% I couldn't believe my luck, but it wouldn't stay that way for long. I was convinced I had a physical problem with my penis, which could have led me to the porn obsession and the bad practice. This may still be the case. But experts have no answer to the physiology side to it other than to offer Viagra or similar drugs. The analysis here makes sense to me and is at least worth a try. I hope this is my problem as to have a normal functioning penis would be a godsend!


The link between porn and ED couldn't me be clearer for me. I'd follow this cycle:-Stop enjoying sex and even masturbating to porn (but do it anyway) ->-Give up porn ->-Get better erections and more pleasure out of masturbation and sex ->-Think I'm cured ->-Go back to porn ->-Go to step 1During the bad times, even when I did manage to get it up for a real woman, that sensation just wasn't there. I wasn't enjoying it, just doing it because I though it it would help to get me back on track.Now I can see that the opposite is needed: give up all orgasm for a while, re-balance, and take the psychological pressure off myself.


I am 24 years old and have been battling ED for years now and only recently attributed it to porn addiction. I tell you what, I have been on an emotional roller coaster while trying to figure out what the problem was. What makes the whole thing so difficult is that you know that you should be aroused by "real" women, but for some reason you can't. Then you try to consciously make yourself aroused which is basically impossible, and once this fails you spiral into a depression/anxiety. Physicians really need to be more aware of what is going on with this.


 I personally am having the same issues of "rewiring" my brain to "real woman" circumstances. If I'd known I was desensitizing my brain I would not have started this porn/masturbation behavior. When I attempted to have sex with a real woman, I had ED. No response; just frustration. The most embarrassing thing was she was aggressive and attractive, which I sought out in porn images.I have started the "reboot" process with daily improvement. First, terminate the porn even situational sexual programs on TV (i.e. Showtime, HBO, Family Guy or Simpsons). Next, exercise vigorously, to pump blood throughout your system. If you have to masturbate, use a real woman to arouse yourself, not porn. Slowly, it will come back. This has been working with me. The only issue I have is performance anxiety due to prior failure. My confidence was shaken, but I will recover since I know it is not a physical problem.


The other night I was watching a program about prostitutes. I recognized some of the girls from porn movies. I found it interesting to gain the perspective from the girls in the sex industry, something I think is rare, at least in a nonjudgmental fashion. But anyway, they were speaking at one point that they could tell who the chronic porn masturbators were because nothing they could do could "inspire" the man to get it up. Think about it, even girls professionally trained in fulfilling male sex fantasy are unable to match the stimulation of pornography, including some girls who are actually in pornography. "Normal" women who just want our affections don't stand a chance.

I have the exact same problem as many of you and it is comforting to learn that one is not alone. Got used to masturbation and porn since I was 13, when doing the real thing with many different women, I would always lose it during intercourse.I have stopped watching porn for a month now, and no masturbation for a little over 3 weeks. I don't miss them, because I refuse to live a life where this is a problem.Now, I feel a difference. I try and stare at women more often and try and imagine sex with one of the ladies I have been with before. But will not masturbate, will touch myself gently on the side of my penis and not touch the upper part where I used to hold a tight grip. I am not remotely close to climaxing.

I have someone I am developing a serious relationship with, but she has moved overseas. We had messed around a couple of times before she left, but no intercourse. We engage in cyber sex, and as mentioned earlier, I don't masturbate, just gently touch myself on the side. I am getting to yearn in different ways now. It sometimes feels like I am rediscovering my sex urge.I am determined to heal myself, I am seeing a therapist to help me around the anxiety by doing sensate focus and EMDR and meditation. Things are going well.


I definitely can relate to this. I'm 28 years old and a former collegiate athlete. My situation my not have been as extreme as others, but abstinence from porn and reduced masturbation definitely help with psychological ED. If the urge becomes too great, masturbate to fantasies in your head.After a few weeks I felt better and had more confidence in the bed with women. Porn is the only thing I have ever become dependent on, and I drink and used to smoke cigs and weed. Go figure.


I have been battling ED ever since my first girlfriend. Even with her my sex drive was definitely not where it should have been for a 17-year old. Any sexual relationships with women after that have always been somewhat boring to me. I could never get as excited as I should have. I have been masturbating to porn since a very, VERY young age. My family has had internet ever since it existed. As a very young boy I was surfing the web for a website relating to a video game I was playing at the time and stumbled accidentally on a pornographic website. Ever since then I have been addicted to porn and masturbation.

I have always been depressed about my ED problems, but I just couldn't understand why it was happening. I regularly get morning erections so I knew it was not a physical problem. I am now in my mid-twenties and have zero drive to meet women or to be in a relationship with one. I could never understand why this was. I felt that I must have a healthy sex drive if I have the urge to watch porn and masturbate the way I do, so I never associated my issues with either habit. I just always assumed masturbating and viewing porn were something guys did.Now, I am completely convinced that my addiction to pornography and masturbation is causing my ED with real women and my lack of desire to be with women in general.

