The following "ED recovery story" pages contain shorter accounts.
For longer, more detailed ED accounts see Rebooting Accounts and External Rebooting Blogs & Threads
Hello guys! I'm 27, I'm a doctor and I've been experiencing the same problem as you all. I've been watching porn during my entire sexual life. My first orgasm was when I was 14 and I was watching porn when that happened.
The first girl I kissed was when I was 13 and my first sexual relationship happened when I was 16 with a strange woman and, by then, I didn't get a bonner.In the beginning, when Internet wasn't available, I used to buy tapes, latter DVDs but these types of porn usually do not provide you such an intense experience as the Internet. For example: if your fetish is cumming on the face of a woman, if you're on the internet, you can go straight to the scene, and therefore you experience a more intense orgasm
Well, continuing with my story, during my adolescence, every time I kissed a girl I used to get a bonner. After my first traumatic sexual experience (with an unknown girl) in my late 16s, I then got a girlfriend when I was 18. My first sexual experience with her was also a failure, but the next ones (over the whole 7 months we dated) was fine. An important information is that I rarely cummed when penetrating, usually had to stop and finish the job with my hand. After that, I experienced a hard time on med school because I had to study a lot and almost didn't have time with girls. The few experiences I had, I was able to get bonners but rarely got to the climax penetrating (1 or 2 times).
After I was 22, there was a boom of free xvideos in the net and, as I was addicted to porn, I went through this path, with more and more extreme sex situations being watched. As you can imagine, I started experiencing some more traumatic experiences. I started not having bonners even when I was kissing girls. As the things got worst, 100% of my masturbation's happened watching porn and I started avoiding situations with women because I had ED. It was until my late 26's that I started suspecting about porn as being the cause of my erectile dysfunction. I suspected because when I masturbated in the bathroom, I couldn't get it hard and when I was able to do it, I had to imagine porn scenes to do so. I even tried to take viagra to have sex with a girl but it didn't work (this is typical of porn related erectile dysfunction (PRED) About 5 months ago I decided to quit watching porn and I'm having several relapses happening frequently. Although confident of my condition, my sexual emotionality is so heavily attached to porn that I'm having a hard time quitting it. But I'm starting to have better situations happening in my life. 2 days ago, I brought a girl to my place, and despite the fact that I didn't had that "really hard" bonner I was able to penetrate the first time. I also needed my hands to finish the job. The girl wanted more, but I wasn't able to get it hard again. What I can tell you about how to get rid of PRED is:
Admit your condition
Get away of PORN. If you can't do it, search for psychological assistance
Try to *** only with a woman with you
If you have a hard time getting with a woman, you should pay for it. Tell her about your condition and ask for help. If she is a professional, she will understand
Make your brain recognize new patterns. For example, if you can't *** penetrating, simply do not ***. With time, your brain will recognize the penetration as the way it has to get pleasure.
If you can't live without masturbating, because of your emotional lability, do it, but DO NOT THINK OF PORN SCENES when masturbating.
Do not masturbate too fast: try to make your brain recognize slower speed (as in penetration) as the pattern of speed that it's supposed to ***. If you can't *** with slow speed, don't ***.
If you can follow these instructions I guarantee that in 3 month at most, you'll get a normal pattern of sexual life. Of course, it's almost impossible to follow these, because you have emotional barriers that eventually will break your rational orders. I'm having a hard time doing that, but as I keep trying, it's doubtless improving my performance. I hope that my experience with that will help some of you. I consider my case one of the most difficult (my first sexual orgasm was watching porn - this is a heavy emotional print) but hopefully I will have some day a normal sexual life. Aware others of the danger of porn.
DAY 48- I FEEL AMAZING Wow.
Words cannot describe how great I feel!I feel so much in control of my emotions! I never hear any negative self-talk anymore!I have energy for days. I wake up ready to take over the world.Big boosts in confidence and the best part...WOMEN ARE FLOCKING TO ME!
Tuesday, I picked up two chicks. Made out with one of them. Number closed the other one. Me and her have been talking. She said she loved the fact that it looked like I didn't care if I got her or not. There was even one point where I walked away from her because she was playing so many games.I had this great feeling of not caring about what she thought about me. It was either you were down to enjoy each other or your not. Plain and simple..She went up to my homeboy, beat him up, and got my number from him lol.
We went to the club together couple of days later and were all over each other. So much magnetism. Made out and all that good stuff. It was the first kiss in since a girl I dated in college where I felt energy. I felt alive. I felt like we were "feeling" each others spirit.
I went to the club yesterday. The very second I got in a chick was eying me soooo hard like wanted me. I talked to her and found out she had a boyfriend. But yea she was still looking at me as if she wanted me so bad. My friend even commented about how she looked like she wanted to tear my clothes off. She walked away from me. In hindsight, I know she wanted me but got frustrated and left lol such a retarded tease move. Hey don't give me DTF eyes if you have a boyfriend!
Then there was a chick standing next to me dancing and I said one sentence to her and started dancing all over me. And we connected. Got her number
At the same time, she was playing games so I moved on to the next
Then I started talking to another girl and we started making out. I would like to point out: I HAVE NEVER MADE OUT WITH A RANDOM CHICK IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. LET ALONE TWO IN ONE WEEK!!!
The kiss was so beautiful. We both felt the magnetism. She even stopped half way through and started sighing and deep breathing because the kiss was so epic. We made out like three times. Got her number
I feel like she thought, I thought she was easy or something but I really didn't. The kiss was soooo epic.
(i need some advice. i really felt as if she thought she was easy or slutty and it made her want to pull back. i called her after the club and left a funny voice-mail and she hasn't hit me back. should i just leave it alone? or wait a few days? i was really attracted to her and i know she was attracted to me)
The girl I mentioned from college where I felt an intense connection with, I thought she was my soulmate and I thought I was never going to find that feeling again....I was doomed to live with the fact I was never going to connect to someone again and never finding someone like her.....
but wow I am blown away. it happened twice in one week. I have this feeling I can have this magnetism with anyone I allow myself to connect with.
The kisses were so dam epic!!!
I no longer look at women as sex objects. I look at them as if they are pretty or not. Plain and simple. No images of them sexing me or anything.
I am 100% sure they can pick up on this. I don't feel like a horn dog or that I have to manipulate them to to sleep with me. Its either you want to enjoy my company or not.
I also can "feel" things and I can feel "people". It was pretty weird when I had a glimpse of this early in the reboot, but now it's a lot more subtle. I really don't know how to explain it. I feel like I am entering a new world. I saw someone else mention they feel as if they are Neo in the matrix....I completely relate.
All this stuff has been happening to me in a great and positive way. Picking up chicks is sooooooo easy now. So easy.
