I’m fortunate, in that I had a relatively normal sex life before Internet porn came along. Unfortunately, a lot of young men coming of age these days have never had that opportunity and their very first sexual experience is one of frustration and disappointment because of erectile dysfunction. Many such young men seek help via Internet forums and, in many cases, they are helped. Unfortunately, in some cases, these same young men are given some poor advice. Somewhere along the line the idea of using a prostitute to “rewire to sex with women” began to be advanced on some forums.
OK, there’s a lot of bad advice floating around human society, and when it comes to the subject of sex the instances of bad advice might well outnumber the instances of good advice. As advice goes, I would submit that suggesting a prostitute as a way to overcome ED has to be right up there at the top of the ‘bad-idea scale.’ I’ll discuss my reasons below.
I am writing from the United States of America and in 49 of the 50 states prostitution is against the law. Simply stated, if you visit a prostitute in any state except Nevada (and not all locations within Nevada), you are breaking the law. The prostitute is breaking the law as well. Being an illegal activity there is no regulation, no mandatory health checks, no screening of the people involved. Illegal prostitution is frequently connected with other illegal activities and the ethics of the people involved may not be of the highest order.
There are a number of places in which prostitution is legal and regulated. These regulations usually concern disease detection and prevention of the spread of disease. In places where prostitution is legal this may provide a measure of safety but I wouldn’t want to gamble my health on the efficacy of these measures.
When prostitution was outlawed in the United States the reasons were not moral or religious; it was to prevent spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Prostitutes are concentration points for STDs. They tend to have a very high exposure risk because of the numerous partners they entertain. Now, there is a lot of misinformation about STDs out there. If you were to design a system to transmit disease the most efficient way would be to share blood. If you were to receive blood from a person infected with a communicable disease you would have a fairly great likelihood of contracting that disease, the odds depending upon the nature of the disease and your immune system. Sexual intercourse is another efficient means of disease transmission. With unprotected sex there is exchange of bodily fluids and this is an opportunity for disease transmission.
Protected sexual intercourse is safer, but not completely safe. For one thing, condoms are known to tear or break. Condoms protect only the penis and vagina, not the surrounding tissues. An open lesion could transmit a disease relatively easily. Herpes is prominent in the United States affecting somewhere around 25% of the adult population. I would venture to say that many, many prostitutes are infected with herpes. While it is not particularly dangerous to your overall health and longevity, it is a lifelong condition, can be triggered by stress and might very well be a deal breaker if you are hoping to marry someone that is not infected. Herpes is dormant a great deal of the time but can flare up. Even when it is quiescent it can still be communicated to a sex partner. While condoms help to prevent the spread of herpes they do not necessarily protect fully. Herpes can infect tissue surrounding the actual genital organs; areas not protected by condoms.
HIV is a life threatening disease that can be managed with expensive medications but still takes a toll on the person under treatment. Without treatment it is normally fatal. In any event, contracting HIV is a life-changing matter and can only rob your life of quality. It can’t enhance it.
Performing oral sex on an infected woman can transmit gonorrhea to the male involved and I would imagine that a gonorrhea infection in the mouth would be one of life’s more unpleasant experiences. Gonorrhea can be asymptomatic in women and still infectious to their partners. While it is treatable with antibiotics there are some strains that are very resistant to such treatment and there is rumored to be an incurable strain of gonorrhea in the brothels of some Asian countries. Oral sex has also been associated with a rise in oral/throat cancers.
When one is in the heat of the moment all judgement tends to be pushed to the side. It’s not particularly uncommon for men to offer prostitutes more money for unprotected sex. Just remember this, if she’ll do it for you she’ll do it for others. I could think of few things more risky than unprotected sex with a prostitute.
If you are hooked on porn and crave the excitement it can provide it would be easy to trade addictions and become hooked on prostitutes. Remember, dopamine is increased by anticipation of something exciting or novel. If porn excites you and you choose to go to a prostitute you may find that the same sort excitement will come over you. You don’t want that to happen. I heard of a young man who squandered $9,500 on prostitutes before regaining his self control. Truthfully, prostitution is unlikely to live up to the expectations and excitement you might anticipate. It boils down to another form of the same sort of thing as porn addiction.
You Are Contributing to the Harm of Another Person
Prostitutes tend not to have happy lives. There may be an image of carefree, rollicking living, but the issues I mention above are faced by prostitutes every day. Prostitutes tend to have sad stories and, in many cases these are real cases of unfortunate events happening in someone’s life. Prostitution might be appealing as a quick fix for money problems but, in reality, it is frequently a trap and women who cross the boundary and sell their sexual favors sometimes find themselves falling back into the sex trade over and over again whenever money problems come along.
I don’t hate prostitutes or despise them in any way. Many are victims of one sort or another. They may be coerced into prostitution by criminals, by dominating husbands or boyfriends, or they may be supporting a drug habit and be unable to maintain conventional employment. In any event, you are doing them no favor by paying them to continue in “the life”. In time, 10, 20 or 30 years from now, this individual is very likely to have deep regrets about the choices he/she made. Don’t be a part of that.
Guilt and Disappointment
It might seem like a good idea when you are excited but afterwards there may be deep remorse. Most people end up pursuing a relationship with a loving partner. Sex with a stranger sounds exciting, but it is emotionally unfulfilling and unlikely to bring satisfaction that lasts more than a few moments.
Is that what you really want in life? Do you want a life of meaningless sexual encounters or do you want the emotional component to be present?
Don’t Worry, Your Penis Is Fine
ED in porn addicts is not a physical problem with the genitals. You don’t need to test to see if everything is working. If you were able to achieve and erection when masturbating to porn then your penis works and the problem is, literally, inside your head. You don’t need a prostitute to verify that everything is in order between your legs. Expect good sexual function and stay away from porn and masturbation. When the time comes, you’ll be fine. I never had ED from porn. in my case it was diminished interest in real sex that was the culprit. I’ve always expected good sexual function and I’ve always had good sexual function. It’s the normal order of things and it will work for you. Unless you are profoundly diabetic or have suffered a most unfortunate injury there is little reason to expect anything except good sexual function as long as you stay away from porn and masturbation.