As I sit here typing all of this I can't help but feel very angry. Angry that this life-long addiction has caused me so much anguish. I feel I have missed out on so much in life because of this addiction and it makes me very sad.I have tried multiple times to break this habit but I find it to be very, very difficult. I usually make it a week at most before I break. I know this is a mental battle, and it is one that I intend on winning. But it is by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, as sad as that sounds.I really think that this is a much bigger problem than people think. More and more young men are going to their doctors about ED, and I'm almost positive porn addiction is the reason. I have never seen so many different ads and commercials for male enhancement products as I see now, so obviously there is something going on. No one wants to talk about it because it is an embarrassing problem, especially for young men. I think this definitely needs to be studied more, by science. I hate pornography and what it has done to me! But knowing I'm not alone is comforting.


I have looked at internet porn since I was 14. I'm now 26 with erection issues during sex. In the back of my mind I always felt like too much masturbation and porn was causing these problems, I even asked the doctors at medhelp.com. They all laughed at me and insisted masturbation is healthy and that you can't masturbate too much.


Thank god I'm in my early 30s and porn to me is a fairly recent thing. I didn't have an addiction problem growing up and in high school in the early 90s because I didn't have regular access to the internet. I don't know how kids today can cope, because they are getting hit so early. Poor overstimulated young guys!I would say my little problem is maybe a year and a half old. Before then it was only occasional porn viewing, mixed sporatically with real sex. I never got too extreme in porn viewing either. Just the normal hard core stuff but never gay or weird crap. Honestly I don't want to sound like a denier, but I don't think this is an addiction for me. It was more of a habbit/something to do after a hard break up with an ex g/f. Had I known the consequences of such frequent porn viewing I never would have done it in the first place. After all what's more important to a man than his ego/manhood? I will not allow anything to put that in jeopardy. Now that I know the consequences I have completely stopped without hesitation of going back.


I've been addicted to porn and had ED issues since I was 15. My first sexual experience was bad. My addiction has caused these problems till now, when I'm 25.


Gay input on PIED

So I was talking to some guy and opened up about my inability to use condoms and my history or PIED. He said he too has had that problem, and added that he has had around 5 different encounters with different guys that couldn't sustain an erection either, some of them where at 18. I got so happy when I heard this. that "I'm not alone feeling" gave me hope and reassured that porn is the underlying factor. Block your phones and computers, throw away the password, self discipline is not enough. Especially if we've been doing this porn fapping thing since age 12. Good luck


The problem is you don't even realize it's a problem until the temporary ED hits you literally out of nowhere. That's why the word needs to get out. So yeah, I'm well on the road to recovery now already feeling better after a few short weeks and plan to return back to my studly ways very soon. Diet, excercise and willpower win the day.


I've had this problem for a while, and all I can say is I just went to the doctor and had full blood work done, hormones checked. My penis is fine, which is evident 'cause I have morning erections daily and in perfect health. Since this isn't a physical problem, it has to be a mental problem and I'm pretty sure it is porn desensitizing me.


 After i broke up with a long time girlfriend about 4 years ago, i sunk into a state of depression and isolated myself. i started to use porn and masturbation as an "antidote". It allowed me to not feel any pain or confront any of the issues I was feeling inside. I wanted to develop "thick skin," and not feel a need for closeness with women. In other words i felt like i had too big of a heart. I was too "soft" for a man, and wanted to desensitize myself. The experiment worked unfortunately, and for the last two years I have been experiencing low libido and ED issues.

I have been to three doctors (including a specialist), been prescribed ED meds (which i just started taking, with little to no effect) and even under the knife, to repair a varicocele, which was a pretty unnecessary operation. All these things have been done in a desperate attempt to repair the damage I've done to myself. The only thing I haven't done is refrain from porn, and masturbation for long period of time. Although I feel little desire, I'm too fearful of the 'use it or lose it' theory. This article has offered me a last bit of hope and I am going to follow your recommendations and refrain from porn/masturbation.


I was in the same situation as you [previous report], minus the meds and surgery. I stopped porn cold turkey but did not stop masturbation. I used my imagination, only maybe every other day. I didn't force it either. If I wasn't relaxed or in the mood I would just simply not do it.Once you start getting back to normal, you might end up having to deal with some sexual performance anxiety like I did. I've never had that problem before in my entire life but it's a very real thing. All this worrying and thinking about your problems is bound to lead to it.For me the combination of patience, an understanding partner, alcohol and if, you can believe this, subliminal messaging audio during the day did the trick. I'm not trying to give away free advertising but the stuff seems to have worked. Or maybe placebo? Who knows? Either way I'm happy as hell right now because I'm knocking boots just like I did when I was 18.