This is just a very small snippet of what has been going on. I have collected so many numbers and I have gotten so much work done, its ridiculous. I feel as if I quantum leaped!
My control of speech is amazing. I never stutter now and my voice has so much more force to it. Looking back at the old me, I feel like I was a bitch. I cant even say the "old me" because I don't feel that person at all anymore. I went through a metamorphosis and I feel so much better as a person.
To everyone out there who reads this and you are still struggling, I am asking you....please stop PMO! It easily is one of the best decisions I have ever made in life. No more relapsing and no more struggling. Just stop.
There is a beautiful world on the other side and an amazing person waiting to meet you....yourself.
I just made 60 days. I wish I had some good advice for the guys just starting off and having a hard time of it. We'be all been there (and may be there again if we let our guard down), but it took divorce to shake me up enough to stop the porn. I don't wish that for anyone.
I do have some observations about my own situation:
I still masturbate and often it is several times a day. I'm going to abstain during December and see if that helps with my ED.
Coming here is my greatest weapon against temptation. My urges aren't too bad, but they are still there. When they show up, I come straight to this subreddit.
Things get better, but slowly. My ED is getting better with occasional bursts of nearly my old self again. I also had my first erotic dream in years last week. Hopefully things will be back to normal by next summer.
Good luck and good choices to all of us.
After the 90-day period of abstinence from porn/masturbation, I noticed that I was more sensitive than before, and that I didn't need any other stimulation to make me horny. Also the semen leakage stopped. I have been the most interested in women and have ended up in bed with them during my experiments with low frequency of masturbation.
I am not doing hard mode, but I am not masturbating or looking at porn...
My new girlfriend and I got intimate last night. I was a bit nervous at first, hoping that the pledge (which I was on day 12) would help with my problems. Safe to say I got a good hard on, not rock solid but enough to make me happy. My girl gave me head and it was amazing. I felt everything that I didn't when I was constantly jerking off. When I came I felt like I blacked out for a second. It was so good and I started cursing so much that she laughed.
Yeah, I am going to keep doing this and guys...keep strong...this avoidance of our vices works. LINK
ED recovering after 2 weeks. Progress.
I have successfully done nofap for a month a year ago. This was enough to rid my issues (ED) and I continued with my life, fapping once a week. After a dark period in my life I found myself fapping more and more.
I am doing easy mode no fap, I have a gf and we are sexually active. Reading progress reports are really motivating for me and I wanted to contribute to this community.
I don't believe all the dogma of this subreddit but I can see that it sets everyone on the right track. We have all joined for various reasons and we have to cater our specific goals to realistic outcomes.
With my abstinence I have found that I am much more in the moment, I don't worry nor do I feel a lack of confidence in my actions. I feel really liberated, as if I have nothing to hide. I have more energy and drive. I want to go out and meet people and I want to show myself off because I feel damn proud. I guess it could be misconstrued as arrogance but I am really happy with my progress.
I've had sex a number of times this week and my boners feel harder and longer lasting. I have thought about it and I have come to the conclusion that Nofap has wired my brain into confidence.
When you are kissing a woman and her clothes begin to disappear and you feel that sensation between your legs that you used to feel when you would get ready to watch porn, its really truly an amazing feeling. For those of you out there who haven't gotten their yet, the key is found in my last post. You gotta stay the fuck away from porn, NO MATTER WHAT.
You can still jerk off but the key is to become less and less dependant on it! You want to teach yourself that you really don't need it. The other key is simply to go out and find women to fool around with. Are you scared? Stop being a fucking pussy and just do it.
Before I started this healing process, I was having trouble with erections. I was needing more and more types of stimulation from porn and it still was not helping. I was getting really worried about the whole thing. It had been getting worse and worse for a couple years. The anxiety just helped push me deeper into porn as it went along. Hard to believe I could keep getting deeper into it. I mean I probably used every type of porn image and video out there except for child porn. What scares me is, could I have gone that route, too, one day? Now I will never know. I am very grateful for that at least.
The more I go without porn masturbation and orgasm, the more difficult it becomes to not get an erection. LOL. Yeah, I have had one or two times in the last few weeks where I had to calm myself or be embarrassed.So in my round about way I am trying to say that if you stay away from porn and masturbation your sexual desire will go up. It will go up in a good way. OK, that sounds funny rereading it. Did not mean it that way - bad wording. It is a serious topic and touchy. I know.
My sexual experiences in college were horrifying... total inability to have any kind of erection while making out, etc., very low libido. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I knew it wasn't good. I was aware of being completely unable to relax my PC muscles when I would be with a girl. Of course, I could masturbate quite easily... and did so very often, usually with visual aid. From around age 22 I stopped all porn and masturbation.
Now, I have not a trace of any kind of ED. I am very sexually healthy now and have very strong, long lasting erections with very little encouragement necessary. I am now just kind of disgusted when I see pornography, even scantily clad women on magazine covers... boring! Hard to believe it ever had any effect on me.
I can't think of anything I've done for my own health and well-being that tops giving up porn and masturbation. It is soooo totally worth it. Not that you should never touch yourself again... I find the male deer exercise to be one of the best ways to wake up in the morning. You just have to get completely out of your head when it comes to sex- no fantasy! Be present and relaxed... preferably with a loving partner.
(University student) It has been a week since I started my "rebooting."...One thing I've noticed for sure is an increase in erections - I get them every morning now, and they are rock hard. Most of the nights as I'm waiting to fall asleep, I notice I'm able to get an erection just by letting my thoughts wander and without even touching myself. This is a marked improvement from even a week ago. I suffer from ED, but I feel like if I had a woman in bed with me this morning, I couldn't have been able to stop an erection if I wanted to! Even with a condom, which has always been a show-stopper for me.
With regards to my own situation - the correlation between porn and ED couldn't be clearer - ED hit me from out of nowhere and devastated my psyche. However, I'm glad to say that after cutting out porn and masturbation completely for the past month, everything is returning to normal and I've seriously never felt better.
yourbrainonporn = Seriously true sh!t. I still fap, but just stopped watching porn altogether and I'm popping narb's [no apparent reason boners] again like when I was 15. It's crazy.
I am in my late 30's, have used porn heavily since my teens, and have had ED problems for a long time - at least since my late 20's, though it's only recently that it's become almost total copulatory ED. I've blamed it on partners ("I'm just not attracted to you"/"I wish you were more responsive"), the newness of partners ("I need to give my body time to catch up to my brain"), fitness levels, diet, age, stress, performance anxiety...and actually, all of those, except for the "I'm just not into you" factor, probably have a part to play. But when I realized I could no longer even masturbate to orgasm without porn - something clicked. It seems blindingly obvious now, of course.
