Shekaru na 33 - DE, tashin hankali na zamantakewar jama'a, ƙiyayya da kai ya tafi, yana son rai

Na ƙaddamar da kalubale na gwagwarmaya ta 90! Shin na koyi game da kaina kuma na zama mutum mafi kyau daga wannan kwarewa? Haka ne, amma ba domin dalilan da na yi tunani ba. Bada izinin bayyana. Ni 33 ne, kuma na kasance mai shan magani na PMO a tsawon shekaru goma.

Kamar yawancin mutane a nan, na girma tare da Intanet, kuma kasancewa "mai haɗin gwanin kwamfuta" na sha'awata da rukunin labarai, shafukan bbs karkashin kasa, 4Chan (kafin a tsaftace shi), TOR da sauran ayyukan da ba na al'ada ba inda abun da ba a tsara ba shi da sauƙi. zo ta. Abubuwan da nake kallo sun zama masu tasowa, har ma cewa wata mace mara kyau ta sake tayar da ni - ta dauki mummunan darajar da za ta kashe ni. Bayan lokuta na PMO zan dawo cikin hankalina kuma in kunyata kaina. Ina tsammanin "Ba zan so in sami irin wannan jima'i a rayuwa ta ainihi, me yasa wannan shine abinda zan yi amfani da shi don barin? Shin na lalace? "

A lokacin jarabace, rayuwata ta kasance harsashi ne na mutum. Na zauna da kaina na shekaru masu yawa, don haka PMO na kasancewa kullum kowace rana kafin barci. A matsayin "na halitta" kamar yadda nake ɗaukar shit - laifin da na ji lokacin da nake ƙarami an maye gurbinsu da wani gamsuwa cewa ni dan mutum ne wanda zai iya yin aiki a kan umarni. Amma wannan shi ne duk kuɗi, kuma a gaskiya ma an lalace ni tun daga shekaruna na kallon hotuna masu damuwa - wani abu da ban yarda da kaina ko wasu ba - har ma a cikin labaran yanar gizo kamar NoFap. An ware ni daga dangi da abokaina, ina jin kamar na kasance a wannan duniyar kadai. Ina zaune tare da bakin ciki, kuma Fapping ne kawai na kawai dopamine gyara.

Na ji rashin cancanta ga abokiyar mata, a ɓoye yana tsoron cewa babu mace, ko da ta yaya mai dadi ko mai kyau, zai iya cika burina na sha'awa. Ban cancanci "kyakkyawan yarinya" a maimakon haka na yi murabus kaina a koyaushe in yi wasa da jarumi mai tsabta wanda "yake ceton 'yar yarinya" - kuma yana da dangantaka mai tsawo (rashin nasara) don nuna maka ƙoƙarin. Addicts na ciwo na tunanin mutum yana neman kamfani. Na saboda rashin fahimtar jama'a da damuwa da ke ciwo da ƙananan zumuncin da nake da shi. A lokacin ne na yi tunani: wannan ba BAYA nake ba.

Ina buƙatar neman wata hanya ta rayuwa, kuma a matsayin mai amfani mai amfani da Reddit na san NoFap amma na yi la'akari da cewa zance daga PMO zai haifar da canji na gaske. Duk da haka, na gano tunanin da nake da shi game da kaina na amfani da ita ta hanyar PMO, don haka yanke shawarar gwada NoFap a matsayin wani ɓangare na aiki na kan kaina. Yaro ya yi mamakin ...

Lokacin da na yanke shawara na gaske na kiyaye 'yan kwanaki na farko sun zama jahannama. Binciken na ya ƙone kamar yadda suke so don saki. Na yi barci a kan baya kamar yadda kullun tabawa yake jin zafi. Akwai sha'awar har abada kuma ina jin dadi na mako na farko - wani abu wanda ya tabbatar da ni da cewa wannan shi ne sakamakon dopamin da ake hanawa ga jiki. Na sanya shi zuwa kwanaki 32 tare da ƙoƙari na farko. A wannan lokacin na lura da yawancin "manyan 'yan kallo" da wasu mutane suka ambata a cikin wannan sub. Na sake koma bayan 'yan lokutan bayan da aka yi la'akari da alamar 1 mako, amma a wannan lokacin ina alfaharin gabatar da kaina don fararen ranar bikin 90. Bayan makonni na farko sai ya fi sauƙi a guji. Bayani: kada ka daina - wannan ba komai ba ne mai wuya .... Amma yana da daraja sosai!