Hey thank you so much for this material. I have been going insane thinking that my sex life is over (This really gave me some peace at mind.) But I have a question. I am 15 years old and I've been masturbating since I was 12. It started out as just simple videos but recently I have been getting into more extreme stuff. I am not currently having real sex because of my age, but my addiction has worried me that my future sex life will be ruined because of the mistake I made as a teen. I am really wanting to quit porn because I know its effects now and I'm hoping to recover and get aroused more around girls. Can you explain to me the basic steps I need to take to recover please? and should I keep on masturbating to my thoughts or do I need to quit masturbation and porn both?


I have looked at porn for pretty much the last 5 years and I have found it has affected my erections.I  recently met a nice girl that I like a lot, but when it come to getting an erection and performing I couldn't. I didn't realise this would be an issue till i tried to perform. It is really frustrating, so i am wondering: if I don't look at porn, how long would it take me to get a natural erection again? Is it the case that if the person has looked at porn longer than the recovery would be longer? I guess when I look at hot women on the internet it's totally different from having a girl in bed, so the tolerance must be too high, which is why i cant get hard.


I'm 33 now, but discovered porn at age 10 via VHS tapes my mom and dad had in their VCR when I went to watch a movie. I searched their room for more, and found they were renting on an almost weekly basis. I was hooked then. I masturbated multiple times a day. I never really slowed down that much. Now, of course I only watch Internet porn. I watch so much of it, it's sickening and has taken over my life for a LONG time. I found out that I can't have sex easily, or if at all. I must use Cialis or a generic form of the drug, and even that isn't working that well, if at all. I eventually lost all sensitivity, and even when I was able to have intercourse, I felt nothing. So, I’m able to last a LONG time if I'm able to get it up, which is rare.


Well I can attest with fully confidence the benefits of going deeper into abstinence from PMO and limiting sexual fantasy. My erections are becoming much fuller, stronger and spontaneous during these dog days of summer. I’m happy that I'm regaining my full sexual health. I haven't felt this excited and sensitive to real girls and women my age since I hit puberty. I’m a hormonal rage full of sexual energy, and, unlike by pre-teen years, I’m harnessing this energy and reaping the benefits in the form of a more balanced mental state and oodles of physical energy I'm channeling toward physical activity. An issue with these roaring erections, however, is that my primitive brain is like ' OMG! OMG! Imagine if you sat down and slapped on one of your fav P videos. Your mind would explode!' I realize that I have had a real turning point in recovery when at the same time I begin to realize the pitfalls and consequences of giving in BEFORE I begin to indulge, NOT AFTER! So I came up with a creative idea of limiting the spontaneity of my extendible rod by doing some kegel exercises. These kegel exercises basically work the PC muscle within males and, having read, also help with maintain control during sex, particular beneficial to those with pre-mature ejaculation (Not me tho). The idea is similar to working out other areas of your body is the sense of drawing energy away and limiting potential activity while recovering. I also plan on hitting the cold shower today to take care of testicular pain which I think is Blue Balls. Anyway, it feels great absorbing satisfaction from the non-virtual environment around me and not relying on sexually produced material to 'make my day'.Keep fighting the good fight everyone!


I noticed I had a porn problem maybe 6 months ago and decided to cut back a lot. So instead of watching every day, it decreased to maybe once a week, with some other masturbation in between. But after reading this article I haven't watched porn in over a month, and only masturbated 4 times. The recovery has been very up and down. There was one week in particular where I masturbated 3 times because my sexual energy was so high.But during the week and a half since that week, I haven't been able to get any solid erections, or have any sexual energy. I know this was supposed to be a frustrating process, but I thought once I was able to achieve solid erections again I was cured. During the past month, I have noticed slight improvements in my social behavior, but also some days not so much.


I was somewhat surprised recently to read a forum thread (actually quite a few) at Men's Health, where guys were discussing their struggles with this (porn/ED), simply from a practical perspective. Mostly young guys, 20s or so, can't get it up anymore with a real girl, and they all relate having a serious porn/masturbation habit. Guys will never openly discuss this with friends or co-workers, for fear of getting laughed out of town.But when someone tells their story on a health forum, and there are 50, 100 replies from other guys who struggle with the same thing...this is for real. If I can quit, and the ED gets better, I'll get back to you and let you know. It could take a while.It is significant that1) these guys are open about this experience, where in a different setting, let's say with peers face to face at home or work, they would never be candid about such a thing.2) Most of them note that quitting or decreasing the porn/masturbation use is extremely difficult.3) There is little mention of moral or religious reasons to alter their habits/lifestyle in this regard, only a practical desire to overcome ED and improve their performance in the "real" bedroom.