I definitely can relate to this. I'm 28 years old and a former collegiate athlete. My situation my not have been as extreme as others but abstinence from porn and reduced masturbation definitely help with psychological ED. If the urge becomes too great, masturbate to fantasies in your head. After a few weeks I felt better and had more confidence in the bed with women. Porn is the only thing I have ever become dependent on and I drink and used to smoke cigs and weed. Go figure.
I stopped viewing porn on August 13th. Since then I have masturbated only twice. I'm having wonderful sex with my new girlfriend several times a week. Porn is tempting but it will never make you happy. Don't be afraid, just give it up! Stopping porn will heal the porn addiction. Stopping masturbation temporarily will drastically speed up the process by restoring sensitivity to your penis and allowing your sexual energy to peak. Indulging in masturbation infrequently after that point is good. Moderation is key.
MEDHELP - JohnBlack0071
I'm 41 and divorced and I too was addicted to porn, now I've been off porn for the last five years, but I still watch it maybe 2-3 times a month but I don't masturbate to it anymore, I keep my sexual energy for real women now, and my erections are harder and longer.
I'm enjoying the single life now to it's fullest, but I hope to find that special woman to spend my life with, and this time she will have my entire attention and all the sex she wants. lol
Hang in there guys there's hope, it's not going to be easy but is doable, I had to relearned how to be intimate with a woman, to let myself go, to want to give her pleasure instead of only focusing on my pleasure. When we're masturbating to porn the only thing we care about is our pleasure it's easy, we don't have the "pressure" of making the other person orgasm.
It cost me my marriage, for me to understand that women needs to feel desired, appreciated and that we understand them.
If I can do it, anyone can do it, it will take time and patience but the reward at the end is worth it.
Day 45 - (advice to another forum member) I was flatlining like muthaf***** but when i started making out with a girl recently my dick just suddenly came alive. :-) Just get out and about, and be in female company as much as you can be. Your libido will come back. You just got to point it in the right direction. Are there any females in your life or anyone you're interested in? Just get out there bro.
[ age 53 ] The only spontaneous erections that I get are when I am "playing" with my wife. Prior to my reboot, and because of my PM addiction, It was very difficult for me to get any kind of erection when I was with her - ED related to porn. Now I am having no problem at all, which is major improvement for me, and I am able to keep my erections. Do I get erections when I see other women? No. Why? Whenever I do see a very attractive woman, I no longer look at her as sex object wondering in my mind what she would be like in bed. Porn did that to me. Women just became body parts to me and not real people.
So if I do see an attractive women, I admire her beauty for a moment, but immediately look away and focus in on something else - besides lust - I save that for my wife.If you're a single guy, I can see where you would be more interested in seeing more spontaneous erections whenever you see other women. For me that is not important. What is important to me is that my erections are back for the one I love. And they are.I hope this helped answer your question.
I'm on day 33 of no P/M. Yesterday I had successful sex twice, this is following my first ever climax through penetrative sex on day 28.If anyone is doubting whether quitting P/M sorts out your erectile dysfunction, please don't it, actually does work.It was only weeks ago I was almost resigning myself to a life without proper sex. Now I feel almost reborn and have a lot of catching up to do.However many weeks each individual person needs, its a small sacrifice to fix an important aspect of your life, honestly the first couple of weeks are the toughest, after that, it flew by for me.
I am here just trying to give you a splash of hope. I am a person who believed that there is no hope at all that I can be a normal person again & enjoy sex. After 12 yrs of p addiction & dramatic excessive pmo habit that reached into threatening number, I believed that I have to cope with being asexual for good. Also forget about any dreams of being in a relationship or having a kid one day.
In real, I was wrong. Cause there is hope. Yesterday night I had full sexual relation with success. It was the first time I have sex for 8 years. After rebooting/rewiring for 115 days, eliminating p & mo. I have been a bit in need for high stimulation & also had some PE. I am definitely not totally healed yet, & still in need for long time to say that I am really healed. However I have passed from the worst period of my life, & hopefully these issues can be fixed with time.
This is not a full success story. It is still early to write a full success story, which gonna have loads of details. But I was just interested in giving everybody here hope. If anybody is physically fine, just suffering with pied and believes that there is no way out, I would like to say that there is reliable path to heal.
I had the same problem as you. From the way I see you write you sound hopeless. No offence but if you can't get over yourself to want to get better you never will. I had the same problem as you, EXACTLY the same. ED from porn. I couldn't get it up except for a hand-job or blowjob, and then I could only sustain it for a min or so.
Even if I managed to get it up I also had Premature Ejaculation, so I would only last 2 or 3 thrusts. It took months of dedication and self-motivation to overcome it, and now I couldn't be happier! And I am about to hit a year since I started fixing my ED and Pre-E. You have to get over your mental barriers before you can move on! I recommend to create small goals, start with 3 days without masturbating to porn. Then reward yourself the next day. Then go 4 days, or however you see fit.
Just by saying to yourself, "I will never masturbate to porn again" will only make you depressed when you find out it is impossible! Also, if you do mess up and watch porn when your not supposed to pick yourself up before you make yourself fall. It takes practice but don't let it get to you.This is coming from someone who sees a little bit of himself in you.
ANYTHING is possible! I proved that to myself. You can do it. Goodluck.
Aaaand....90 days fixed me!!! Thanks NoFap (self.NoFap)
To start this off - I think everyone should do the challenge - Even if they are not what they consider to be addicted. I think everyone's definition on that term would vary. To me, even in high school I wouldn't say I was addicted to PMO, but I watched it every night. I came to college and drastically reduced, but worked my way back up to about 3-4 times a week. Even that was enough to give me a ED/PE combo. No fun for the ego.
Anyway, I'm here to report that I have had successful sex since after my counter reached 90 days. I didn't feel like I was fully erect but at least 80%+ (and enough to have fun :D), which is why I will be continuing. Before the 90 days, I couldn't get erect at all. I'd love to help anyone that needs it for any advice, please respond or PM!!!
Ok yesterday I finished my 8 weeks with no PMO and I had sex with my girlfriend. I stayed hard throughout foreplay and throughout sex. In all I probably stayed hard for about 25 minutes. I didn't have P thoughts going through my head and i just concentrated on the feeling in my c*ck
I wanted to go the whole of September and October without PMO (61 days) but last night we were fooling around in bed together and i just thought oh well may as well go for it coz at 56 days technically that IS 8 weeks
Surprisingly the orgasm, which I had been worried/excited about was very disappointing. It didn't last long and felt like no other orgasm i have ever had before. It's hard to explain the difference, all i can say is that that feeling you get in your head when you orgasm just wasn't there. It's like I was clear-headed as i came which felt odd but not very satisfying at all. Still, after 8 weeks, i suppose it's not surprising that it was very different to normal. I just kind of assumed it would be the most amazing one I’ve ever had.
