I have not shared this news with anyone but my mom who’s always been supporting me. Seems there’s no one around me, none of my friends who are interested to learn how I get there, but its fine, I try to learn how to be more modest without seeking attention. Yet tonight, I realized that the path to this day lead through lots of hardships and failures, and maybe to some of you this could be an inspiring story. By the way, today is my 29th days of no PMO, I am quite confident that I am gonna break free… because 6 years ago I have already done that once.
I’ve been an addict ever since I was 13, in my adolescence I used to be a low-key low esteem teenager who never had enough courage to even approach a girl. I was a failure, an outcast, and pornography was my fantasy world where I felt alive. I was really shy person and struggled a lot in social interactions, little did I know it was all because of porn
When I was 20, I had my first ONS with a girl I met through tinder. I arrived to her flat, we had a talk, wine, and after all night of chatting and drinking we decided to do it. But I couldn’t… my johnson didn’t work, she tried her best but she couldn’t make it hard. Embarrassed, I left in the morning, no need to mentioned I would be too awkward to meet her again. We never did
I asked myself many times why did it happen? At first I thought that maybe I was nervous, or maybe after a whole night of chatting I simply was too tired to make it. Yet it didn’t take much time for me to realize it was all due to porn. My decision? I stopped PMO immediately, I promised myself I will never do that again
Then, few months later I went to china. In China, Porn is not available online, which made it much easier for me to keep my track. When I was there… damn, the attention of woman, teenagers, exchange students was enormous. It was the best time of my life, suddenly I become super confident and I was able to catch as many girls as possible, I was living my life 1000%. I spent 6 years in China and I never had problems with sex or erection, always performing well, enjoying it.
Then I came back to my homeland, I found a gf, yet we weren’t a good match, no chemistry, I was getting bored with her and … I came back to Porn. And for the first weeks, years I didn’t feel it affected me. Yet after 2-3 years my erection problems started again. That time I understood, that its time to cut off porn finally, but surprisingly it wasn’t that easy. In recent 2 years I occasionally had some slipups, sometimes I watched porn but I was fighting. I was constantly urging myself not to do it. And I realized that… even though I did it sometimes, I have control over this.
Last 3 years I spent in my room, I promised myself that I leave until I make 1 million U$D. I was in the room, working online, limiting meaningless interactions to minimum. I made some good friends, I did some travels, but when IN my country I was locked it. No girls, no porn, until my job is done. Today… I feel that I am about to heal, I didn’t have sex in a long time but I didn’t feel I need it. I focused on a goal, understood that sometimes its okay I can fail, and I also constantly reminded myself of my prime version in China. I have trust the new chapter comes again
I would like to tell you, its never too late to change, and for the feeling that I experienced when in Asia… its definitely worth it, liberating, eye-opening, that’s much better than porn! You can do that. I promise you its worth it.