I'll keep my story brief (27yrs, male). Over the past several years, I've suffered increasingly worse symptoms of ED. After a breakup with my first love at 21, I began to experience soft erections whenever a condom was involved, but fine without it. Around 23, I began dating a girl and I couldn't maintain an erection even without a condom, and we broke up. Shortly after, I began using half-pills of Viagra to maintain an erection for another girl I was dating for several months, but I couldn't get an erection with her at all without it. When she broke up with me, I hit a two-year battle with depression, shame, and self-worthlessness that put my life into simply a state of existence. Nothing more, I was empty inside. It was so terrible to feel like I wasn't able to have sex anymore, much less become intimate with someone else. Would I be like this for the rest of my life?

Last fall, I began dating someone else, and I was secretly taking portions of Viagra pills, trying to wean myself off while building my sexual confidence. After 6 months, I couldn't hide it anymore from someone I loved - I told her everything. I have never felt more vulnerable in my entire life. She told me that she understood, that she loved me, and that we could work on it together. She broke up with me two weeks later. That's ok, though, because I've finally realized that this problem is never going to go away unless I get in front of it and face it.

 Since then (6 weeks ago), I've decided to do something about it. I've approached a counsellor, who suggested I likely had performance anxiety, which I had already suspected. I went to the doctor hoping to get a test for low testosterone (which I still need to do), but I was surprised to learn that my daily habit of smoking marijuana could be a major contributor to the ED.Today, I've learned that I might have a PMB addiction from this site. For the last several years, I've been smoking marijuana and using P to MB on an almost daily basis. Sometimes, much more.

The scenes have become increasingly "shameful," to the point regular P doesn't do much for me anymore. I can MB without it, but it's more difficult to maintain an erection, and my thoughts wander quite easily, causing me to lose focus. I've been doing this for several years....And now, after seeing this site and the SUCCESS people have had in overcoming performance anxiety and ED with a mental rebooting and abstinence from P/MB, I'm quitting that cold turkey as well. Starting right this moment. I can't believe that all this time, I may have an addiction to PMB that may be the cause to this problem.I'll do almost anything to overcome this. I'm so tired of being a victim and needing a pill to have sex. It's not natural, they aren't healthy, and they only mask the problem. I want to be happy with relationships and intimacy again, and I'm willing to do the work to get there.


It is possible that my situation has been among the most dire known here. I will explain. Including that first episode of ED when I was 18 I have been with 31 people in some capacity of intimacy. I believe in 16 of those encounters I had some degree of ED. Many times it was total ED. Some of those encounters were with men. I thought maybe I could be secretly gay, and that was the problem. No. The result was the same with men. In the rest, I avoided sex entirely for fear that I couldn't perform.


Something very weird happened to me and I am curious how to cure it. I am good looking and physically healthy, but because of being very shy and insecure in earlier stage of my life I had no (except few making out) relationships with girls. I’m not shy anymore, but because of lack of experience I always stayed insecure with girls and that made me a 29 – year old virgin. I hired an escort girl because I wanted to loose my virginity before 30th birthday. And I did it, and had sex for the first time. But something disturbing happened. I knew before that I have problems with my libido and erection (porn is one of reasons). But I didn’t expect this. I waited for this day for years and I was very excited. But when she came and laid on top of me my penis was totally soft! I even pretended to go to the bathroom and masturbated there a little, but still nothing.

This girl I hired is very, very good at her job. She has excellent recommendations and she performs very enthusiastically. When we talked between orgasms she told me that she loves that job and that she feels that she is born for that. She sucked my penis looking me straight in the eyes and caressing my body with other hand and still it took very long to get an erection (not 100%) and to have an orgasm. When we had sex after that, she really put some effort in sucking my penis before it stood up. It took really long and erection was again not 100%. Than she was on top of me and I had a really good orgasm. Than she performed oral sex one more time. But this is the weirdest and most disturbing part. Erection is, as you know, possible in two ways, sexual excitement and physical stimulation of the penis - or both at the same time. I had got those partial erections and three orgasms solely because of physical stimulation! I wasn’t sexually excited at all!

I waited this for years, fantasizing and salivating at sexual images of others and now I’m looking at this woman giving me blow job in a beautiful way, moaning and looking me in the eyes and really performing excellent, but nothing! I spent so many hours looking at naked women, dreaming and wanting to kiss them, and touch them, and now hot girl is naked with me in bed and I do not even care!The image of a penis entering a vagina was always especially exciting to me in porn. I dreamed of a day when I will see my penis like that and thought how much of a rush is that going to be. And now I watched my penis in her vagina while she was riding me and that image didn’t excite me at all! Truth: When she was on top I had a really good orgasm, but only because of friction she made. I am astounded by this discovery. While she was performing these most erotic acts for me, I felt totally distant, like she was some inanimate object, in fact worse, because I would be more excited with a doll.