Anyway it's too early to say if this has worked yet for me. I still get porn flashbacks in my head that I still find very erotic. I'm going to stay off the P and the M and the fantasy. If I do give in and M I will do it to sensation only and keep a blank mind.
LINK - rcfergie5
To make the long story short, my porn addiction started when I was 9-10 yo looking at naked women on the computer (Internet wasn't as fast as it is now though) Little did I know my ED was developing, even in high school, no real girl could arouse me (because at the time I thought "she isn't the right girl for me"), unless I hadn't been looking at porn for a while, but then I ended up relapsing, my addiction got really bad when I got my iPod touch at 18 (I'm 20), it was easier for me to hide the addiction from my parents, even though they had found pictures on the device and I kept "swearing" I'll never look at porn again.
I'd gotten to the point where I could cum before I acheived an erection. But My worst, lowest point was about 7 months ago, when I was watching a college sex video (potential trigger here) on a free-streaming porn site, and I realized there was something wrong with me when I couldn't even get hard jerking off to it at all. No orgasm, no erection, no arousal, no anything.
I stopped watching porn for 10 days after that, even though I edged at day 6, that was all well before I discovered yourbrainonporn and reuniting, which was over 3 months ago. Anyway, my erection was much better since I'd been taking L-arginine after I was talking the 10 days off porn that last year. Little did I know though that my addiction to porn and masturbation had been the culprits to my ED problem the whole time, it even affected me socially and in a lot of areas.
It's now been 79 days since I started the reboot, and my spontaneous erections and morning wood have been much more frequent and getting stronger, the positive results have been even more profound ever since I've recently applied the law of attraction into my life (about a week ago), now people, men and women, treat me so much better with my new found self-confidence and completely positive attitude! I've even began to show my sexuality! My erections are still not @ 100% strength, nor is my full potential still showing, but they're getting there! At least because of the LOA, I've been beating PMO more easily by the day, now the thought of looking up naked girls on the Internet doesn't faze me.
Probably wouldn't be a virgin right now if it weren't for my Porn induced ED
I'm a 24 year old virgin but I believe I wouldn't currently be a virgin if it wasn't for this porn enduced ED that I have and all the confidence problems that come with it.
First time I had a chance with a girl was when I was 17 and long story short, she was naked on my bed but I couldn't do anything about it because I couldn't stay hard... pretty big punch in the stomach for a 17 year old. That encounter just crushed my confidence with women and I've always been afraid of taking things that far with women because I'm afraid the same thing will happen again. I've had numerous opportunities that I feel I kind of backed out of or didn't pursue with the same kind of confidence I would have if I didn't have that memory burnt into the back of my head telling me: "it'll just happen again".
Back then when I was 17 I was watching A LOT of porn and at the time I didn't know that the porn was causing this but since then I've realized that my ED is actually caused by my addiction to fapping to porn because one time I went to a family trip to a summerhouse for 2 weeks where I had no access to any sort of porn and since I was so used to fapping to porn I basically couldn't fap without it... so I didn't fap at all! After the 14 weeks I noticed that I suddenly had no problems getting an erection that lasted forever and could fap with my imagination alone for a powerful orgasm (something I couldn't do before) and this effect seemed to last until I started watching porn again.
This was a true eye opener for me but I've tried several times to stop watching porn since then and always relapsed and never gotten beyond the 14 day mark, but now I've realized that I'm 24 years old and if I'm ever going to get my confidence back and finally lose my virginity I'm going to have to stop watching porn RIGHT NOW! I'm now telling myself this every single time I feel an urge coming on and that is a huge motivator for me, as well as visiting this subreddit and reading you guys' success stories.
I started becoming sexually active when I was 15. I could get it up whenever for whoever. I had a girlfriend for a long time as a teenager and we were both very happy with our sex lives; to this day the best sex I've had. Eventually things ended with us and it was devastating for me. Around this time (maybe a year before) porn tube channels were making their debut.
I need to point something interesting out. I don't think I'm an addict in the sense that I spent hours a day looking at porn, I never did that. At the most I would spend 30 - 45 minutes, but that wasn't that often. What I think killed my sex drive is that I would depend on porn. I would PMO roughly 5 times a week, sometimes twice a day, shuffling through videos to find the right one, for ~30 minutes at a time. So while not as severe as some, I still believe this is the main contribution to my lackluster sex drive.
I was 20 years old and in college when I first experienced ED with a girl. I had been drinking all day (it was my birthday) and attributed it to that (which definitely added to it). The next morning tried again and nothing, particularly because I was terrified of what happened the night before. As the story goes, the next four years of my sex life were very mediocre. I could get it up for girls but had to rush to put condoms on, also not really feeling too much whenever I met a new girl or spent the night with her. I continued to PMO 4 - 5 times a week without even thinking twice. I blamed my lack of sex drive on drinking (which doesn't help, I don't drink much anymore), on diet, on lack of exercise, on stress. I've improved all of these things, and yes I have seen an improvement but not near a full recovery. After finding information about rebooting I decided I'd give it a try, and I'm already seeing some interesting results.
So this is where my journey begins
I'm on day 10 and my sex drive has been up and down. Can't say that I'm in a flatline period, but some days it feels like that. I feel more energetic, and restless. Feeling slightly manic at times, but it subsides with exercise. Last night I had the first sex dream I've had in years where I was completely turned on hooking up with a girl. I was sitting next to her watching a movie and was drunk with passion and just went for it, something I hadn't felt since I was 20. What I mean is, I woke up with huge wood. Oh, and the girl was Tina Fey.
Recovered from ED, much more confident in general.
I started a journal back in April but was bad about keeping it up to date. Since April 3rd I haven't looked at porn but I have masturbated on and off after a month of rebooting. After a couple months into the reboot I noticed my confidence level was soaring and anxiety was minimal (long history with anxiety).
I've recently been seeing a girl and normally I'd be worried about having sex and having problems putting condoms on or rushing to insert so I wouldn't lose it. Last weekend (possible trigger?) she gave me two blow jobs which I was very sensitive to, all she had to do was go near my dick and it would respond to her touch. Now, today we had sex for the first time and I wasn't worried at all how I would perform, I just felt much more confident and knew that the reboot was working. Sure enough, no condom issues, no anxiety and had good sex. She wanted it again a few hours later and STILL no issues.
I wouldn't say I'm completely back yet and I've read many reports where things still get better after 5 - 7 months go by of rewiring. I look forward to things getting even better, but for now I'm super happy.
I hope this helps some of you guys out, stay with the reboot.