A "manyan" na samu ga kaina:

  • Tashin hankali na jama'a ya wuce - Kafin NoFap Na kasance a kusa da samun Xanax ko wasu magani don taimaka mini zama mafi zamantakewa. Zan "ɓoye" a gidan a karshen mako a kan binges na PMO. Lokacin da zan fita sai na ji kamar kowa ya san asirinta kuma a asirce yana son ya zama kadai. Yanzu? Ina komawa tsohuwar hanyar zamantakewa - yin al'ajabi da kuma haɗuwar tafiye-tafiye zuwa bakin teku / fina-finai / rawa / sauransu da abokai - 180 turnaround daga 'yan watanni da suka wuce.
  • Confidentarin ƙarfin zuciya - Kafin in guji ba da ra'ayina idan ya ɓata wa wani rai da gangan. Ban kasance mai gaskiya a cikin ma'amala da mutane ba kamar yadda koyaushe zan yarda da su don in sa su so ni. Yanzu? Na amince da tafiya wurare, haɗuwa da ido tare da maza da mata, murya mai zurfi da sauƙi a cikin ayyukana na yau da kullun. Yanzu na ji kamar ra'ayina da ayyukana sun dace / mahimmanci (ko fiye da haka) fiye da kowane mutum wanda yake so - amincewa da kaina da kaina ya bambanta da na kasance cikin shekaru.
  • Harkokin lafiya - Ni mai kirki ne mai kyau kuma in sami kudi mai kyau, duk da haka zan ci gaba da kawo karshen dangantakar abokantaka a inda na kasance irin beta. Har ma na yi la'akari da karuwanci kawai don samun jin dadi na jiki ba tare da wani rikici ba (wanda ya ji ni bai cancanta ba). Yanzu? Bayan kimanin watanni na 3 na NoFap (Na sake saitawa a wasu lokutan a cikin 'yan watanni na farko) Na sadu da yarinya a wata ƙungiya. Lokacin da na sadu da ita, lambar ta ta kasance a ranar 2 - amma na yanke shawarar cewa ta cancanci ƙoƙarin da zan karya wannan mummunan hali. Lokaci da zan saba amfani da shi na neman batsa sai PMO na yi amfani dashi don kwanan wata yarinya. Yanzu 90 kwanaki daga baya ta zauna tare da ni kuma muna magana game da aure / yara.
  • Jima'i na jima'i - Daga shekaru masu zuwa na PMO na san abin da ya faru na jima'i na yau da kullum wanda ya ba da izinin jima'i a lokacin jima'i. Ba zan iya wahala ba amma yana da DE (jinkirta lokaci) har zuwa ma'anar inda nake jin kunyar yin jima'i kamar yadda ba zan iya shiga tare da mace ba. Yanzu? Ya zama matsala mai sauƙi don samun 'yar budurwa, amma ta kasance mai ƙauna da haƙuri tare da ni - wani abu da ba ni da kaina ba. My DE ne mafi alhẽri, da kuma dabaru don jinkirta yanzu amfani da su yin ta orgasm sau da yawa. Hannata na sha'awar jima'i yanzu yana da kwarewa mai kyau kuma yana jin cewa ya kamata ya zama abin da ke cikin jima'i da aka haife ni ba tare da wani laifi ba daga baya.
  • Ra'ayoyin lafiya - zan ƙi kaina. Zan yi watsi da kaina a tunani. Na dauki kashe kansa. Ina so ina iya barci har abada. Yanzu? Ina son rai. Yana da daidai wannan rai (aikin ɗaya, mota daya, matsaloli guda) duk da haka mutane a rayuwata da sababbin yanayi na sa na farin cikin farka. Abin damuwa shine mummunan abu kuma tunaninka ya halicci gaskiyarka. Hanyar lafiya = rayuwar lafiya. Rashin rashin lafiya = rayuwa mara kyau.

*TL / DR: NoFap ya canza yadda nake ganin kaina. Ya ba ni wani abu mai girman kai. Ya koya mani horo na kai. Ya sanya ni mafi alheri fiye da na dā. *

Na gode duka don sakonninku a cikin wannan ƙaramin reddit, yana da kyau in san cewa ba ni kaɗai ba. Rayuwa da gaske tana samun cigaba ba tare da PMO ba, kuma wata rana zaka fahimci / gaskanta dalilin da yasa nace haka (koda kuwa baka jin haka da kanka a halin yanzu). Ina fatan zan iya zaburar da akalla mutum daya ya tsaya tare da kalubale kuma ya canza rayuwarsu - kamar yadda aka yi min wahayi lokacin da nake shirye in canza.