I am aware that I have (some probably porn related) issues with erection, but I always thought: ”Hey, if I get an 65 – 70% percent erection looking at lame porn pictures on a screen, I will be rock hard when some girl starts sucking my penis.” But no! Day after my meeting wit that girl I went on porn site just to see what would happen. Although I had 3 orgasms with the girl previous night, almost immediately after watching some pictures and stroking my penis I got an erection (60 – 70%) and in a matter of minutes I had an orgasm! Not only because of stroking, I was mentally excited watching images. Day before, those images were real and I was in them and that didn’t excite me, but now they do. Pictures excite me, real live sex doesn’t. How is that possible? And more important, how to cure it?


OK, so here it goes. I'm 19 and been masturbating to porn since I was around 12/13. I have always watched it and believe I am addicted to it.When having sex with women I find it hard to constantly stay erect and especially to ejaculate. I have never been capable of ejaculating inside a women and ejaculating in front of a women has proven very difficult. I literally have to go at the speed of romping rabbits to actually get anywhere, however in the presence of porn I can ejaculate within minutes. The longest I have ever gone without porn is around 11 days, so does anyone have any help on what to do to prevent myself from watching porn. I know your going to say stop watching it. It's simple but it's like telling a chain smoker to stop smoking, not gonna happen right. So ye anyway help, advice etc. Would be greately appreciated. Many thanks in advance to everyone. Lewis


[Now age 28] I lived a lie for two years with my last serious relationship. I literally, for two years, would hide and time the taking of cialis and viagra (bought online) before sex. It was insane. A complicated web of planning. Eventually, as with most young men, I got bored. Went REALLY heavy into porn, so much so as to masturbate while she was sleeping. How can a single woman compete with an infinite amount of HD porn stars doing kinky hardcore acts? I bet most of you here can relate, having like 10 tabs open of different porn scenes, but never finding a scene exciting or intense enough. Always looking for THAT scene to finish too. 

Well, ED got worse. I broke it off with her after that. Previous to her, in another LTR, I could only get off to my GF giving me hand jobs. It was like masturbating. I previously had developed a HJ fetish. She was gorgeous, a model in fact. But as in a later relationship, porn was way more exciting. I have a vivid memory of her onetime lying on my bed, in satin underwear, done up to the nines. I could see how beautiful she was. How many guys would go bananas. And yet I felt no arousal. I knew something was wrong.


I didn't think I was addicted...

I never thought of myself as an addict to porn. Anytime I'd see a post on reddit about not fapping, I'd just laugh. "Fapping is normal, why would anyone stop?" I know now that fapping masturbating isn't bad. Fapping to porn though...

Someone actually explained in a comment why people might choose not to look at porn, and stop masturbating, and linked to your brain on porn, as well as this subreddit. I started to read a bit on the site. At first I dismissed it outright "this is pseudoscience" and "this applies to other people, not me". But it lodged something in my brain.

It takes me a really long time to orgasm. I have a partner. We have sex. Even when I fuck him, I can't always cum. We've been together almost four years, and he's never been able to masturbate me and make me cum. Not once, in four years. I thought it was just the way I am, not very sensitive. But then I thought about it. When I watch porn, I can cum in no time, sometimes minutes (though frustratingly it can still sometimes take forever).

I started to think about that, and the stuff I read on your brain on porn. I wondered if maybe it really does apply to me. I said, "I'm not addicted, I can stop anytime". So I did. I didn't mark the date or anything, because I still didn't see it as affecting me. I think it may have been last week, though maybe it's been two. I can't even remember.

Then today. I really wanted to look at some porn and jerk off. And I really thought about it. Do I really need to look at porn? Why do I feel so compelled. Normally I'd give in, but for some reason, I went back to your brain on porn. And read some more. And finally ended up on these pages Why do I find porn more exiting... and this porn ED test. And I realized that was me. I thought about my history with porn, especially before I got a partner, and realized I am addicted to porn.

I was going to write up my history with porn, and partners, because the more I think about it the worse I realize it is. But I think I'll save that for another post.

TL;DR I didn't look at porn today.


MY STORY!!!(The Reason I'm Doing This)

Okay let me start off by thanking you for reading my very first post! I was first introduced to porn by my cousin when I was like 7. My life changed ever since, I was addicted to this new found drug. I soon began to go on the computer for porn when I was alone like every chance I got and masturbated. I did that for like 3-5 days a week! I thought it wasn't a problem so I kept it going until I was 18 (current age). I learned that it was wrong thanks to google, then google sent me here. I now have a serious problem!!! (random) I can no longer get boners without porn, a girl can be right in front of me naked bent over and nothing would spring up. That makes me feel less of a man and it should so that's pretty much why I'm doing this. This should rid me of porn dick I've heard, I WANT MY FUCKING MANHOOD BACK!!! (Good luck on your journeys!)


My road to recovery, unbeknownst to my wife.