48 days then reset--my body's vastly different reactions to sex and PMO
I started nofap for pretty typical reasons. I saw the TED talk, visited YBOP and realized that a lot of my ED problems and relationship problems were due to fapping constantly for the last 20+ years (I'm 36).
I lasted about 40 days before PMO. (I'm resetting now, so if my badge still says 48, the reset just hasn't gone through yet). Before reset I experienced the following effects:
- Major increase in energy and libido
- After the first week, steady improvement with ED issues
- After two weeks, disappearance of ED issues
- A brief flatline of about 5 days somewhere during the third week
- Increased confidence (although I attributed that to the ED getting better--I was no longer afraid of taking a woman home and not being able to perform)
- Found it much easier to look people in the eyes and hold their gaze
That last one was the only really surprising one. I kind of expected the rest based on what I had learned and common sense, but had discounted a lot of the "I'm now a sexual magnet!" and "I can sense ovulating women from miles away!" kinds of superpower claims. But I did see someone point out the eye contact thing a few weeks ago on nofap, and it was definitely true for me.
Anyway, I was pretty sexually active during this time. I didn't have sex for the first 8 or 9 days, but then started having sex a couple times a week for the rest of the time. My sexual performance had definitely improved. I was no longer constantly worried about losing my erection so I could take my time. It was all a lot more enjoyable, too. I didn't last as long, but that wasn't a problem, since I'd always lasted too long before and now I was going for just about the right amount of time for the most part (there was maybe once that I came too quickly, but it was fine--we just had sex again soon after).
Eventually I relapsed. I won't bore you with the details, but it was pretty typical. I let my guard down and then proceeded to PMO three or four times over the course of about a day.
The crazy thing for me was how substantially different the effect was from fapping than it was from sex. When I'd had sex, I felt satisfied afterwards, and happy, but my sexual appetite returned pretty quickly. I still had "the fire." After PMO I felt satisfied and happy as well (just speaking the truth), but my sexual appetite didn't return. I had a desire for more PMO, but the fire was gone--I had less energy, lower libido, less attraction to women, less energy, etc.
It's now been almost a week and things are starting to get back to where they were before, thankfully. In a way, I'm glad I relapsed, because I got to really experience the drastic difference between PMO and real sex. I knew PMO had been holding me back, but until this happened, I still kind of harbored this feeling in the back of my mind that the benefits I was receiving just came from reducing the number of orgasms, not actually reducing the amount of porn and masturbation. Turns out, I was wrong.
I know this is long, but I just wanted to add one thing--I'm incredibly grateful to have found this subreddit, and to all of you. It's increasingly clear to me now that several excellent relationships I've had in the past have failed in large part because of PMO. I find myself single at 36, which isn't the worst thing in the world, but not where I thought I'd end up. Some people never do. For all you guys who are getting onto this in your college years or early twenties, count yourselves lucky. Actually we should all count ourselves lucky, even the older dudes. I sometimes start feeling sorry for myself and regretting the issues PMO has caused in my life, but then I look on the bright side--at least I've finally figured this out. There's always time to turn things around. So, thanks.
tl;dr I was on nofap for 40 days, but having sex. The sex would leave me satisfied, but my sexual appetite would come back quickly. Then I fapped, and my libido disappeared again and I lost "the fire" completely. A week later it's starting to return.
Saw my gf yesterday and luckily she was on her period, so no stress. She did give me a hand and b-job, but I did not O. BUT it felt completely different. No longer painful or awkward, but much, much nicer. Finally enjoyable. My erection was really hard with her for the first time. This is such a motivation.
Definitely a big first, very noticable improvement.
It has been 8 days since I PMO'd and that is my longest streak. Been doing 4-7 days without a few times before, but I don't feel the need for it anymore. So glad. Trying to stick to it. But I don't want to rush the healing process...
Keep you posted.
I've posted on here a bunch, but I've never done a blog entry (LINK). I just wanted to share with you some of my positive experiences. I think I almost got this thing licked.
A little background: Last year (around June) I suffered from some of the worst ED I have ever experienced in my life. Since then, I have tried to quit pornography for good in attempt to cure it. I've relapsed more times than I can remember, but as things progressed it seems like they were getting better.
I am currently almost 90 days into my latest reboot. I feel better than ever.
A few words of hope, inspiration, and advice for anyone going through this:
1. In the past when I have attempted to reboot. I would always cut too many corners. I would take any sign of progress as an excuse to return to bad habits. For instance, this is the first reboot I have attempted where I have abstained completely from masturbation. Doing this makes a big difference. In the past, I would take a wet dream as a sign that things were functioning normally, and I can go back to sex and masturbation. WRONG. The way I feel now vs before, there is no comparison. I have only had two orgasms since this reboot began. One the cause of a wet dream, and the other from a sexual encounter (there was no condom so I don't know if I would have been able to have had actual sex). I am aware that at some point I will have to get back to masturbating, but for now I want to wait at least 100 days, hell maybe even longer to get back into it.
2. I don't crave porn. I sometimes have flashbacks, but I have no desire to masturbate to or watch porn anymore. In fact, because of the nature of my work, every now and then, I sometimes have to look at sexy, sometimes erotic, sometimes downright pornographic images. These have a totally different effect on me than they used to. I no longer get the crazy buzzing in my head. No longer crave to search out a million similar images, and most importantly, no longer do I get trapped in the compulsive loop of looking porn and masturbating to it for countless hours at a time.
3. A lot of my compulsive behaviors have totally disappeared. Aside from porn, my other big addiction was comic books. I no longer have the desire to buy comics, and only have a slight desire to ever read them. It's really weird being around my comic book buddies and realizing what a waste of time all that was. I'm on the verge of maybe selling my collection some time soon. Of course, it's possible I've just traded one addiction for another, as I am currently obsessed with blogging, but at least that is a healthier pastime, and one that costs no money.
4. I'm starting to get lots of erections, riding the train in the morning. A week after the above mentioned sexual encounter, I felt like I had the ability to have healthy and normal sex. I can't wait to find a willing partner to test this assumption.
5. Emotionally, at the moment I don't feel stable because of other troubles in my life, and the surge of confidence that may have come early on in the reboot seems to be gone. The only positive difference I feel now from before is that when I feel down, I never feel the urge to look at porn to feel better. I occasionally feel the urge to masturbate to feel better, but it's never a strong enough urge that I give in.
6. The chaser effect seems to be a thing of the past. I had a wet dream and was able to easily control the urge to start masturbating again. I Oed with a girl, and I don't feel the need to look at porn.
7. When I think about sex and fantasize it's about real sexual encounters and real women. And when I go out in public I take much greater notice of women's beauty. And the arousal I get is not the same as the engulfing porn-buzz that was really not the urge for sex, but the urge to get behind a computer screen with my pants around my ankles.
