I was sweating. An unshakable grimace that I didn’t even know was there, expressed my inner torture. My grinding teeth crunched on my crashing thoughts:
I’ve got to tell him. What is he going to think? I don’t know what else to do. Oh Shit!
But if I don’t say it…
I’m screwed. I’ll lose my job.
I need help.
I hate this. I’m f***ed up.
I have to do it.
If he really knew me…
I don’t know if I can.
And on and on the convoluted dance went, as my thoughts jumbled and stepped on each other’s feet.
I tripped my way forward that first time I told my friend. I stumbled into the first steps of freedom.
That was some time ago. The first few times I talked about my struggles it felt like I was exposing myself. And I was. I was opening a door I swore I’d never open, to bring a friend into a room that I didn’t want to admit existed.
It was like that dream where you’re standing in front of the class and you’re not wearing any pants and you’re the idiot. Except I was choosing the dream.
That’s exactly what I’m inviting you to do.
Hidden in the nightmare of self disclosure is the ability to wake up one day, look yourself in the mirror and really like who you see. Maybe even love that person.
It is only in being known and loved that we can heal.
Whether you have told more than 500 people face-to-face (yes I’ve counted) or have only had the conversations in your own head, there is an opportunity.
As you share your story, you allow others to know you. You can’t be truly accepted unless you are deeply known. The most difficult things that you are compelled to do, whatever seems like it could cause the most damage, is often what is necessary for radical change.
Take the opportunity to tell someone your story.
Who will it be?
The tribe needs you just as much as you need the tribe.
Lone wolves don’t make it when it comes to finding freedom.
Josh @ rTribe
P.S. If you don’t have anyone you know that you are ready to tell, tell us. We can help find a group of other people who are rebooting for you to join. Read this to learn more
rTribe: A Smartphone App to help you track your reboot in community. Anytime. Anywhere. www.rtribe.org