Can XXX Movies Cause Erectile Dysfunction? Here’s What You Need To Know
So things are got hot and heavy in the bedroom and you find yourself unable to perform. You wonder what it is — you love your partner and really want to connect with her. She’s saying all the right things, she’s doing all the right moves — but for some reason, you’re just not able to get a strong erection and give her what she’s begging for.
“You are a virile young guy and your partner is way hot, so what’s the problem? What’s really weird is that this never happens when you’re looking at porn, only with real-world stuff,” says Robert Weiss, a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions, author of Out of the Doghouse.
If this sounds familiar, you may be dealing with porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), an issue that is affecting growing numbers of physically healthy men. “PIED is tied to what psychologists call a “conditioned response.”
Contents
- 1 Is Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction A Myth?
- 2 What To Do If You’re Suffering From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction
- 3 How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction?
- 4 Can You Go Back To Porn After Erectile Dysfunction?
1. Is Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction A Myth?
Basically, if you spend 70, 80, or even 90% of your sexual life with online porn — endless images of sexy, exciting, constantly changing partners and experiences — you become conditioned to that level of sexual intensity,” says Weiss. Then, by comparison, you find your real-world partners significantly less stimulating, regardless of how much you like a particular in-the-flesh partner.
Erectile dysfunction is, of course, complicated. There’s a lot of reasons it may happen. So, if you’re suffering from it, you shouldn’t necessarily immediately assume it’s related to your porn habit.
“There are a variety of serious medical issues that are complex and not easily corrected that can affect ones ability to obtain and maintain an erection, and there are a number of causes of erectile dysfunction (ED) that are well within our control to address,” says Magnus Sullivan, creator of ManShop.com and its sister site, BetterThanTheHand.com.
If you’re experiencing ED, it’s important to understand the cause in order to take the appropriate actions to correct the issue. “Diabetes, MS, prostate surgery and kidney failure can cause ED and these are complex issues that require skilled medical attention. General stress, drug use, relationship problems, lack of fitness and smoking are also common causes of ED, and these causes are more within our personal control to moderate,” says Sullivan.
Most men experience some form of erectile dysfunction at some point (also a loss of sexual appetite or sexual anorexia), but our culture doesn’t recognize it as such. And in often cases, masturbation, sometimes via porn, is actually a way to train yourself to last longer and have more endurance.
“Masturbation is dick training. If approached with creativity and a sense of possibility (‘How long can I remain erect before orgasm? How can I remain erect after orgasm? Can I orgasm after my first, second or third orgasm?’), masturbation is the best way to not only address ED, but also understand the reach of your sexual potential,” says Sullivan. Unless you have one of the medical issues cited above, you can remain erect after orgasm, you can have multiple orgasms, you can have a vigorous sexual life well into your twilight years.
But, of course, everything in moderation. We’re in no way suggesting porn or masturbation is a bad thing. It’s actually very good for you. But there is a point that you’re watching so much porn that it enters into an addictive tendency. You need more graphic, more intense, rougher sexual situations on that screen to stimulate you, and real life starts to just not be enough.
That girl in your bed is just not exciting you as much as the virtual reality you have gotten yourself absorbed into. If you’re having ED issues here, the chances are this is psychological, not biological. Your porn habit has made you suffer loss of sexual appetite (or sexual anorexia) in real life. It happens. More than you’d think.
Quite simply, that’s a point where you may be going too far. “Men tend to become desensitized to erotic stimuli over long-term porn use,” says Dr. Ralph Esposito, a functional medicine practitioner at Armonk Integrative Medicine and an expert in integrative urology and men’s health. “It’s as if their body craves the porn when they’re in front of a naked woman. This has to do with dopamine receptors and the pleasure seeking system, which produces a high of some sort.”
There’s been a lot of research done on the relationship between watching porn and our own in-real-life relationships. The Journal of Sexual Medicine recently completed a study, finding that porn watchers fall into several categories. These categories include recreational, compulsive and those considered at risk.
Another study linked porn consumption to erectile dysfunction. The risk for this will largely depend on where you fall on into those three categories — recreational views have a lot less to worry about than at-risk viewers — but the ultimate results say that if you’re watching a ton of porn, you may get so used to those over the top erotic scenes than the real life girl in front of you is less able to arouse you. You’re becoming desensitized to the real thing, via the virtual world. Brave new world, indeed.
Porn is healthy and should never be shunned or treated as a sin (we had moms for that!), but too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, no matter what that good thing is. The truth is, people are watching porn more than ever. A study in 2014 found that a third of men were watching porn every single day. That was three years ago. It’s just getting higher, especially as the world grows more virtual and more interconnected.