That's all I can think of for now. Hopefully this will help someone out. While I've made progress in the past year, I can't say I really knew what a reboot felt like until this most recent attempt. The acid test however will be my ability to perform sexually when the time comes. I'll keep you guys informed when it happens.
LINK -Porn free for about six weeks; thrilled by recovery
About three months ago, I failed to have a sufficient erection to penetrate my lovely wife. I had been experiencing some degree of ED for basically my whole sexually active life, but it had never been so completely debilitated. I was depressed, confused, and felt impotent.
I began researching, and finally found some material on what porn does to your brain. I learned that fundamentally, using porn was a choice to give up reality for fantasy. I lost my desire to watch it. Sometimes I craved it, but once I made the choice to give up my fantasy world, those compulsions which had held me for years finally lost their grip on me.
My recovery was not perfect. I viewed porn again incidentally quite often, but I generally ignored it. I masturbated once while asleep, and stopped once I woke up. I had sex with my wife and orgasmed manually with much effort twice in my six week recovery period, both towards the beginning. Same old ED problems both times, although not as bad as in recent days.
Six days ago, I went on a five day vacation without my wife to visit my family. Yesterday night, my wife and I got back together for our own Christmas celebrations. I had half mast erections almost the entire ride to our hotel. When we finally got there, we had some sex, and I had NO ED whatsoever. We were interupted, however, didn't finish, and went to sleep. Today, we went for it again and I again had no ED at all, and this time we both finished quite happily. It was worth it.
The mood swings, the doubt, the cravings...all worth it. I feel satisfied with myself, my relationship, and my wife in ways I have not in over a year. Go porn free. You will love it.
I got to 90 days, I've never been so proud of myself. I think this is the biggest accomplishment I've made so far in my life. (LINK)
I've kept myself busy working out, studying, doing my hobbies, doing something else than thinking of sex/fapping when I get urges. Since then, no more ED ! I've also started doing the first step towards girls, feeling more confident about myself. I don't think it's directly linked to the nofap, but to the fact that I decided to take care of myself and make a change in my life.
So to all of you guys who just started or are in less than 30 days, don't give up ! The result is worth it. Your health and your confidence depends on it !
Actually got hard and had sex with a beautiful woman for the first time in over a year. I've ruined with many women over the past year due to ED. Thank you so much NoFap. This shit works.
The title pretty much says everything. More for people who want to know more:
27 M. I was at my wits end. I'm pretty damn good at picking up/escalating with women (a great website all of you should check out is girlschase.com, helped my game immensely, if you read just one article read the one about texting). For over a year I had been downright afraid to go home with these women because of fear my dick wouldn't work. Obviously everyone here can probably relate to this awful feeling. When we didn't have sex, often after multiple attempts on different days, I'd eventually just cut them out of my life out of shame. There's a lot of great women I might have developed good relationships with if this weren't the case.
Several weeks ago I stopped porn completely, cut out masturbating, tried to distract myself every time I had any "porn" thoughts, and this weekend it proved to work on some level. I'm so happy about it I could cry. I'm never looking at porn ever again. It's brain poison.
Anyway thanks again dudes. Really love the support system on this site. I don't think I'm at the end of the journey yet (had a slight urge to look at porn today) but a real vagina getting your dick off is sure a good reminder of what the goal is here. If anyone has any questions I'm happy to answer.
I really like this forum, so I am gonna tell my last progress. In April I managed to make 8 weeks of rebooting and my situation was really good. My mental and physical health were amazing.
But In August I started watching porn and masturbating again. Nowadays the situation is so bad that I masturbate 3 a day with porn.
That is why I am gonna make a 10 Weeks stop in order to cure this problem.I will put here my progresses. ananda76111
Sometimes my sex drive feels the same as it was when I was 14 ; I have never had such strong erections in the last 20 years, except during my last no-fap streak of 54 days. If we consider that my reason for joining no-fap was my erectile dysfonction (inability to get an erection with a sexual partner) the results are quite promising... http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2d9mq9/3_weeks_21_days_nofap/
I've been rebooting since probably march with relapses along the way. But I met this girl yesterday, taking into account I'm in flatline I managed to get a solid erection and orgasmed with a blowjob which is something I've never done with out the help of Viagra so it's a massive step really.
But I think because I'm in flatline I didn't really appreciate it as much as I thought I would but I read that this is part if the process? Any way very happy and hope this is a sign of things to come! Thank you!
Hey guys, here is my half success update - the reason that I call it half success is that it has become quite clear to me that my ED problems have two different sources, one from generalized anxiety and one from PIED. I know in my mind what caused the generalized anxiety issues but PIED could have certainly contributed to it.
Now on to the PIED portion bc I am sure that is what you are most interested in. I actually have seen incredible benefits from doing 5 mini reboots. I have done a 21,21,35,31 and 38 day reboots. Currently on like day 4 of what I hope to be my last reboot (have said that before, but have some new motivation). To be honest, from a PIED standpoint, I think I am 95% cured.
My erection strength is dumb in a good way. Even on days I feel mentally flatlined, I can force an erection from thought, stand up and walk around and it will take probably 2 minutes to subside. On days when I don't have to get up early, I will often lay in bed in the morning just thinking for an hour and have an erection the entire time - yes an hour, multiple days in a row, and it feels good. Also, anytime when I feel like my anxiety is way down or gone away, I feel like a sexual beast - actually horny, have actually had sex drives I haven't had in years.
TheChieftanJun 28, 2012
Hi, I'm 48 and was masturbating to porn mags and Internet porn for a lot more years than you have been! I'm replying to you as a lot of the guys on here are very young and I think whist what they are going through is valuable info for all sometimes someone a little older may be a closer match to what yr going through.You need to remember, if we've been at this for 10 years plus then to expect a recover in 3 months is hopeful to say the least. There is no pattern here or formula. For some 3 months might do it but for others it will take longer.
For me I went into the withdrawal mode and honestly felt like I was coming off drugs for about 2 weeks (not that I actually know what that's like!). I was moody, headaches, angry, sad etc. The whole spectrum of emotions but I stuck with it. After about a month I went into flatline and this lasted again for a few weeks. No interest at all in anything sexual. I thought my penis had given up and gone. Towards the end of the 3rd month I started to see and feel things that I hadn't for a long number of years. Morning erection, erections for no reason during the day etc. All this gave me confidence that I was on the right track.
I'm now 6 months down the line and although I've had 2 occasions that I went back (one was deliberate to see what would happen) I can tell u that I am a different man from 6 months ago. My energy is back, my libido is in full flight, basically I feel like a teenager again. Porn and masturbation screwed me up for almost 20 years and I had no idea it was doing it.