90 kwanakin zuwa rayuwa mafi kyau! Labarina na gwagwarmaya da nasara a kan shekaru goma na PMO kai-zalunci 

by craftty 90 days



RASHAYE 180 DAYS

Barka dai 'yan uwana matafiya, ina so nayi bayani kan "sabon al'adata" da kuma' yan kalmomin karfafa gwiwa ga wadanda suke cikin wannan cigaban. Yau ita ce ranar 180th na guje wa PMO. Shekaruna 33 da haihuwa kuma idan na waiga baya a al'adata ta batsa da ta gabata ina jin kunyar lokacin da na bata.<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“></p><p>PMO was a habit for me, one where I would spend 2 to 4 hours a night searching for “just the right video” that was bizarre or degrading enough for my mind to feel satisfied. Like any habit the amount and intensity of the required material escalated to unhealthy levels. I was a slave to my mind. I rationalized away my self-destructive behavior, excusing myself again and again, all while feeling weak to my own urges. I viewed women as sexual beings only, and secretly hated myself and felt unworthy of love. If this is also your story fellow Fapstronaught… take heed: there is hope.</p><p>After finding out about NoFap (from 4chan of all places) I read up and watched the Your Brain On Porn videos. I then understood that part of my problem was willpower… the other part was addiction. When I understood my behavior as an addiction like any other (to cigarettes, drugs, etc) I resolved to take control of my life and wrestle my mind free from its addicted state.</p><p>It was not easy at first. I had physical pains and withdrawal symptoms in the fist week. There was a literal burning sensation in my groin that wanted release. I stuck with it. I relapsed a few times but now, after relapsing I understood that it was like a smoker wanting for “one more cigarette” – and I forgave myself. I saw my body as acting separate from my true desire and made peace with myself that although the flesh is week, my spirit was willing. I did not give up, and neither should you.</p><p>I started on “hard mode” (no gf) but after a few weeks I met this new and amazing girl who will become my wife in a few months (we are engaged!). It was difficult to transition into a relationship as years of self abuse using porn had desensitized me sexually with DE as well as mentally. There was a period of resetting to my “new normal” which is what I now live everyday. Here are some things I now enjoy that I did not before:</p><ul><li>Improved mental clarity – there is a mental fog that used to follow me around blurring and dulling my sight and other senses. I feel more alert and sensitive to the world now.</li><li>More productive time – I used to have a routine of coming home from work, eating food then spending the rest of the night torrenting porn or searching for the “right video” to get me off. Now, I have my fiancee with me in the evenings to talk to, to cook together, to play with the dog, to enjoy our time instead of waste it.</li><li>Self esteem – I used to avoid social situations and even going out with friends as my anxiety worsened. This social anxiety was rooted in feelings of unworthiness. I did not feel I had anything useful to contribute to conversations and my presence was a burden to others. Not anymore. I speak from my heart and am bold in my actions – I have re-discovered the man I was years ago.</li><li>More in control of emotions and life – Before I would feel like I had little control of my daily life and that my insular routine was keeping me “safe” – in fact my sheltered existence was wasting my life away in a daily grind that only served to fulfill my base animal desires (eat, sex, sleep). I have broken that cycle and you can too. Through meditation I now have more control over how I think and feel and use that control to choose positive things to dwell on. You are your own worst critic… learn to forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself… weaknesses and all.</li></ul><p>I hope others in this sub reddit stay on course and benefit themselves the way I did. I used NoFap as a starting point to bettering myself and my life. I have leaned that no one is a lost cause and we are all able to be better people. NoFap gives you a sense of self-pride which will carry over into other aspects of your daily life. Other people will notice a difference in your posture, attitude, mood and energy level.</p><p>My “success story” is just one of many. This 90 day challenge is a beneficial teaching tool – it teaches you about yourself. Learn your body. Learn your mind. When you do, you will figure out how to “hack your brain” and divert your negative energy into something more useful. Do it for yourself. Do it for others that are important in your life. You are worth it.</p><p>Peace.</p><p><strong>LINK – <a href=90 kwanakin ninki biyu = 180 kwanakin rayuwa sabuwar rayuwa (self.NoFap)

by craftty