I am 90 days porn and masturbation free. That’s 3 months. I really haven’t been aware of it in the last two months – its become normal and I don’t miss it. What has changed in this time and what is it like?
- I still have sex but I enjoy it so much more and I am more interested in it. And my wife too. We have two young kids but we look forward to the time we spend together and sessions are longer, more intimate and more interesting.
- I have more time to do productive things. Time I used to spend online on cams is now focused on work, developing my own business (which I had let slide) and interest in things I had forgotten that I had.
- I am more at ease with myself and with who I am around people. I don’t feel pathetic anymore. Indulging in cams and chasing free time to use cams left me with an empty feeling and a sense of loss. I would regret the time lost over hours that could have been used for other more pressing issues. I would feel ill at ease around people as I did not feel worthy and my self esteem was ebbing away. Ending the cam time also ended these negative aspects – they don’t disappear completely (everybody feels negative sometimes) but they are much easier to deal with.
How did I give it up? I knew my trigger. My trigger was being on my own, knowing I had at least two or three hours to myself in the house. As soon as everyone left that was it – I was online and straight on it. So instead of being alone I kept busy. I made sure I was not alone for the first month. And if I was I made sure to come on here and write instead.
That’s why I’m here now. I haven’t been home alone for about a month so now that I am, I come on here, share and that gets me through. It’s all about changing habits. We are creatures of habit and we repeat patterns, even if it is to our detriment. The older we are the harder it is to change them but we can do it. I am addicted to cams and I know if I go back to them I’ll be right back into my old habits but the longer I stay off them the longer I have to form new more positive habits which make me feel better. So that’s why I’m sticking with it.
LINK – Porn free
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