Keep going and don't get down heartened. All that you're feeling is perfectly normal and if u stay the course u will come out of it.
ED gone after 12 days, girlfriend is "real" again
by Keeezy13 days
(Note he said - I'm 24 and started at around 19 -He started on Internet porn long after his sexuality was wired. Makes a difference.)
Success at 38 days.
Almost at the 90 day halfway point and I'm on the upswing after having a flatline from weeks 3 and 4. This has been my longest streak ever and I actually managed to bed a girl multiple times with no erection problems (after having porn related ED for a few yrs) last night. The first round ended quickly; 38 days of buildup makes it very hard to maintain control. But the later rounds were great and I lasted quite a while.
My confidence is brimming right now and I have a positive outlook on life. I look forward to the second half of the challenge!
relapses and ED
hey guys, Im a young guy with really serious ED issues that were almost fixed during after 4-5 months of nofap. However, 3 weeks ago I relapsed and had about 4 days of fapping (4 or 5 faps) I am now depressed and flatlining, and back to zero in terms of erections and libido. So I guess my question is- does it take as long to recover as the first time in such situations? Will my brain always remain so susceptible to quick desensitization that so much healing can be undone so quickly? Would appreciate if someone in similar situation can weight in on this.
so you think youre on hardmode?
(Age 21) I ALWAYS with every sexual partner have had the utmost trouble getting off. Out of my 20+ sexual partners only TWO have made me finish, and they were in long term relationships where we could figure it out. It was sad. I actually had to sit there and close my eyes and imagine a CONSTANT stream of mind porn in order to obtain a climax and its disgusting. I was more or less using my girlfriends bodies to help me jerk off.
I am now cured of this.
I havent completed the 90 day challenge. But I have had some pretty long (for me) streaks where I was able to refrain from PMO. During these stretches when I did have a partner I was able to climax in no time at all, with NO thinking about porn in my mind. It was a miracle. It was the best feeling ever. No anxiety about climax=better performance. I also got my super powers fairly quickly. I was more outgoing, more confident..and girls...DID start to notice me more often I felt like. Eye contact was an easy thing.
Had sex yesterday, it went great!
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 months now, and stopped PMO for approximately 1 month, I experienced awful side effects and even flu like symptoms the first week, then the libido flatline.. Awful !! I have been having a hard time having good erections when we're about to do it because of anxiety and my years of porn use.
I also noticed anxiety when we're about to do it, but yesterday I just didn't have any anxiety and we did it 3 times, I did have a hard time getting it up, but once it was there, no problem at all!! And it was really great for both of us, she couldn't even stand up for 15 minutes afterwards so it made me really confident and made my anxiety go away completely!!
That's when I realised that my ED came from a viscious cycle of flatline -> performance anxiety -> flatline and I think I will heal faster now that I don't have anxiety anymore, even if it's still hard getting it up for now, it has improved drastically over the past month.
I noticed that things that should make me have an erection, like seeing my girlfriend in panties and heels in front of me wouldn't, but kinky stuff can, so I still have withdrawal problems.
I am determined to never watch porn again after this!
Hello everyone..Im Teabag and this is my fist post...
OK... I will hold nothing back and will be as honest as i can. I haven't read all the post on here so some of the stuff i discuss might have been mentioned.
Ok to start ..My addiction first started im my home at 15 yrs old one day while showering. I discovered masturbation and it was a wrap. In the beginning
I remember it vividly. I could masturbate for hour and no ejaculation but maintained an erection and arousal. that is once i got used to doing it and realized what
it was. I today in my thirties remember my first orgasm in the shower. I remember it in detail actually. Even the feeling. But at the time as a teen i was pretty popular with
the girls. I have have high levels of sexual activity with foreplay .This was with girls my own age that were curious but didn't want to go all the way with penetration.
I wasn't pushy but here is the reason why. Im my home we we had porn channels that were blocked out and i figured out how to get the channels to work. SO after discovering
masturbation i was slowly watching porn. I thing the max number of times i masturbated was up to 6 times in one day. This was all all before 18 years old.
Ok Having gotten that out the way. fast forward to 18 year when i was now having sex with women. I was sexually aroused and had erections then that
i would kill for today (as in size). I would always please and over please my partner,But never myself. I would just have sex and ejaculate, which was the only time
that i would feel pleasure. But The Head of my penis had no feeling. As a young man i did not know what the feeling was to be like and would wonder if this was
really what sex was.When i started linking my sex life to porn was when i was having intercourse i would imagine that this was a porn set and that i was in a porn movie.
It would build some sort of arousal and also help me ejaculate whenever i wanted. All i had to do was think about and would ejaculate upon a mental reference to porn.
Here is when i realized something was wrong with the feeling in my penis. I had a casual encounter with a female in a deserted are. I had penetrated her,
as a young man i never liked condoms and had sex with inexperienced girls and used that as a meter to limit the STD contraction(the young me that is) .When i penetrated her
I felt the heat and it was something i had never felt before. It was intense and wonderful. I had to stop just from me not ejaculating inside of her. I finally reached the
point of no return (you know that click feeling when you know your ready to release). To me it felt like i just lost my virginity. It was quick and great. Based on my location
at the time after we left and went our separate ways. I was unable to shower so while traveling i could still feel her sensation on my penis head. This was weird
Buts that was ..to me how great it was. TO THIS DAY I HAVE NEVER HAD THAT FEELING AGAIN. i have had multiple relationships and never told this to my partners
that i cant feel nothing.They just know that i Take extremely long to climax.
It wasnt until recently that i came across the website your brain on porn that thing started to get put in perspective. Not to make this longer that it already is.
I have watched porn and probably ejaculated sometimes twice per day for the last 12-15 years. I decided that i want that feeling back so i decided to stop watching porn.
Fortunately i didnt find it difficult. i have stopped for almost a month now. But prior yo me stopping i did it for a month as well but had a relapse...where is got so horny I had
to Masturbate. Here is the difference though .At that point i did not need porn to get aroused I could actually use the relation of a female from my personal life to get off instead of watching
strangers have sex. The feeling in my penis head felt quite different and more sensitive. I could Immediately feel something changing something different. I have also tested my self
with the websites that i get my updated and fresh porn material. I had no desire to masturbate or even continue watching . Its like my brain said ...You don't need this anymore and even if i see porn its just an image and i don't get any arousal from it. The old me would have diveed right in . I do still get horny of course but my thoughts are in reality not from a fantasy world.
I dont think im no where ready for sexual encounter where im in the process of repairing the years of damage.. I know im not alone...I hope this works...
YES! That's literally exactly what I've been doing and I have had some success but am still set back my my porn addiction. I feel a little silly giving advice since I literally just watched porn and masturbated twice in the past 2 hours, but it's sound advice regardless.