“I used pornography as a tool to enhance my sexuality and try to achieve erections,” says Dan Canfield, an erectile dysfunction expert, and life long sufferer of the condition, author of the forthcoming book Hack the ED Code.
“I was born with a form erectile dysfunction and tried almost everything to get an erection. Unfortunately, since I had Corporal Erectile Tissue Fibrosis, any stimulus I attempted failed. Keep in mind, porn did stimulate my mind and led to me getting extremely aroused, viscerally,” says Canfield.
Research has shown that overdosing on pornography can, over time, lead to desensitizing certain receptors in the brain. “The three main causes of E.D. can be categorized as Biological, Psychosocial and Musculoskeletal. Addiction to porn would most certainly be Psychosocial. In my work, I have found that communication with your partner is key to dealing with any form of erectile dysfunction,” says Canfield.
So many men who now frequent pornography sites have developed overstimulation and too much masturbation and have taught themselves to only be stimulated by newer and more unrealistic stimuli. Over stimulation is making it harder to be stimulated, basically. In order for them to have any arousal with their real meat requires a lot of focus and concentration.
“This can be very distant heartening for both parties as the woman may find herself not desirable and thinking there something wrong with her,” says Elsa Orlandini, Psy.D.. licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.
As an example, see this story of one user on Reddit:
“Recently I met this girl at work who I found extremely attractive and I decided I wanted to lose it with her, I took her to a hotel and all and we did the usual, foreplay and everything but when it came to doing the deed my friend was not up for it. It was extremely strange for me because I assumed a 25-year-old virgin would have a rock solid cock ready to bang this chick’s brains out. But nothing, it just got flaccid and it was extremely embarrassing for me. We have tried again on a few occasions and pretty much the same thing, and I’m pretty sure she won’t bother with me again. What I found strange at first was that when I watch porn I could get it hard, extremely hard and have the most amazing orgasms. I have been watching porn since I was 16 and pretty much discovered that you could cum after masturbating almost accidentally and have been regularly masturbating for almost 9 years now.”
The man who lives with the burden of secrecy and knowing that he has an alternative sexual life with porn stars — virtual entities he will never meet. This behavioral pattern can be distractive addictive and very costly.
“Many of my clients find themselves not going to work not sleeping and not participating in their daily activities to find pockets of time within which to have these relationships with these virtual entities. Their partners progressively become more distant and angered and challenge their fidelity and challenge their ability to perform,” says Dr. Orlandini.
At times, by the time the person decides to get better, the partner is no longer available nor willing to open themselves intimately.
2. What To Do If You’re Suffering From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction
The quick answer to this is that you need to stop looking at porn. Putting porn aside and replacing it with real-world fun with other people — recreation with friends and loved ones — will cause your conditioned response to porn to fade. “Usually, if you walk away from porn, your sexual performance will return to its normal level within a few months. That said, returning to baseline can take a year or more in some men,” says Weiss.
Of note, medical issues can cause erectile dysfunction, even in younger men. “If that is the case for you, medications like Viagra may help. Similarly, early-life trauma issues can lead to erectile dysfunction. If so, therapy that helps you process this trauma might help. If your issue is solely related to porn, however, medications and counseling are unlikely to help, and you’ll need to quit the porn,” says Weiss.
How To Talk To Your Partner
If porn-related erectile dysfunction is causing problems in your relationship, it’s best to tell your partner that the issue is not a lack of attraction, it’s a conditioned response to the porn you’ve been looking at. “Then you can tell your partner that you’re quitting porn, and you expect your real-world sexual functioning to gradually return as your brain’s pleasure center normalizes,” says Weiss.
“Whenever I work with in a erectile dysfunction couple I do address each person individually first to understand the cost of the dysfunction,” says Dr. Orlandini.
“If I see it’s pornography-induced what I do is I tried to put them in a complete diet and not allow them to have any type of intimacy for a while and only allow them to see their partner as any sort of stimuli. I encouraged her partner to understand were undergoing some type of recalibration without much collaboration with the hopes that they will offer their partner the space and time to change the way their brains see sex and what is the source of stimuli and desire for them,” says Dr. Orlandini.
It is, however, common for partners to know that there is some variety of masturbation going on and pornography is involved. “In those cases it allows for clarification as what has happened to their partners brain and what can be done to improve and strengthen their intimacy. Rarely do I encourage pornography to be used as part of healing the sexual intimacy as we are risking a regression into pornography addiction.,” says Dr. Orlandini.
“A number of men I’ve spoken with described how women broke up with them after finding them masturbating to porn or magazines,” says Sullivan. Others described how their wives entered couple’s therapy to address their ‘porn addiction’ or ‘sex addiction.’
