I was a nearly daily user of porn while fapping for the last 12 years. Even while in a 5 year relationship. It only slowed down when we lived together, but even then I would sneak off to another room with my laptop or phone to bust one out. Last summer we split up. It hit me really hard.
Straight up depressed, consistently breaking down crying from day to day. I decided to make a lot of changes. One change was porn. I stopped in October and never broke. Though I found my way here today because I’m thinking of relapsing, I think out of boredom, or perhaps recent changes with work.
As to the effects, my view of women is much improved. Before I could never look/interact with an attractive woman without thinking about her sexually, nearly constantly. Often I might later masturbate with them in mind, solidifying this ‘women as sex objects’ problem. Now it is much easier to just think of them as normal people.
For a long while though I would become very irritated by any media with any sort of titillation. Advertisements, sexy scenes in film and TV, even video games with over-sexualized female characters. Even provocatively dressed women in real life would annoy me. I hated feeling like I was being manipulated, being forced to feel a specific something without my control or permission. I’d have to turn away or shut it off to keep from getting too angry.
Gradually the anger faded, and now I can enjoy a little beauty or mild titillation without falling into a bunch of frustrated sex fantasies and just enjoy it for what it is, something interesting to look at.
Lastly, fapping generally has slowed a lot. I don’t feel a daily pressing need anymore. I did no-fap for February, which was a bit agonizing for parts, but now it’s much more reasonable. I only really feel a strong urge after about a week, and otherwise masturbation is just kind of boring so I do other, better things with my time.
Well that’s all. Feel free to hit me with questions.
LINK – 8 months later – 243 days
by GWJ_DanyBoy
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