I have the same problem, mainly ED and especially lack of sex drive from excessive porn and/or masturbation. The thing that helped me (like literally fixed the whole problem) was masturbating without porn AND without fantasy. Slowly, sensually, just focusing on whatever gets you off. My device of choice is my dick, but you can do whatever you want. Rub into those nipples and stimulate your asshole if that's what gets you off. I'm not sure if you've tried this, but masturbating without fantasy is what did it for me, ideally doing it slowly and sensually, essentially making it about pure physical sensation of your sexuality rather than fantasy.
I use lotion and experiment with different techniques rather than a straight up and down death-grip. I also keep my eyes open and pretty much just, and I know this sounds weird/silly/creepy/whatever, straight up stare at my dick. I mean it doesn't have to be a full on glare, but it helps me keep my focus on my sexuality and NOT on some woman or scenario I could be thinking about. When I started doing that for about 2 full weeks (I was doing ~1 masturbation every day or 2, not sure that matters though), my ED was cured/fixed and my sex drive went through the roof.
Now my only problem is staying off from porn. I don't really remember when I started seeing results initially, usually it depended on the severity and longevity of my last porn binge. I would guess I started seeing improvements in my ED and sex drive in about 5-8 days though. The times that I've been able to stay away from porn this has always worked for me. Feel free to respond or message with questions/comments/whatevers.
Curing Porn Induced ED Whilst Still Masturbating
26days = some of best sex ever!
Well I've gone 26 days now after going just a week at a time for ages, I've had some amazing sex with my gf of 8 months, not amazing in a porn style way, but very loving very emotional and feeling great. We'd sex 4 times this week, 2 of them were amazing, 2 were more the normal just felt good. It seemed to come out of nowhere the amazing sex. But really it was the lack of porn I'm sure. I wondered did I just think it was very different and gf didn't, but nope, gf that it was very different and amazing too, which makes it all the better. So keep up the kicking porn in the nuts folks!
30 day report with great results (long post)
Aged 37 and I've been addicted to porn without realising it for the past 8 years.
I began exploring masturbation when I was 15 and back in those days I'd use light stimulation, from Page 3 in the sun to swimsuit photos in weekend newspapers. This was enough to start a fantasy in my head a few times each week.
Things escalated once I headed to University with a few Playboy magazines here and there, which graduated to more hardcore magazines in due course. The internet still wasn't huge at this point and, with the old dial-up connection, access to videos was negligible so imagination and fantasy were still important when looking at mainly softcore photos and images. Likewise, porn was only available through a desktop machine at this point so I could only access it a couple of times each week when I had the house to myself.
I guess that I was about 22 when I could start downloading videos, but initially this was only a couple of times a week and probably only 10 second clips. This went on for a number of years until I relocated for work at 29, bought my first flat and started living alone. The temptation to go home, shut the door and immerse myself in porn became too great. I had no knowledge that this was an addiction - at the time it was just something I wanted to do. I didn't feel like I was missing out on a social life or relationships as I had a really busy job and was happy to just be at home after a 10 hour day. But over time a 'quick wank' turned into a 90 minute session with multiple videos on the go - I could no longer orgasm to one scene and needed multiple women to get any kind of kick. The arrival of an iPad and iPhone only made things worse.
About age 33 I had a few casual girlfriends and noticed that none of them were turning me on - I had 'dead dick' on several occasions and began questioning if I was gay, in spite of having never found a man attractive or ever having looked at any kind of gay porn. In the end I put it down to anxiety or alcohol and carried on as normal.
It wasn't until four weeks ago, when I met a girl that I adored and fancied the pants off, that I began researching my issues in more detail. As I laid there with her and experienced dead dick for an hour, she was incredibly upset and thought I didn't like her, but nothing could have been further from the truth. This gave me the push I needed to find out what the problem was and I came across the your brain on porn website. Suddenly everything clicked and I knew I had to make a change - I had PIED and I was utterly mortified. How had it come to this?
Since that last 'dead dick' experience four weeks ago I've had the 'porn is not an option' mentality and 30 days in I have no desire to go back to the way I was. That last traumatic experience really gave me the motivation I needed to admit I had a problem - an addiction. I feel like I've just woken from a bad dream and can't wait to overcome it and start living again.
Weeks one, two and three of no PMO all merged into a 21 day period of insomnia, brain fog and mild headaches with some cold and flu symptoms. I felt pretty awful throughout, but had zero desire to look at porn. As I said, I've had the 'porn is not an option' mentality from the start and tell myself that's not who I am anymore. I'm focusing on the person I want to be and throwing myself into nutrition and working out, two big interests of mine anyway. Thankfully porn didn't impact my career, which continues to progress well, and I've always worked out regularly and played sport. But I've avoided relationships for as long as I can remember, not realising that porn had warped my brain and outlook.
Week four begins and I suddenly feel amazing. No brain fog and a razor sharp clarity. It's almost New Year and there's so much I want to achieve - the world is my oyster. First day of this week I head to a major shopping centre for the sales. I usually hate this, but thoroughly enjoy interacting with all the sales assistants. I feel good and get checked out by four women looking in my direction, twirling their hair etc. At first I thought I was imagining it, but it's definitely happening. I've never, ever noticed this before and there are attractive, amazing women everywhere. I feel alive, more than I ever have.
I'm incredibly horny on days two and three of week four with a rock hard erection. No desire to look at porn or masturbate, but a real desire to be with a woman, to immerse myself in the taste, smell and overall experience of being with someone. This passes by gritting my teeth, listening to some music and going for a walk.
Not really any morning wood to speak of during week four, but I'd say that I'm waking with a 50% to 80% erection on a regular basis now. This is a big improvement as I never had any kind of stirrage down below on waking, at least not in the past 5 years. My flaccid penis also looks great. It's hanging longer and fuller and feels smoother. I feel more manly as a result. My voice has also dropped a couple of octaves which I didn't expect and is noticeably deeper.
I'll post again as things progress, but my advice after 30 days is to not focus on the number of days you've gone without PMO. I mean, what are you going to do when you hit 30, 60 or 90 days, go back to the way things were before? The danger with that kind of objective is that you give up when you hit it. Instead focus on living your life and being the person you want to be every single day and do it now. Throw yourself into your hobbies and interests, make time to cook, work out, go out and interact with people, speak to women and ask a few out. Look forwards not backwards and don't focus on the number.
I've always worked out and played sport, but without the PMO I'm hitting personal bests at the gym every week and making some amazing gains. I also want to start some other new hobbies now that I have so much extra free time on my hands.
The thought of looking at porn repulses me now as I've experienced first hand what it can do to relationships. It's not real and you can waste your life making love to your hand. Wake up now, start living and develop some real relationships.