I occasionally have sex with my girlfriend and have successfully had tantric sex which lead to multiple body orgasms with no ejaculation. Other times I was too caught up in the carnal pleasure of it and accidentally busted a nut (probably twice in the last year). Deep breathing can move sexual energy up the spine if one is not overly concerned with the pleasure seeking aspect.
Anywho…I think I am at 1 year of NoFap. It has been a year since I deleted the 4GB of porn from my PC.
This journey is about transmuting sexual energy into vitality or motivation both are AKA energy.
Suppressing the sexual thoughts are not enough. Suppression leads to instability. Focusing your attention on not thinking about a pink elephant will strengthen the idea of a pink elephant.
People say get busy. Good advice. Though when you inevitably need to rest, sexual thoughts will creep in and you will indulge in the fantasy, as I have countless times. However, I never started fapping. So be very careful with how you approach this mentally. The body follows the mind, fantasy is the first step to fapping so pay attention when you start to fantasize.
The energy you lose fapping is more than physical and for those with a more mystical point of view, investigation into “brahmacharya” will lead you to further insights. Some would say our very vital creative force is contained therein, not just nutrients.
For those more scientifically minded, semen is made up of the same stuff our cerebrospinal fluid is made up of. This spinal fluid has many trace compounds that can be difficult to accumulate in sufficient density through a poor diet. This fluid enters our brain during deep sleep and is our brains only way to rid itself of waste. Coincidentally, our grey matter is made up of the same substances that are in cerebrospinal fluid. So if A=B and B=C then A=C.
Especially for those on a poor diet, NoFap is important. For those that still fap and rationalize it through a good diet or “restorative elixirs”, imagine how much better off you would be if you had both a good diet and a long NoFap streak.
As I said before, where the mind goes, the body follows. So watching porn, indulging in fantasy, etc is setting you up for a wet dream if you successfully resist the urge to fap (resisting fapping is easy, resisting a very realistic sexual dream is far harder no pun intended…)
Going to bed with sexual thoughts or pining for someone is setting yourself up for failure.
Wet dreams are a sign that you still have unchanneled energy, it has nothing to do with “natural” processes. Get your ass into the gym or go for a run, write a book or a song or get yourself into an undergraduate or masters program and even then you will still have unused energy.
It is a great challenge to channel ALL of your energy from NoFap into useful things and if the mind is not careful it can be expressed in negative ways like anger or jealousy or a need for superiority. Sexual energy, in the east, is referred to as the energy of a snake (no joke) and flows like a river, you are in control of how it flows but the power of that river can become negative if you allow it be. This power can be used for good and bad.
These states of mind are also agitated when your ego grows. Any increase in ego will aggravate your lower desires and make NoFap more difficult. Achievement in NoFap is ego and will push you in this direction, be careful.
This is all about DESIRE, once you realize your desires will never be satisfied fully or permanently, you have to decide whether to give them up in search of something higher or continue to chase momentary satisfaction.
There are bonuses to staying on the path, but they are also traps for our egos… For instance, it is easier to be physically fit because you literally NEED to get out of the house and run 5 miles before you burst from nervous energy. Only upon exercising does relief come. I have been lifting weights for 4 years straight, and only recently have I realized that I never have any “bad” workouts anymore or what I used to call “bad” workouts. Possibly placebo, you be the judge.
People will naturally find you more attractive physically, will like looking into your eyes more, will want to be around you more…. all things leading you down the path of ego again which can turn the power of that river into something negative.
Meditation is channeling that sexual energy into the unknown, the universe or if you prefer God. Some say it is sex with God and I have found it to be a very sublime way to channel sexual energy. Some might say it is a placebo effect, maybe it is, but when I feel energy from my pelvis literally rushing up my spine and my whole body shakes in ecstatic bliss, I can’t help but think it is otherworldly.
The type of diet you eat will affect your mental state. Diets high in meat will bring your lower desires up more than a vegan diet. I switch between days where I eat meat or if I’m vegan or vegetarian (that day). I encourage all of us to try this for themselves and take careful observance of our thoughts… so either keep this thought or throw it out if its too “far-out”
Best of luck and finally, once you graduate from NoFap, the next step is what they call in the east “brahmacharya” which is not only semen retention but more about channeling energy and being chaste in thought as well (much of what I talked about). In this modern society perhaps we can couple it with occasional tantric sex (without ejaculation).
How does one have sex without ejaculation? Tantric Sex, which is essentially moving the energy from the pelvis up the spine. It’s difficult for us westerners because we are so attached to the pleasure aspect, but it can be done by the disciplined.
Talking about the personal benefits I have received would lead me down the path of ego and I would like to avoid that. The physical, emotional and spiritual benefits of NoFap or what I call brahmacharya are so numerous that it sounds absurd and makes me look like an egotist and I’d rather not go there potentially influencing others to look at it this way.
Being the best self you can be is a service to the world, not yourself.