About 3-4 weeks ago it finally hit me that I have a PMO problem. I have always been an avid porn user, averaging once a day no matter if I was single or in a relationship. I never realized it was a problem until I gave it up a few weeks ago. I even got caught twice by my wife, then girlfriend. She was super pissed at me and said it made her feel inadequate that I was going behind her back to look up porn. The second time she caught me, she said if she ever catches me again our relationship would be over.

I kind of blew her off at the time, told her I’d stop, but in secret have been using porn behind her back ever since. Looking back I realize how dumb that was, I was risking the greatest thing in my life, my wife, just so I could jerk off???? How ridiculous when I stop to think about it.

What finally made me realize I have a problem was in October I got laid off. I went from using porn before work for about 5-10 minutes to masturbate, to 30, 40, 60 minute marathon sessions multiple times a day. Quickly after I started using so much porn I developed ED. I felt so confused inadequate, scared, nervous, anxious etc. This went on for about 2 months, it seemed like whenever I’d try to have sex and couldn’t, I would just use more porn, try and test myself, and see if I could get an erection. I found myself looking for weirder and weirder types of porn just to get off. All typical porn addiction symptoms I’ve now learned.


draconis7

Good for you. I'm almost in the same situation. Mid-forties, had an ED condition for about a decade, but worked around it with my partner, so I stopped noticing until 3 years ago, when it started developing into complete impotence. Saw a few doctors, nothing wrong physically, was always misdiagnosed - they never ask about porn. I suspected there was a link to my PMO habit but couldn't be sure, so I kept it going. A month ago my gf left, and I decided to solve the problem once and for all, otherwise I don't have enough confidence to approach new women. Found this group and the Tedx video, went cold turkey about a week ago, feeling a lot better already (better mood, increased vitality).

Like you, I'm from the pre-internet days, didn't even discover masturbation before the age of 30, strange as it may sound, so I'm hoping to get my old potency back in full. Not suffering too much from withdrawal, as my habit was only once or twice a week anyway - but this may get harder as more time passes. I want to see how long it takes to start having wet dreams, as they will give me some release.

If you're improving, you could ask your doctor to replace Viagra with Cialis, which is much milder, with very low side effects. For me, about half of a 5 mg Cialis tablet is usually enough to restore full function. But obviously I'd like to be able to do this on my own, without any kind of medical crutch.

Good luck and stay strong.


What the hell have I become? [Long rant/cry for help]

From the get go, I'll be the first to admit that what is to follow is very much a cry for help, sympathy and an attempt to make myself feel good about myself. But I just need to vent, somewhere.

I just turned 26 years old last Friday. I have a fantastic job (6 figures), graduated from a top 5 university on a full scholarship, 6'2'' tall, fit (could lose some flab) and surrounded by friends. But I fucking hate my life. Yes, I am aware that there are many many people out there who have it worse, but that only makes me feel worse. Despite having it all, I feel empty and unhappy.

I actively try to avoid people even though they keep calling / texting and asking me to come out with them. Instead I sit in my office (yes, in my god damn office), edging. If I do get dragged out, my mind is constantly somewhere else.

I've been a perpetual fapper since I was 10 years old and it got REALLY bad in college. I essentially spent almost all my free time in college fapping. When I could have been meeting amazing people, dating girls, doing fun stuff. I went from being one of the most popular guys in high school to being a nobody in college. I kept jerking.

I can speak 6 languages and I choose to speak with no one. Instead I pretend to be someone (literally, I jacked an acquaintance's photo of the net and pretend to be this suave Swedish guy) and pick up women on r/gonewild. Yes, that's right, with all the opportunities and advantages given to me, I spend the majority of my free time messaging girls on GW and getting them to cam with me.

The worst part is that if I wanted, I probably could have dated so many girls. I just ignored them. There is no empathy left in me. Women are just objects. I've probably bedded 25+ women through one night stands and been in only 1 long term relationship which ended recently on terrible terms (I caught her cheating on me after months of suspicion). I thought I had it all, that women would fall over themselves to be with me, but the one girl I chose to be with and opened myself up to, turned out to be a manipulative, cheating whore. I suppose you get what you deserve.

My friends think I'm a player - because I rarely see girls more than once. You want to know why? It's because I have ED. I meet them at clubs, charm them (or deceive them), and bed them. Then I can't get it up. So I beat them (not in a violent way, more of a Dom/sub way). Most of them love it (surprises me every time). I wake up in the morning, make up some excuse about having to go to work (even if its a Sunday) and throw them out. I'm ashamed to see them again. With my ex, I used viagra and satisfied her. Maybe I did deserve to get cheated on. I was cheating all along too. Pathetic. I'm just pathetic. 26 years old, fit and a cock rendered useless by years of porn. Hoorah!