“A therapist friend mentioned that about 80% of all of the heterosexual couples that see her do so for the first time because the female partner thinks the man has a sex problem. If more women better understand the broad spectrum of motivations to masturbate and the benefits of masturbation, men would be able to more easily shed the shame and fear and, ironically, become the attentive, creative lovers their partners seek. If we can recast masturbation not only as fantasy fulfillment but also as an important part of understanding ourselves and becoming a more expansive lover, maybe women wouldn’t be put off by a man who masturbates three times a day?” says Sullivan.
If someone senses that their partner has issues with masturbation, it’s important to understand what their concerns are and how you can mitigate them. That is where some couples run into trouble. They start to associate blame and shame before moving past it.
“The reason extends far beyond the importance of the personal pleasure associated with masturbation: this issue — the fear, stigma and shame associated with male sexual fantasies and solo sex — is directly linked to increased risk of health-related problems, increased relationship stress, increased personal stress, problems with sexual performance and extends its reach into rigid social mores around sex and gender,” says Sullivan.
It’s not only a barrier to your own personal sexual growth, but it also limits the reach of your potential as a person, the potential of your relationship and your potential to positively affect those around you.
“It cuts to the core of who we are as people and how we feel about our most basic needs. And this is not new-age musing: There is strong evidence that shows masturbation dramatically reduces the risk of prostate cancer, prevents erectile dysfunction and incontinence as you age by strengthening pelvic muscles, reduces stress, boosts the immune system, elevates mood, helps manage premature ejaculation, improves sleep and improves ability to orgasm. That alone justifies the effort to reposition masturbation and sexual fantasy in the eyes of your partner. But the real reason to address the issue is tied to something more nebulous but far more meaningful: Embracing the totality of your sexuality is a critical part of understanding and accepting who you are,” says Sullivan.
And that’s the bedrock of confidence: clarity and empathy.
3. How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction?
Of course, this is going to vary from person to person, and as with anything, you’ll probably see good days and bad days. You may experience feelings of withdrawal and cravings: If you have an addiction, and you’re abstaining, you”ll still crave that drug for a while. But you should see a gradual return to better erections, sexual desire (for your partner, not for the porn), and you’ll get pleasure from real sex again.
RELATED: Five Ways Quitting Masturbation Helped Me Succeed
“At first I like to encourage my clients to take a one-month vacation from all intimacy both masturbation and with any partner,” says Dr. Orlandini. “This allows for a diet to occur and for the brain to develop healthier desire and a healthy appetite for stimuli that’s real. Then the healing begins and a time varies from person to person how long the healing will take,” says Dr. Orlandini.
It really does revolve around compliance and the ability of both partners to prioritize fixing the problem at hand.
Of course, as with any recovery, you need to follow the steps. Are you being consistent in avoiding porn, or having some slips? Do you currently have a sexual partner? It’s easier to rewire to enjoy real sex if you’re having real sex! Also, the type of porn you’re watching may matter. If you found yourself going for increasingly shocking and intense stuff, real life may take a while to live up to it.
But rebooting can have really exciting results, as one user on Reddit shares:
I’ve suspected PMO to be the cause of my ED for some time now. I’ve only had a hand full of sexual encounters within the last couple of years, because each time I tried, I was barely able to summon a semi. It was embarrassing and very frustrating. I decided to take up the challenge, hoping that perhaps it would solve my problem. I’ve been doing NoFap for 2-3 months, with 2-3 relapses. But even though I relapsed during this time, I made sure that at least the relapses did NOT involve porn. So last night, I decided to try and have a sexual experience with someone I met on OkCupid. I wasn’t overly interested in this person; it was essentially just a test. We met, I didn’t find the person very physically attractive, and we didn’t seem to have much chemistry. And taking all of that into consideration, when this person started touching me and made their way down to my junk… BAM! Almost immediately, FULL MAST. I am so, so happy about this! I was able to summon and maintain an erection with someone I was only mildly interested in, simply from their touch. I don’t want to say I’m completely cured until I try this with someone I’m VERY interested in. But I’m extremely encouraged! I think I’m finished with porn for good. This test proved to be a great success. If you think you may have porn-induced ED, you probably do! Give it up. It isn’t real – and there is no comparison to true human interaction.
If you take longer than expected to reboot, you may want to see your doctor and make sure there’s not something other than porn going on.
4. Can You Go Back To Porn After Erectile Dysfunction?
If you experienced PIED (or any other porn-related issues), and then you quit using porn and returned to normal functioning, that’s great. And you should probably stay away from porn in the future. Why mess with success, right? “Sure, you might be able to use porn in moderation and without consequences in the future, but there’s an equal or better chance that you’ll start to use it heavily again, leading a reemergence of PIED (and possibly other problems),” says Weiss.
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