My story starts a lot like others probably started. My mother’s then boyfriend would look at pornography in broad daylight, right on the computer in the living room. He would make a, likely half hearted, effort to block us children from seeing what he was looking at, but I saw. I started innocently, looking at sensual photos of actresses I saw on TV, and then I got a hold of internet porn, and it took off.
I eventually got to the point where I would get aroused simply when I had the house to myself. I was sucked into this world. I joined porn forums, and I would spend hours chatting with other porn users about porn and other things. This eventually lead to a divorce. While married, I didn’t PMO very often, but P was still a large part of my life. I still logged into this forum, looked at naked women, and discussed them with other members. Eventually, I ended up actually talking with actual pornstars on this site, and that ultimately lead to my wife leaving me. Trying to win my wife back helped me quit, for a little while, but once that ship sailed I was right back into it.
What eventually lead me to be healed was a new found faith in Jesus Christ. Through the strength given to me by Christ, prayer, and the drive to not fail my new wife, I have overcome this demon. Now, I want to help others. The church is under attack by porn, and many of men have fallen victim. I’ve been clean for a bit over a year now (since I have remarried), and I stay motivated by reading God’s word, praying, and keeping vigilant, keeping on the offensive by reading books, reading testimonies, listening to podcasts and other audio content.
The desire to go back creeps up every now and again, but now I have the defense I need to fight this! God bless you all.
LINK – Clean for 1 year now!
by Beardasauras
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