So here I am - I haven't fapped in 42 days, but I've been on a edging binge since my birthday last week (which I spent alone! Despite my friends wanting to throw me a party). I have a huge exam coming up for business school next week - and instead of studying for it, I'm edging. I just spent all of today (including work hours), messaging women on GW. I know if I get a 700+ score I can probably go to Harvard or Stanford. Instead I set here rubbing my cock through my jeans, constantly refreshing reddit hoping that one of the girls I messaged returns my message. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

The worst part is knowing I have the potential to do great things but being too afraid. Procrastinating things till the brink, and then relying on last minute work to get by. I am not realizing my true potential and that is what sucks so much. I don't have control over my urges. I'm like a fucking crack fiend. I disgust myself. I'm worried I might wake up one morning and become Patrick Bateman.

I need to stop edging and focus on my work/exam. Time to man up and put my miserable life out there for everyone to see. I've disappointed my parents, my brother, my friends, the anonymous people who put me through college. I'm amounted to a lying impotent piece of shit.

I don't know what else to say. But it feels cathartic to write all this out. Please let me find the inner strength to change myself. Please.


It all makes sense now.

When I finally connected the dots between my ED and porn, I laughed. I sort of couldn't believe how obvious it was once I accepted the notion.

The details are a bit murky for me on exactly when ED from porn started kicking in (or would've revealed itself with a real partner), because I was in a long distance relationship for four years that could've given the lack of physical contact in the movie "Her" a run for its money. I turned to porn to fill in for all the physical contact I wasn't having. Prior to this disastrous and waste of time of a relationship I did watch porn, but I didn't have ED and I definitely only used porn once in a blue moon. Once in a blue moon turned into twice a day, and I went through all the classic escalation that occurs from habitual porn usage. I didn't have some of the more extreme kind of binges (devoting tons of time, not participating in life, etc), but it was for sure an extremely important part of my routine without me even realizing it.

When I finally ended that relationship, I moved into something pretty quickly after that and much to my dismay, was as limp as a wet noodle rolling around in bed with a girl that had me mentally ready to jump her bones. I was a bit embarrassed, but explained it away due to being with someone new and it being the first time in forever. I remember coming home and questioning things and hilariously enough, I masturbated to porn to prove to myself I could still get it up easily enough. /shakes head. I tried again the next day and the same thing happened. I thought maybe I just wasn't ready to be in something physical and moved on shortly after.

Another few months went by and I ended up meeting a girl that fit every porn stereotype I love. She was completely tattooed up, attractive, and perverted as they come. This is the kind of girl I remember swearing would sexually make me the happiest dude ever. A little while later she stays over one night and even after buying myself time in other ways, I still couldn't get an erection. Panic time. She blamed it on herself (wouldn't listen to otherwise) so she just kept trying even harder and for weeks just nothing but avoidance of the issue or just disappointment as it was pretty much me just one way oral and rubbing. All the while, I am still looking at porn and getting erections almost the instant I say down in front of my computer. But yeah, again I must just be nervous even though I didn't feel it. /shakes head.

The past month I met another girl who I've gone a lot more slower with which is what I'm more comfortable doing anyway. We end up getting drunk at a party at her place, and start fooling around a bit without any intention for it to move to sex. I literally couldn't believe that rolling around and kissing this woman who I am immensely attracted to and care about wasn't making me hard, even if we talked about waiting for a while. I went home the next day and almost on a whim Googled "no erection without porn" and came across yourbrainonporn. My brain must have lit up like a Christmas tree reading even the basic description. This was it. This was why I wasn't getting erections to normal women but could get excited the instant I started searching for porn. It really just made me laugh. All I could do was laugh every few paragraphs because of how much it made sense. And all of the things I did to along the way to make myself feel better just made it so much worse. There's humor there at least for me. It was so much less funny when I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me or with what I was doing.

I stopped masturbating that night (18th of Jan) and went about a week without looking at anything. I caved in and looked at a few pictures yesterday and the rush was insane. Didn't masturbate, but I really wanted to and was angry that I couldn't. After a bit though I was infinitely more angry that I let something have this kind of hold on me.

I've read TheUnderdog's posts and I'm going to keep trying to put as little thought towards porn as I can. I'm looking for suggestions and encouragement with dealing with this consuming addiction. Thank you everyone for reading and for anything you have for me.

 

Comments

Thanks for this great resource. I discovered this site a few days ago and bookmarked it immediately after reading a few articles. I can relate entirely and this site has answered many questions I've had for years.

I started looking at Internet porn when I was 11. I immediately became hooked and spent hours daily viewing porn. Simply seeing a pair of exposed breasts was enough to get me off. Desensitization soon kicked in and I began developing fetishes over the years to get the same hit from porn. It started out with different ethnicities, then lesbians, then watersports, then scat/beastiality/BDSM/tranny, and then any combination of the above to create the sickest porn imaginable. I can remember sitting in grade school fantasizing about sick porn that I could search for that night.

Meanwhile, my sex life was non-existent. I had little to no desire to pursue women. I was completely oblivious to the damage I was doing. I thought it was funny that I could take care of my sexual needs without having to depend on women. In high school, mainly due to pressure from others, I got into a few relationships. I felt attraction, but the arousal did not compare to what I felt from porn. It was too bland. I never even tried to have sex with any of the girls since I preferred to go home and masturbate in front of the computer.

In my early 20s, I began to reflect on my life and realized I had a problem. I was still a virgin at 23 and lacked any form of confidence around women from inexperience. So, I decided to make a conscious effort to lose my virginity. I eventually did with an attractive girl, but I was barely aroused and couldn't get anywhere close to orgasm. I continued to have sex with other partners primarily for the self-esteem boost, but it was never sexually satisfying. The only way I could get off was to imagine porn scenes while having the girl give me a handjob. Despite this, I still didn't recognize that it was linked to mind-desensitization from porn and penile-desensitization from frequent masturbation.

I stumbled across a pick-up-artist site one day that recommended going without masturbation and porn to increase your desire to chase after women. I attempted this many times and typically caved in after a week or less despite obvious improvements in sex drive, but I did manage to greatly reduce the frequency of porn and masturbation sessions. I eventually timed it accurately to where I slept with a girl after going without porn or masturbation for nearly a week. After 20-30 minutes of having sex, I managed to reach orgasm through conventional sex for the first time. It was an awesome feeling that I never experienced after masturbation. At this point, I realized that the porn was a horrible vice.

Unfortunately, it's not that easy to recover after looking at porn for 13 years. While I'm turned on much more by sex than I was before, I still tend to relapse and start browsing for sick, fetish porn which starts the desensitization process over and sets back any progress that was made. I still have delayed ejaculation and don't feel very aroused during sex. Porn has also made me view women as objects. I rarely feel any sort of emotional attachment and I get bored quickly with girls. I'm decent-looking and have developed the ability to successfully talk to girls on a sexual level, so I've been with 30 to 40 girls in the past 2 or 3 years. This comes directly from porn where I would view one girl for a few minutes, get bored and watch another video, and on and on. I'm simply carrying this out in reality which involves way more risks.

But, this website has helped me recognize my problems and I finally feel a sense of clarity that I never have before. It's very difficult to find advice or direction when dealing with these issues.

I'm glad we could be of help. Have you had a look at this article -
Do You Need a Chaser After Sex?
http://yourbrainonporn.com/do-you-need-a-chaser-after-sex

Sometimes hot sex kicks in a desire for more sex, or porn use. It could play a part in relapsing into porn.

Let us know how you are doing.

Thanks!

I did not catch that article, but it seems to be accurate. I did a lot of experimentation with masturbation frequency and found the same to be true.

If I went a week without masturbation, the desire to do so would actually begin to decrease towards day 6 or 7. If I did masturbate or have sex at that time, my sex drive would be uncontrollable the following day and usually led to masturbation since I craved a quick-release.

I think this is one reason why I find morning-after sex so appealing even though it's only 6-8 hours after I last had sex.

Hello and sorry for posting this in a wrong place. I have always watched porn since I was 11 and watched porn magazines since I was 8 and also masterbated. Two years ago when I was 19, I hooked up with a girl which is now my gf and everything was great untill we were getting closer and ready to have sex for first time I realized that I had ED and I remembered watching porn even more to prepare me in case we have sex. When we had sex for first time I was not erect fully but still it felt so great. However, two days later we had sex and I was having trouble getting it up and when I did once I penetrated into her I felt nothing like I did 2 days prior. Now two years later I still dont feel anything like it should feel when I am in her. I had days where we can have sex for 3 hours or 30 sec and then I would have an orgasm but no plesaure during sex. During our relationship I have been watching porn maybe once a week till recently I have been trying to cut it out completley. Also it takes me a while to get it up and I dont feel aroused by looking at her just if we touch or I masterbate. I dont understand why this is happening. Maybe it's because of porn? I was never like this and when I saw her the first time ever I was getting horny but not any more. I also noticed that I have a habbit of looking at girls that look like the girls in porn when I am at school as if my brain is scaning for novelty. My gf and I have a wonderfull relationship and we are together to this day. I love her and I want to be with her because I know that she is beautiful and look better then any girl for me that I ever saw. DO YOU THINK MY LOSS OF SENSATION AND ED ARE PORN RELATED? Also I am healthy male.

I'm not doctor but I would suspect your decrease of sensation and pleasure are porn related. Starting at such a young age when the brain is so malleable leads to strong brain pathways for porn. Many guys who are hooked on porn have complaints similar to yours. The only way to find out is to give up all porn and see what happens.

Have you explored this question and all the associated links? It has lot's of stories of recovery from ED.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

Tools for Change button has links to many rebooting accounts

You can also post or create a blog on this forum.
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/
This site doesn't have much action when it comes to posts.

gary